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plan2859 380x570 On my wedding day, I wanted to kill myself.

Child marriage: Lamana was married at the age of 15.

 

 

 

 

 

 

By SINEAD BLESSING

Two years ago Lamana made a decision.

One morning, as dawn was breaking, she gathered her things, walked out the front door and left her husband. Her body was wounded with bruises and cuts from a beating she had received the previous night. Her husband had threatened her with a knife and she feared for her life. This situation wasn’t uncommon in her marriage – she was often beaten and raped for refusing sex or simply leaving the house – but her decision to leave was. She walked to her parents’ house and when they opened the door she demanded to come home.

She was 15 years old.

Lamana is one of an estimated ten million girls worldwide who will marry each year before they are 18. Some as young as eight years old. These girls are not physically or emotionally ready to become wives and mothers and face risks such as complications during childbirth, contracting HIV/AIDS and, as in Lamana’s case, are at risk of violence, abuse and exploitation. Often these girls are forced into marriages against their will, with men who are much older than they are, and who they often don’t know.

When I recently travelled to Cameroon and met Lamana, the first thing that struck me was her physical appearance. Tall and gentle, with long ballerina-like limbs and large almond eyes, she is the type of girl you expect to see on a runway in Paris. Yet it’s her inner strength and bravery in telling her story that held me in anticipation for each of her softly spoken words.

Sinead On my wedding day, I wanted to kill myself.Lamana’s world is one that is very hard for those of us living outside its context to comprehend. In her community, a deprived area of Cameroon’s capital city Yaoundé, females are seen as second-class citizens and exist only to marry and bear children. Only 42% of school-aged children are effectively attending school and most parents are illiterate and attach very little importance to girls’ education.

When Lamana arrived home to her parents that fateful morning she had to fight to be allowed to stay. “My father and brothers were trying to put pressure on me to go back because it was looking like a disgrace for my family”, she told me.

“But I refused and stood my ground – I would not go back to the marriage because it was dangerous.”

After spending the week speaking with Lamana’s father, and other men in the community, I came to realise that the majority of them didn’t think what they were doing was wrong – they were simply doing things the way they had always been done.

Within most of the families in this community, the man is at the top, and women are nothing more than their subordinates. Gender equality is not something they understand or accept.

logo plan On my wedding day, I wanted to kill myself.Yet it is against this backdrop that things are starting to change. I got to visit a new project called Girl Child Education, which is funded through the organisation I work for, Plan International. It is through this program that Lamana and thousands of girls like her are discovering the importance of education and learning that they have rights – equal to their brothers.

In addition, Lamana has also been given the opportunity to attend college, where she is not only completely a Computer Science degree but gaining confidence at the same time.

plan4219 380x253 On my wedding day, I wanted to kill myself.

Child marriage: This is Lamana.

Lamana’s journey does not end with her. After seeing his daughter’s progress, Lamana’s father, who was responsible for arranging her marriage two years earlier, has changed his attitudes – not just toward her but her younger sister.

“My father is always reminding us … don’t think about marriage, think about going to school and about your education.

“My father’s dream is now for his daughters to finish school and get jobs.”

Two years ago Lamana made a decision that changed her life forever. She has shown that with the right opportunities younger generations can play a large part in the development of their communities. Hers is one story but the message is universal – give a girl access to an equal education and you not only empower her, but her family and her community.

Above all else, it’s her human right.

Following an extensive campaign led by Plan, the United Nations has declared today – OCTOBER 11 – the first ever ‘International Day of the Girl’. To celebrate, Plan is asking Australia to raise their hands for girls. Go to Facebook to raise your hands for girls just like Lamana.

Sinead Blessing has one of those jobs that many dream of. She is the Content Editor at Plan International Australia and gets to travel to places like South-East Asia and Africa to meet with, and record, the stories of children and families who are benefiting from Plan’s programs. Sinead wrote this piece for Plan’s Because I Am A Girl campaign which you can find out more about by clicking here.

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19 Comments so far

  1. findingella

    This is the reason I want to become a teacher.

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  2. Brittany

    These things really highlight what is important. Its another case in a long list of cases where people put their own wants and desire above those of anyone else. I cannot understand why anyone would want to do that to another person, but clearly there is no empathy for another human being. It brings you to the pit of despair. I’m not a religions person by any means, but it does get one thinking that we are supposedly in the ‘biblical end of times’, and its probably because we never ever implemented the 2 golden rules that many ancient sages talked about. That is 1. do not do to another that which is hated by you – and then, when we mastered that one 2. Love your neighbor as yourself.
    I can only imagine what a different world we would be in if we lived by those rules.

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  3. Karli

    Thanks for this article – hugely important issue!

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  4. Reality check!

    Makes the “sexist debate” in our country seem so much more petty! Thank you Sinead Blessing for sharing & for all your work!

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    • Anonymous

      I was about to say the same thing.

      Well done Sinead. A wonderful story and fantastic work. I wish we could see our foreign aid money building schools instead f disappearing not the pickets of UN fat cats and despots.

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  5. IrishLaura

    I love this post!! So interesting, and what an exciting campaign to be part of.

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  6. Cath

    Another reason why I am glad I was not born into the Muslim faith. I love being able to chose atheism and live the life that I want even if my family doesn’t agree. That is my right as an Australian woman in 2012.

    Yes I know, some of you will scream at me ‘you can’t say that, not all muslims are bad’. And I concur, but lets face it – this exploitation of girls and FGM is ALL about men controlling women in the Muslim faith and keeping them in the dark ages.

    I wish I could wipe religion off the earth, we’d be a much happier place without disgusting and archaic faith systems.

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    • Daniella

      I don’t mean to be rude but I don’t know where you pulled religion and Islam out of since child brides aren’t exclusive to Muslims. From what I understand about child marriage, it is done because of long standing cultural traditions rather than religious reasons.

      I do agree however with wiping religion off the earth, there’d be so much less trouble and scapegoating.

      Ps, if you’re interested in women and FGM I suggest you read “Half the Sky”. The most amazing book you’ll ever read!

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    • Anonymous

      How on earth did you make that cognitive leap? I don’t think Lamana’s religion was mentioned at all.

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    • Anonymous

      I’m not sure where your idea that all the women and girls who are in arranged marriages are Islamic, while I’m sure some of them are, it would certainly not be all of them.
      looking at the Scarf of the girl in the photo I would guess she isnt Muslim, as it is not a full hijab, she would just be covered due to culture.

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  7. Casey

    Great post. Makes me feel extremely grateful for the life I have, and hopeful for the lives of women being helped by these organizations.

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  8. Lorren

    Brilliant post! Love how empowering women changes whole communities!

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  9. Caz Gibson

    There are women in other cultures to ours who are pleading for our help……..for us to speak out loudly against the abuse and discrimination they suffer……….for the rest of the world to let those with influence in those cultures know that these particular issues are unacceptable in our changing world.
    There’s a few things wrong in our culture too but it shouldn’t be an excuse not to speak up when we’re so able to have a voice.

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  10. Stephanie

    that is what actual misogyny looks like. makes labor’s slurs against Abbott even more pathetic.

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    • No e in Tracy

      As the author said, most of the men don’t even understand that what they’re doing is wrong. It’s as much a cultural issue as issues with individual men. While I agree that Tony Abbott is not necessarily a misogynist, I don’t like his behaviour towards woman, and I’m not sure he can blame cultural factors for his actions.

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    • Miss

      Abbott’s slurs against women are what’s pathetic.

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    • Alice

      Actually, it’s speeches like JG’s that empower women to stand up against sexism and push back – to set the boundaries for how women should be spoken to and about, and treated.

      In Australia we are blessed to have more equality than in other countries, and I’m personally grateful every day for winning the birth lottery by being born into a good family in a safe country. But just because things are better than elsewhere doesn’t mean that we should allow other forms of sexism to slide. We can demand respect and equality in our own country while still fight for change in other countries where the sexism is in a more extreme form.

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      • Anonymous

        Rubbish.

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        • Alice

          So we should be cool about the levels of domestic violence and rape in australia because there is FGM and child marriage elsewhere? No thanks, I think I’ll keep objecting to it, thanks!

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