Every once in a while a video comes along that makes you reconsider how you see yourself.
This is one of those videos and Jess is an amazing young woman that we want to introduce you to
This is Jessica Smith. She’s a 26-year-old Paralympian and bulimia survivor who’s working tirelessly to promote positive body image and be a healthy role model for young Australians.
Jessica was born without her left forearm; despite this, her sporting success started at the age of 10 when she was selected to represent NSW at the state school swimming championships. In 2004 her sporting dreams were realised when she was selected to represent Australia at the Paralympic Games in Athens.
But during what seemed to be the best years of her life to her family and friends, Jessica’s self esteem suffered. At the age of 16, Jessica was diagnosed with major depression and bulimia.
She starved herself so much that her organs almost shut down, and she tried to take her own life twice during her struggle.
Now, Jessica works tirelessly to promote positive body image and is a motivational speaker. She shares her story simply with the goal of helping others realise that life is a journey and unless we have experienced a little sadness and heartache we often can’t truly understand happiness – but when you have, you realise that happiness is a choice and an attitude, and it’s up to us to make that choice for ourselves.
Comments
69 Comments so far
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Really moving post, jess.
But as a serious question- doesn’t telling women to stop hating their bodies tend to locate the problem in women rather than in the advertising and modelling and fashion industry. I often feel that I’m not the one who hates my body: tv execs, advertising execs and fashion designers are (ok hate might be a bit strong- but they are the ones who marginalize and stigmatize it by giving bigger bodies different labels and status) just a thought. But good on you regardless.
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I watched my little sister go through anorexia, I watched my parents & her drs do the best they could to get her better, she has been in recovery for over 6years now. She falls but then my parents catch her every time,
I have a 5 year old daughter & I do not want her to think she is not beautiful just because she carries a little extra weight or has something different about her.
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I am a recovered sufferer but thinking of that time of my life, and being reminded of the torment always gets me emotional. Thank you, Jess, for contributing your experience to the ‘stop hating your body revolution’. I have often wanted to give back to the cause but don’t know where to start. I think sharing our stories of recovery are valuable in that they give sufferers hope. Recovery is a long journey, but is possible with persistance. I am a very happy and content person but it took me about 10 years to get here. And I appreciate life all the more because of it. So, to sufferers I would say, persist at your recovery. Take baby steps and be patient. One day, like myself, you might surprise yourself and find that there are things in this life that are worth fighting, and living, for.
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Oh Jess, how wonderful you are. I battle with bulimia/anorexia on a daily basis & have share similar experience of near-organ failure. I too attempted my life twice last year & ended up in intensive care both times & survived. Sometimes it feels like I’ll never recover – but I look so “normal” now that it’s hard for me to even take myself seriously for the most part.
I blog at http://stethescopesandivlines.wordpress.com about the ups & downs.
Thank you for the wonderful work you are doing. You are a wonderful woman.
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Wow. That was amazing. Thank you for sharing your experiences with us Jessica. These are demons I battle with on a regular basis – as a matter of fact, this morning I jumped on the scales and was immediately depressed. This is despite the fact that my body can do amazing things – play state league netball, dance, stretch etc etc. I worry regularly that my boyfriend will leave me for being “too fat” despite the fact I am nothing of the sort, all because I’m not, and never will be, skinny. I ain’t designed that way.
Rationally, I know how silly it is to think that way and that I shouldn’t let the constant media bombardment get to me, but it really is very difficult sometimes.
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Hi All,
Jess here … I just want to firstly say thank you for all the messages of support
I am extremely grateful and very humbled.
I noticed a few comment on here asking HOW I got to the point of being content with my body …. As I’m sure many of you are aware Eating Disorders are extremely complex … so too is recovery. For many years I was in denial and I didn’t want help – even though I had family & friends encouraging me to get better – I wasn’t ready. But when I finally did seek professional help my recovery journey began. In the beginning I relapsed many times. I wanted a ‘magical pill’ I thought going to rehab would fix everything …. then I realised that I have to work on my recovery EVERY SINGLE day … recovery for me is life long. But I was ready to seek help and I admitted that I had a problem.
There is no easy way … and after more than a decade of negative self talk, I now have to retrain my mind to say positive things. There are still days where I wake up and I have negative thoughts .. but they are becoming less and less … and each day does get easier. I don’t have all the answers … all I can do is share MY story and hope that by doing so I can encourage other sufferers to find the strength to reach out and ask for help and support.
Please be kind to yourselves and treat your body with respect.
It is only natural that we as humans want to look and feel good. It’s when we become obsessed that it starts to become unhealthy. There is nothing wrong with wanting to wear make-up or nice clothes, if it makes you feel confident and comfortable. It’s about listening to the positive thoughts and calming the negative thoughts.
Please also know that I am not a professional so I can’t offer counselling or medical advice … I can simply share my own experiences.
But at the end of the day … I am just human – I have good days and bad days. I am just so very grateful to be alive and to be in a position to share my story. Thank you all so much. xx
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Really awesome. Thank you Jessica.
The image of the toddler in her nappy on the scales had me in tears.
I’ve recently been sooking about how unexpected the early-showing is in my second pregnancy, and still carrying the dark (v aging) pigmentation on my face from my first. I feel hideous. But the image reminded me if my little girl ever felt like this about herself it would break my heart. And I sure as hell don’t want her learning how to feel bad about herself from me.
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Really beautiful Jessica – both the clip and you. Thank you for this message. I have a 5 year old son and a 3 year old daughter and I want them to simply love themselves. They ARE perfect and they will always be perfect. I just hope I can help them know that. What an amazing woman you are. Thank you.
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“Stop hating your body.”
Sure, I’d love to. But how, Jessica?
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work on yourself.
replace crappy thoughts with realistic ones. With repetition, it works. “I hate my thighs” vs “my legs do everything need them to and I’m glad I have them”
Tell yourself that when you’re 50, you’ll look back and see how beautiful you were, how much your body could do, and what a waste it was to hate it.
Then look at the photos of the girls in India whose faces were splasehed with acid by spurned lovers.
And thank your lucky stars.
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This is going to be perhaps a radical thing to say, but even on Mamamia I find the message of body image is contradictory.
So here’s a post on body image and loving your body and I know there are a lot of them on here. But there was a post on wearing control undergarments (http://www.mamamia.com.au/style/to-spanx-or-not-to-spanx/) that hide your true body. Then there’s all the beauty posts “How to conceal those dark circles under the eyes” (http://www.mamamia.com.au/style/how-to-conceal-those-dark-circles-under-the-eyes/) , 3 awesome age defying makeup tips (http://www.mamamia.com.au/style/zoe-foster-tells-us-3-big-anti-ageing-makeup-tips/), “How Zoe Foster learned not to be a slob on holidays” (http://www.mamamia.com.au/style/how-i-learnt-not-to-be-a-slob-on-holidays/) or “Yellow teeth? Here’s how to make them look white.” (http://www.mamamia.com.au/style/yellow-teeth-heres-how-to-make-them-look-white/). And there are probably others.
So I should love my body just the way it is, but I should hide my body behind Spanx, have white teeth, defy my age, hide my dark circles and not ‘switch off my glamour on holidays’. And there are many other posts on here telling women how to use make up (reiterating the message that woman need to spend time and money on their appearance).
If we are to love our bodies just the way they are, doesn’t that mean accepting everything about them? Not just the weight we may or may not carry but also our dark circles, our freckles, our stretch marks, our scars, our face without make up on, our whole self.
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Hear hear
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Yes, I agree. I was thinking the same the other day.. not trying to be rude or anything, but it is contradictory…
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And don’t forget the contradictions on photoshopping – the website sets itself up as anti-photoshopping and then posts a picture of deborah hutton who’s been airbrushed beyond recognition and says “doesn’t she look great”.
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Hey anonymous,
It’s a complex issue and I think you’ll find many people are still trying to work out where they stand and what they think.
Some of the posts we publish – many, including that one from me about deb Hutton which I later clarified – are opinion pieces. Not every author speaks for the whole audience of Mamamia.
We are not robots, just people trying to do our best and make a difference in whatever small ways we can.
If you are looking for contradictions and inconsistencies you will always find them. See my above point about being human.
But we will continue to try.
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Something to ponder: Isn’t make up ‘photoshopping’ our appearance too?
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Mia I know you are a big supporter of positive body image. But I think make up is just another way for women to change the way they look in order to feel better about their appearance, and I would like to challenge that thinking.
The women we see in magazines are not just made slimmer, but any scars, pimples and ‘flaws’ are removed. Their entire appearance is altered and I know there are often articles about this.
But then to post articles about using make up to cover ‘imperfections’, isn’t that just ‘photoshopping’ our appearance also? Make up is used to hide ‘flaws’ and accentuate or create unrealistic features. Make up sends the message that it is not OK to have flaws.
I would love to put a question out there to women. What if you were to go a whole week without make up? Could you do it? If not, why not?
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I disagree. I think of make up of a way of enhancing our individual look, not covering it up. And as we live in an aesthetic world, why not try and look your best. Look good Feel Good. Cancer patients have this course and let me tell you , they come out feeling most positive about themselves.
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Bravo. Anyone out there at mamamia willing to reply ? Like yr site but honestly you promulgate the same ideals in beauty a fair amount of the time too.
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Perhaps it’s just about finding some balance?
As I age I am finding I do accept my body for what it is more easily, flaws and all – and articles like this interest me and help with that.
At the same time, I also shamelessly admit that I love makeup and fashion and enjoy reading articles about both.
I think you can still love your body and yourself without the concealer and spanx but that glamming it up sometimes can also be fun… liking and reading about both needn’t necessarily be contradictory.
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Jules I agree 100%
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But why does make up & Spanx help you to feel glammed up? Why can’t you be glammed up without them? And does that mean you do need these items to feel glammed up?
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Because people can look rather bland without a little make up. Why not sparkle a little… Why not look good and feel great.
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I think people look beautiful without make up. Why not look good and feel great without it? As you said we live in an aesthetic world, but that is fuelled by beliefs that you don’t look good unless you are size 8 and wearing make up. Unfortunately as using make up is not seen as a problem, it is never something that will be broached as one. Yet using make up to make yourself “look good” is the same as losing weight to make yourself “look good”. Yet one is seen as a problem and the other is seen as not a problem.
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I love this and want to share it with every girl and woman the world over. Twice.
I hope you are reading this Jess to see that you really HAVE started a revolution.
x
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Jessica, this was beautiful. You are amazing. It’s devestating that our society places so much pressure and expectation on how we look, rather then important stuff like our moral character.
I work with adults with a disability both physical and intellectual and they truly are the most beautiful people I know inside and out. I recently took my newborn son in to meet them and it just hit me how much they love and yet they are often so vilified in our society purely based on their looks.
You a an inspiration and a role model xxxx
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Absolutely beautiful Jess-hits home for me after having an E.D when i was 16-demons with food I am still battling at 22. You are exactly whO should be in our magazines and on TV. I only hope the world is evolving to be accepting of ourselves and everyone around u’s-prejudice brings nothing but hurt.
Best of luck on your endeavors-you will only have support!! Xx
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i dont think anyone really knows the extent of this problem in society. Many people are very very clever at hiding it, i know this because i do it myself. Im naturally thin but like being skinny rather then just thin. i just do. i dont have anorexia or bulimia, but every now and again if i eat too much cake or chips or whatever i go to the toilet and throw up. sometimes i do this 3 times a week other times i dont do it for months. i usually always watch what i eat and make sure i eat healthily but yes im usually always on a low-carb, low-fat type diet… i think of it as a lifestyle choice but. People think its just a disease that affects self-conscious teenagers but im in my early twenties and have 2 degrees and and consider myself highly intelligent, socially aware and very confident and outgoing. i dont have depression and was raised in the most loving and non-judgemental family possible that never commented on peoples physical appearances. i have a busy and active work/life. No one in my life has any clue, i know its not the healthiest choice but its just something that has become normal. I often wonder how many more women are like me.
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Anonymous- you’ll realize this in your own time but what you described sounds exactly like the thoughts my sister finally aired, when we discovered she had an eating disorder. Before she was ready to face it, she tried to rationalize her thoughts and behavior. I felt terrible that it took me a while to realize, but as you have articulated- it can be very easy to hide.
I wish you peace in your journey. When you are ready to face this, surround yourself with loving people to help keep you on track xo
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WOW…..amazing, inspirational……just WOW
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This video has truly left me speechless. It is so perfectly amazing.
Jessica, your beauty is utterly indescribable….both inside and out you are nothing less than inspirational and gorgeous.
You have created something very special in this video…something that I truly believe has the power to ask women to examine themselves and hopefully stop shaming their bodies…even if it’s just for a few moments.
Thank you for sharing your beauty with us.
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I have 3 small children. Two are girls, aged 6 and 4. I am terrified for them. Being a little girl is hard enough sometimes without all the rubbish they are exposed to through various media.
I can affect what they do and how they feel about themselves now, but what will happen when they don’t believe me any more and care more about what other silly girls and boys think than those that really know and love them. I can’t agree more strongly that we need to address this as more than an unimportant concern. Whether you love yourself for yourself affects your WHOLE LIFE. Many of us have struggles with accepting ourselves for years and years. I am now in my 40s and mostly respect myself, but it is such a shame that this acceptance had to come after years of potent self doubt, which no one can deny is not helped by the impossible images we are supposed to conform to
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Amazing. My 13 year old daughter just got home from the beach and is feeling down about her body. She was with some stick thin girls and was comparing herself to them. How timely that I just happened across this and then also Jess and her parents were just on The Project tonight. I’ve showed my daughter the video. We’ve had a few tears. Thanks for sharing this great piece Mamamia.
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Loulee, tell your daughter not to worry. All through my adolescence I was constantly told I was too thin and I “needed to put weight on”. The problem was I tried! I was one of those stick thin girls too that actually felt really uncomfortable about how skinny
I was. It goes both ways.
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A stunning and talented girl, I don’t get how she would get that message?
Stupid advertisements are just trying to sell stuff. She needed older role models to make her realise beauty is so superficial, it’s what you do with your life, don’t have to be a clone, and why do so many young girls want to be one anyway?
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Just watched it – so brilliant
this message needs to be spread widely – in schools, sporting clubs, hospitals, youth groups, everywhere.
Well done Jessica
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Jessica – as a mum of a teen and a tween girl – thank you so much for this video. I’ve shared it with them. They think you’re gorgeous (and awesome). So do I.
My girls need more role models like you. xo
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Thanks Emma. x
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Yes, I think you’re very beautiful.
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Best thing I have seen for years. Congratulations Jessica. I have goosebumps!
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Thank you for this. I think something in my head shifted watching this. Wow.
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I Would prefer to see Jessica on the cover of a magazine, sharing her story, rather than the likes of “the body”.
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Crying. My Mum was always on a diet and referring to herself as fat when I was little. I have battled two episodes of anorexia, each fight taking me years to win. I damaged my body to the point that I developed osteoporosis at the age of 26 and after I was married, to undergo fertility treatment to fall pregnant. I am now very fit, strong and healthy, but it seems that the demons are still there, in hiding. I’m blessed with 3 children, the youngest my two year old daughter. Each morning, she now wants to get on the scales like Mummy. I never want her to suffer what I have gone through and that image of the little girl brought home to me the damage I am passing down to another generation. I’m throwing the scales away now.
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Excellent kate do throw them away. You might doubt your decision when it’s hovering over the bin but it will be the best gift yiu can give yiur daughter (and yourself!). Hugs
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Can’t imagine how hard that must be to do Kate but I think it’s amazing that you are so inspired by your children and find strength in your role as a mother. Be kind to yourself!
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I love this story – I just hope our 16 year old daughter will get to this point of acceptance soon. her eating disorder has rocked our family – she was very competitive at sport too and stopped everything to realise this ‘thin’ perfect body.
I wish for her glow, bubbles, laughter and health back but we know it will take months, even years.
Thanks Jessica. You have made women proud.
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All the best for you all burra5!
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The hardest thing for me in watching this video is I kept thinking, but YES you ARE beautiful!!! Look at that smile and eyes! And then you mention scars… well in most of those photos I could barely see them, but if I didn’t know to look, I would have missed them because Jessica, your smile is so engaging!!!
I am so sad that you felt so awful about yourself, when your body is an amazing machine that can swim like it can (I have both arms and can’t swim like you). it is so sad that the media’s voice is stronger than your family and friends!!!
You are so right, Jessica every person’s body is beautiful, because it is unique, it can do amazing things and no matter what it has, or hasn’t got, it is yours – so love your body, be grateful for it’s uniqueness, it’s curves and flats, it’s bumps and grooves cause no body has a body like you!!!
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Thankyou
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Amazing – Inspirational – Motivating – Beautiful.
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Amazing.
Absolutely amazing.
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perfection and beautiful are luckily not the same thing COS NONE OF US WOULD BE BEAUTIFUL…well maybe miranda kerr… she is a genetic freak, bless her…seriously, that is great Jess. You are definitely beautiful, but more than that, heroic, fit healthy caring strong. Take those over perfection any day. You are right – we need to stop hating our bodies. Great message.
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Wow, finally something like this. Made me exhale anxiety… I’m not perfect and it’s fine, now I just need to accept it and then real life and beauty begins.
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Just lovely!!! <3
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Fantastic to this sort of diversity in body image. Haven’t watched the video yet but will do so on my computer.
Thanks for the article Jessica and MM!
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You’ll love it Carly!
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Wow – I have one arm like you Jessica . I loved seeing you in this video because I never see anyone like me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks
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She is very inspiring. I am definitely interested in hearing more about her story though.
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what a great role model for young women!
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This is incredible – made me cry
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Me too. Powerful
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Jessica you are truly an inspiration. What an important message and thank you for being brave enough to share your story and help others.
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Wow, this video sends a very powerful message ! It brought me to tears ….. Jessica, the world needs more people like you that are prepared to stand up and make a difference. I have a 7 year old daughter, and as the world is today, with the out of control narcissism and negative body image, I am scared for her future. I don’t let her go near scales, I do, however, talk to her instead about healthy eating choices and having fun with her sporting activities. She is 7 for gods sake, she needs to be a child – as we all know those years go by so quickly. If we all start talking more and making a positive stand (however big or small), hears hoping that the future won’t be such a scary place.
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I have 3 daughters- my eldest is now 8 and i also worry so much about this Fi!
My eldest is also bald- she has alopecia and at 7 lost all her hair, eyelashes and eyebrows- so I am SOOO fearful of her future. We are doing our very best to make sure she is positive and happy in her skin, but their is that big but….who knows how she is going to feel when magazines/comercial TV and her peers become more and more important.
My brother is getting married later this year and I am constantly sickened by his fiance who is a young 21 year old, is so obsessed with her appearance, already having false eyelashes and wanting tooth whitening, obsessed about dieting and models….makes me thankful to have made it to 36 and finally feel ok about my own body (even the yucky stretchmarks), but our girls have such a long long way to go!
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Eee,
i was also 7 when i lost all of my hair to alopecia. My mum had the same fears as you, but it made me a stronger person and shaped me in ways that no one would have imagined. if your daughter would like to speak to someone who has been through a similar experience, i am more then willing. good luck to you and your family x
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Hi Anon, lovely to get your reply. It would be lovely to hear of your experience, in particular anything you wish your parents had or not done for you. Stella has had one year of wearing pretty scarves I made for her and asked for a wig at the end of last year- that we happily organised (expensive/ a lot of work to look after though) but she really does love to wear it to school- and it really does look pretty. She has worn her scarf to school a few times, so we feel happy that we are not using it to “hide” her condition- but that she has a choice. We also take her to a lovely child psycologist- to help us be sure she is doing ok inside and out. She is such a brave kid- she doesn’t think she needs it, but we felt like it was a good move for her to get used to going/normalising it just in case we hit a hard phase as she grows up. Stella pretty much hates all the other treatments, so far we are trying DCP from the dermatologist and the Fusion Herbs- and before that vitamin d, c, fish oil to help her immune system (trying to make her as healthy as possible; i know there is never going to be a magic cure) Trying to take a ballanced approach to all that is really tricky- everyone wants to tell you of something that worked for someone they know. And the kicker with alopecia is some people get lucky and some dont! One thing that does keep comming up from all and sundry is the gluten free diet; it is really annoying me now- Stella point blank is refusing to try it and while I understand and respect it; I am also her mum who wants to try and make her better!! And take my responsibility to ensure my children are healthy and eat good food, get enough sleep, excersise very seriously! And one more question; does anyone else in your family have alopecia, my husband has AU, he lost a patch at 12 and it was all gone by age 15- lucky bugger got through the primary years at least…but it was still tough/ but sounds a lot like you, has got on with life pretty dam well, married 11 years, 3 girls & good career- love to hear back from you
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This is SO much more interesting than the Biggest Loser trainer bitching she’s fat….
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Couldn’t agree more!!!
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With all respect – I don’t think Tiffany Hall (Biggest Loser Trainer) was bitching about being fat at all. And who are any of us to say that she can’t have body image issues like the rest of us. The media has portrayed a certain type of look as desirable & she obviously doesn’t feel that she fits it either. I think females are each others worst enemies, maybe we need to start taking some of the responsibility for body image also instead of blaming it all on the media. I can honestly say that I have judged other women on the way they look, particularly when it comes to weight gain, and as embarrassed as I am to admit, even pregnant women on their weight gain. I’m not proud of it, and now that I’m a little older i’m more conscious of it & accepting of others. There’s noone i’ve judged as harshly as myself though, having weight issues my whole life. I was brought up in a society where so much value was placed on how you look. This started in primary school when I was bullied for being overweight.
I now have a 1 year old daughter & the image in the video of the little girl on the scales breaks my heart. It has never been more important to me to live a HEALTHY lifestyle & stop worrying about weight & striving for PERFECTION. I am good enough, just the way I am. And so are all of you.
Thank you Jess, you are beautiful and amazing and inspiring. Keep up the good work! And if there’s anything I can do to help support your message, please let me know.