Do you remember playing tip at school? Did you play sports like basketball and football? Did you ever give a friend a hi-five?
And could you imagine if that wasn’t allowed?
Get this. A primary school in Victoria has banned its students from touching each other. That means no hugging, no tag, no sports like basketball…. and definitely no catch and kiss.
This from News.com.au:
Mt Martha Primary School in Victoria is refusing to back down over the policy, despite opposition from parents and child psychologists who have called the policy “ridiculous”, “over the top” and “crazy”.
But principal Judy Beckworth said the community had overreacted, adding: “I don’t see what we have done as unreasonable.”
“They are given time to reflect. It’s like a counselling session,” she said.Ms Beckworth was ordered to undergo her own counselling by the Victorian government after threatening to cut the school’s curriculum if parents do not make voluntary payments.
Year 6 students were this week removed from the oval after they protested about the no-touch policy, which ends on Monday, and were given a “dressing down”.
Is that fair enough? Or is it completely ridiculous to stop kids from playing together?
How about this for another school rule… A former chief justice of Australia’s Family Court has suggested making parents of bullies accountable for their child’s actions.
Alastair Nicholson said schools should also be held legally responsible for student bullying, even if it takes place after hours. He said stronger laws could prevent bullying from occurring.
This from The Herald Sun:
Mr Nicholson, one of Australia’s most respected legal figures, believes tougher laws could be crucial in the fight against “insidious and dangerous” bullying.”If there’s one thing that makes people tend to be cautious . . . it’s the fact it might cost them a lot of money,” he said.
“If schools know they have a responsibility outside the gates, and if parents know they perhaps have a responsibility as well, there could well be consequences that would cause them to be a bit more careful about what their kids are doing.”
Do you think banning kids from touching each other will prevent injuries at school? And what about bullying – will making parents and schools responsible make any difference? How have rules changed since you were at school?
Comments
97 Comments so far
No? No sports? Why not?
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My son went to a school like this last year in Kindergarden. It was stupid and ridiculous and he was forever in trouble for hugging friends or ‘touching them’. I pulled him out and he now goes to a little 110 year old public school in the north west of Sydney without the politically correct fun police in the way.
Of course bullying is not tolerated, but at this school there is no bullying. Kids get into trouble for the usual stuff but it’s dealt with without any fanfare. Kids are free to be kids. Boys can be boys. The teachers understand that kids like to run, roll around on the grass, swing from trees and play old fashioned games like hopscotch or elastics, run a muck in the sandpit and chase the free range chickens. Yes, free range chickens!
But wait for it, it gets better. Dogs are permitted at school, and perish the thought no need for leashes either. And guess what? Parents don’t complain, they all live on farms so they are more relaxed than the usual city folks are. How farking fabulous is that! On walk to school day kids brought along snakes, goats, horses, dogs, guinea pigs – you name it, we had it! I like to think of my son’s school as a little time capsule that has been untouched by the fun police where hugs and kiss chasey are all normal activities for 5-12 year olds.
It reminds me of my primary school growing up, and it’s worth the travel time to get there and back each day.
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My children have been bullied on a number of occasions and I have addressed it on each occasions with the parents. Only once was it dealt with appropriately where the parent disciplined the child and they were made to apologize. One particularly memorable occasion, my son was consistently being bullied while I played team sport, by the children on my team mates (group bully bonding by excluding and persecuting someone else). It included name calling, insults and hitting him with sticks etc. I sent an email to the parents concerned asking them to pull their kids into line. Not one of them gave a toss. One parent told me to get my son babysat while we played sport if “the kids were going to behave that way”!!! So, I can’t take my child to a public park while I play sport, because you don’t want to address your child’s hideous behaviour? Not one of those children were made to apologize. Parents have very different priorities and parenting skills. So while you raise your kids to be caring, kind and considerate, those traits aren’t even a consideration for others. I definitely think the parents should be held to account for their children’s behaviour!
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I feel deeply sorry for this school’s principal. This whole scheme/policy has been taken out of context, quite clearly. Her temporary policy may not get the results she wants, but at least she is trying something new to stop bullying behaviours in her school. Noone ever made a real positive difference by playing it safe. Sometimes you have to try something radical…
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Just to play devil’s advocate for a moment… I think people are presuming that all “touching” in the playground/classromm is nice and caring and showing affection and concern for their peers. But unfortunately the reality is this is not always the case. Yes there are plenty of beautiful kind and caring children in schools. However the other reality is there are also so mean and nasty children in schools.
Speaking from first hand experience (yes I am a teacher… so please dont tear me to shreds about my grammar as i have had a glass of wine!) there are children who do hi-5 each other in a mean and nasty way. They ‘pat’ other children on the back as a put down. They also wrestle and tumble around in the classromm and playground when they shouldn’t. I can see where the school is coming from if this is what is happening. Because guareteed if your child was hi-5ed in a bullying way you would be up at the school. If another child was been too rough and over zealous when “hugging” your child and hurt them you would be up at the school. And rightly so. So maybe just think that the principal does have ALL children’s interests at heart?
And yes it is sad that these extreme measures need to be taken… What is todays school coming to if you cant even hug your best friend? But also what is todays school coming too that bullying is such a problem this action needs to be taken?
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Bullying is an issue that comes from the home and no amount of nanny state overprotection will stop it in schools.
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You are right Nano, unfortunately most kids are product of their home environment… in my experience if the kid is an arsehole, then at least one parent is even more of an arsehole. Some parents attitudes about bullying and behaviour management have left me speechless.
But that doesn’t mean schools should stop trying to break the cycle. I don’t believe in giving up and I would hope most of my fellow teachers would take the same stance.
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RIDICULOUS. I am speechless.
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I have problems with our reactions to bullying. As a teacher of many years of course i saw bullying in action and took action about it. BUT other than punishing the bully there was also a long term program to do with the victim to increase their self esteem.
For the past 25 yrs I know my school always called the bully’s parents to the high school and involved them in any program occurring.
What has happened? Surely this process is still in the dept of education (NSW) advice sections?
Recently I went with my son to his daughter’s school to talk about her cyber bullying. She(at 13) had commented on face book about another student. She was placed on lunch dentention by the school, her parents banned many things, but the best thing of all was the school councillor speaking to her. Because, like many kids her age, she had little concept of how these comments hurt. She was devastated and has done many things to make up to the girl in question.
Not all bullies are little deviants!!!!!
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I still have not read any article which clearly explains WHY this rule was brought in at Mt Martha. I do wonder if it was instituted in response to a serious injury, or something similar. I did read somewhere that it was just a short term thing to end this week or next.
And as a parent with a daughter who is being relentlessly bullied at school I would LOVE to see parents being more responsible and accountable for what is going on and what their child is doing. Being bligthly unaware and/or unconcerned just adds fuel to what their child is doing.
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As a parent of a child at Mt Martha PS, I fully support the principals decision. Prior to the strategy being implemented on a trial basis children had sustained serious injuries on the playground during rough play. Broken collar bones, concussions to name a few injuries. It is great to know that the principal has our children’s safety as one of her priorities!
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So how does one explain to kids why footballers and cricketers and netballers et al hug and kiss each other when something great happens for their side?
Why are big people allowed to do it, and little people aren’t?
Crackers.
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It sounds like the staff at this school have a major communication problem, if they cannot explain to children what sort of behaviour & touching is not appropriate in the playground, ie: no pushing, then how the hell can they explain fractions?
Banning something is the easy way out.
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I’m sorry, you can explain and explain and explain until you are blue in the face and *some* kids still won’t take any notice of you. If a particular group of kids have taken it upon themselves to be little so & so’s, sometimes banning things for a short time is the only way to combat the problem. Who hasn’t confiscated something or banned a behaviour at home at some point? Why should it be any different at school?
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Then the school need to re-assess how it disiplines children, why should the whole school be punished & now nationally humiliated because of a few little shits? I have 4 children, when 1 acts up the other 3 are not punished along with the naughty one. The move is illogical & shows a lack of emotional intelligance on the part of the principal…but thats just my opinion.
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Could not agree more. Particularly the lack of intelligence comment but I would not restrict it to emotional, the decision shows a lack of intelligence all round.
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Sometimes it’s not about discipline, it’s about making a point that some things (like footy at lunchtime) are a privilege and if you abuse the rules or hurt other kids, it can be taken away (like at this school where it was banned for a week). Yes, sometimes the good kids get things taken away because of the bad kids, but that happens at hundreds of schools across the country every day. Teachers try to be fair but sometimes things become a blanket rule because of repeat offenders.
I can’t be bothered re-typing my response about the touching thing (it’s been at my school for years), but it’s below if you’re interested.
Just as an aside, the high-five thing may be because the kids were being fools with it and deliberately slapping each other in the face at the end of it….
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The main word that I can think of in this situation is UNHEALTHY………what kind of children will emerge from this creepy enforcement is the real question…………This hints at some kind of moral agenda and this should never be allowed to impact on these children’s natural development.
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I’m a kindy teacher and I can tell you most of the injuries that we see at our school usually involve only 1 child- tripping over from running, falling from the monkey bars etc The no touch policy wouldn’t prevent injury with those cases… maybe we should ban running and to be on the safe side, walking too. I can just see it now, all of us on those hovering machines from Wall-E (sorry to those who haven’t seen it!)
Lets let kids be kids for the little time they have. A broken bone heals and is always a great story when they get old and grey and can no longer do anything!
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Grapes were banned from my primary school (late 70′s) because someone slipped on one on the lino floor in the corridor.
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Well, I have to say, I kind of get that. Every grape I’ve ever met has been a sly, tricky bastard.
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Funny you should say that. Our kids school has banned running anywhere except the ovals or playgrounds. They’re also not allowed to have boyfriends/girlfriends, or touch each other. None of these rules is a raging success.
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I think the word ‘bullying’ is being thrown around too much these days. My sister recently called me asking for advice regarding her daughter who was being ‘bullied’. After listening to her, I said “She’s not being bullied, she’s just having an argument with her friends.’ This is part of life and part of growing up (clearly I’m not referring to the obvious/serious cases of bullying here). I think schools and parents need to back off the ‘bully’ word a bit or else it looses its seriousness. If someone’s just being slightly mean (like ALL kids can be) or groups of friends are arguing, it shouldn’t automatically be labelled as bullying!
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I agree. I also think kids need to learn appropriate behaviour for what to do when they don’t like someone (perhaps something like treat them respectfully, try to get along, accept that you won’t like everyone and that everyone won’t like you – don’t be mean, but don’t feel like you have to like everyone). Sometimes I get the feeling that kids are being taught that it’s not ok to dislike someone, or find someone annoying or irritating. They must be friends with everyone. Not sure if this is positive.
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I agree! As awful as it is to see your child upset, having arguments with siblings and friends is a normal and unfortunately necessary part of growing up. Bullying however is something else….
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I remember when I was in high school in year 10 and was hugging my boyfriend at the time. A teacher yelled at us to let go of each other. We said we were together and she said “I don’t care, you aren’t allowed to hug!” I was gobsmacked. This was 2004.
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My mum got called by my principal, who reported that she’d seen me hugging “some man” outside the school, and that she and the other staff were VERY very concerned and thought my mother should know so she could take disciplinary action. I was 18, in year 12 and the man was my long term boyfriend. My mum just rolled her eyes and never bothered mentioning until about 8 years later! Bless her cotton socks.
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It’s called ‘pastoral care’ and the school would have done it because they didn’t know who he was. If there *had* been an issue your mother would have thanked the school. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t.
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This no touching, no ball games thing is ridiculous. My boss and I were discussing this- kids shouldn’t be so wrapped in cotton wool. Playing ball games, touching each other when playing tip, it’s great for development and socializing. When I was at primary school (not that long ago) we got new play equipment, including monkey bars. The first week, 2 people including my sister fell off and broke their wrists/arms. I broke my wrist at school- falling down some stairs. Kids will be kids, you can’t expect them to not get injured at some point in their lives, it happens.
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You know what makes the whole bullying issue even harder? When the bullier’s parent is a mutual friend and all the other parents are begging you not to make waves, then you find out that the bullier’s parent is encouraging the bullier to be a total bitch to my child. I am at my wits end, trying not to make waves, but the shit is going to hit the fan very soon if this issue is pressed even further. Really seriously considering making this whole issue a police matter.
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Not make waves? Not make waves? You know what – start making waves. Start making gigantic it would be crazy if you surfed it in Hawaii waves. Talk with the other parent, talk with the school BUT most of all talk with your friends and tell them how their “dont make wave” comments are bloody ridiculous.
My kid was being bullied (by a “friend”) and I was friends with his mother too. I sat her down and we talked it out. Both boys are still friends and I’m still friends with the mother.
Turns out a little insecurity on the part of the other kid was all that was responsible for his horrible behaviour.
MAKE WAVES.
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The parent is a mutual friend & they are encouraging the bullying? Sorry but anyone who would assist or ignore the bullying of anyone’s child should not be considered a mutual friend!
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My kid is currently being picked on by another toddler – who would believe that it starts so young! The Other Mum and I are friends. The Other Mum and I sometimes disagree on what happened, but she knows and respects the fact that I won’t let my kid get pushed around.
The way that I figure it, I am the first, biggest, loudest, most long term advocate of my child. No one else will ever look out for her interests the way I do (well, one day the right person might but in the mean time it’s my job). It’s hard, but this is actually a really important thing for you to do for your child, in so so many ways.
All the best, because it is a hard situation!
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Make as many waves as possible!
I remember being bullied by “friends” when in primary school and 10+ years later, it still plays on my insecurities. It was almost worse than if it had been a designated bully – I was too quiet to say anything, and given we were “friends” people just took it as children’s jokey humour but they were definite bitches, culminating in one girl throwing a can of soft drink over me “accidentally” and a boy telling me he’d push me down the stairs if I attended the same high school as him.
In other words, kids can be cruel – do whatever you can to stifle it
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One of my kids was getting bullied by her friend, whose mother was a friendly acquaintance. I let the school handle it. Maybe a good thing because her mother was in complete denial over her little darling.
The rest of the time, any kids whose parents were friends, I managed to agree withthheir parents to discuss any concerns we had about our kids first up.
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I think this is a little bit of a knee jerk reaction. However it is a rule that the school has made and it is for a week. The lAck of respect for authority that is being taught to these children by the ensuing storm that some parents have chisen to create, is a bad bad lesson for their lives. There is so little respect for authority in our society, and it is bred from within the home. Get over it your not running the school, if you were you could make the decisions. Respect the ruling even if you would have followed that path yourself and get on with being concerned about real issues that will affect your children.
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I think way too much is being made of this (for example the football ban was only for a week – media beat-up anyone?). We’ve had a ‘no touching rule’ for years at our high school. Teachers aren’t idiots, we apply the rule when it’s necessary (like when kids are being rough, unkind, or on the flipside, need to ‘get a room’) and turn a blind eye when there’s no problem with the contact. The rule is merely there to back us up when things are getting out of hand.
As for the no football etc., it’s probably because the school is sick to death of parents whinging about their kids uniforms being damaged or the kids getting hurt.Trust me, most people have *NO* idea how many petty complaints are made every day. What do parent expect when kids play?
As for the school being held responsible even ‘if it takes place after hours’, he can take that idea and shelve it – when, exactly, would parents be responsible for their own kids?! (and yes, I have 2 of my own!).
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Oh, thank goodness. The lone voice of common sense.
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Thank you, B! Exactly what I think. Couldn’t have said it better!
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What the …? I just don’t get it. What sparked this? There must have been an “incident”? What is it attempting to achieve by only being valid for a couple of weeks anyway? What are we telling our children about touch and how to relate to people if we are telling them it’s wrong and bad? Anyone who says they don’t get why it’s unreasonable shouldn’t be in charge of kids.
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If what we are talking about is prohibiting children from touching each other at all… that just seems so…. WEAK.
What exactly does this teach them? That we can’t be bothered guiding you on what is appropriate and inapporpriate?….. We can’t be bothered managing the indivduals (or perhaps their parents?) who present the ongoing problems?
I find this approach incredibly sad. Not to mention plain lazy. I feel demoralised when I hear about blanket approaches like this from schools. I experience a real sensation of dread about parenting over the next couple of decades – not only am I up against the few other parents who don’t give a shit, I am also up against this kind of mad thinking from schools etc.
I always check with the other parents, but I truly enjoy letting my nearly 5 year old engage in rough and tumble play. It is good for them on so many levels. The main one being “progressive consent” and comfort level of himself and the other party. Respecting his friend when s/he has had enough. He gets to know himself, what he likes & doesn’t like. And when he has had enough and how to SAY SO.
It takes TIME to teach children how to grow up. Not a blanket rule essentially banning fun and affection. What a bummer.
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I’m just home from attending kindy with my little one and watched proudly as my 6 year old son comforted his friend with a hug and pat on the back after his friend had been hit in the face by a football at recess.
I may be wrong but I’m pretty sure it was the football that hurt his friend not the hug that my son gave him. (Oh and I’m not for banning footballs either).
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good for you. We need more parents that think the way you do
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I was a bully at school. The insidious kind who threw out bitchiness and excluded people but seemed nice as pie to teachers.
It makes me sick to the stomach when I think about how awful I was and I still agonise over why on earth I did it.
I don’t seek to excuse what I did, but I think it is important to try to get to the bottom of why.
Ultimately I think it was an armour – by being the bully I wasn’t going to be the weakest link that got bullied. The ppl I bullied were always weak in my mind, it was that weakness that made me really angry at them, ‘why aren’t you just being a bitch back?’, ‘why do you keep trying to hang out with me?’, ‘get your own life’.
I know I sound like an awful awful person, but these were the sorts of things that used to go through my head. There were a couple of girls who just got in my personal space and the more I told them I didn’t want to hang out with them the more they tried. So they copped it from me big time.
Did I have my own problems? Hell yeah. Did I comprehend at all why I might have being doing what I was doing? Nope. Would someone pulling me up on it have changed my behaviour? Hell yes. I never saw myself as a bully until years later – I just thought I was someone who fought with girls at school because I didn’t like them.
I’m putting all this out there because I think it’s rare to hear what goes on in a bully’s head and if we can get to the root of that, maybe it can be part of the solution.
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You sound exactly like me as a child. Weak children really frustrated me and I don’t know why. They would frustrate me further when I would be unkind to them and they would still be desperate to be my friend.
I hate the way I behaved and now constantly badger my daughter to be kind to everyone (she is a very kind child so my badgering is pointless).
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You should be so proud of yourself for this post. I think it is important to remember that “”bully” is just a label, it doesn’t have to define the child or even the adult. I hope that schools begin to get to the root of the problem, not just bandaid it…
Thank you for sharing
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It makes me laugh in all its glorious impracticality. How pissed off are the teachers going to be having to police that one in the playground!
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The parents of the bully have to admit the child has a problem. This is the biggest hurdle. How many parents complain about the behaviour of someone elses child but think their own child is a perfect little angel? Lots! I had a mum complain to me last week about her poor little child and how sensitive she is. I wanted to say, well honey, thats not the story we hear, the other kids are scared of her because she is a bully. But couldnt do say that could I? My kids are capable of being mean to other kids and if I heard they were being mean I would try and fix the problem. Parents need to look at their kids honestly.
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Hmm, no touching for children is just plain ridiculous. Humans need physical contact, especially children. By not promoting ‘acceptable’ contact as ok, is this generation going to be a group of callous automatons? I know, that statement was over the top.
I feel that this rule will frustrate children into more verbal and internet/text bullying. I have seen some really terrible things kids write when they think noone else will read it.
On that note, holding parents responsible is a great idea to some extent. From experience (four kids 15-23) when parents have been made aware of what their darlings have said/done (including my own) the greater proportion are horrified, truly sorry, take responsibility, encourage the kids to take responsibility and make amends etc. The others are as awful as their kids and these are the ones that probably need some counselling or therapy to get over their own issues. Wow, that was harsh. Sorry!
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Children (littlies especially) are very tactile and often feel very natural about expressing feeling through touch. If the principal is genuinely concerned about reducing injuries through a no-contact policy, then I’d be interested to see how many kids have been injured from a hug/high five or other gesture or similar. In regards to the contact sports – injuries can and will occur and sometimes kids need a reminder about responsible play. But getting hurt is part of life and a learning experience in itself. The injuries mentioned seem like relatively the ones you often hear about. They can occur anywhere – school, home, out in the community. The one time they never occur is when a child sits does absolutely nothing. That is even more damaging in my opinion.
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I agree. This policy would have far reaching impacts on the socialisation of children that would extend into adulthood and society in general if instituted in all schools. I dread to think of what would happen if kids thought that touching was not ‘ok’.
I was pretty much brought up like this and it took years to shake the destructive programming during which it was impossible to start relationships with the opposite sex.
Use common sense to stop bullying through observation. This policy is just pure laziness.
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‘Injuries can and will occur and sometimes kids need a reminder about responsible play. But getting hurt is part of life and a learning experience in itself.’ Wouldn’t it be great if the parent ACTUALLY thought that instead of blaming the school?!
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I think this rule is just ridiculous. The principal, Judy Beckworth, claims it is a ‘safety’ issue – that’s great that she is concerned for their safety, but what about their social development??? Isn’t that a major concern?
I also think that play is essential for kid’s learning – it is important for them to test and learn their limits and how to safely interact physically with others. How will they learn any of that if they are not allowed to play and essentially ‘practice’ this skill at school? Kids hurt themselves, that’s life and is part of growing up. I think it is far more dangerous to try to prevent accidents by forbidding physical contact than it is to break a bone during childhood.
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I would LOVE to see parents held responsible for their children’s bullying. I do believe that schools do their best – most have zero tolerance to bullying – but there’s little they can do about it when the kid goes home and is bullied by their older sibling/parent, showing them that it’s OK. From my experience, even when schools attempt a joint parent/teacher program it is often the ‘weaker’ parent who agrees, not the one that is causing the trouble in the first place. We need tougher laws, accountability and help for the poor damn kid learning, essentially, how to be a bully for life.
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I agree
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Absurd and unrealistic. Bit like cracking an egg with a sledgehammer really. Plus what a great way to give kids all manner of interpersonal issues and hang-ups.
My guess is this isn’t the only school though. I have heard of it being a rule at another Melbourne primary school.
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Too ridiculous for words.
They will be creating a bunch of people who go out into the world afraid of the human touch. How very sad.
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Ms Beckworth’s actions have angered me so much, I have had to rewrite this comment five times!
(1) A school is not the principal’s kingdom. He/she is not the reigning monarch.
(2) The notion of any child being “counselled” about touching another student in a benign or accidental fashion by Ms Beckworth is making me feel physically ill.
(3) I think this policy is actually damaging to children and could cause anxious children more anxiety.
(4) Education departments everywhere seem strangely reluctant to remove school principals. There has been a case locally where the principal is a manipulative and belligerent bully to staff and parents. Numerous complaints have been made to the department and to local MP’s and the local paper, staff resign and students leave, but she is still there.
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So true. I have left teaching because the principal and ‘head mentor teacher’ scared the freaking bejesus out of me. They were so excited to have their own feifdom to reign over, never mind that it was meant to provide an education to students (an egalitarian, public education, I may add), and a professional and stimulating work environment for staff.
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The Principal at my school is the biggest BULLY I’ve ever met. She has destroyed staff morale and many of the staff are terrified of her. Some of us have tried to deal with her but you just end up on her hit list which leads to an awful day to day experience.
I’m off on Maternity Leave for the next few years and am crossing my fingers she retires…She’s been there over 15 years and the school has suffered terribly!
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a “no touching” rule would ban games like hand-clapping games, ring a round the rosie, leap frog and wash the dishes.
silly burearucrats getting in the way of fun.
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If this rule had been in place at our high school there would have been a lot of us in trouble all the time! I remember they once said boys and girls had to remain a rulers length apart at all times….we weren’t very good at measurement!
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I went to a very religious (and in many instances, homophobic) Catholic school. There was a long standing rule that girls and boys had to stay 30cm apart. So ironically, when one of my female friends got herself a girlfriend, they technically weren’t breaking any school rules by being very affectionate with each other
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This Beckworth woman sounds like she’s a law unto herself….does this school have a board of governors or a PTA who are endorsing her actions, or is she acting on a whim?
However, I do agree that parents should be held responsible for the childrens bad behaviour. They’ve inflicted these brats on the world in the first place, they should deal with the consequences.
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I imagine this rule is being enforced to protect the students. I think the rule and the principal’s statement have been taken out of context and sensationalised by the media.
It was probably initially a basic blanket rule of ‘don’t touch others’ which I don’t have a massive problem with- prevents sexual assault, hitting, etc.
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No touching is just weird.
The bully situation is an attempt to do something about the issue. But the truth is the problem usually is the parents fault to some extent, or the behaviour has at least been nurtured or ignored by the parent which allows it to continue.
Anyone who has taken the courage and tried to deal with a child who is a bully or who has anti social behaviour by confronting the parent/s will likely agree with me that it is usually met with outright denial. The child denies it and the parent believes them or doesnt want to see it. Making parents take their goggles off is the first part of the process. I dont know how making parents pay for a problem they wont see is going to solve anything. It may just make them more arrogant. I think schools need to be more honest with families about their childrens behaviour as a start. I know kids who are absolutely horrible but their schools have never told the parents the true extent of it so they just think its funny.
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When i was in primary school the policy was for us to come in after lunch and put out heads down to just have a calm moment or two. after about 5 mins of this, we had to write a short note. On this note, we could write if we had experienced bullying or witnessed any during lunchtime or over the course of the day. Everybody had to write something- so if you didn’t have anything to say you just wrote a joke or something of your choosing. I still remember how effective that system was because it was a continuous but completely anon means for the teacher to know what was going on. If anything came up in the notes, very discreetly would the involved parties be removed over the course of the arvo and the matter would be discussed. Needless to say bullying was never a big issue- the anon voices of 60 classmates meant nothing slipped by. I wish they had kept that going for highschool- could have avoided all the bitchiness!
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That sounds like an awesome idea!
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Our school has a few basic rules, one of which being ‘hands off’, which essentially means no rough play, observe other childrens’ personal space and physical boundaries and resolve conflict without violence. It doesn’t stop the kids from touching each other playing tip or holding hands (if they want to) or hi-fiveing each other, it’s just a guideline to help all children (especially the very little ones) understand that hitting and invading person space is not on. I can’t see how a rule forbidding children from any kind of physical contact would be sustainable. Either the principal is insane or this is a beat-up.
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I spent a good majority of Grade 2 making human pyramids. So I guess that would be out too?
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Oh, I remember doing that! It was fun.
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In regard to the bullying issue, fining parents is not the answer. I was bullied through primary school and I became a bully in high school. I was still bullied by a group of girls in high school, so I knew how shitty it felt and yet I still did it to others. Bullying behaviour can be bonding for bullies. We need to create a culture in schools where bullying is not cool and bullies are put in place by their peers – instead of the peers joining in and laughing with the bully so they don’t become their victim. Parents and schools need to enforce anti-bullying strategies instead of turning a blind eye or putting it down to ‘just being kids’. Bullying is a massive issue – it causes such mental anguish, it can prevent a person from getting an education, it can completely change a persons personality and it can lead to suicide.
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I was bullied at school and from my experience (and those of my friends) I have realised that although almost all schools have a ‘no bullying policy’ very few actually step up when an incident occurs and take action to try and prevent it from happening again. For me, it got to the point where the teachers agreed that the bullying “should not be happening” and “was wrong” but none of them actually did anything to make it stop. The girls involved were given very light punishments, and although threats were made about more severe ones, the school never followed through. While I understand that it is difficult to control students’ actions, I always felt betrayed that nothing really seemed to be done about what was happening.
Therefore, I think the suggestion to make parents accountable for their childrens’ actions is a good idea. I love that this school is sending a clear message that bullying will not be tolerated and that there are actually consequences for it. I think parents need to communicate with their children that bullying is not okay (because in too many instances I feel like bullies’ parents laugh the matter off as “kids being kids” or see it as no big deal). I think this policy really drives home the issue that bullying is not okay.
While the policy seems extreme, so are the effects of bullying. I’m 22 now and long out of that environment, but the insults those bullies said and the way they treated me still have an impact on the way I see myself today. I am constantly surprised when someone wants to get to know me better because I spent many years being excluded and picked on for things that I couldn’t control or change. I have a sense of not being ‘worthy’ of things and that I am not good enough. I am aware that I have got off lightly in the sense that others were bullied much worse, and have far deeper scars (both physical and psychological). Therefore any policy that highlights how wrong bullying is, and takes serious steps to eliminate it, sounds great to me.
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totally ridiculous! I would have removed my child from that school.utterly disgusted!The principal or others who made this laws should be removed from the school and sent to psychiatry ward!
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There’s no point suing someone if they don’t have any money and it can cost a considerable amount of your own money to sue in the first place. And the person you’re using may not actually have any money left after legal fees anyway. So financial responsibility may not actually help that much. Criminal responsibility, or perhaps involvement of DOCS when serious bullying situations are identified might.
The most disturbing part of the article about no-touching is that the principal does not see anything wrong with the rule banning any touching at all – even to comfort a friend if they have been hurt. A temporary ban against rougher sports may be appropriate – though even then perhaps we should be more tolerant of children having minor accidents at school when they voluntarily want to participate in sport like activities that inherently carry some risk.
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Presumably it’d have to fall under Public Liability laws, so it’d be covered by the same scheme bullying/negligence claims currently fall under.
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Currently people sue the schools, not the parents who do have insurance (or are backed by the government who will pay). Most parents would not have insurance which would cover claims like this.
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This is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. So disgusted I can’t even say much more. Disgraceful.
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Expecting children not to touch is completely bonkers!
I say YES to making parents accountable for their children’s bullying actions.
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Typical media beat up. The sports stuff is for a week only ( although not sure about hugging stuff). Guess that ain’t so headline grabbing?
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Children won’t have opportunities to learn and practice what is appropriate touch, and positive or negative touch in various situations if they are never allowed to touch. Making something completely forbidden, when its not necessary and there are other options, rarely ends well.
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I think ‘ok, no hugging, fine’ but when I see it’s extended to stopping kids from playing team sports, then that’s going too far. Team sports are an important part of growing up, I know that during phys ed class in primary school we would get divided into teams and play soccer, basketball etc, then we could choose various sports to play as a team against other schools. Does this mean that students in this primary school are no longer allowed to participate in championships against other schools?
I would honestly remove my child from a school that goes that far to prevent kids from touching one another, and I understand a lot of kids would get confused about it because they’d go home and high-five siblings and hug their parents.
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But why is ‘no hugging’ OK? No punching, I agree with, and other behaviours like that. But if two kids want to hug, what kind of school policy bans that? What, no group hug after winning the sporting contest? No hugging your best friend who’s parents are getting divorced? Honestly, (to sound like a total old fogie), ‘What is the world coming to????’
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Media neglects to emphasize the ban is for ONE week. The school seem to be scrambling to address a bad spate of injury over a one week period. Let’s not turn this into more than it is.
With regard to bullies, I think done parents do like to bury their heads in the sand, but if we are not at school to police it ourselves we are heavily reliant on schools providing us specific information about bullying incidents. Some schools are more diligent in this than others.
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Oh!!! That changes my perspective a lot! Can’t believe that was omitted.
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“Alastair Nicholson said schools should also be held legally responsible for student bullying, even if it takes place after hours.”
What happens outside school hours is the parents’ responsibility. The school system is to educate kids, not raise them.
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