She’s 28. She’s the host of a radio show on Perth’s Hot FM. She has a great group of friends, an infectious smile. But on the inside Heidi is crying.
For years she’s been struggling with an eating disorder that’s slowly taken over her life. She can’t leave the house without trying on 20 different outfits – and sometimes she doesn’t leave the house at all.
Last week Heidi went on air and publicly confessed those body insecurities. After the picture of a 20-something probably-size-14 girl standing proudly half naked in her bedroom with the caption ‘THIS IS MY BODY, DEAL WITH IT’ went viral a few weeks earlier, Heidi also wanted to take a stand.= display_ad('x18', 'hidden-xs hidden-md mm_incontent', 'MM In Content'); ?>= display_ad('x20', 'visible-xs mm_mob_incontent', 'MM In Content (Mobile)'); ?>
This is what she had to say:
In case you can’t watch the video, here is the transcript:
Looking at the photo of Stella, I think – what a champ.
How courageous she is for putting herself out there, baring bits of skin I would never ever let my friends see let alone the world.
She has put all on the table and gone love me or leave me… God I wish I had her strength. I wish I could be her!
I wish I could stand in front of you and say “up yours” to the guy on facebook who said I had more chins than a Chinese phone book. Stuff you to the guy who told me I wouldn’t have been stood up if I lost some weight.
You think that because I’m in this job that I’m confident within myself. You think because I put myself out there every day I’m happy with me. I’m not. I wish I could sit here and tell you I love myself because that’s what people expect me to say…but I can’t, I hate my body and every day I get up and it’s a battle to look in the mirror.
I measure myself 3-4 times a week. I can’t look in the mirror without feeling hate towards myself.
I want to stop it but I don’t know how. I’ve hated my body my whole life, sometimes I won’t leave the house because I hate what I see, Ill try on 20 different outfits. I think if I can’t love myself who will love me?
I’ve only just started wearing my arms uncovered at 28, it’s taken me this long to accept that’s what they look like.
Every single time I look in the mirror I struggle, every single person I compare myself to. At the age of 14 I had an eating disorder and I’ve battled with my weight my whole life.
I probably cover up my taunts and fears with a loud and outgoing personality. Today I stand before you, telling you I’m willing to try. To try and love myself, to be happy in my own skin. To be the role model people think I am. To be the healthy and fit 28 year old who doesn’t beat herself up for her shape. Today it starts, it starts right now…I want Stella’s strength and courage to love myself inside and out.
Plenty of listeners called in to Heidi’s radio show to share their own stories about body image – listen below…