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miasunday Mamamia: The Book Diaries #2

So these past few weeks I’ve been doing magazine interviews to promote my book and to go with some of these interviews, I have had to do some shoots. And while swanning around photographic sets and studios may sound like a box of chocolates, for me it’s not. Don’t like it. Never have. Write about it in my book.

If that makes me sound ungrateful or spoilt or whatever I’m sorry but I just don’t like all the time it takes to get hair and make-up done and then lighting and then…ugh, I’m getting antsy just typing it all out.

It’s an oddly passive thing having your photo taken. And also oddly tiring. Which is weird because you just sit on your arse and get stuff done to you and maybe that’s why it makes me tired because it is all very mind-numbing.

…and while this may sound impossibly glamorous and fun, if you gave me a choice between spending several hours in a studio having my hair and make-up done and then being photographed, or going to the dentist for a filling, I would cock my head to the side a little bit and then ask for some thinking music.

I DISLIKE IT THAT MUCH. The weird part is that this book is pretty personal and I’ve been very honest and so much of my gripe with the media these days is about the way they portray women. So now, in my bid to publicise my book, I am having to be complicit in that very process. Which is weird and sits a wee bit uncomfortably with me (even though I am grateful to those editors who have supported me and the book by running stories about it).

Still, I’m not a fashion model or an actress, I’m a regular person who wants to look like myself. But that’s not how mags work. When you appear in a mag, you have to look like a better version of yourself. That’s the fantasy. I wish I could just get over it and enjoy the playing-dress-ups aspect of it. I’m conscious though, that I want the image that comes across to be authentic. Me. And me is not all Alex Perry.

So I’m having a lot of conversations with stylists and art directors and editors that go like this:

me: “So, um, what’s the concept for the shoot?”

them: “How do you feel about being shot in a jacket with nothing underneath?”

me: “……….”

them: “Mia? Are you there?”

me: “Um, do you think I could wear jeans?”

And this…with my friend Paula who knows me backwards and upside down and is kindly shooting me for her magazine, Madison…

P: “No, you cannot wear your jeans and trainers.”

Me; “Of course not. Um, really I can’t?”

P: “I promise it will be you, just a bit more dressed up”

Me: “Oh, so jeans with sparkly trainers?”

In the end she was divine and let me wear jeans and a t-shirt and and bare feet. I LOVE that woman.

Anyway, because I passionately believe that we all do far too much comparing of ourselves to other women and the last thing I want is for anyone to feel bad about themselves after looking at a photo of me like this one after I’ve had 19 hours of professional attention from a crew of 17 people.

Which is why I’m going to show you this picture of me having my hair done before the Sunday Life cover shoot (you can see the after shot here):

shoot1 Mamamia: The Book Diaries #2

I would like to think that hanging bit of tummy is my Glamour Model moment but really, I’d just had a big bowl of porridge and three kids and that’s just my muffin.

(below) Here is what happened a lot during the actual shoot – which took half a day. I tried hard not to complain but my bum really hurt and I nearly split my pants. Must Do More Yoga:

shoot2 Mamamia: The Book Diaries #2

(below) And here is what I was looking at for all this time:

shoot3 Mamamia: The Book Diaries #2

And here is how many clothes were brought to the shoot by the stylist (I ended up being shot in 3 outfits, one was used for the cover, one for inside and one got the chop).

shoot4 Mamamia: The Book Diaries #2

This is the outfit we didn’t use and take note of my choice of footwear for all shots……

sunday4 Mamamia: The Book Diaries #2

And here is how many people it takes to make one shot in a magazine….

shoot5 Mamamia: The Book Diaries #2

Also – before I did these shoots, I fake-tanned, had my hair cut and coloured and had a manicure and pedicure BECAUSE THAT’S THE KIND OF NATURAL BEAUTY I AM.

Now. In other news, I have some dates for in-store book signings. Give them a call to book a place and come along to say g’day. I’ll be answering questions and signing books. If you’ve already got a book, bring it along! Bring your friends and your mother!
So far, there are only two in Melb and two in Sydney:

MELBOURNE

TALK & BOOK-SIGNING – TOORAK

Wednesday September 16 – 6.30pm start

Book Street Bookshop

Shop 7 Toorak Place Arcade

521 Toorak Rd, Toorak

Free; Bookings essential on 039826 5710 or email bookstreet@bigpond.com

TALK & BOOK-SIGNING – PORT MELBOURNE

Thursday September 17 – 6.30pm start

Readings Bookshop

253 Bay Street, Port Melbourne

Free; glass of wine on arrival,

Bookings Essential on 03 9681 9255

SYDNEY

MORNING TEA, TALK & BOOK-SIGNING – LEICHHARDT

Tuesday September 22 – 10.30am start

Shearers on Norton Bookshop

99 Norton St Leichhardt

$8 includes coffee and a chocolate and $5 off the price of the book;

Bookings Essential on 02 9572 7766

BREAKFAST, TALK & BOOK-SIGNING – BONDI BEACH

Friday October 30 – 7.15am start

Gertrude & Alice Café Bookstore

46 Hall St, Bondi Beach

$12 includes breakfast

Bookings Essential on 02 9130 5155

I’m also going to be doing a webcast *because I told my publisher that the women who come to this site and read this book don’t necessarily have time to go into a store for a chat. Will keep you updated on when that will be but I’ve insisted on doing it in the eveing – around 8pm on a weeknight when most people have a bit of time to themselves….

*I’m not entirely sure what a webcast is or how it works but I think it will be me live answering questions or being interviewed or something and we’ll stream it. I want audience participation!

I also wanted to say to everyone who has already bought and read the book and who has taken the time to contact me to tell they loved it….well, wow. I am blown away (and enormously relieved) that so many people ‘get’ what I wrote. All I ever wanted by writing this book was to connect with other women – women who have been through similar things and women who just wanted to read my story.

Walking into a book store is so daunting when you have a book for sale because there are just SO MANY amazing books all competing for your attention and your hard-earned money.

So I wanted to say thank you for buying my book and reading it. That’s all.

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141 Comments so far

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    Heather

    Loved your book Mia, in it you say you aren’t comfortable with photo shoots but I’m sure your face graced the cover of at least two Dolly magazines with you as a model, one maybe even wearing a polka dot ribbon in your bobbed hair? I also remember Lisa Wilkinson’s write up of you as being one of the most down to earth models she’s had the pleasure to work with at the time. Please tell me my memory is not going. Loved my Dolly magazines and would have been able to produce the one’s in question had my mum not made me throw out my whole trunkfull when I shifted out of home many years ago.

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    Cassandra

    Hi Mia,

    As a 33 year old “career woman” who now finds herself a new mum of a gorgeous 6 month old baby girl – your book has helped me breath a sigh of relief and realise I am human!

    I’ve just overcome the weaning hurdle and now am facing the big return to work and I don’t know what to do! I feel like baby brain has wiped 13 years of sales and marketing skills and experience I once had! Also, I don’t want to leave my precious princess with just anyone! Would you recommend your nanny agency?

    Thanks for the great read and inspiration!

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      Mia

      My nanny agency has since closed! But I hear Mothercraft and Nannies are good…. Good luck!!!! M xx

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        Heather

        You can also contact your local TAFE and ask them if they can recommend any of their newest graduates in the Diploma of Children’s Services for what you are looking for. They will have a two year fulltime qualification in child development and all aspects of working with children from birth up to six years.

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    MadisonC

    Hi Mia, I love the dress in the top image. Any chance you can tell me where it’s from?

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    Andrea from Adelaide, SA

    Just finished the book….loved it. I laughed, I cried but most of all I related. I am 44 and have no kids but I am in a relationship, work too hard, forget to laugh sometimes and am absolutely going to buy some copies for my dearest girlfriends. Thanks Mia

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    Andrea

    Hi Mia, Just finished your book (bought it Monday, finished it by Wednesday) It was fantastic! I am a first time mum to a 9 month old little man and going back to work in the next few weeks part time, feel guilty about it, but need to for me, and him!

    I just wanted to say that i think u r such a role model for todays women – u r so honest and i love that, i love that u admit that it is hard juggling it all, that not all babies sleep through the night, and that u can be angry at ur partner because u r sad. I am going to be a new follower of mamamia, thanks again!

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    Ingrid

    Hi Mia, Always enjoy reading your column and have just finished reading your book, cover- to-cover I might add (a great stocking filler, thanks!) As a new mum, it made me laugh and made me cry in all the right places. I too had a sleepless baby and went down the Tresilian road. Funnily, I could also relate to the anecodote where you hid in a toilet at your first beauty product launch/event. I too did this and was even further down the beauty food chain than you – a TRADE pharmacy magazine!! Your book made me smile :)

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    Ishanya

    Hi Mia, I just finished reading your book yesterday and I am so sad to have finished it. I have always wondered what it would be like to work in magazines and it was fascinating reading about it from your perspective (especially since I grew up on Dolly and read a lot of Cosmo when you were editor). I liked reading about your family and channel 9 experiences as well. I was particularly riveted by the dodgy/psycho nanny story (I like how you left it hanging by ending a chapter saying how it was a ‘big mistake’ hiring the nanny and not bringing it up again for another chapter or 2). I thought that in the book you had this ability to make some ordinary things seem extroardinary and extraoradinary things mundane. And that’s what made it flow together so well. All in all I loved it. Wishing you all the best for the future !

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    Alisha

    I got your book on Saturday afternoon and it was finished by Sunday night! Could not put it down!! In some parts I was actually laughing out loud which always freaks my husband out when I am sitting on the couch and I burst into laughter randomly! Great book – I too look forward to Mamamia #2

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    NatD

    I thank you Mia for making me feel a part of a tribe, rather than the very very lonely land of Ungrateful and Undeserving Mother. Just finished MamaMia and have been raving to all and sundry. I nodded, laughed, cackled and snorted my way through it in one sitting. I howled at the moon at the obvious parts but also found myself doing that deep, sad cry I hadn’t allowed myself to experienced since I became She Who Has It All.

    Scarlett is my lovely 20 month old. I was so scared of childbirth I almost didn’t have children. I’m terrified of needles so went the Birth Centre path – no needles=no drugs and her birth was AMAZING and liberating. I still maintain breastfeeding is THE most painful part of having babies. I’m not a natural mother so even though Scarlett was an “easy” baby (slept 7pm-7am from 3 months) the first year was like an atomic bomb had flattened my life. Sanity, marriage and sense of self teetered on the brink for a long long time. Going back to work has brought the sunshine back into my life. I no longer feel guilty about my feelings about “Guantanamo Baby” and am a better woman, mother, wife and friend for not pretending its all OK all of the time.

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    LizValerie

    that webcast sounds good!

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    Guest

    Hi,
    Where do I begin? I resonated with your book on sooooo many levels! Fantastic! I’ve never really been into mags or fashion etc – but you managed to tell these parts of the story with such wit and humour (always illuminating the political/social undertones) making it great to read. For me though, the best parts were definately the pre-natal/post-natal bits as I just had my 1st bubs a year ago….So funny to hear somebody else thinking stuff like ‘WTF am I meant to talk about whilst a big german nurse is milking me…Am I meant to talk at all – What;s the protocol here?’ – I really thought I was the only person that had these conversations with myself!!!!!and then on a serious note – your honesty about anxiety and depression was extremely brave – and I commend you for that – it may help lift some stigma from these issues in the future. Sorry for the long message but sooo impressed!!!! Thanks – s ;)

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    Guest

    wow- i am half way through and despite still spending alot of the nights up with my dear night owl (even at 9 months…) I stayed up late last night reading unable to put it down, i know,i sound like an all round rager. thank you for sharing your story, despite not being into the mag stuff,your tales of mothering have touched every part of my heart, i look forward to number 2!

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    GirlNextDoor

    Loved the book Mia, I feel like I have grown up with you…I actually remembered many of your Editors Notes from your Cosmo days, your writing has always struck a chord with me. I gave up on Cosmo not long after you left & was delighted to discover your column, well obviously a while ago now & look forward to it every week. I have only JUST discovered the world of blogging, a bit slow on the uptake I know, but I just didn’t get it until recently. Anyway I really really enjoyed the book, well done & I hope it sells well.

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    Guest

    Just finished your book (bought it yesterday) – never before have I laughed, cried and empathised with a book more…. thankyou for your openness and honesty – very refreshing, only complaint I have is – what am I going to read now??!!

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    Guest

    your book is simply amazing i couldn’t put it down from cover to cover!

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    Nicky Way

    I saw the interview with you on the Today show and then i was off to Port Douglas for a pre baby bliss relaxation week with hubby before my first baby comes. I tracked down a copy of the book at the third place I tried the Port newsagent, the other two bookshops didn’t yet have it and read it cover to cover in 1 1/2 days. I laughed and i cried and nearly peed my pants laughing some more, especially the bits about the labours with your children, I just kept saying to my husband I am in deep shit!! And felt compelled to recount some of the passages to him so he could share and have an idea of what we are up to around 30 October. Such a good read!!

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    Lu

    Oh and all I could think of while reading about Amy was I hope that she has to give birth to quads one day without a sympathetic midwife and no pain relief

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    Sarah#2

    I have been gone for a while because I just moved to London a month ago and have been travelling like crazy but… oh, Mia, how I love you! And how I have missed this site! Can’t wait to get your book sent to me!

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    Guest

    Thanks for your book but should come with a ‘do not read while breastfeeding’ warning as the combination of book and hormones had me in tears a few times! Loved that I was able to laugh and cry with you on your journey.

    I particularly liked the ‘diary of an anxious pregnancy’ as I have also recently experienced one of them (in my case having a second after my first was born very prematurely – 27 weeks). Thankfully due to my determination but more so medical screening I made it to due date the second time around (a miracle indeed).

    Also as a Society and Culture teacher (in my other non-baby life) the insights you provided into the magazine industry makes the book an excellent resource (just realised may be able to claim it off tax – another bonus).

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    Andrea

    Hi Mia, just wanted to say I think you are wonderful, my hubby bought me your book last week. Havn’t started to read it yet but can’t wait. Loved the photos on this page. Andi

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    Lu

    Mia, I’m reading your book. Just read about Cocos birth. I was in pain for you, it felt so real. A good midwife can make such a difference. My first midwife allowed me to have an epidural before labour started with baby no.1. I was being induced and wanted a pain free birth. So she said ‘ lets get that anaesthetist here before the pain starts’. The gel had failed so I was about to have the drip that gets labour going. I thank God for her every day, and after reading your story am glad I didnt have Amy.

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    Megs

    Thanks Kate Too, that’s lovely! xx

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    carley

    Hey, is anyone else having trouble getting through to Shearers on Norton?? I have been calling for days and getting the busy signal…

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    Mel

    Mia
    Thankyou for your honesty, especially talking about the taboo subject of miscarriage. You are truly an inspiration to all women, you are amazing. I related to so much of your book it’s uncanny, I am around the same age as you and I feel like I know you! I suffered a miscarriage 6 weeks ago (first baby) and its been both an emotional and physical rollercoaster – infertility, bad ‘pizza’ skin, oily hair, polysystic ovaries and discussions around IVF.

    I will tell all my friends to read your book and then they will understand what I and so many other women have been through.
    A gorgeous male friend of mine bought the book for me on the weekend because of what I had been through, he is so thoughtful and sweet…you learn how amazing your friends are at times like these.

    I laughed and I cried so much, I couldn’t put it down. I LOVED your book and will read it over and over again and then pass it onto my friends. Thank you xxx

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    Trish

    Sorry typo -’ meet you’

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    Trish

    Mia – I loved the bit about being photographed with just a jacket and nothing underneath for the shoot, your reaction was priceless…!

    I’m a slowcoach reading the book…I’m only a 1/4 way through but what I’ve read so far I’m enjoying immensely. I too found Alanis Morissette’s ‘Jagged Little Pill’ a great cure for the ending of a bad relationship. I use to sing along so loud to it and cry..I loved it but I don’t think the neighbours did!

    I will try and pop along to the Leichhardt launch just depends if I can get Mum to look after my little boy, I would love to me you.

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    Kate Too

    I know I’m being greedy on Melbourne’s behalf as we already have two Mia book events but any chance of a daytime event around Carlton/Fitzroy Mia? Am happy to harass Borders in Lygon St as much as necessary…!

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    Kate Too

    Megs, I’m in the same boat re Mia’s book – dying to read it but not quite in the right frame of mind. Or as you more accurately put it, don’t have my shit together enough at the moment!
    Thinking of you and sending lots of healthy happy thoughts your way for you 19 week scan.
    x

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    Beryl

    Sure does! Fashion designer Prabal Gurung is from Nepal so I’m expecting great things! I will be scouring all the bookshops in Nepal for your book, otherwise will have to wait til Christmas time for the read!

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    Guest

    Pleeeeeeeeeease come to Adelaide!! You’ll have at least two people turn up – me and that other girl who asked. I bought your book 4 days ago, finished it 3 days ago and have spent the past two days stalking this website (in a really nice, silent, non threatening kind of way) Alison :)

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    Cait

    Have not read the book yet to busy this week paying for ballet and music lessons, cant wait though.Love the columm and the before pictures in the shoot, really nice to see a ‘real’ beautiful mum. With my 4th baby now 8 months old those celebrity mum photos are getting a little hard to take. Thanks

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    jo.

    “I would like to think that hanging bit of tummy is my Glamour Model moment but really, I’d just had a big bowl of porridge and three kids and that’s just my muffin.”

    was having a bit of a ‘fat day’ today, and this made me feel so much better, which is hard when you’re a teenager and constantly surrounded by your stick figure friends!
    so thankyou mia :) think ill go have some porridge as well.

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    Megs

    I received your book in the mail last week but I haven’t started to read it yet. I am still battling to get through the fear of being pregnant after 3 miscarriages and I have my 19 week scan next week. I’m not brave enough to read it just yet.
    It’s beside my bed and I can’t wait till I have my shit together enough to dive in…
    I listened to the podcast of you on The Conversation Hour today and it was great! Richard Fidler is such a fantastic interviewer and it sounded like you really enjoyed talking to him. I’ve said this before but – thanks so much for your honesty Mia, I’m sure it helps and connects many more people than you know. xx

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    Angie

    Mia, I just finished reading your book and I wanted to let you know that I also loved it. It was authentic and honest and I related so much to different parts. I was with you for 14 out of the 16 items on your crap list too…
    Thank you for writing it.

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    Stephanie

    Ooo excellent! I need a new moisturiser recommendation. When will it be up Mia?

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    Stephanie

    THANK YOU Mia! Thank you for sharing your “muffin top” with us. I know it doesn’t seem like much but for me it was huge! Finally a real woman showing us what she really looks like and you still looked fabulous!

    P.S. Loved the book too. Read it in 2 days while I was awfully sick-made me feel a better whilst I felt like shite. xx

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    Mia Freedman

    Oh that’s great. Glad you didn’t try to read in the car.

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    Mia Freedman

    Mothers groups can do your head in….sometimes they feel like some shiny happy advertising campaign that you’re not part of! Honesty much more interesting I always find…..

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    renee

    i loved the book, mia – i read it in 2 days when i was meant to be doing my uni assignment.

    as a first time mum, a lot of the bits resonated with me – the sheer astonishment that they let people have babies and then just go home with them, alone… it boggled us. i had milk production issues (mine never fully came in) and it was a difficult time – we got the Tresilien nurse out to ‘teach’ my daughter to sleep as well. it was nice reading about someone else’s honest experiences. i quit my mother’s group because it was all ‘well, alexander has been sleeping 8 hours since he was 2 weeks old’ from the mouth of a woman who had perfect hair and nails and makeup and beautiful clothes and a bugaboo… ugh.

    i digress.

    my point? i loved the honesty in this book – recommending it to my friends.

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    Angela

    I drove for over an hour on Saturday to a town with a bookshop that stocked it, had a mental fight with myself about “should I stay in this town and start reading now whilst my son is distracted by the toy dept in a real store, or should I drive the hour home with book on seat next to me taunting me to get home and lock myself in bedroom for 2 days straight”… I got home (longest hour drive ever) and yayyyyyy… Oh Mia it was fantastic. I finished it and felt SO much better about the whole career girl/mum/life/wanting more babies/wanting promotions thing my brain does daily. THANKYOU.
    I cried with you (and everyone else it seems) and laughed and LOVED. Thankyou for writing exactly what my brain is feeling!! I’m going to read it again & then give it to every girl I know with a smile. Thankyou xxxx

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    Angela

    I loved the Smug/Crap list soooo much, and felt so much better about feeding my son & boyf pizza that night as I had been so engrossed in your book to remember to defrost meat for dinner!!! Yay regular lists!!

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    SR

    Didn’t know this was in the book – I’ve had CFS for 12 years – has made me even more impatient to get hold of a copy…

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    meg

    I’m getting the book from the post office today!
    We live in Hobart now and don’t get included in the big city book tours (in fairness our population is a fraction of that of most other capital cities. so there is no blame).
    When I first started reading your blog, Mia, I literally just read the blog. Now I read all the comments as well and it’s turned into this lovely, inclusive site. A real sense of community is developing.
    Congratulations!

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    Sharpest Pencil

    Yup – current issue page 56!

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    kateinlondon

    How about a trip to London? We could kick off your European domination…we have a spare room if you’re happy to share with a 5 day old. Have put in an order for a copy for the book for a returning friend – can’t wait for the arrival.

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    Kate Too

    Mia, you looked lovely in the shots. But if you dislike being all tizzied up by the experts to look perfect, is it possible to say ‘no thanks guys, I’m right as I am?’. Could you go on the Today show without the TV makeup if you wanted to? I’m just curious really.

    I for one LOVE to get tizzied! But I understand the novely would wear off pretty damn quick if it was a several hours long process that had to be done often.

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    april

    just looked at the pics again and you are so pretty Mia :)

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    Rochelle

    Another vote for Perth! I never considered that you might come here but it would be heaven if you did. :-)

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    Mia Freedman

    I think I had a bit of post traumatic shock after that birth…..apparently is very common!

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    Mia Freedman

    I think it’s the current madison? Lisa Wilkinson said she’d seen it….