Kate Winslet doesn’t want you to get cosmetic surgery.

Vivian Diller Thursday 15 December 2011 9:25am

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Kate Winslet

News about the formation of an Anti-Cosmetic Surgery League probably made most women of a certain age smile — at least those whose un-botoxed faces still allowed them that natural expression.

How refreshing and inspiring it was to read that Kate Winslet had enlisted her British pals, Emma Thompson and Rachel Weisz, for the cause. Winslet told The Telegraph, “I will never give in. [Cosmetic surgery] goes against my morals, the way that my parents brought me up and what I consider to be natural beauty.” Weisz agreed, saying, “People who look too perfect don’t look sexy or particularly beautiful,” And Emma Thompson, the eldest of the three, added, “I’m not fiddling about with myself. We’re in this awful youth-driven thing now where everybody needs to look 30 at 60.”

Following this public proclamation, women around the world have been called upon to join in by taking “The Pledge” against plastic surgery. On Huff Post, author Christie Mellow wrote, “I hereby pledge to not shoot botulism toxin into my forehead two inches from where my brain is housed. I will solemnly pledge to not have chunks of plastic inserted under the skin of my cheekbones and my chin. It might take a will of steel, but I pledge to never let a surgeon pull the skin off my face so he can rearrange and tighten my features.”

Three cheers! Hip, hip, hooray for these three brave British actresses and the women they are rallying in protest against plastic surgery!

But, the more I think about it, the less positive I feel about the whole idea of an Anti-Cosmetic Surgery League — especially one promoted by this trio of famous women. While I applaud them for raising awareness of the problems created by our culture’s obsession with youth, beauty and perfection, and using their celebrity position to make their point of view clear, the impact on everyday woman could actually have unexpected and undesirable results.

You see, women like Winslet, Weisz and Thompson can afford — financially and otherwise — to oppose surgery, photoshop and airbrushing. They were blessed with good genes as well as limitless opportunities to care for their physical selves. Furthermore, they probably haven’t yet experienced their true “uh-oh moment ” in the aging process — that gut-felt moment when the mirror says things are headed south and are never turning back again. Maybe Thompson, at 52, has had a glimpse of hers, but 36-year-old Winselt? Or 41-year-old Weitz? Besides, with their trainers, stylists, fashion and beauty consultants available for constant upkeep, can they really know what everyday women in their 50s and 60s are feeling and thinking?

With women being so self-critical anyway, they just don’t need more to feel bad about. “Immoral” is a strong word, and women who choose to improve their appearance already feel conflicted. They hear, “50 is the new 40,” and if they don’t look and feel that way, they are told to “reinvent, revitalize and rejuvenate.” What follows for most women is ambivalence; a collision of values I call the “Beauty Paradox.” Do we focus on our bodies and faces because it will make us feel better or because we are victims to the anti-aging craze? Are we choosing to look younger than our years to stay competitive — professionally and personally — or have we no other choice in this youth obsessed culture? Should we even care at all, when there are so many other more important things to worry about? ” We have worked too hard and come too far to be so confused by superficial vanity, right?

Well, not exactly. The way I see it, women today are in the throes of an anthropological experiment. We are living longer than ever before, expecting to feel vital and attractive well into our 80s and 90s — with few role models to lead the way. We hear that “age is just a number,” or “it’s mind over matter,” and that our goal is to age with grace and dignity, but what does that really mean? Let ourselves go ‘au natural?’ Become grandmothers and dismiss the importance of how we look, dress and care for ourselves? I don’t think so — it’s just more complicated!

Plastic surgery and non-invasive cosmetic procedures came onto the scene because they promised ‘simple’ solutions to women’s complicated fears of aging. They were viewed as hope in a jar, magic in a needle, transformation by scalpel — especially as they became more refined and easily accessible. But as we watched their rise in popularity, we also witnessed the start of a slippery slope — with increasing over-use, too often provided by non-licensed practitioners, offered to women who gave little thought to their long-term consequences. Then came the botched jobs, the frozen faces and the Joan Rivers disasters.

But, is an Anti-Cosmetic Surgery League the best antidote to a beauty and youth obsessed culture gone wild? Need we condemn those women who opt for dermatological or cosmetic procedures if they chose them to feel better about themselves? Do these famous — and gorgeous — celebrities need be so sanctimonious about it all?

Instead, how about we all join together to become clearer about the choices we have — surgical or otherwise — while we challenge the unrealistic images created by the media and the dangers they present for women trying to achieve them. In the end, isn’t working together against the narrowing definition of beauty — rather than narrowing of women’s choices — our ultimate goal?

Surely this Anti-Cosmetic Surgery movement is related to larger issues that go beyond movie stars, celebrities and the morality of altering their images in life or on the screen. This is not just about Hollywood, but about all women around the world who feel enormous pressure to maintain their youth and beauty in unrealistic ways. It’s about how they can deal with these pressures and find viable means to feel good about themselves at any age. Women are starting to view extreme and radical transformations through cosmetic surgery as a trend to rebel against. The desire for authenticity is beginning to gain momentum — among celebrities and everyday women alike. Let’s support this important movement and all that it stands for. But most of all, let’s support women who stand for the freedom to choose.

This article was originally published here and has been republished with full permission.

Kate Winslet, 36

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Vivian Diller, Ph.D. is a psychologist in private practice in New York City. For more information, please visit her websites, which you can find here and here. Friend her on Facebook or continue the conversation on Twitter. Her book “Face It: What Women Really Feel As Their Looks Change” (2010), written with Jill Muir-Sukenick, Ph.D. and edited by Michele Willens, is a psychological guide to help women deal with the emotions brought on by their changing appearances.

What do you think about the Anti-Cosmetic Surgery movement?