By JAMILA RIZVI
Yesterday morning, Jeremy Fernandez was subjected to a torrent of horrific and public abuse because of the colour of his skin. And it all happened in front of his 2-year-old daughter.
The ABC newsreader was traveling through the inner western suburbs of Sydney with his toddler, when an older child who was sitting behind them on the bus began pinching his daughter repeatedly.
Jeremy put his arm around his daughter to shield her from the harmless but no doubt, incredibly annoying series of pinches. But the child behind them simply switched targets and began pinching Jeremy. After the frustration grew too much, Jeremy turned around and explained – quietly and politely – “that was my arm”.
What happened next is enough to make your stomach turn. Jeremy recounts:
ABC newsreader, Jeremy Fernandez
The girl’s mother asked what was going on, and I told her what had happened. She denied her daughter had even touched me…
She began hurling abuse and accused me of reaching behind our seats and touching her daughter.
Of course, I had not done anything of the sort. This accusation hit me pretty hard…
As the woman’s rant continued, I did argue back, telling her she was a piece of work for even talking like this in front of children. She raised a fist to my face, and threatened to drag me off the bus if I didn’t move…
I used my phone to record the tail end of the woman’s rant, while she got her phone out to take photographs of me. She muttered threats, saying that she knew where I lived and would round up a few men to show me a lesson.
You can read a full account of Jeremy’s experience here.
One other passenger on the bus did try and step in to defend Jeremy but to no avail.
The other passengers stayed silent.
When Jeremy got off the bus at his own stop, he said to the driver – a European migrant himself – that it would have been nice to have him step in. The driver simply told Jeremy that he and his daughter should have moved seats.
What struck me most about this story was not the failure of others to come to Jeremy’s aid, nor the extent of the woman’s deeply fueled racial hate, nor the sad response of the bus driver, who you might hope would have felt some kind of duty to assist.
What struck me most about this story was that it unfolded in the presence of children.
Jamila Rizvi.
As a child, I honestly don’t remember ever having experienced or witnessed racism.
I have absolutely no doubt that I did. My mother is a Catholic-raised woman with skin that can’t even catch a hint of sun without turning from snow white to bright red and my father is an Indian man whose Muslim family migrated to this country before the abolition of the White Australia policy. Their marriage, while perhaps not remarkable today, was highly unusual then.
I am sure – and as an adult I’ve been told – that of course there were instances of racism from strangers, as well as family and friends, at various points in my childhood. But I don’t remember them. And it’s a tribute to my parents that I was so carefully shielded from it.
I remember asking mum one day why dad’s skin was a different colour to mum’s and why my sister and I were a different colour again. We were watching an Art Attack video at the time, so mum simply explained that when you mix a dark colour with a light colour, you get a different colour that is somewhere in the middle.
I took that explanation 100% on face value and that’s where my questions ended.
Because children don’t hate. Not until they are taught to, anyway.
Nobody is born hating another because of the colour of their skin. Nor are we born hating another because of their race, their religion, their gender, their ability or disability, or their sexual preference.
Hate is something we teach each other. And it is something that parents teach their kids.
At least two children witnessed the cruel and hate-filled abuse of Jeremy Fernandez, but probably many more.
His own daughter will no doubt grow up strong, resiliant and rightfully proud of the colour of her own and her father’s skin. I imagine, she will also grow up painfully aware that there are some who will think her pride is misplaced.
The child of the woman who was responsible for the abuse, will grow up scared of difference, intolerant of diversity and with a sense of entitlement to her place in this country that is built on believing that others do not deserve the same.
So what? They’re not your kids right? You would never abuse a stranger, you’d never made a racist slur, you wouldn’t even giggle at a racist joke. But would you have been the one other person on that bus who stepped in to defend Jeremy?
Perhaps not.
But you should be. We all should be.
Because even when it’s scary, even when you think it’s none of your business, even when you think it might be better if you stayed out of it - remember that your children are watching too.
Be the one who stands up for what’s right. Because I promise you, that your kids will remember.
Comments
201 Comments so far
I am white and was married to a chinese man. The amount of racism i saw and heard towards white people and aboriginals was disgusting. They would always turn around and say to me “oh but you’re different”. So lets not forget racism exists everywhere and within all cultures and we shouldn’t tar everyone with the same brush!
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For a country claiming to be ‘multicultural’, on the whole we are as racist as they come. The number of slurs I hear about Asians, Indians, Arabs, Aboriginals (you name it) is unbelievable. What surprises me is that these racists actually think that I want to hear it- assuming that I agree?!? These ‘people’ make me sick.
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HI
The bogans who behaved horribly in the story are bullies, pure and simple. I’m sure they’d pick on anyone different. And bullies… well, they’re dumb and nasty and really I wish we could lock them up and keep them away from normal people. Cos they’re not normal, they’re actually crazy.
Tomorrow is National Day of Action Against Bullying and Violence. Wear orange.
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It’s a strange and sad situation we’re in, this.
Remember last year’s “I’ll box-cutter you right now” incident, with the young French woman on the bus? Few of her fellow passengers said much at the time, some — including he who filmed it, if I recall — fearing an escalation of events.
Indeed, it’s something Jamila should have acknowledged and Jeremy did: “No one [but the man who told the idiot to stop] said anything, and for that I have no resentment. Any further outside involvement risked escalating the situation.”
Maybe a simple “Are you alright, mate?” at Jeremy would have been better than the bold heroics you imagine? An expression of support to keep things calm, letting him know he’s not alone?
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Sorry but I fail to see how this was a racially motivated attack. There are annoying kids on buses. There are rude, vile parents of annoying kids on buses. They don’t necessarily discriminate when being annoying, rude or vile. From what I’ve read there was no reference made to Jeremy or his child’s race. Or did I miss something?
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That’s because Jimila left out the bit where the woman called him a “black c*nt.”
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Jamila,
Given some of your comments on some political matters and some of your opinions, I’m not at all surprised that you didn’t know this sort of thing happened. You need to get out more and go to places you normally wouldn’t go. I suggest the west of Sydney, into ALP heartland where you can hear this sort of thing on every train and bus every day experienced by real working class people, the ALP elite that you seem to admire so much don’t go out there either, so when you get together to back slapping and high five your comrades in an atmosphere where you have no chance of hearing a dissenting view, just remember that your real power base, the people who vote for the ALP, are a bunch of racist wankers.
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Anon, what a ridiculous comment. According to your logic, the leafy suburbs of Sydney would be welcoming to people of colour. I DOUBT IT! They’d be very concerned about property prices dropping!
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Jessica Tana’s comment below reminds me of an incident that happened last year. My Mum and I got onto a bus where the bus driver appeared to be from India. Further down the route, a man wanted to get on and was trying to stall the bus for his friend to get on. Now I think from what I could hear/see that the bus driver was reluctant to wait (because he HAS to stick to a schedule – it’s his JOB!). Anyway the man and his friend got on after a minute or so… (?) Then the abuse started. The threats and the filthy, racist language that I would never want any of my friends to hear. Even thinking about it now makes me angry and so sad. This man said the bus driver was an animal (I won’t go into specifics, it doesn’t bear repeating in detail) and threatened his life. I have always been a bit scared of confrontation but I got so mad. So angry at this disgusting behaviour. I told him to stop and he replied saying he would say what he wanted, and I simply replied no. He ended up sitting at the back of the bus with his friend – and got off later without incident. My Mum and other passengers that were elderly told me that I was wrong to speak up like that. I shouldn’t have said anything they said. They were worried that he could come and get aggressive or hit me. They were too scared to say a word to this passenger, BUT these other passengers did agree that the bus driver should have called security and that the passenger wasn’t right to do that. The bus driver also said nothing to defend himself even though he has the right to. Now maybe some people would say I was wrong… but I don’t regret it and I would do it again. Surely it’s wrong to always stand nearby and watch other people be abused and threatened and do nothing. We have to better than that. Kids at school are being taught to stand up to bullies when they see a fellow class mate or friend getting bullied. If children are being taught in schools to not stand idly by then why are adults standing idly by??
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The child of the woman who was responsible for the abuse, will grow up scared of difference, intolerant of diversity and with a sense of entitlement to her place in this country that is built on believing that others do not deserve the same.
My dad was and still is a racist, small minded, homophobic, bigot. Even as a small child, while I didn’t have the words, he made me cringe with his rants. I have grown up challenging him, and questioning all the nonsense he tried to impart on us kids. I am proud of the fact that I am nothing like him and certainly don’t share even a hint of his views despite his pretty active, albeit often, subconscious campaign to the contrary. I credit my great friends and great schooling. A parents “teachings” can only go so far.
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Besides crediting your great friends and school, credit yourself too, girl! You’ve got a strong nature and you’re a truth teller and I’d say you’re probably a little bit brighter than your dad. I like you a lot!
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I recently saw a few videos on what they call ‘the bystander effect’. It really made me think…..that normal every day people could do nothing in situations where people need help, simply because those around them also do nothing. What does it say about our society?
I wish we could press a restart button and start fresh with societal values such as caring, mutual concern and community spirit. But alas we will have to do it the hard way and make a difference through finding likeminded souls reaching out to one another and caring together, until we form a world wide network of care. Escalating global social and economic pressures are only going to amplify our differences.
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I was in a racial battle on the streets on Northbridge, Perth a couple of weeks ago. Two 40 something white men were looking for a fight and our rag tag bunch of eccentric, multiracial, multisexual people was perfect ammo to inflame their hatred.
I went nuts-I saw red-every metaphor you can think of.
I stood in front of these bearded, singlet (with Eureka stockade flag print) wearing dudes and their big arms and gave just what they were.
They hurled racial abuse, tried to fight my brother, told me I had small tits, that I was disgusting, That I should go home (hilarious as I was born in country Australia), told me not to touch them (I pushed one off my brother) etc etc
And I couldn’t let it go, I just abused them back (stupid, ugly, racist, etc), they said if others weren’t here they would slit my throat-the situation was escalating.
Moral of this story-my friends agreed I was in the wrong.
If they had beaten one of us up, or stabbed or raped, it would be my fault.
I was prepared to get hurt, but chances are they would beat up my friends not me.
I still struggle to see it this way. I believe in ‘not letting the racists feel they have a right” but my brother told me whatever stops the fight is right. Violence is the worst outcome, and if walking away stops violence, then it is the right move.
So I am somebody who steps in, and would have defended Jeremy, but what if that led to me punching the mother in the face, in front of her kid. What is Jeremy’s kid got hurt? What if we all did?
Sometimes it’s harder to walk away-it hurts our pride-our moral right.
To be honest, I probably still wouldn’t walk away.
But it does stop the situation. If Jeremy had moved seats his daughter wouldn’t have seen the situation and there would have been a much smaller situation.
Food for thought.
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Sadly, I know exactly how this feels. We moved to Townsville 10 years ago, my kids are of greek islander descent and I work in Aboriginal Health… because both my kids are very dark, it is always assumed that they are Aboriginal which they are pretty chuffed about… But the racist comments and treatment they experience is unbelievable – grown adults have told them that they should “know their place” and directed them to the back of a queue behind other “white” kids at events. I’ve been called a “filthy coon lover” in front of them. Even my in-laws (my first husband passed away a long time ago) have had to be asked on several occassions to please keep their opinions to themselves while my kids are around as they make CONSTANT jokes and comments about “blacks”, “coons” etc… it is endless. I personally stand my ground and I have never, to this day, corrected anyone on my kids’ nationality or race. Why? ‘Cos the colour of their skin has nothing to do with it and they could just as easily have been born Aboriginal and they should be able to wear their own skin with pride. I hope I’ve taught them how to deal with it, sadly though, even at their age, they will tell you that they are used to it. The “N” word is commonplace at school and they have even had other kids tell them that their parents won’t allow them to invite black kids to their birthday parties. Racism is a whole lot worse than people like to believe.
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As a teen I had a close friend who one day in discussion mentioned that she was adopted. ‘Really? You’re adopted??’ I said. She looked at me oddly then said ‘Um, yes, haven’t you noticed my parents are white and French and I’m, like, Fijiian?’
Honest to God, I hadn’t even noticed she was a different skin colour to me, let alone a different race. Or that her parents were different to her. I was mortified with embarrassment when I realised but I now as a parent myself I think perhaps my parents did a good job at making race a non-issue when it came to us making friends as kids. I hope I do as good a job.
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A little off topic, but Jamila, I think you might have the nicest eyes I have ever seen!
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I have been in the most loving, amazing relationship with the most perfect man on earth for about two years. Recently he said something that really shook me to the core.
His father is Caribbean and his mother is white. Both my parents are white. And to be completely honest, none of this had ever occurred to me really before. Who cares, right?
But then the other night, when we were talking about how hard it was for his dad to immigrate in the 1970′s because he stood out so much, he said “And the worst part is, it’s not like it’s much better now. At some point in your life, someone will make you feel bad that we’re a mixed race couple.” And I was floored. Because I realised he is probably right. But I had never ever even considered that before. I am me and he is him and that’s that. Who cares what colour our skins are?
To hear myself referred to as a ‘mixed race couple,’ was my first experience of what racism feels like. It was a much lesser extreme than what so many other people experience but it still felt weird all the same. I don’t want to be put into that little box and judged by that, but I will be.
And then he told me about how people would stare and sometimes make comments to his mum when she was out with him as a child, because she is white and he is darker. And then my boy pointed out that people will probably make judgements on our children too. And that made me so overwhelmingly sad because it is simply not fair.
Just as it’s not fair that Jeremy should have to teach his little girl to be strong in the face of horrible people like the woman on the bus. I live in hope that this world will be nicer and more accepting for the next generation of children.
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“I have been in the most loving, amazing relationship with the most perfect man on earth for about two years”
Love your opening line – brought tears to my eyes:)
I hope the experience of future generations is far less confronting, well ideally non-existant, but the reality is, that there will always be people scared about anything (anyone) ‘different’ they will feel threatened somehow…..that and people being willing to stand up to revolting comments like that and tell those ignorants how wrong they are.
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You’d think the woman in question who was so ‘offended’ by Jeremy would have come forward with her ‘side’. Of course, as with most people with such narrow and backward opinions, when they see they are truly outnumbered, then they shut-up and sit down. Think she’s sharing (boasting?) with her friends and family that she’s the racist in question? I’d like to think, thanks to this brush with ‘fame’ it will make her think twice before abusing the next person she consideres to be imperfect thanks to their appearance, I’d like to think so……………but I doubt it.
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I wonder whether this incident was less about race and more about a rude, ignorant, angry woman.
I do hate it that when these sorts of incidents happen and race comes into the torrent of abuse, the media seem to always jump on them as if this has exposed a vein of underlying racism hidden beneath a veneer of superficial tolerance in suburban Australia. Like Jamila, I never experienced or observed that growing up. I would be inclined to think that this is just an example of an exceptionally rude person with a horrible temper. Such people are always on the lookout for a good fight and she would probably have loved nothing better than for the bus driver and/or other passengers to buy into the argument. I can understand, in this instance, their reluctance to get involved and having been in a similar situation with my own little boy and an abusive woman, I think refusing to fight is a far more effective weapon against someone who would love nothing better!
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The scariest thing to me about this is that it happened in front of children who might grow up to think this is acceptable behaviour and continue the pattern. I’m not sure, but is racism a learned behaviour? I had the benefit of growing up with parents who taught me about racism from an early age and why it was wrong. I’ve also been lucky to have lived in many foreign countries and become close friends with people from all sorts of backgrounds and cultures. I think part of the problem is that many people from all backgrounds (it’s not exclusive to one group of people) have not had these experiences and fall back on racism as a lazy way to analyze the world and release anger about a particular problem they are having. I’m not sure if schools now teach children about racism, but I hope that this is a well-supported part of the curriculum so that this pattern of racism may be broken and is not passed from generation to generation. Then our children are more likely to experience and benefit from the richness of cultural diversity and make many strong and lasting friendships that are based not on cultural similarity but on personality and interests.
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I have been witness to a number of both racist and sexist, comments since we moved to a large regional town, even at school, down the street and in organisations that are suposed to be understanding of children of all races. This is particularly offensive, as many it children love to repeat statements that their cherished leaders – be it any sport, or community groups. I am more than happy to point out that people are people, regardless of their colour – but it doesn’t seem enough…
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Sadly, I’m not shocked – this is a country where I still get “complimented” on my “good English” despite having spoken it and having lived here all my life. In shops, I get referred to the as the “Asian girl” when I am being served (in contrast, having spent time in the States, noone there would ever use the phrase “black girl” when serving someone). People are very quick to insist they are not prejudiced, but they see me through a racial lens, as different.
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Are you sure about that? There was a scandal not that long ago about the waiter who wrote on the bill that it was for the table with the “fat girls”. That was in a restaurant in the US….
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‘fat girls’ is not ‘black/asian/mexican’ girls. it’s not singling out the customer by their race.
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lol, so it’s ok as long as its not about race.
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It’s singling them out in another, but no less insulting, category. In any case, a person of asian appearance has an asian heritage, and ethnicity is used, among other things, to describe physical appearance. So if one is waiting to be served at a shop and the assistant happens to refer to them as ‘Asian’, I hardly think this is can be classed as ‘racism’.
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Being a blonde girl on a western sydney train – I have to say have copped a racial slam or five… which makes me really sad to think that I am considered to be a “bogan” or uneducated or white trash, were they expecting me to dish it right back?
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What a revolting thing to have to endure. People are just disgusting. One of the many reasons I hate public transport and public hospitals. Full of racist white trash bogans. Just have to say I’ve had a huge crush on Jeremy for ages. He is gorgeous!! I love watching the ABC news!! Thankgod for multiculturalism so that there are many different types of people in Australia to perv on
Nothing more boring than an all white society.
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People who call others derogatory names, think their superior. Calling people white trash bogans, you are just as bad as people who are racist.
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I know, I know, They’re, not their.
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Couldn’t agree more. I detest the term bogan.
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Why?
Bogan: an individual who is recognised to be from an unsophisticated background or someone whose limited education, speech, clothing, attitude and behaviour exemplifies a lack of manners and education.
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How do you know someone is “bogan” or not though. I’m from an area that would be classed low socio-economic, didn’t go to uni, my clothes are nothing special, but I don’t deserved to be labelled a derogatory name. Simple as that. People who call others “bogan” only do so to make themselves feel superior, when in fact you’re not. You are no better than the next person.
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You know someone is a bogan by recognising all the things Anonymous 1 listed!
Don’t worry, everyone’s a little bit bogan. Some people just embrace it more.
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Any label applied to a person that casts a slur on them due to their ethnicity is, by definition, racism. Therefore, “white trash” is a racist term and just as objectionable.
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Laura, you just said racism is disgusting and then you were racist.
If you understand how awful it is to receive it, why would you do it to someone else?
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“One of the many reasons I hate public transport and public hospitals. Full of racist white trash bogans. ”
I have experienced people making weird comments on buses and trains, but “Full of racist white trash bogans”? Nah.
What a foolish comment. You do realise that is as inaccurate as anything one of the racist white trash bogans that overwhelm our public transport system might come out with, don’t you?
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As a Anglo woman married to an aboriginal man with 1 child we are experience racism daily. Remarks are normally generalised views of “they dont work, filthy, get over it, they are their own worst enemy, the list is incredibly long”. I enter a full debate and challenge said public statements – my husband rarely does. When I probed way – he said after 30 years you just get used it to. The extraordinary thing I have said to people at my workplace for example “don’t say that my husband and son are aboriginal” and they will reply “but Adam is normal why can’t all aboriginals just be like that”. My rant varies from media representations of aboriginals, to assimilation or the Anglo homeless man they walked past to ask him why he is “normal”. The day my son was born we announced my sons name etc. a dear friend accidentally sent me a text message saying she couldn’t believe we used a “coon” name. I will never know who was suppose to be the recipient we were devastated on the happiest day of our life, just on Australia Day I had another friend Facebook rant about invasion day on Australia Day needless to say neither are my friends anymore! but the real kicker we brought an old run down beach shack and completed an extensive renovation. The day the kitchen guy finished after spending 30k with him he said “geeze did coons own this house” I asked him if he liked what we done he loved the Reno etc i politely told him we brought the house of white people and take a good look because this is an aboriginal home. And swiftly kicked him out.
For me the hardest thing is I lived in a naive bubble prior to meeting Adam that skin colour didn’t matter but racism is rife an the hatered and views held by many of our indigenous people’s is mortifying
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I guess I must live in the same bubble you used to inhabit.
It’s hard reading the above, and believing that people have actually said those things to you.
Everyone can THINK what ever they want, but fancy saying/texting those things.
I’m glad you stand up for your family.
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Elisha, I’m so sorry you and your family have to deal with this outrageous and unacceptable behaviour. I’m dumbfounded that we are still living in a world with so much hate.
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I’m so sorry to hear about your experiences, Elisha. The racism against Indigenous people in Australia is horrifying and disgusting. Even worse is how “acceptable” it is in society to make stupid, baseless, nasty comments, even to strangers! Good on you for standing up for what is right.
My partner was born in China and I get the “oh I don’t mean xxx, he’s Aussie” thing – it makes me so mad, my partner is proud of his heritage (as he should be!) and I know it makes him feel like he has to ‘prove wrong’ everyone he meets and disown his heritage to “fit in”. Plus it’s just freaking racist, even if it’s not directed at my partner! Grrr I hate it!
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That’s so heart breaking. I must be really sheltered because I didn’t even know that people still used the word ‘coon’. It’s so undignified. For the people using it I mean, it’s just a nasty word.
At the end of the day you have what sounds like a beautiful and loving family. The perfect up yours to the haters. x
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Unfortunately I know how rife that disgusting attitude is.
In my WORKPLACE of all f****** places I’ve heard loud,open discussions of filthy racist talk. The comments and attitudes I’ve witnessed have really hurt me, and I expected more of people who I once admired.
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I had disturbing incident yesterday that I can’t get off my mind. I was in a boutique in Paddington and a young heavily tattooed guy (was I judging ?) swaggered in pushing people out of the way and talking incredibly loudly on his mobile phone. I thought does he own this place ? Genuinely. It was weird behaviour that drew attention. People had to get out of his way as he weaved through the shop. A voice from outside goes he’s staring at you, that Jew.
Cue the Kardashian clone girlfriend with large handbag. My observations were :
- the guy was rude and everyone turned to look
- I would never have identified the other customer as a “Jew”, he was just a guy in the shop
- I then responded by classifying the loud mouthed guy and his girlfriend as Arabic or Muslim
Without the slurs I would not have classified anyone by race, but I started to put people in boxes because of racial slurs
It was an awful situation and the Jewish guy’s girlfriend and I were going “what the “, not really understanding what had happened. I hated that it made me look at all of these people through racial glasses.
In that instance it wasn’t worth taking on an angry young male, as there was no further abuse, but I have to say as a white Irish catholic who doesn’t cop to much prejudice it was confronting to see racism at such close quarters.
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I’m confused!
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too funny
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I didn’t understand anything you wrote.
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Yes, it’s shocking to experience this for the first time when (like me) you’ve largely been spared these encounters thanks to your ethnic origin.
I had honesty never experienced anything of the sort growing up in regional Australia (despite a large migrant population in the area), until I travelled.
So yes, I get that your first experience with ‘proper’ racism is a shock.
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A few years ago I was on a train one evening and there was a young girl of what looked like an Indian ethnicity being abused by some drugged up idiot who was calling her a “mud puppy” amongst other horrible things. She wouldn’t have been any older than about 15 or 16 and was becoming visibly upset and very afraid.
My issue was that there were other other men, burly types even, who could have put this guy down in an instant and yet it was ME who finally did something. I basically had to put myself between the girl and this idiot and protect her with my own body. I shouted at him and gave him a few choice bits of advice of my own (in the only language that he understood, it seemed) and ended up shoving him off the train at the next station at the last minute. I actually held the door closed as the train moved off again.
What made me truly ill was that I got approving looks and comments from the MEN who sat there and did nothing while this girl was attacked and while I was putting myself in possible danger to protect her.
I politely told them they could eff themselves for being gutless and looked after the young miss until she got to her stop. I also waited with her while her parents came to pick her up. They were grateful that someone had helped their daughter.
I would do it again, happily. This sort of rubbish should NEVER be encouraged through apathy or fear.
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To all those bigots, take note this is a true ‘Australian’!! Thankyou renlish people like you make thsi world tick.
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While I think what you did was incredible, brave and very commendable, I do have to disagree with the undercurrent of your post. It’s not big, burly men’s responsibility to curb this kind of behaviour – it’s all of ours.
It’s not just men who are able to help in these situations, as proven and evidenced by your own behaviour. Let’s stop perpetuating that myth.
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YOU – Are a star
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personally I think both people are to blain here. I kind of agree with the bus driver – he could have moved. No aggessioon required. maybe the people on the bus saw the other side of it and held both of the adults in disdain for carrying on like that. As for pulling his phone out to record the incident – red flag to a bull.
Disgraceful. And people will not step in if they do not know what went down to start with.
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He was going to move and then she started a vicious racist attack and dragged out the c word. He stayed to let the bully know he wasn’t going to be pushed around. Sometimes it’s worth standing up (or sitting down in this case) and saying this behaviour is unacceptable and I won’t be bullied. It was brave.
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I disagree 100%. Why on earth should he move? He should NEVER give his daughter the impression that she or he are second class citizens because of their colour and that they should just bow down to the demands of racists.
I suppose Rosa Parks (black civil activist who refused to give up her seat on a bus for a white person) should have moved to so as not to cause trouble?
I’m tired of the belief that racist bigots can say whatever they want whilst those who hold the ethical stance (i.e. NOT racist) should have to “take the higher ground” and not say anything. Why should we be quiet? People need to know that this kind of crap is NOT acceptable and will NOT be tolerated.
Good on him!
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Surely you’re kidding?
The woman’s daughter was actually teasing Jeremy’s daughter and actually ended up flicking HIS arm instead of his daughter’s. He had gently told the woman’s daughter to be careful which prompted this woman’s tirade against Jeremy, including calling him a dirty, black paedophile.
Hello? Firstly, mind what your OWN child is doing and for two…
Why in heaven’s name should he move? All that would do is show BOTH children that to cower in the face of BS like this is to encourage it and that it’s acceptable behaviour. That woman would have gone home boasting about how she scared the “dirty black man” into moving – and there would be another child indoctrinated into the world of bigotry and racism.
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Hear hear!
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Unless of course, you are worried about the safety of your children around this woman who is trying to drag someone off a bus.
We all hear of stories of people being abused after getting off the bus and that is something I definately do not want my 2 and 4 year old to witness happening to their mummy.
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I’d rather my children witness me having my arse kicked standing up for myself than have them see me shutup and submit to the abuse and demands of a racist lunatic. Never, no matter what the cost, will I teach my kids to quietly turn the other cheek. I will always show them that right is right and wrong is wrong and it is always worth the “trouble” of fighting for.
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Recently at the rally in hyde park, a woman was questioned by police and even the family services intervened, as she had her child hold an obnoxious placard. Will the same now happen to this ‘lady’, as she is teaching abuse, violence and hatred to her child?
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Uh, yeah, I think the whole national outcry, turning yourself into police, etc gives a fairly strong idea that yes, this was treated with the exact same disdain.
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I moved to Asia when I was young, and many, many times I was on the receiving end of racism. Many times. I am a blonde caucasian.
In fact, I got so used to it, I thought it was normal. When I got older, and would try to discuss it with the ‘real’ residents of the Asian countries I lived in as opposed to the ‘foreigners’ like myself who, because of my white skin, and despite being able to speak the language fluently and having lived there for a significant amount of my life, I was told numerous times that racism is what white people do to Asian people. I was told that Asian people are not racist. Funny, that wasn’t my experience there nor the experiences of my black expat friends. How they were treated there? Wow! You should ask them what it was like to walk down the streets and be taunted with monkey sounds from local kids. Every day.
Having come back to live in Australia, all I am going to say is that having been racially bullied in Asia, I am now super sensitive to any racism.
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It does bother me that people say you can’t be racist against white people. The 2 most racist people I know are Armenian and are horrible towards Asians. Like, really horrible. They also talk about how horrible white Australians are sometimes, Really upsets me. One time, I was talking about Asian places that arent considered asian (e,g armenia) and they went on a vicious attack telling me off and even spitting. I was like WTF.
I feel like I would have stepped up, but I also kind of feel the person should have walked away, as this woman sounded a bit sick in the head, and they were with their kid. On their own, of course, say what you want. But I think people need to teach their kids to walk away from confrontation.
I’ll also admit this, even though its horrible. Im much less likely to stand up for a man, than I am to stand up for another woman or elderly man/woman.
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I experienced the same thing in Italy, got treated rudely and often ignored in shops rather than being served, one lady at the pool flicked water in my face, all because I didn’t speak Italian.
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One of the most disturbing aspects of this was her accusation of inappropriate (sexual?) behaviour against her child.
If she meant it, it was perplexing, and if she did not mean it, but used it as a weapon against him…truly appalling.
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… yet it has been argued by many on here time and again that false reporting is so rare as to not even be worth acknowledging.
Not every male who has this type of opportunistic smear directed at him is a national news presenter that is believed as credible unfortunately. Usually the mud sticks in some shape or form.
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Accusing someone face to face of harming their child is vastly different to coming forward to one’s peers, police, sexual assault clinic staff, etc on behalf of either one’s child or oneself. Trauma, assumed lack of belief by others, fear of opening old wounds, PTSD, fear of victim-blaming and fear of judgement for ‘allowing’ assault to be inflicted on your child are all powerful inhibitors to reporting.
Given how thoroughly sexual assault cases are investigated and the rigorous process undergone to get cases to trial in Australia, I know I’d personally rather be the subject of false allegations than trying to seek justice.
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Can we keep this on topic? The whole ordeal sounds arduous, and my heart goes out to Jeremy and BOTH children, because racially-motivated violence is a reality for people of colour, and unfortunately seems likely to be perpetuated in the white child’s upbringing.
And while I doubt this woman will go to the police, it seems unlikely that on zero evidence (or bus security footage to the contrary) the case would ever go to trial for Jeremy to ever be falsely convicted of assault. Accusing someone face to face of harming their child is vastly different to the ordeal coming forward to one or all of: one’s peers, police, medical staff, sexual assault clinicians/counsellors, etc on behalf of either one’s child or oneself. Trauma, assumed lack of belief by others, fear of opening old wounds, PTSD, fear of victim-blaming and fear of judgement for ‘allowing’ assault to be inflicted on your child are all powerful inhibitors to reporting.
Given how thoroughly sexual assault cases are investigated and the rigorous process undergone to get cases to trial in Australia (figures vary with studies on how few sexual assault cases treated by sexual assault clinics are even the basis of charges pressed, go to trial, and are successfully convicted), but I know I’d personally rather be the subject of false allegations than trying to seek justice.
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At least, being a credible high profile media type, his version has been believed against the woman. Most ‘Joe Blow’ blokes don’t get the same treatment when allegations of this sort are thrown around.
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It is amazing how many stories there have been of violent and horrible women directing their anger at males and females on public transport recently. Maybe Australian should now say no to violence by anyone against anyone, as that message seems to be getting lost for some reason (god knows why)
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Great article – just a heads up on editing a spelling error in one of the last few paragraphs: “resilient”. Thought I’d point out for the grammar and spelling buffs out there!
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As an immigrant myself, I absolutely would’ve stepped up myself to defend Jeremy. At all costs. So would I in any other case. And there have been people who stood up for me ever since when I moved here with my family when I was 14. We paid the government too much money to take any crap from anyone or be treated as second class citizens.
I will never see someone being abused and not say anything. Be it racial abuse or just any other. If you cannot treat a fellow human being with respect, you’re absolutely getting it from me. I’m pretty intolerant to bad behaviour.
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I’m a step up and say something person too. If I’d seen it happen, I’d have happily dobbed on the kid to Mum and told her to pull her head in.
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As a side issue, I’ve witnessed many parents flatly deny any wrong doing by their children (I’m a Primary School Teacher). Sometimes to the point of being overly aggressive and all in front of their children. Parents and adults are always modelling behaviours, thoughts and actions that kids soak up like a sponge…..
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Defend Jeremy from a lunatic – are you serious? Once he realised she had a few screws loose he probably should have moved seats to spare himself the futility of any further contact with her! There’s absolutely no point engaging with a looney – just get the hell out of there (an equally important message to send to kids!).
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I would have done the same as you, Guest. Reminds me of that saying
“never argue with a pig, you will both get covered in shit and the pig will enjoy it”
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Doesn’t sound like she had a few screws loose to me. It does sound like she was a nasty racist bitch though.
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On another note, I’m also concerned about the woman’s daughter pinching a little 2yr old for no reason.
I wonder if she is also the schoolyard bully..?
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Or possibly she’s being treated like that herself at home and is mirroring the behavior with others
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I really think that right at the start, if only parenting came into play, all that should have happened was a reprimand to the child pinching, and an appolgy to the child and parent sitting ahead! That is all that should have happened. Angry, volitile people out there.Where is common curtacy? As if he could have turned around to engage with the pinching child without a mother noticing! Rude and nasty, there is no place for racism.
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im totally with you on this! Children constantly seem to be doing things like this. Recently we (our family) were on a flight with the children behind us shaking the seats, yelling, pulling my daughters hair and generally misbehaving. And yes their parents were there and these children were not toddlers!
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I wouldn’t get involved for fear of getting shot or stabbed. Too many loonies are armed these days.
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“All it takes for evil to flourish is for good people to do nothing”
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I’ve replied to several comments below but want to make a comment on my overall reaction to this awful incident and it’s aftermath…
This woman displayed disgusting behaviour involving racist insults and physical threats in front of strangers and her own children. We don’t know why. Period.
In my opinion the discussion would be much better if it was about how to deal with people who act like this (as Jamila suggested) and not about speculating as to why they do (adding throwaway insults in the process)!
As I’ve already said, I hope that I would have said something to her if I had been there. I say hope, because I can’t really guarantee how I’m going to react until I’m in a situation – when I’ve weighed up all of the variables. I usually react in situations where I feel the need to butt in with an incredulous “Seriously?” or “I can’t believe you just said that!” or something along those lines. It doesn’t always help, but I have to try – it’s in my DNA.
I am by no means perfect – I really wish I had the guts to stand up to people who are verballing their kids – but it usually makes me feel so ill that I’m lost for words :/
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Best comment here. So easy to throw out the derogatory insults at the woman, like many have. How does this make them any better than the woman who was insulting Jeremy? Also you are so right in saying you don’t know how you are going to react in a situation like this. Would you say something? or do you just say on here, full of bravado, I’d say something? No one knows.
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Aaaaw shucks… thank you Anonymous
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I have many times stood up for people being abused on public transport. Most recently a bunch of school kids were throwing food at a severely disabled man. Everyone was looking at them uncomfortably until I stood up and told them to get a life and go away. They sheepishly jumped off the train at the next station after throwing a few fingers up at me.
The disabled man grabbed my hand with tears in his eyes and just nodded. It brings me to tears to think about it. What would have happened if I hadn’t been there? Would people just have sat there sending a message that this man was totally alone in his torment?
It is not that hard just to stand up and tell people their behaviour is unacceptable.
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Yes. Most people doing the wrong thing KNOW they’re doing the wrong thing, and only do it because no-one says anything – ie they keep going because they get away with it.
I speak up too, and I find that if ANYONE says anything, it usually stops most people in their tracks. I think it shocks them to have someone pipe up.
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I have witnessed racism many times and whenever I find myself in the position of the innocent bystander I always hear that little voice inside my head reminding me that “silence is as good as agreeing”. That said, it’s a really difficult call to make to get involved when someone is clearly being aggressive and unreasonable since the most likely outcome is the outburst will be fuelled even further. In most cases I would seek the victim of the abuse out afterwards to let them know that there was at least one empathetic witness. Maybe the best that can come of such nastiness is that the victim knows that they are supported by the majority of people.
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A quote came to mind when reading this article- ‘All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.” (Edmund Burke). What an absolutely awful event but unfortunately not a rare one. This cycle of ignorance and prejudice that is taught to children who never grow out of this mindset is a serious issue that somehow needs to change. It is up to all of us to support those who are being racially vilified. I completely understand the fears that are felt by witnesses to such occurences but as silence can be interepreted as assent I endeavour to stand up for what is right.
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I believe that racism is all part of a general problem which includes not having an ability to put yourself in someone else’s shoes. I don’t understand how one person can be cruel and nasty to anyone else, whoever they are, whatever colour they are, what size they are, which sexy they are etc. etc.
I was the victim of pure rudeness while I was in Sydney Opera House on Australia Day and I was shocked that anyone could talk to a stranger the way this young woman talked to me.
It worries me that we have strayed so far from that old Australian idea of the Fair Go for everyone. People seem to be so self centred and busy with their own lives nowadays. It really bothers me to think of what the future will hold for our society if it continues down the same path.
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Poor little kids. I was 10 when I moved to Australia and encountered some kind of racial attack from adults and children. I have lived here for 26 years and still come across it. When I do happen to speak up for myself or others, I get the old “go back where ya came from” or worst “Only joking mate, no need to get so worked up about it”………I love this country and am so lucky to live here surrounded by the beauty and the sheen force of the peoples love and spirit….otherwise I would have “gone back to where I had come from” Now I feel sorry for these people who would say such a thing to a child and when my sons hear things said to their mother and ask me about it, I simple say “Don’t sweat the small stuff” and smile.
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This whole situation sickens me. Sometimes it’s hard to take a step back and realise that people like this abusive woman were once children too, and have obviously been raised in the same hateful, ignorant and intolerant manner that she now finds appropriate to raise her own daughter with. Obviously if you’re the type of person who finds this type of abusive behaviour appropriate, you’re clearly lacking the intelligence and awareness to realise that your racist attitude is disgusting.
Whilst living in Canberra a few years ago, I witnessed a man crossing a road with a little boy who would’ve been maybe three years old. The man was carrying an Australian flag and saying to the boy “you know what this [flag] means? It means ‘f**k off, we’re full! F**k off, we’re full!’”. The little boy then excitedly yelled this over and over as they walked away. I stood there, stunned and horrified with my mouth hanging open.
It’s just such a sad situation that these ignorant people can have children and brainwash them into having the same attitude. I suffer with the same sort of ignorance in my family. My grandparents were ignorant and my mother and uncle adopted this ignorant attitude for themselves. I’m glad that I’m not the same and can think for myself, but there’s no reasoning with these people. They think it’s funny if you try to tell them how ridiculous and inappropriate their racists comments are. As someone else commented earlier, they don’t think they’re racist, they think they’re right.
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Both my parents are white and we migrated to Australia in the late 1950′s. My mother on many occassions was called a “whinging pom” by people who did not even know her and was told that she should just go back to England. She never compared Australia to the UK, nor complained about any differences, because, as she said, we have come here to live and make this country our home. She would ask “What is a pom?” and would be told that it was an “english person”. Her reply to that was “I am a Scot and not english”. So sometimes it isn’t always the colour of your skin.
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as a high school teacher in a large, regional qld town – racism (and other attitudes and beliefs) is a learned behaviour from parents.
i swear if i hear ‘all them asians’ or ‘their all terrorists’ one more time…….As a teacher i try and teach tolerance, about damaging stereotypes and acceptance…..its like banging your head against a brick wall sometimes!! all i can do is model positive attitudes and beliefs so that my son grows up to be a good person.
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Appalled at all forms of racism, however also appalled no one stepped in to help. Reminds me of an incident not so long ago where passers by ignored a young couple in extreme dstress after they were beaten and raped on a bus. I am sure we were all appalled no one seemed willing to jump in and help there either.
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