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She's a suburban mum of three. And a former soldier with an extraordinary story.

By LARRISSA HUGGARD

Neryl and her son Kane in 2005.

WARNING: This post features explicit details of sexual assault that could be distressing for some readers. 

Looking at Neryl Joyce’s smiling photograph as she hugs her sweet, blonde-haired son Kane, you’d never guess she was anything other than an ordinary, suburban mum.

But the truth is, the 41-year-old Perth woman has a very complicated past – she is a former Australian Army officer and former private security contractor who’s toured Iraq — and her 13-year military career has now inspired her to share some explosive allegations of drug abuse, sexual assault and alcohol-fuelled parties.

In her newly-released book Mercenary Mum, Joyce details her journey from joining the army at the age of 18, to eventually leaving young Kane (whose name means “son of the warrior”) in Australia to work in Baghdad for a powerful security company.

But as she quickly learned after being deployed to Iraq with her all-male team, it wasn’t easy being a woman in a man’s world.

Both subtle and not-so-subtle forms of sexism were prevalent, she claims in the book.

“As a chick in the Army, one of my priorities when deploying is always to locate a toilet,” she writes. “Men tend to forget about issues like that, as it’s so easy for them to find a wall and just go for it.”

Joyce also describes how as a woman, she had to be “above average in all areas of the job in order to be thought of as equal to my male counterparts”.

Neryl during Close Personal Protection training in 2003.
Source- Supplied

“The Army was filled with fit, strong, testosterone-fuelled men, and I needed to be ‘special’ in order to be accepted into their realm,” she writes. “It wasn’t a rule or obligation; it was just something that you did to gain credibility as a leader in a male-dominated workplace.”

She left the Army to become a bodyguard for a private security contractor, a lucrative but dangerous job that saw her return to Iraq.

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It was there that a fellow private security contractor — whom she describes as “an opportunistic, serial rapist” — allegedly spiked her drink and raped her in her room.

While the perpetrator was fired for the attack, charges against him were ultimately dropped due to lack of evidence — and Joyce largely struggled alone with the emotional weight of the attack.

“Nobody knew though, that I couldn’t sleep at night without the light on… No one knew it was two in the morning before I’d finally fall asleep,” she said.

“There was no way I was ever going to admit I had any kind of problem as a result of my rape.”

 Watch Neryl talking about her book, here:

Joyce finally returned to Australia in 2007 – “It was time to be a mum and let the warrior woman sleep”, she writes about one of her returns to Australian soil – and says she is now living “the best life I could have ever possibly hoped for”.

About to leave for a Red Zone mission, 2005

She’s now married to Paul, who she met in Iraq, and the pair have three happy children between them – and while Joyce says her journey has not been an easy one, the family’s future is bright.

“Life is full of heartbreak. Life is full of challenges and sadness. It is how we deal with what we are handed that makes us who we are,” she reflects.

“We can either succumb the pain of it all, or fight for a better future. I chose to fight,” she says.

“With Paul and our children by my side, I know that I can face anything.”

Mercenary Mum, by Neryl Joyce, published by Nero, is on sale now for $29.99. You can learn more about Neryl Joyce and her book here.  

 If this post brings up any issues for you, or if you feel like you need to speak to someone, please call the NSW Rape Crisis Centre on 1800 RESPECT (1800 424 017). It doesn’t matter if you do not live in NSW, or even in Australia, they will take your call and, if need be, refer you to a service closer to home.