Do you discuss porn with your kids and, more to the point, do they talk about it with you?
Tonight’s episode of Insight on SBS brings together a mix of parents and their children (alongside some experts) and achieves something remarkable: it gets them to talk openly.
Charlie Kay, that’s the young fellow in the video above, says pornography taught him far more about sex than any classroom sex-ed discussion. He’s bisexual and said pornography taught him how to approach sex in the first place because no one else ever did. He reckons schools would be better off including frank discussions on porn in the classroom.
Michael Flood, in the second part of the clip, is concerned that watching some sorts of pornography may result in sexist and violent attitudes towards sexual partners. But he uses this argument to push the case for a better class of porn.
Here’s another clip, as a mother and daughter argue their points of view:
The full show airs tonight at 8.30pm, but let’s start the discussion now. What do you think?
And here’s what else is on our radar:
1. You’ve heard enough about Craig Thomson and the ‘did he or didn’t he’ know about the union credit cards used to buy escorts and prostitutes. Well, the Fair Work Australia report has been made public and, well, it’s blunt. “I consider that Mr Thomson used his CBA Mastercard to purchase $330 in escort services from Aboutoun either during his visit to Sydney on 17 February 2003 or while in Perth on 26 February 2003,” said the FWA investigator. Thomson says he didn’t realise the charges were for escort services as they showed as ‘catering’ on the bill.
2. So apparently most cheaters can be found in the wealthier suburbs. But still, we’re trying to get over the fact there is a website for cheaters to find hook-ups.
3. Today is Budget day for the Federal Government. We’ll have more details later but we look to be getting a $1.5 billion surplus.
4. Should circumcision get the chop from Medicare? That’s what the Health Department is asking its expert review panel. But it’s just a question … for now.
5. An Australian study has found sexy pop music videos are having an effect on how young children dress and behave. Believe it or not, researchers from Adelaide studied what children up to Year 7 wore at their school disco and observed whether they were dancing ‘exotically’. The answer was: apparently pop music has a lot to answer for.
Comments
48 Comments so far
I find it really distressing that it’s likely that 100% of males (in the internet generation/s), have seen some kind of porn before they reach 18yrs.
This means that there’s not even a chance that my sons will not have a CHOICE whether to view some kind of pornograpy before they’re emotionally ready. Because which 11, 12, 13, 14yr old has the ‘strength’ to say to their friends, “No, I don’t want to watch/look at that” without fear of being teased?
This is the quote that I liked the most out of that episode of Insight:
“…where is your discovery of something that I discovered in the natural path of growing? It’s almost it’s just exposed to you and you’ve seen… I think that somehow this pornography industry is stealing that away from you and I think all of you have had something stolen because It’s like, here, whether you want it or not, this is what you should be seeing.”
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Perhaps children should be taught of sex before they reach their pre-tween years so they can be prepared for the porn they would be exposed to as well as the pressure from peers to be sexually active.
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Porn for young teenage boys is the equivillent of airbrushed images in the media for women. Complete fantasy. Its natural to be curious as hormones kick in and young adults explore the various aspects of sexuality as caricatured through porn. However, as with airbrushing, they need to understand the unrealistic picture these settings paint and I believe expectations should be discussed and made clear in the open in schools to begin with so young people understand how to properly ‘read’ these types of media from the outset.
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I think sex education is appalling. Having gone to a private catholic girls school it was on reproduction and that was it. We did cover contraception which was surprising but in this day and age with so much information out there and with some parents not even giving their own kids a sex talk, we should be ensuring that at least they are getting educated somewhere, and that tends to fall on schools. Things like relationships, rape, emotions and respect definitely need to be taught somewhere.
Whilst I don’t think porn is where kids should be going for answers, I can understand why they do.
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I am lucky enough to say that Michael Flood was my awesomely awesome lecturer and tutor!
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Can I also add, sex education in schools is about keeping safe, STIs, etc.
It is not about ‘how to do’ sex, and to be honest I don’t think it should be.
That isn’t to say that there isn’t a need for better porn.
Rather than starting teaching how to have sex in highschools, maybe they should address issues the following issues more deeply: respect, how to have a fulfulling relationship, what do do when your girl/boyfriend doesn’t want to or isn’t ready to have sex, what is rape, what is consent etc.
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I never saw any porn as a kid. I think I was maybe 20 or more by the time I saw any on a screen (I’d read soft-porn books before).
I’m glad.
When I started getting sexually active at 18/19 with my then boyfriend, it was a real adventure. We learnt about each other. We weren’t trying to replicate something we had seen on our tvs or laptops.
It was a really personal, lovely, scary, exciting, at-times-painful, fun shared thing.
I wouldn’t change it for the world.
I agree with posters below- you really notice the difference between guys who watch a lot of porn and those who don’t. The one’s who do don’t really care about what you are feeling and try to bend you into crazy positions that they must have seen somewhere before and are trying to copy. It is LAME. And SAD.
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Better sex education is a must. I was VERY shocked when beginning a sexual relationship with my now partner. He genuinely believed that “pulling out” was an effective method of contraception! We are in our early 20′s so didn’t go through school in the dark ages, and he has had well over 10 other sexual partners in varied age groups who hadn’t corrected him!
Whether this is achieved through the use of pornography or not, I don’t mind – although agree with Michael Flood that current pornography does not reflect respectful relationships, so this needs addressing first.
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I think there DOES need to be better sex education.
A number of 15 year old male friends that I have are quite uneducated about sex. It is obvious they get their knowledge from porn. They are particularly uneducated about sex.
I am 15 as well, & I consider myself quite educated, because I have gone out onto the internet and researched. But not many people my age HAVE done so like I have. I think it is particularly important that teenagers get their information from somewhere – either through the internet, (channels like lacigreen on Youtube are excellent) through their parents, and older friend, or through school sexual education. Porn isn’t a good way to learn about this sort of stuff.
I remember my sex ed classes, in Grade 6. All I remember is a lot of giggling. Absolutely useless.
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Excellent promotion of an important issue!
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With 75% of STIs occurring amongst young people it’s time to take action
What are the best ways to improve the way young people access accurate, relevant and positive sexual health information?
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Check out the survey and enter now at http://app.fluidsurveys.com/surveys/ayac/let-s-talk-about-sex/
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You can tell when you sleep with someone if they got their sex education from porn; they tend to see you as a place to inject their semen into. No regard for female pleasure at all! We need better sex education from parents.
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I’ve watched porn by myself. I’ve watched porn with my wife.
If either of us could do any on the things that the “actors” do, for as long as they do….we’d be starring in them instead of watching them on the odd occasion !
Seriously, you learn more about sex by reading the in-cubicle graffiti than watching an erotic thriller in your living room.
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I have never watched any porn at all and I seem to have worked out how to have sex, enjoy it, and make babies as well!
Does this mean I am a genius?
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Yeah I don’t really buy the argument that a lack of sex education leads one to porn. Sex education is about introducing children to the concept of sex, sexual pleasure and reproduction – it’s not a “how to” class. Before porn became mainstream people had nothing to go on but their own personal experiences to work out what they did and didn’t enjoy. It was an exploratory journey and that was the beauty of it. Sexual tastes and preferences are dynamic anyway – they can change as your grow, mature and/or are exposed to different things. The reason young kids access porn is for the same reason that people climb mountains – because it’s there.
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For some reason the ‘like’ thing isn’t showing up.
So here I go…
*LIKE*
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From watching the program last night (and I only caught the last half) it seemed that Charlie was saying that because there was a lack of sex education in his school, he went to pron because he wanted to know more about sex and that was the only avenue where he felt he was getting answers.
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If you took all the world’s water and made it into a ball, how big would that ball be?
http://ga.water.usgs.gov/edu/2010/gallery/global-water-volume.html
(Off topic nerd post of the day)….
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Cool ! ! !
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Wow. I thought that there was lots more water in the world.
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if there was more water, your yard would be muddier
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Loving the blog topic hijack! Hilarious.
(And amazing that so little water.)
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That was a guy?
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Not sure if you’re serious or trying to be funny but yes.
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What makes me laugh is how many people have no idea who Craig Thomson is, but who know that the CIA fund the Australian Greens to make up climate change.
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You really think that people don’t know who Craig Thomson is and what his main claim to fame is ?
I think that both you and Craig are trying to kid us.
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I mention it as a terrible reflection on society, a truth seemingly ignored, while a falsehood on the lips of many.
In casual conversation, I mention Thomson and the HSU only to be met with blank stares, it’s happened more times than I would have thought possible, considering the coverage.
I don’t understand your second sentence, are you suggesting I’m trying to dismiss the allegations against Thomson or that I’m in cahoots with him? I think you’re reading my comment with one eye, Bradley.
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ID….I would never accuse you of being in cahoots with Craig Thomson !
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What did you mean then?
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I meant that I didn’t (from my experiences) think that many people were unaware of the Thomson affair and that more would take a comment from Clive Palmer with a grain of salt.
Personally, I’d say that today I’ll be speaking with more people who believe that the budget will deliver a surplus than with people who have given the Greens/CIA caper a single thought.
And I doubt that I be speaking to many who believe that the budget will deliver a surplus……that includes the resident office lefties. When they aren’t brimming with confidence, then neither am I.
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Troll alert!
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Where ???????
You obviously have never read the numerous conversations that Idle Dad and I have had on this site.
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Meh on the kids dancing provocatively article.
I loved The Goodies as a kid. I bought a best of DVD for my kids and the first time I watched it with my kids I was horrified. Sexual innuendo, sexism up the wazoo and non-PC depictions of race. The kids miss it all, they just roll around on the floor laughing at the slapstick.
Kids love dancing. They copy what they see. So they pout? It means nothing to them except a bucket load of giggles.
Kids having fun, but not fun in exactly the right way someone somewhere would like! Gosh, what a story!
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I had the same experience with the Goodies- I remembered a being awesomely funny from my childhood, but my jaw was on the floor when I played it for my daughter. Did we really watch that?!? That was allowed on 5:30pm???!!
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I recently did that! I loved watching The Goodies and Monty Python with my dad (a Brit-com freak) from a really young age. I recently re-watched them and nearly fell off my chair Me and my siblings were laughing at the slapstick and, to be honest, when my parents laughed.
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Kids need good, realistic porn. Not 95% of what is out there.
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It looks like James Bracey was indeed making the ‘blow job’ gesture, THEN realised he was on camera and tried to cover it up as a cough. Badly, I might add.
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Damn straight! Can’t believe The Project tried to pass it off as a ‘cough’…cough cough!
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Routine Circumcision should be completely illegal. If its not okay for little girls, why the hell is it okay for our sweet little boys? All children should protected from harm. They’re born perfect – lets leave them that way.
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im not saying you aren’t correct that it should not be done – but – male and female circumcision are two very different procedures with very different degrees of risk.
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… and are done for very different reasons with completely different results.
I believe that it’s ridiculous to even use the same word (circumcision) to describe two such different procedures. It’s like comparing removing an ingrown toenail to leg amputation.
A male foreskin is about as necessary as an appendix (ie not at all) and the removal has absolutely no adverse effect upon sexual function (as my extremely functional husband would testify!)
Whereas female “circumcision” entails removing the clitoris and often also the labia minora, with the deliberate intention of removing the woman’s ability to enjoy sex / orgasm. It is genital mutilation.
How can the two procedures possibly be compared, let alone be given the same name?!
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They’re both useless mutilation, that is how they can possibly be compared.
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I can assure you that neither my husband nor I consider him to be “mutilated”.
I personally far prefer it, and my husband is very happy with it too.
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I think I’ll decide if the skin of my penis is necessary or not! Between you and me, we are very attached.
All jokes aside, I agree: male circumcision can be a legitimate medical solution to some problems with boys as they enter puberty. I’m pretty sure female circumcision has never been proposed by a doctor as a solution to a medical problem.
I think calling it ‘female circumcision’ is like calling outsourced torture ‘extraordinary rendition’ or calling the Lybian intervention last year ‘limited kinetic action’ instead of war. It’s word spin to make it seem like it is something it is not.
My two cents (as the uncut minority) is that I have no objection to circumcision being covered by medicare.
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In my experience, uncut is not a minority. It’s about 50/50 for men born in the 70s and 80s…
I’ve always thought I’ll leave the decision up to the dad if I have a son… but as time goes on I think I’ll fight for him to remain untouched.
I believe that if boys weren’t meant to have foreskins they wouldn’t be born with them (medical conditions excluded).
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Unless circumcision is being performed because of an actual diagnosed condition, then yes, it’s elective and shouldnt be covered by Medicare.
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Then vaccination shouldn’t be covered by medicare??
Vaccine is an intervention, a prophylaxis against disease, right?
Circumcision is the same thing.
Particularly when talking about the HPV vaccine – it’s a vaccine against a sexually transmitted disease that is implicated in female cervical cancer. Circumcision has scientific evidence of being a prophylaxis against sexually transmitted disease in the male and also against his spreading disease.
(And before people say “oh if you use proper hygiene it shouldn’t spread disease” about circumcision – you can say exactly the same thing about HPV. Safe sex practices will prevent HPV as well.)
So, if Medicare doesn’t cover circumcision, should Medicare/the government programs cover HPV vaccination of children?
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Female circumcision is done usually for religious and cultural purposes. In reality, the female is mutilated to stop them from getting sexual pleasure and therefore reducing her chance of cheating on his husband.
Male circumcision is done for religious purposes as well although it does NOT take away him getting sexual pleasure. There are also other reasons such as hygiene reasons that have been proven in many studies.
There is a huge difference between then two. Very few true “western” cultures believe or perform female circumcision.
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HPV can still be passed on when safe sex practices such as condoms are used as it can be passed via skin-on-skin contact of the areas around the condom-protected area. the only way to protect from HPV is abstinance (which is an unrealistic measure) as there is no test currently for men who are the carrier.
More information at http://www.health.gov.au/internet/immunise/publishing.nsf/Content/immunise-hpv
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