Children having children.
It’s just a typical day at school. Kick it off with maths, then a double period of drama. Recess comes before ancient history, followed by a pregnancy test and then a spot of P.E outside in the afternoon sun.
Sorry, WHAT?
If you’re a female student at the Delhi Charter School in Louisiana and you’re “suspected” of being pregnant (what, weeping over Kleenex commercials and dipping McDonalds fries in your strawberry sundae?), then weeing on a stick is a random but compulsory part of your daily school timetable.
And if the test comes back positive? You’ll be required to clean out your locker and switch to home schooling.
The Delhi Charter School has had these rules in place for around six years and they are apparently aimed at maintaining the school’s “high standards”.
The Student Pregnancy Policy (yes, there is one) reads:
If an administrator or teacher suspects a student is pregnant, a parent teacher conference will be held. The school reserves the right to require any female student to take a pregnancy test to confirm whether or not the suspected student is in fact pregnant. The school further reserves the right to refer the suspected student to a physician of its choice. If the test indicates that the student is pregnant, the student will not be permitted to attend classes on the campus of the Delhi Charter School.
If a student is determined to be pregnant and wishes to continue to attend Delhi Charter School. the student will be required to pursue a course of home study that will be provided by the school. Students engaged in home study will be required to meet all of the school’s ordinary, high academic standards in order to be promoted.
Any student who is suspected of being pregnant and who refuses to submit to a pregnancy test shall be treated as a pregnant student and will be offered home study opportunities.
Pregnant school girls.
The school also bans PDAs (Public Displays of Affection) including “holding hands on school premises, hugging, kissing, leaning against each other and sitting in each others’ laps”.
Which is a good thing, because we all know that lap sitting is just the first step down that short and slippery slope to life as prostitute, who is raising seven lovely but illegitimate children, smoking a lot of dope and not properly ironing your school skirt.
The story of Delhi Charter School has hit the media this week after officials in Louisiana ordered the school to change its policy. They argue the policy is unfair because it discriminates against students on the basis of sex – there’s no mention of males who father children being booted out of school, let alone compulsory paternity tests.
This from The Guardian:
Civil liberties campaigners highlighted the policy at the Delhi Charter School, saying it was discriminatory and unconstitutional. Commentators expressed concern that any student merely “suspected” of being pregnant could be forced to take a test.
The ACLU noted that around 70% of teenage girls who gave birth left school, partly because of illegal discrimination. “Schools should be supporting pregnant and parenting teens that face numerous barriers to completing their education, not illegally excluding them from school.”
But the school has so far failed to comply with those orders.
Pregnancy tests in school
In a statement to the New York Daily News, the principal of the school, which educates approximately 700 students, said “there have never been any complaints from students or parents about the school’s policy” and says the policy has been forwarded to the school’s lawyers to make sure its in compliance with the law.
As for once a pregnant student has their child, there’s no word on whether students are allowed to return to school. But let’s just assume that this is not one of those schools with onsite child-care facilities.
Is this really a smart way to discourage students having sex? Or just unprotected sex. When you were at school, did anyone ever get pregnant?
Comments
221 Comments so far
This actually happens at a school I went to in Western Australia. You don’t HAVE to do a pregnancy test however if they suspect you are pregnant (even if its a rumour) then they ‘strongly suggest’ that you do a pregnancy test with the school nurse.
If you are pregnant you were not kicked out though, as it happened to a friend of mine. I don’t think the pregnancy test idea is bad, however I don’t think they should be kicked out of school as they still need an education to be able to provide for the baby!
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I don’t care about teenagers having sex, falling pregnant and being youngs mums.
What I care about is the children being brought up by parents who teach them how to be safe. I spoke to my 4 yo just yesterday about sexual abuse and I’ll continue talking to him throughout his childhood about sex education.
Schools do teach sex ed but it really needs to be reinforced at home on a regular basis. By teaching your own children you can be certain that they’ve received the message loud and clear instead of wondering about what they have been taught at school.
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I entirely disagree with the school forcing girls to take pregnancy tests.
I do find it interesting though, how many people jump up and down about the father having responsibility and accountability in these situations too. It’s funny how when the girl decides to have the baby, he automatically has responsibility even if he doesn’t want it, but if he does want it that doesn’t matter if the girl wants to get rid of it. It’s always the girls right to choose what she does with her own body and the poor guy has no say. But as soon she decides otherwise, he is supposed to take responsibility. You can’t have it both ways girls.
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I think that is entirely unfair, “can’t have it both way’s” – WHAT a COP OUT! First it is both parties responsability to use preventative measure to ensure a pregnancy does not occur unplanned, if he chooses not to use a condom then what do they both expect to happen and the argument about girls say they’re on the pill… well good sex education would have you thinking well… we know that the pill only protects against pregnancy and not STI’s. Also, with the propper amount of famillial/ community and partner’s support the young girl may choose to keep the baby and raise it whilst still attaining education! Teen pregnancy is not ideal but responsability had to be taken somewhere… Either the girl keeps the baby and the father SHOULD take responsability of some care of the child OR she attains a safe, legal abortion without judgment!
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As far as I’m concerned, people can do what they want as long as it is legal, not hurting others and my tax dollars are not paying for it. Welfare system gives teens too many options. I knew one preg girl who was so excited she could leave school and get an income much more than her p/t job, and even get her own house courtesy of housing commission. This can be very alluring to a 16yo like my friend, who didn’t enjoy school, had so-so family life and wanted her casual relationship to be more permanent. Nothing her parents said could change her mind, as our govt offered her everything on a silver platter. 3 yrs on life is not so rosy for her.
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Unfortunately the problem these days is not that teens are having sex , they are having plenty of it and not in loving relationships. Young teens are having random sex, multiple partners, & unprotected . We need to teach them to change their ways. Kids going to parties where y there are blow job parties, girls taking a few difference boys in a night and it has become acceptable. Then when a yong teen at 15 wakes up and finds herself pregnant & unsure to who it becomes even more of a sad story. Respect is what needs to be taught. These young kids are playing havoc on their health & mental well being . It is very disturbing behaviour and nothing I endured as a teen where kissing is what we did, not sucking boys appendages at parties and then having
sex with more than one teen boy in a night.
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Another huge generalisation. How many teenagers do you know?
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Not a generalisation, this is happening. Open your eyes and don’t be ignorant !
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Yeah Faybian, how can you be so ignorant in the job you do, dealing with teenage mums. Open your eyes!
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Not a generalisation. I went to a christian school and riding home on the bus had to listen to girls as young as 13 talk about how they got drunk and had sex on the weekend, and about how one of them lost their virginity when they were 11! This was 5-6 years ago, so I only imagine it is continuing. I myself was not like that, and I know there are many teens not like that, but there are also many others who are.
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The skankiest girls I know went to catholic school! I went to a public girls school with 150 students and not a single one left to have a kid. The catholic school in the same suburb had 17 leave school to have one.
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Its not a generalisation in my area. Lots of mums tell me about what goes on at the parties their sons go to. Interestingly, they all say the girls are out of control, they get drunk and do whatever the boys want and their parents have no idea. we are talking about 14yo girls. My friends with boys just keep trying to reinforce to their sons that these girls are someones sister and daughter and to treat them the way they would want their own sisters treated. But it is hard when they are throwing themselves at them practically naked and anything goes.
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I know plenty, I have 3 teenage sons. I have heard enough to know what goes on. It even to my horror happened in my own home when I came home early. 2 x13 year old girls having sex in the spare bedroom with 2x 14 year old boys. It is a reality and a bloody scary one.
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Nat I agree. The kids who called themselves the ‘cool crowd’ in high school were far too free and easy with sex . I would love to know how many of those girls, now as women have had trouble having babies because of their sex life in high school.
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How does having sex in high school make it problematic getting pregnant later? Just curious.
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STDs. Chlamydia can cause blocked tubes which can impact upon conception. I have 2 friends who had unprotected sex in their teens and have been told this was the likely cause of their infertility.
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Uh oh, dipping McDonalds chips in your strawberry sundae means you’re pregnant?!?!
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It amazes me that quality ongoing sex and health education isn’t compulsary. At primary school and high school.
I think if high schoolers viewed THAT childbirth video it might encourage them to be more vigilant about safe sex.
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Having a baby when you’re 15 or 16 is probably most ideal as your body will snap right back into place. It’s going to be real hard to shift that baby weight when you are 40.
I say if you are able to have a baby at 15 and are lucky enough to fall pregant then go ahead and do it. Most women now a days pay thousands of dollars to TRY and fall pregnant. So don’t wait till you’re 30 to find out you will need IVF, have a baby while your body is most fertile at the age of 15 or 16.
Then by the time you are 30, your child will be old enough to look after itself, leaving you plenty room to do things for yourself, such as climbing up the corporate ladder.
Having a baby at 30+ years of age is really a big, fat, parasitic hindrance.
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I think 13 is a better age to start trying for one.
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And you can be a young, cool mum and swap boyfriends with your teenage daughter (just like on Bold and the Beautiful).
Even better, you could be a super cool granny at 30 and great granny at 45 if you keep the family tradition going.
Sounds Fab.
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whilst i disagree entirely with you ridiculous and dangerous point of view. I love the nickname
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Wrong. Having babies too young has medical complications (not just having them post-35) – bones are not fully formed in young teen mothers, greater risk of pre-eclampsia and vitamin deficiency, and lower birth weight of the baby . Your twenties is your best time, medically speaking, to have babies.
More info here FWIW: http://health.howstuffworks.com/pregnancy-and-parenting/pregnancy/complications/a-guide-to-pregnancy-complications-ga2.htm
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This is the most ridiculous thing I have ever read.
If you can’t see what negatives there are for a 16 year old having a baby then you need to spend time with ones that have and get a reality check!
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OMG it was tongue in cheek..chill!
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Actually having babies in your teens and early 20s increases you risk of prematurity significantly. I went through the ordeal of a premature baby in my 30s and it nearly killed me. The young girls and boys in the nicu were by no means prepared to cope with that.
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I think contraception education is most important for young adults. Adults can pretend that their teenagers aren’t having sex but usually, they’re in denial. I would rather teach them about safe sex then they accidentally get pregnant. Sadly in todays day and age, with all the STD’s (some fatal) you could be talking about the difference between life and death.
Both boys and girls should be instructed about safe sex. It’s BOTH of their responsibility to make sure they are using protection.Ignorance is how alot of these problems occur. Parents and schools want to pretend it wasn’t happening.
I went to a Catholic school but we learned all about The Pill, STD’s How to Put on a Condom and where to buy them. We got the usual “Sex should only be between a man and women once they’re married but IF you find yourself in a situation….” and then we were told where to get help if necessary, the morning after pill, contraception.
It’s better to have the information then not.
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It’s too hard to get the morning after pill.
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Why do you say that?
It’s available over the counter at the chemist – no doctor or prescription required.
It’s more difficult to get cold & flu meds!
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Ever actually tried to get it? You ask for it over the counter and they ask you to stand aside because they need to get you a form. Then they put the form on the counter, right there in front of everyone, and ask you to fill it out. You need to state what form of contraception failed to make the pill necessary. They then take the form to the chemist who comes over and explains all the possible side effects. Do you think many teen girls want this type of advertising? Especially in a small country town like the one I live in.
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Yes.
Maybe judge the timing better so that the pharmacy isn’t busy.
It’s a hell of a lot harder to have a baby you’re not ready for, or an abortion – I don’t think the 5 minutes of embarrassment in a chemist could compare to that!
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Sure, I agree. But you’re looking at it through the eyes of a grown woman. If you were 15 it would be a lot harder to go into the chemist and sign that form.
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I’m a pharmacy assistant and in my pharmacy it’s our policy to be very discreet about it. The customer will be informed quietly of the policy and asked to take a seat to the side and fill out the form. Our pharmacists are excellent and will go through it quietly with the patient.
One of the reasons is for people like me (sorry for the inconvenience) who have chronic illnesses (epilepsy) and have to take medications to stay healthy- medicines that do not mix with the morning-after pill. If I just picked it up and took it with no advice I’d be on the floor seizing by the end of the day from the reaction. Medicines can be extremely dangerous if they aren’t approved by a professional. The pill used to be prescription-only, because it’s not as light as a Panadol or Nurofen.
Can you imagine how much worse it would be if 15 year olds had to go to the doctor for the morning-after pill? The experience with getting the pill varies from pharmacy to pharmacy and I wish all of them were as good about it as ours, but it’s a lot more user-friendly now.
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I have had to take the morning after pill before and my experience was nothing like this. It was very discreet and respectful. Teenagers need to understand that if they want to play adult games they need to be prepared to face the consequences like adults.
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Yep, same.
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I’ve only bought the morning after pill once but I refused to fill in the form. The pharmacist was quite shocked but gave it to me anyway. Wasn’t too difficult but damn expensive.
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Personally I found filling in the form to be a discreet way of asking you those questions in a public place. Beats the pharmacist asking those questions out loud so everyone can hear.
The questions are there so you can get the best possible medical advice for your situation.
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As alyssakt said, there is no need for a prescription. It’s an over the counter product from the chemist.
And that’s only if you have had an “accident” Condoms are available everywhere these days! Coles, Chemist, Petrol Stations
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I think teaching about contraception and how their bodies work would be more useful than pregnancy tests! This applies to the male and female students.
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I really think the point of the pregnancy tests is to deter the students altogether. Yes its humiliating but if nothing else has ‘educated’ these kids effectively enough then sometimes you need to take drastic measures. There are both sides to this argument, but I can kinda see why they felt it necessary to take this path, and I would guess this might be a private school too? I am sure if this was a public school it would be a little different.
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No, it’s a charter school- they’re sort of public schools that operate independently, hence the ACLU getting involved. A public school can’t have rules like that in America.
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My American friend (who is also a teacher) explains:
So, in the US, usually schools are operated by a local school district. Schools often have attendance areas within that school district, but these are often mushy. (I can explain that if you need me to.) The school district is run by a board that is elected by all the people living within the district. It is responsible for overseeing the broad strokes and policies in the district, and hires the superintendent, who is responsible for overseeing the large daily functions of the district. And then principals teachers blah blah blah.
A charter school operates independently from a district. The charter school is run by a board elected by people who work in the school or have children in the school. They operate similarly to a school district board. And then principal, teachers, blah blah blah.
Depending on the state, they are funded on a per-student basis and receive additional federal funds for Title I students and other special programs depending on their student populations. All exactly like a public school. In MN, however, charter schools cannot own their own buildings and a bunch of other additional restrictions.
They are bound by the same laws as far as accepting students as school district except that, because they have no attendance area, they do not have to give preference to anyone based on where they live. Lottery systems for out-of-area students in a school district operate the same way as lottery systems for accepting students into a charter school. Usually it goes: current students, siblings of current students, all others on a random drawing method of those submitting an application by a due date.
Think of it as a public school that isn’t tethered to a geographic attendance area or a school district.
Okay, so in the article about the Delhi Charter School, the state is able to tell them they have to change their (ridiculously illegal and horrific) policies because they are bound by state law. If they were a private school, they could expel pregnant girls with impunity.
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When I was teaching high school, several girls became pregnant. It was not openly known and they all chose to have abortions feeling they were not equipped to have a child. I have a strong feeling most of their mothers never knew and were probably in denial about their daughters even having sex.
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“If a student is determined to be pregnant…”
What a horrific way to word that.
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Why? They’re determining if the girls are pregnant. I don’t get why it’s horrific?
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Oh, dear lord… How embarrassing.
I had a massive bimbo moment this morning and read “determined to be pregnant” as in “stubbornly wanting to stay pregnant and not have an abortion”. Umm, wow. What an idiot.
In my defence, I had a late night and wrote that comment pre-coffee this morning!
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Teach your child/ teenager for every action there is a reaction. Give them guidance , teach them to respect their bodies and never let anyone abuse it.
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These photos portray these teens all smiling and proud.. Nice
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How should they look then? Sad and ashamed? Maybe they’re making the best of their situation? If you don’t laugh, you cry, you know?
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Sorry there is nothing to be proud of being a child and being pregnant. Nothing short of disgraceful .
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Oh I don’t know. There are some pretty disgraceful comments and generalisations here, T.
It was only about 100 years ago that girls were married at 15/16, it still happens in some cultures. You only think they’re children because that’s what our society does at the moment – infantilises kids. Teenagehood never really even existed until the fifties. Maybe if people stopped treating their kids like idiots and let them grow up instead of insisting they be children for as long as happens now, things would be different.
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There are some girls who accidentally fall pregnant and some of those girls continue on with their education and make something of their life and their child’s life. Disgraceful??? Are so many people still stuck in the dark ages?? Lots of teenagers have sex, we need proper sex education but one thing is for certain, accidents will happen.
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Would you prefer that they had bags over their heads?? Or should they be stuck at home, never to be seen again?? Maybe we should have the government force them to have their babies adopted out!!!
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what a horrid response.
rather that than shamed, angry or distraught.
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Horrid response? It is actually Australian history. Teenagers and young women in the 1950, 60 and 70, forced by the government to adopt out their illegitament children. We should learn from our mistakes, stop being so judgemental and support those who need it!
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Just Taff wasn’t responding to your comment, Jojo.
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settle petal. my comment was to this horrid remark:
”
August 13, 2012 at 08:29 pm Anonymous
These photos portray these teens all smiling and proud.. Nice”
remember, mamamia does terrible iphone browsing and conversation formatting. but we love them anyway.
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I hate the fact that it’s the girl that gets punished. If a girl/woman is pregnant, there has to be sperm involved and generally speaking, sexual intercourse took place which involved a man. Why is it “just” the girl who has to leave a school? Especially in the case of a co-ed school, the boy involved is never made to feel as “ashamed” of their actions.
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I’m not quite sure how your comment is related to mine? I think it’s wrong for a girl to be treated like this when they fall pregnant. What I hate even more is the fact that the boy involved generally faces no or little consequences. Ever hear of a boy being kicked out of a school for getting a girl pregnant? To me this just ties in with the old belief “a girl who sleeps around is a slut, and a guy is a stud” As though somehow it’s the girls fault she got pregnant and the guy faces no consequences.
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I don’t think it’s fair to say the guy suffers no consequences. He can be made to pay child support. Also, the guy doesn’t get to decide if the baby is born or not. The girl makes that decision. If he wants her to have an abortion and she doesn’t want to he can’t force her.
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Yes he pays child support. But he isn’t excluded from school (which does happen) He pays child support and it’s usually the young women who has to put her entire life on hold to look after the baby. The boy goes off, completes school, goes off to uni. It is vastly different for a boy and he is not judged like a girl is for a teenage pregnancy!
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I know there are a ridiculous amount of teen pregnancies lately, but that doesn’t mean they have to be judged. Some are silly and don’t use protection and sometimes it breaks. Most children these days probably weren’t planned, by adults. Teens who get pregnant need support, not to be shunned, they probably already feel ashamed. I’m nineteen and haven’t been pregnant, so I couldn’t tell you how they feel. I bet a lot of teen pregnancies occur because they don’t have access to birth control, or even sex ed. Pregnancy and prevention should be taught in the first year of high school, not year 9, when I was taught about it.
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Moral of the story..teach your children morals.
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I had sex at 15 when I was in year ten at high school. Guess I have no morals then.
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“Morals” are about as effective at stopping preganancy as the withdrawal method is.
Personally i’d focus on teaching them about contraception and good judgement.
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I think that labelling these girls as immorale is ridiculous. They have had sex and had a baby not committed a crime. I think that parents need to talk with their daughters and sons about how their lives will change, financially, emotionally and socially,if a baby comes along. Also build into your children aspirations, dreams and hopes for the future and help them develop the skills to achieve them. Simply telling them something is bad doesn’t stop kids from doing stuff because as far as they’re concerned we’re old and ‘out of touch’. How many of us did something bad just because it was bad. What stopped me was the fear it was going to screw up my future and my dreams.
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This is all about punishing women for having sex. Do these schools have sex ed? I’m betting not.
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That’s the problem. They are not women. They are children.
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I think that is the real problem, a lot of US schools dont teach sex ed & hence the problem. I think teaching kids about sex from yr 8 is vital.
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Year 8 is too late. Girls are getting their period in year 6/7 or earlier.
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Bravo Redqueen, you hit the nail on the head, and unfortunately, this is becoming a more and more dangerous phenomenon in the US. I don’t know why their state department wrings its hands about places like Afghanistan and bleats about womens rights, but is slowly curtailing the rights and freedoms of American women and infantilising them. I don’t think teens should become pregnant, but somehow I also REALLY don’t think sex is something that only women are doing. I’m pretty certain their are penises involved in the equation somewhere.
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So, I just thought I should point out that us teens aren’t all bad. I’m fifteen, don’t have a boyfriend, i am a virgin (the fact i even have to clarify that is ridiculous) and have never done drugs or alcohol. I have a very very large group of friends and acquaintances from my school and dancing who can all say the same thing. Reading these comments made me feel quite angry and disappointed that adults have such little faith in our generation. You raised us, you should believe in us. We’re not dumb. We don’t try to get pregnant. But sometimes condoms break or pills are missed, or any combination there of. These things are generally out of our control and all we ask for is not to be judged, but to be helped and supported in our decision. I really don’t think that’s too much to ask.
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well said. I am a teacher and I am ashamed that a school has that attitude. I think adults tend to forget that teenagers have a right and do feel emotions such as love. They put it down because ‘oh they don’t know what it means, they are too young.’ B S. As for being pregnant accidents happen to all people regardless of how old they are. My friend is married on birth control and falls pregnant people don’t frown on her. She didn’t want another child but as I said ACCIDENTS HAPPEN!
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I don’t understand how people say ‘oh teen sex don’t do it it leads to pregnancy and disease’. All sex is a risk but the chance is not that high if you are sensible.
Sex is not inherently going to lead to something bad. I get in the car in the morning and I could possibly have an accident but I still drive. I could get pregnant but I still have sex. It is an illogical argument, not to do something because of the small risk it goes wrong.
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OMG, i am appalled by some of these comments. its 2012 not 1950. In this day and age, an enlightend, empowered and supposedly educated community is openly holding young girls to account for getting pregnant, blaming and condeming them. Yet very few of you have openly commented on the boys part in this, or his ability to take responsibility for their behaviour. Apparently they are incapable of doing so as the girls lead them astray, and have to take all the responsibility of the actions of two young people.
Lets extrapolate this out people: using some of the logic/arguements that have been put forward here, the same girls, due to their behaviour would probably have asked for it when raped or deserved it when abused by their boyfriend.
NO, don’t think so well neither do young girls who have sex deserved to be isolated and pilloried by society for a action that takes two people to engage in and only one to live with the consequenses.
The reality of life is that young people will have sex. And for the record your socio economic group doesn’t dictate whether you will do it or not. It will happen. I went to one of the top ten girls schools in the country in a very “nice
” part of sydney and know of at least 4 girls who got pregnant at school and many many more who were having sex before they left school, and lets not even discuss what went on at uni before many of them were 18.
We can all stick our heads in the sand and pretend it didn’t go on when we were growing up or be honest and acknowledge one of lifes great realities. Admit that we may find it a little distasteful to do that and then find the best way to support and empower girls in this environment. Educate them, give them the ability to move out of the poverty cycle and most importantly start holding the young boys who are the fathers of these children accountable for their behaviour as well. Make them help care for the children they father, have relationships with them and deal with the consequenses of their actions as the girls have to do. Maybe then they will think twice about the no condom attitude. or even treat the next girl that they are with more respectfully than they did the last. And we may stem the generations of fatherless children that seem to be growing larger and larger.
Most importantly educate your children from an early age about consequenses to behaviours, teach them about sex and empower them to make good decisions for themselves. don’t rely on the teachers where you send them to school to do this as many do. But be open and honest about what really goes on out there. Its not always nice but it is better than pretending its perfect when it isn’t.
oh and to all those mums saying that only certain sorts of girls get pregnant as a teenager, i hope for your daughters sake they never ever have to tell you that they have an unplanned pregnancy at any age. i dread to think how some of them would be treated by their families.
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This is not about the morals of young girls or young boys for that matter. It’s not about what socioeconomic group you belong to or sex education in schools. This is about pregnant teenagers continuing their high school education with the rest of the children.
I don’t want my girls attending a school like this. If you are comfortable with it then thats fine. I’m not and I guess that’s why a lot of people opt for private schools.
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thats my point, i went to a private school, a very expensive very well known one and there were still “nice” girls getting pregnant and more than 50% of girls by year 12 were having sex. Most of their parents didn’t know that they were having sex because of the attitude their parents had towards it. Girls still got pregnant. Private school or not. it makes no difference. So you can’t make a call based on the school or the fees you pay.
Also, at this particular school at least one of the girls took some time out was home schooled and came back to the school while her mum took care of her child during the day, so private school or not still girls who are mums there.
And while you may not want to make it about morals, buy saying you don’t want your daughters attending you are making a moral call. A call you have every right as a parent to make but you should be honest about the fact that you are making a moral call. The question i have to ask is do you want your sons to attend a school where the boys are treated as hero’s if they have sex and go without concequence if they or one of their friends find out they are going to be a father??? are you going to send them away to another school where the “nice” boys can’t be exposed to them?? Again paint it how you will its a moral decision and one that never works in the girls favor. Which is the point i am trying to make: Why are the boys who fathered the children these girls are carying not being punished or pulled from the school and why are we so hard on the girls.. It is inherently sexist and again sounds like we blame them and accuse them when it talkes two to tango. so yes it is about morals, and values and the way we look at these things as a society.
For the record i only have a son and in that situation he would have to face up to the consequences of his actions who is to young to go to school yet, but has a place in a private school already. And i’m not sure how i would feel if i had a daughter, about her being at school where there was a creche, or was to be a teenage mum herself . But i know what ever decision i made it would be done with compasion and concern for all involved something which seems to be severly lacking when we talk about teenage mums. The attitude generally seems to be that if you get pregnant you lose your right to have a future and we will punish you and make it hard for you for as long as we can. Something that creates no winners but does help to create a crushing welfare bound society that none of us are really comfortable with.
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Are you seriously saying that people send their kids to private schools because public schools have pregnant girls in them. Wow. I went to a public school and I can’t remember anyone getting preggers.
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Sigh. No. Im saying that one of the reasons parents opt for private education is the higher standards. Pregnant girls are encouraged to leave not wander around glorifying teen pregnancy then wanting childcare facilities. They are learning institutions for children. Like it or not most parents don’t want their daughters private school admitting teen mothers.
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My public school had plenty of standards because my community had ‘standards’. If these private schools you speak of that asked pregnant girls to leave had such high standards they wouldn’t need to ask anyone to leave because students wouldn’t get pregnant! What you seem to be talking about is the perception of standards. Public schools come in in all shapes and sizes in many different communities, as do private schools. There are some private schools I wouldn’t send my dog to
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Am I the only person to ing sighing in post incredibly rude and condescending – sigh
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You are, of course, entitled to your opinion. It differs to mine.
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did anyone ever get pregnant? I went to geraldton senior college- EVERYONE got pregnant
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Hey, where did my comment go? It had biblical references and everything!
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We might have lost you in spam Josie. We’ll try and find it now!
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Thanks Jamila!
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Ok, number one, for those who are using their Christian beliefs to judge these kids, Mary was a teenage mum. Just pointing it out.
Secondly, by the time the girl is pregnant, it’s a bit late to punish her isn’t it? How about, if a school has a problem with teen oregnancy, get to the bottom of WHY it is happening. Address the problem- id there a lack of contraceptive information or access? Is there a self esteem problem? Is there a culture where sex is being used as a slef promotion tool? Finally, having a child young isn’t always the end of the world, but it sure makes life a lot harder. If we don’t want these young women’s children to end up having babies young to (I’ve seen a bit of “oh, it’s bad parenting etc” going on here) then surely the answer is to help them to get as much education as they can so the cycle doesn’t repeat itself?
Fnally, having sex is not a ‘sin’. Being pregnant is not a ‘punishment’. And I would hope that if my daughter was to end up pregnant at 16 she would have the same opportunities to a mainstream education, with all that entails, that I did.
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i think the constant references to parents without boundaries are a little unfounded.
As the youngest of 5, my parents were much more lax with me than with my siblings.
I was in the ‘cool group’, i went to the parties, underage drank etc, the difference was i was allowed to go, my mum trusted me to go, and i respected that, i never did anything to make her question her choices, because i felt no need to rebel against them.
It was actually the girls with the strict parents who wouldnt give them any rope who felt the need to rebel and they were often the ones who ended up in trouble (drugs, pregnancy etc).
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I have only encountered girls having babies who were babies themselves who came from backgrounds where their parents let them do what they wanted.
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Actually if you check out the better Heath Vic website it tells you what type of parents a teen mum will have. The girls at the highest risk are those who come from homes with regular conflict, are victims of violence and sexual abuse, unstable living arrangements, Low levels of education and a family history of young pregnancies. So from this you could say that strict or laid back parenting style doesn’t increase the risk, it’s about coming from a loving, caring, stable, home, ensuring there is low levels of conflict. Obviously, it doesn’t prevent it happening but it lowers the risk. I also think its pretty rough to judge these girls as having no morals when you understand where many of them have come from.
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Agree, I never felt any need to rebel because I was allowed to do stuff. The girls with strict parents are now celebrating their kids doing their HSCs and going to uni, and we’re a few years off 40.
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Completely agree with you. My parents were very laid back about stuff. We were allowed to have a little shandy to drink at family gatherings from a very young age. If we wanted to try something our parents were drinking, they would let us have a sip etc.
Consequently, I was one of the few 15 year old’s at school who had little interest in drinking myself into a coma and passing our on the neighbour’s front lawn.
And alternately, there were girls at school who had such strict parents. They were the ones who ended up drunk all the time in years 9 and 10, having sex and a few got pregnant at 15/16 years old.
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Theres some really judgemental comments here and I think some are from males and some are just trolling.
Unintended pregnancies have always happened and always will. The fact that this school is (or was) doing this leads me to think that they are a very conservative Christian school and that they are more worried about appearances than anything else.
I think their time would be better spent educating boys AND girls about sex, relationships and contraceptives, rather than shaming one half of the student body. Obviously education isn’t a magic bullet, but the “just say no” mentality clearly doesn’t work either.
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I thought it might be a conservative religious school too, but Charter schools aren’t – I copied my friend’s explanation of them ^^^.
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I read your explanation, thanks for that. I have no idea of the mess of the us education system, other than what I saw in “waiting for superman”. I know more about the mess of their health system.
Either way, I think they’re more worried about how the school “looks”.
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I know you are allgoing to slap me down, but here goes.
I don’t care who the father is, if the contraception failed or what the upbringing was like.
I don’t want my 15 year old daughter going to a school with pregnant girls and child are facilities. I don’t want babies in her classroom. This is not what school is for.
If you have made an adult decision to have sex and then have a baby, make another adult decision and educate yourself outside the secondary system.
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I so agree with you Anonymous. The wisest thing posted on this site today.
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Do you think the other girls are going to catch pregnancy?
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No but birds of a feather flock together
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Are you raising such weak willed kids that they blindly copy what others do?
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Most Teens and children follow their peers. A bit like your friends from school not quite 40 but with VCE children. You mentioned itKris2040 . Follow the pack
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The girls I mentioned weren’t friends, actually. But don’t let facts get in the way of your generalisations.
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You really don’t know what you’re talking about do you?
There is a child care facility on site or close by, so the babies can be looked after while the mums are at school and they can visit them during lunch break etc. they don’t get dragged around the school. I’ve known of a couple such high schools and for teenage girls it’s pretty much the only option. Unless you count correspondence school, which isolates them at a time when social interaction is a big part of their lives. TAFE educates adults not school age kids.
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I am so glad I live in an area where none of this would happen. The more affluent the area the less likely this would happen in schools.
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Yes, they have abortions.
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Possibly a much wiser move then having a baby at 15 and hindering your childhood.
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Possibly, but they’re still sexually active and if they can get pregnant, they can get diseases.
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You must be joking – unplanned pregnancies are not post code or educationally specific.
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Actually to a degree it is. While there are girls of all educational and social backgrounds having babies the stats suggest that education and socioeconomic status are linked to the age at which women become pregnant and the number of children that they have. Ignoring this will not help. We need to address why women who are less educated and of a lower socioeconomic background have babies younger.
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Unplanned pregnancies are not post code or educationally specific, they are just unplanned. Women and girls from all walks of life are confronted with this dilemma everyday. It makes me so sad that in 2012 there is still such a stigma attached to such an age old occurance. As women we need to be so much more supportive and less judgmental regardless of age,education or relationship status.
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Most young teen girls of low social economic backgrounds will have babies , get on welfare , have a few more babies, all different fathers and continue the welfare cycle. Affluent teens usually come from families where emphasis is placed on education and succeeding in life . All comes down to values . Affluent people are more likely to be educated, low social are less likely.
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I’m not sure that it has to do so much with values, but rather aspirations and the ability to see a future outside of your immediate world and social circle.
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Most? Really? I’d love to see your proof and stats on that, T.
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@ kris2040. Check out the town of Moe in Victoria and read up on the percentage of young g teen mums, majority single, different fathers to their babies, welfare cheques, Moe is congested with them.
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So your comment is actually “Some mothers in Moe apparently have kids to different fathers and are young”, not “Most young teen girls of low social economic backgrounds will have babies , get on welfare , have a few more babies, all different fathers and continue the welfare cycle”.
It’s your claim, you show us the actual stats to back it up. Knowing someone whose cousin knows someone doesn’t count.
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Obviously you struggle to read kris2040. . Never used the word ‘some’ , said most, and used the word congested. most means majority not some…
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No T, I was just rewriting your comment for you based on your “facts” about some crappy Victorian town. Until you can prove it, your comment is just a gossip based claim.
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T is 100% correct. How do I know? I’m from the area.
Bairnsdale actually has the highest teen birth rate in Australia followed by Moe. We had people fr the DHS come to our school every year to reinforce this stat and give us sex Ed. They’re trying to get the numbers down because many of the girls don’t go back to school and end up on welfare or in low paid jobs.
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There are pockets everywhere with these stats. Quite often they go along with cheaper rent, high level of govt housing, rural area/not a lot of opportunities and in some cases “a tradition” of lots of children/children when young. It can actually be seen as a viable option in other words.
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Thanks for commenting and explaining, Kate.
Is it most girls?
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Yes Fabian, lets just encourage girls to get pregnant where there is childcare facilities for them on site. By being a little more judgmental girls would perhaps think of their consequences before having unprotected sex. Lets not make it all too easy for them..
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Yes. Because being judgemental ALWAYS works…
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No ones encouraging them. There’s only a few schools in each state that have those facilities, so I wouldn’t exactly calling it encouraging them. Punitive methods and shaming do NOT work. The US is a prime example of this, or didn’t you read the story?
What do you suggest for the boys/fathers??? They are.after all the other parent, but it seems you don’t mind that nothing negative happens to them.
I just don’t get people with attitudes like yours.
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Yes, let’s make sure those children grow up in poverty by making it as hard as possible for their mothers to get an education. After all, it’s their own fault for being born to their slutty, slutty mothers, right?
I think by “consequences” what you actually mean is “punishment for having sex”.
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Tafe educates adults not school age kids? High school educates kids not adults with kids.
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Anon, i dont agree with you, but having the girls in the classroom isnt their only option. A half dozen years ago when I was in year 11, a classmate fell pregnant. She studied until she started to show, and she decided that she would complete the rest of her studies via distance. She did it, and the school helped her.
The school (a Catholic one at that) gave her all the external help she needed. They arranged for her teachers to be available after hours so she could come in for help when all the students were gone. They even had a place set for her during her HSC, and arranged a carer for the baby during her exams.
Not once did her classmates see or hear her baby (I had one class with her). She still got her education, but without the shaming that the school in the story aimed for.
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Hopefully your fifteen year old daughter won’t turn out to be as prejudiced, shallow and ignorant as you and Natasha.
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You say prejudiced, I say discerning. Shallow and ignorant? Well, that’s what people say about you when they don’t agree with you but can’t mount a logical argument.
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Well said anon!
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Guest, even more I hope that Anonymous’ fifteen year old daughter never finds herself in that position. It sounds like she could not turn to her parents for help or support in that situation. We all know where that kind of desperation can lead. How sad.
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So Anonymous…are you going to be the first to complain when your taxes are keeping these girls that are now uneducated and cannot get a job because you didn’t want them at school?? That’s the reality. We need to engage these girls in getting an education.
People like you cannot have it both ways.
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People like me? Odd thing to say. All you know about me is that I don’t want my daughter at a school with teen mothers and childcare facilities.
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The commenters on MM are so conservative when it comes to sex. Ridiculous judgement of teen sex in these comments and sex in general.
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Oh guest, most people will judge young kids having kids. It is pitiful that kids can’t be kids
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People will always judge teen pregnancy. Goverment welfare, handouts, what a sad cycle.
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That I get. It is judgement that they are having sex at all. When do people think you should start? The law says 16.
I had sexual feelings from a young age. I was ready. Teenagers are sexual beings too. We infantilise teenagers too much these days. In previous generations mid-teens on teens were much more independent and mature and had more responsibilities. 16 is not a child. A 16 year old can hold down an after school job, help out around home, sort out there own transport if PT is around and yes have a relationship if they want.
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I beg to differ – a 16 year old is most definitely a child, though one in transition. They have a brain that is still developing.
Yes they can work and sometimes they can really step up to the mark when necessary – but should they have to? They are in that in between stage between being a kid and being an adult.
Yes they could be considered an adult because they are fertile. But a lot of 12 year old girls also have periods so are therefore fertile too. Are they adults?
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Anonymous, it seems that the best way of breaking the cycle of government handouts would be to allow these girls to continue their education? Judging and throwing them out of school is obviously the last thing that will help. They make a mistake but that shouldn’t define the remainder of their lives, nobody is perfect.
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Kids having kids…. Just take a good look at their parents.. History nearly always repeats itself…
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Youre generalising. It doesn’t always. I had my kids young and history hasn’t repeated itself, nor has it with my friends who did the same.
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I never said always Fabian, Secondly I am talking about young kids having kids. DIfference.
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Umm, I was a teenager myself Natasha.
I work with young parents too, so I see the ones that are stereotypical teenage mums, but I also see the ones who, thanks to school support go back to school after bub, finish year 12 and go to uni or get other qualifications.
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That’s definitely generalised and kind of offensive. And actually, sometimes it does just the opposite Natasha.
My parents started their family in their late teens. Despite this, they were great parents, and did their best. Their marriage lasted about 12-13 years (not too bad really) however my mum’s education and career fell behind and it was a challenging upbringing financially.
Guess what? The hardships made me determined to not fall into the pattern. I focussed on my education, travel, personal development, finance and home ownership. I haven’t had kids yet – I am 32. I have studied at Oxford though. Oh, and I had sex at 16 (with a long term partner of similar age, I wasn’t promiscuous). I felt ready at that age – nothing would have stopped me. Don’t blame my parents – to this day, they still don’t know when I started that – kids are adept at lying! I was very, very, very careful – I wanted nothing to compromise my goals in life. I have never had so much as a scare.
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It would be lovely if people showed the compassion, love and support for pregnant teens that they are showing for the dog in the other story on Mamamia today. It is so disheartening to read comments that were old fashioned and judgmental 40 years age when I was 16.
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I heard about this last week and was appalled at the discrimination. I have been reading all the comments below and am very surprised that people are so quick to blame the parents for their children’s’ choices, it’s a bit pathetic really and some of the views are quite archaic.
Is it really only the children with parents that are not very strict that go out, have sex and get pregnant? I don’t think so and the comments about “where are the parents while this is happening”, really? Do you honestly chaperone your 15,16,17 year old daughters and sons everywhere they go? (I feel very sorry for your children if you do). But everyone is entitled to their own opinion.
I would imagine that quite a lot of people lose their virginity mid-late teens and mostly by choice, after all when is the “correct” age to officially have sex? The law says one thing, religion says another and it goes on, personally I think sex education in schools is the best way to combat teen pregnancy. Regardless of what your opinion is about sex, many people do end up having multiple partners before they “settle down” and I think the key is to have information available on contraception: bring out the bananas in sex ed class and show them how it’s done! Either way pregnant women of any age should be given support by society and not judged or discriminated against.
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I think you are referring to a few of my comments. I have teenagers and was also once a teenager myself. From my experience, yes, there will always be the kids who will, despite all attempts from their parents to stop them, will still find a way to have sex, take drugs and behave in an innapropriate manner for school students.
However, largely the ones who have sex regularly and from an early age are the teenagers whose parents dont appear to give a toss about what they’re up to. Or are too gullible and believe that their kids are where they say they are. I dont chaperone my children but I also dont let them out to parties at night with kids whose families I dont know well and whose families have the same standards as mine because I do know what happens at these parties. Parents are aware of who the girls are with the ‘slapper’ reputation and the boys with the ‘sex maniac’ repuation.
I honestly believe that school is not the time for kids to be having sex with lots of partners or in fact lots of sex with one partner. There is plenty of time for that when they leave school. If that makes my kids labelled the ‘dags’ thats fine, I’d rather have my kids the school dags than being in the ‘cool group’ which is also usually where you will find the school slapper, sex maniac and druggie.
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I love how all of your comments are: have sex, take drugs…assuming that all teenagers that have sex are drop kick, sex maniacs that take drugs all the time. How very narrow minded of you, but you are entitled to your opinion, which also entitled you to judge other people given that you have done extensive research and all…
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Your kids in their lives will end up doing things you don’t like. If not during school when you have the chain on, then when they get to be adults living away from home.
When you create an environment where your children feel they can’t tell you what they have been doing they will just keep it all to themselves. And if they get into trouble or need advice they will be too afraid of your reaction to talk to you about it. You can’t head off further trouble without knowing what is going on before it gets bad.
I don’t have kids but I try to help out with my little siblings. I want them to know I won’t encourage bad behaviour, I went to only one party when I was in year 12. But if they have climbed out their window to go to a party and it has gone wrong for the love of god call me and I will come and get you and make it right. Don’t make it worse because you are too afraid to call. We can always fix it and ground you later.
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Guess what, I was a ‘nerd’ as a teenager. Was school captain, excelled in HSC and won academic awards. Proud parents, close family with ‘high morals’. My parents were even married before they had kids. I’m now a lawyer.
Guess what! I had sex at high school! Because I liked it! I wanted to have sex so I did.
Don’t be so naive! If teenagers want it they will get it. I skipped classes to meet boyfriends, hooked up with guys at the movies or church socials, snuck boys in the house or hooked up with a friends brother. And our families had the same ‘values’. But a sleepover with his sister was the perfect opportunity.
I feel for your kids having such a judgmental mother.
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I’m not judgemental, I have standards.
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If my wife and I have a daughter I am just going to lock her up in the basement until her wedding day and then only let her out if her Fiance can beat me in a sword fight.
DISCLAIMER: The above comment is a joke and in no way do I endorse locking children up in the basement for 20yrs although I reserve the right to change my mind once she gets her first boyfriend.
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wow, I’m really surprised at the judgy-judge comments below.
Now might be a good time to come out of the closet. I had sex in my mid teens. I chose to do so, I wasn’t pressured into it.
I now have a husband, a family, a PhD and a great job. All very domesticated/suburban. Teen sex doesn’t lead inevitably to failure.
This policy of banishing pregnant girls from school, however, that is a policy that will only marginalise the girls. We need to support them to get an education, and treat them with some dignity.
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I’ll uncloset as well
I had sex at the age of 15, and I did it because I wanted to, I had a good boyfriend (not much older than I) and I was naturally curious. I am now into my 20′s, childless, in a steady relationship, about to be married, and about to do my 2nd degree. Oh and it didnt make me promiscuous either judgy people, stick that in your pipe and smoke it!
Teenage sex isnt a life sentence ALL the time. Sometimes being careful works, and sometimes it doesnt. Giving the girls access to help (condoms, other birth control, and even childcare if accidents happen) is going to be much more helpful than a pregnancy test after the fact!
Judgy people be damned
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pretty sure ive uncloseted myself before, but here i am, had sex in my teens, only ever with a stable longterm boyfriend, am now 26 married for a year, doing my PhD, working and expecting our first baby in 6wks…. Never realised failure was so obviously my calling for having sex so young!!! :-p
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I am probably a little biased in this debate but I had my first child a month after I turned 17. I was 16 and in Year 11 at school and a straight A student. I left school during pregnancy and wish I hadn’t but I didnt get any support from the teachers or school. Just frowned upon. Im not saying that they should support me the whole way butnot frowning upon it constantly would have been nice. Whilst this scenario obviously isnt the best for anyone, I made do with what I had. I now have 3 children (8, 6 and 4) and a lovely husband. I do not work but am returning to work and DO NOT USE BENEFITS. I hate that everyone assumes young parents just sit on their asses to ‘rake in the benefits’. Does anyone realise how much you actually get? My point is, i think supporting the pregnant mother is the best way to go, the sex ed they do in school should be enough, i agree, but sometimes people do stupid things, especially teenagers. I have since found out about these schools who have creches on site to care for the baby while mum is in class. They would have been AWESOME!! We need more of them. Support is amazing and maybe if things didnt need to be hidden so much, they wouldnt turn out to be a disaster. I also have two kids who are medically unwell and it really shows how much support can help anyone
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I teach at a school in an area where there is a high incidence of teen pregnancy. Instead of banishing and shaming young women who become pregnant, we encourage them to continue coming to classes up until – and after – they give birth. We help connect them with maternal health services, and we’ve made our school environment as supportive to young mums as possible. For example, we have a breast-feeding room, a change table, age-appropriate toys etc. All the students are able to see just how much work is involved in being a young mum and being a student at the same time. We would never turn pregnant teens away. Our school encourages and fosters respect for all our students – young mums included.
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Now THAT is more like it. That’s how schools should be approaching the issue of teen pregnancy. Not booting girls out.
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I would hate my daughter to go to that school but I suppose living in an affluent area this sort of thing would not happen. Babies are not meant to be in schools. Simple.
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I had one girl in my year 12 group who just randomly had a baby one weekend … my Mum told me when it happened and I didn’t believe it. The story went that she ‘didn’t know’ she was pregnant at all, the whole time.
There were a lot of us that didn’t believe that story, but hey I guess it could be true? Stranger things have happened. If it is true it must of been the biggest shock.
Anyway that was in 2004, she’s still with the babies father and they have had a second child. So it wasn’t a complete disaster!
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But god they make for good viewing on Teen Mom! Love that show …
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There were about 3 girls at my school who were pregnant and went on to drop out of school to look after the children.
Unfortuantely for them they didn’t complete school and they now live on government support.
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Yes, I knew of some that got pregnant, but they had aborbtions. Not sure what the answer is here, but I don’t agree with teenagers having sex, there is no way their minds and emotions are mature enough to deal with what happens after whether they have a baby not. My high school friends who lost their virginity early in their teen years had major issues throughout their teen and young adult lives because of the emotional baggage that comes with being sexually active.
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That’s a gross generalisation – I had sex in my early teens, and never had any major issues or emotional baggage. I’m pleased I did, because I don’t think the emphasis on girls’ virginity or the supposed connection for girls, not boys, of sex and love are a healthy thing for young girls, and I’m pleased I escaped some of that.
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Sarah, I can’t quite follow what your message is here, what I am getting is that you might be saying that having sex doesn’t mean you are in love, its just an act? Is this correct? If I have this wrong,sorry, but your reply is a bit hard to follow. You have to think about it though even in the movies we watch these days about having casual sex with no emotion involved. How do they all end up? They get together because they become emotionally involved, interesting that isn’t it! If you escaped it lucky you, but ‘alot’ of teenagers don’t and the message from movies, songs and the like that casual sex is okay, is really wrong and not fair to everyone.
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I find this funny because your second message is actually far harder to follow.
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My main point is that sex at an early age isn’t emotionally healthy, whether its casual sex or percieved love. I know the legal age is 16 but I still don’t think many 16 year olds are emotionally ready for sex and also the consequences that may follow. By giving a legal age, it basically makes a lot of kids think that they ‘should’ be having sex by this age, I really think it should have been 18 to start with, just the same as drinking, it may not stop all teenagers but it would make some think twice.
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My point is that you’re making a gross generalisation about when is the right age, when in actual fact it’s different for everyone.
Young girls are sold what is an unhealthy message – that their virginity is more important than a boy’s, that for girls sex = love when for boys it’s not connected. It’s wrong and it’s unhealthy, and I’m glad I didn’t fall for it – and glad I had sex when I did.
As for movies, hello, that’s fiction.
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I agree, we had the girls in yr10 whose older boyfriends would pick them up from school in their dodgy old cars and drive them off, god knows where, probably to go and have sex and smoke dope somewhere…
They thought they were so cool, but they had earned themselves the reputation as the school tarts. But now as an adult and a parent to teenagers I can see they were really just 15yo girls with too much freedom and doing things they shouldnt have been because they could get away with it. There is no way on earth I would be thrilled about any of my children having that sort of reputation, and the power to determine that is in my hands. My parents both worked fulltime and I too came home to an empty house but my mother would ring and keep tabs on me and I knew that if I did anything remotely out of line I would be in massive trouble. Parents really need to take control of their teenagers because what you allow them to get away with does determine how the outside world sees them.
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Wow. I was one of those girls in year 10 who had an older boyfriend (3 years older) who would pick me up from school in his dodgy old car (his parents old volvo actually) and “drive me off, god knows where”… oh wait actually no. Sometimes we would go to the local cafe for a coffee, and talk about our respective days at school/tafe. Other times we would go to maccas and grab something to eat. Sometimes I’d go back to his house, where he lived with his parents, and hang out there watching a movie with him and his brothers. Or sometimes he would just drop me off at home, so I didn’t have to catch the bus. Thank God you didn’t go to my school, as clearly you would have labeled me a school tart, and imagined me off having sex in the back seat and smoking drugs. I really hope as a mother to teenagers, you are not raising them to be as judgmental, and presumptuous as you appear to be.
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I certainly wouldnt be happy about my 15yo daughter having an 18yo boyfriend who drove her around after school thats for sure. I am raising my kids to understand that people do judge you by your actions and the way they behave does reflect upon them and all it takes is for one action to have longlasting consequences about how people perceive them to be, whether that be in a positive light or a negative one. If that makes me judgemental so be it, but I know, as a parent of teenagers my job is to guide them while they cant possibly see the world clearly and I’m absolutely not alone with my views.
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Sorry Jane I would judge too a 15 year old girl with an 18 plus bloke. Most people would call you a tart….
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Well, that’s a shame ‘Anonymous’, that you feel that way. I am now 32, and the only person that has ever called me/ insinuated that I was/am a tart is yourself, an anonymous commenter who knows nothing about me. Perhaps reflects more accurately on your own values, than mine?
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Jane they would never tell you to your face. Just behind your back.
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but not the 18 year old boyfriend??? (no offense intended Jane).
To both anonymous’s, I sincerely hope your judgemental attitudes aren’t contagious.
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Let’s put aside the fact two people having sex shouldn’t be labelled ‘tart’ ‘slut’ whatever.
What is the difference between a 15 year old having a 15 year old boyfriend and one who is 18? How does that make her tartier?
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15 years old girls are legally not allowed to have sex period. Secondly the boy at 18 can be in plenty of trouble for having sex with a minor.
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Try prosecuting that one Natasha. Unless said 15 year old goes along with it, nothing will happen.
Oh and you’re comment about sex underage being illegal is true, but it sure happens with monotonous regularity.
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You might not agree with it (I agree with you) but in Australia, the legal age is 16.
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Firstly- I was 16, and my boyfriend was 19. Secondly- where did I say that we were having sex? How do any of you know that we were having sex? Because I was going out with an older boy? Because I was in year 10? Because he was picking me up from school in his car? That is the only information I have provided, yet from this it has be assumed that I was a minor having sex, that my boyfriend was breaking the law, and everybody at the time thought I was a tart. Seriously?? This is exactly what is wrong with people who are judgmental, you think it’s OK to cast your judgment, to make assertions on peoples character, without any information or facts to back it up. Thankfully, this is just a forum, where anybody can say anything, and not even have to put their name to it, so I could care less who thinks I was a tart or not, I know I wasn’t. However I honestly feel for the people who actually associate in real life with those who are so quick to judge, and have to wear these ‘labels’ and ‘assumptions’ placed on them without the need of any factual evidence.
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My comment was not directed at you
It was at a previous person who commented that teenagers aren’t emotionally equipped to have sex. I was just pointing out that in Australia, it’s legal to have sex at 16, regardless of their emotional stability. People grow up at different rates and everyone is ready for different events in their lives at different times.
My apologies if you thought my comment was directed at you. This might have been my error or a MM issue. My apologies
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No problems at all, sorry, my comment wasn’t aimed at you either, yours was just the last of all the comments under my post, and there was no option to reply to any of the others. I don’t normally comment on these things, so it was probably a mistake on my behalf.
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It wont do anything apart from trying to “keep the school image”. School girls never want to get pregnant- it just happens.
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It doesn’t just happen. They have sex – unprotected or protected but something goes wrong with the contraception – condom breaks or they don’t take the pill properly. Then they get pregnant. People need to understand that if they have sex there is a chance they will become parents. If they don’t like the idea of being a parent then they need to keep it in their pants.
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Haha I knew someone would say this. Yes I agree with you 100% but what im saying is that it isnt going to stop them doing it in the first place. If getting pregnant isnt scaring them off then the threat of being home schooled surely wont.
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‘People need to understand that if they have sex there is a chance they will become parents. If they don’t like the idea of being a parent then they need to keep it in their pants.’ YES! I totally agree! And the last time I said that I was labelled a sexist pig?? Go figure, no idea how I targetted it at any gender…
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When I graduated Year 12 in 2005 there were 5 girls in my class who got pregnant and/or had there babie’s duing Year 12. They ALL graduated with a HSC, some even went to uni.
The reason these girls succeeded was because the school provided them with support! There was a nursery established where the girls went to feed and change the babies, they were allowed to take them to class, and our year advisors and the canteen lady babysat if the girls needed to go to class alone. A positive support system is a far better solution then shunning the girls.
It is sad when babies have babies, but at the end of the day it has always been happening…and will continue to happen.
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Great comment ‘It can be done’. What you say is so true.
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Thank goodness there are some schools who actually support the young girls who find themselves becoming mums before their education is completed. I have been saddened and shocked by numerous comments from women who are obviously mums to teenage girls – i wonder how many of these women have had unplanned pregnancies but in the safety of a marriage or long term relationship but find it acceptable to judge young girls who find themselves in the same position. I fear for their daughters should they happen to let their mothers down!!
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Um hello, am I missing something here?
By the time a high school girl is pregnant, the horse has already bolted.
Why dont they instead think about education programs for parents to make them aware of the risks involved in allowing their young teenage children (boys and girls) too much freedom and let them know that when their 14yo says say they’re going to a ‘party’ what they are REALLY up to. Of course not every 14yo goes to parties where sex, alcohol and drugs are the norm but I know that amongst the kids whose parents are relaxed with boundaries it is very common.
I dont know of anyone at my school who actually became pregnant, but there were always rumours about girls becoming pregnant and having abortions. It is sad to think that such young girls found themselves in these situations. And yes there were the girls whose parents gave them a lot of freedom.
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I think that the ‘story of Delhi Charter School has hit the media this week’ might be a bit dated – they changed their policy last week.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/08/08/la-charter-school-changin_0_n_1758097.html
There’s a school in most cities that have on-site child care in Australia, so I don’t think it’s just an American issue. I know some schools in South Africa rewards students for not getting pregnant and turning up on time, which might be a better approach, rather than punishing them.
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It is a private school. And it’s not like a lot of private schools here which ‘politely ask you to leave’ when they find out your pregnant. The girls still get home schooled which is a heck of a lot better than a lot of girls who would drop out and never finish high school.
It’s a bit barbaric to have forced pregnancy tests, but if it acts as a deterrent for 16 year olds getting pregnant perhaps its a good thing.
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I have had it explained to me that they take public funds but operate separate to the public schools. So not actually a private school. Sort of an independently run public school, still governed by all the state school rules, so they can’t make rules like this for the kids.
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I went to a private school & I can assure you they can make these rules. When I was in year 11 they asked a girl to leave because she was pregnant.
Private & Catholic school are partly funded by the Federal Government plus high school fees. Public schools are funded by state Governments & a small amount of school fees.
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My point was that Charter Schools aren’t private schools. They’re public schools, funded by the public school authorities, just not governed by them.
So actually, they can’t make rules like this for the kids.
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Yep, even in Australia this happens. When I was at high school in the seventies/eighties girls got pregnant and had babies. One came back, most didn’t. It was a Catholic school so they tended to kind of um-disappear but the rumor mill always let us know what was going on. There was no public lynching involved (i.e. pregnancy testing in front of teachers) thank goodness.
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We had a few disappear “to the old country” or just leave after a while too. Public high school, big migrant population (so generally conservative), 80s-90s.
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Parents need to teach their daughters how to respect themselves and their bodies. Firstly children should not be having sex.. How is it your child is having sex. Where is the parental supervision? You need to instill morals into your daughters. If you teenager comes home pregnant and unsure who may be the father, you have failed as a parent.
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…and the boys bear no responsibility??? moral judgement only on the parents of the girls involved??? are we in the 1950′s???
wake up. it takes 2 to tango.
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It does take two, but boys will always take what’s on offer, don’t offer and they don’t get. Ingrain in her head that she is a treasure not to be shared around. Respect …
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And teach boys to respect others and themselves. Just because something appears to be “on offer” doesn’t mean men and boys never have to show self control and walk away.
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Jeez Matt – I hope that I am able to teach my two boys to respect themselves and others a bit more than that.
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The daughter always shamed as she is carrying the baby. Unfair but part of life.
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And morals into boys as well. That women are not to be used for their pleasure and entertainment and that girls are not to be judged as worthy based on their appearance or ability to please men sexually. This goes both ways. Girls AND boys need to be taught about respecting themselves and respecting others.
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Single Boys like men will always try to gain sex on offer. Period.
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Right, so boys are a lost cause, nothing can sort them out, so don’t bother trying. We’ll just blame girls instead.
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Oh yes, because girls wander around offering sex to boys. Conversations at the lockers always go along the lines of:
Girl, approaches boy – “Would you like sex”
Boy – “Yes, sex would be nice.”
Clearly, it is the girl’s fault if she gets pregnant. The boy and his sperm play no vital role – definitely not 50% of the work.
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Yeah, and it’s not like he can choose to wear a condom /sarcasm
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Look I wrote a huge response to this but in the end I was just too disheartened to finish it.
You can still have the insult though – “Do piss off, you pious twat!”
Sorry that’s all I’ve got. Your argument is ridiculous.
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yup. wow.
I can’t believe these responses. In this day and age.
That girls bear all the moral and physical responsibilty and judgement for sex and pregnancy.
The boys aren’t responsible for their own actions, and should bear none of the judgement. They’re incapable of showing respect, making reasonable decisions for themselves, or others, and basically can just be let off the hook for their actions. boys will be boys, after all.
I despair, truly.
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If your daughter is pregnant & unsure who the father is well then your daughter is loose with her morals and her parents are at fault
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Where in the article did it mention “your daughter is pregnant & unsure who the father is”? Try to stay on topic, try to make a meaningful contribution to the topic, stop being a troll.
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well for one thing, nobody has brought up the situation where the father is unknown – only you. Just because a girl is pregnant, doesn’t mean she doesn’t know who the father is.
And besides:
maybe she just has different values/morals to you? That’s allowed, you know. Your judgement of somebody else, reflects only on YOU. Your judgement does not equal fact.
maybe she was attacked? nice one. is that her fault too?
If your son has made a girl, or maybe, he thinks he might have made multiple girls pregnant (or at least there’s a possibility), what does that say about HIS morals, or YOUR parenting???
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I dont have boys so I cant comment
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you can’t comment?? oh please, you’re not the parent of other people’s girls, yet you seem entirely capable of judging both the girls, and their parents.
Certainly you should be able to imagine what your response would be if you had sons who got girls pregnant! And judging by how you’ve responded so far, you wouldn’t pass any judgement on your sons:
“Single Boys like men will always try to gain sex on offer. Period.”
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Really? Parents not responsible if their daughter pregnant and unsure who father is…
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Sounds bad, but I suppose the situation is different in the US? When I finished school not one girl in my year level had been pregnant (that I know of…). Is teen pregnancy more prevalent in America? and why?
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According to MTV being ’16 and Pregnant’ or a ‘Teen Mom’ is VERY VERY popular over there.
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I finished school two years ago and by the time my year cohort had graduated, there were about 6-8 girls who had babies (they didn’t finish school).
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Each state in Australia has at least one school with child care facilities as far as I’m aware, so I don’t think it’s exclusively an American thing.
In Australia you can get your own medicare card from 16 and I imagine many girls are accessing contraceptives (or abortions I suppose) without having to pay the full price or go through their parents, which I don’t think is a likely situation in the US because of the way their health care/family planning clinics work.
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Yes, teenage pregnancy is more common in the US then in Australia. It is decreasing though, thought to be due to the move away from abstinence only approach to sex ed in schools. Basically, until recent years there was a huge gap between what was being taught in schools (abstinence with no education on contraception and safe sex) and what young people were watching in popular culture which is highly sexualised. Not to mention the prevalence and ease of access to porn ( 65% of 11 year olds have been exposed to porn)
Australia has only managed marginally better stats for both teenage pregnancys and for what we are teaching in schools.
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How sad…
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