Jo* writes
“Reading an earlier post on Great Sex-pectations... I would be really interested to read what the Mama Mia community have to say about sexless marriages.I realise there are many different definitions of sexless from once a month, to once a year, etc. but I mean a totally and completely sexless marriage because one member can’t, or won’t have sex.
I’m interested to hear whether people think it’s okay for the partner who does want sex to get it elsewhere, with their partner’s permission. For example, I have a friend who because of gynaecological cancer will never have sex again. Ever. She also has no sex drive at all because of countless cancer therapies so she’s not even interested in non-penetrative sex with her husband. While I’m sure we would all like to think our husband would no longer be interested in sex, and/or happy to service himself when the need arose, I don’t think this is a fair, or realistic, expectation of a fit and healthy 30 year old male.
Would the women from the Mama Mia community allow their husband to sleep with someone else if it meant staying married, and otherwise in love?
(Obviously this situation could go the other way as well, with a man unable to have sex but the woman still desiring sexual relationships.)”
Top Comments
As long as you have a partner who won't let his emotions get to him when he screws someone else, and still comes to you in the end and says he loves only you and has sex just for the fun of it, then no big deal. I've watched another girl give my bf head. It was interesting. I'm in the bdsm lifestyle so I think of it as a platonic business relationship when my bf has sex with another girl as long as he doesn't fall in love with her.
I agree with you 100%. Don't catch feelings and everything will be ok. Just as long as he/she is coming home to their partner And as long as the couple have guidelines and that spark then it's ok. I mean just last week my wife and a Buddy of mine from work they had a good time together. It all started because of me I like watching my wife has sex with other people and after I see that they have gotten her off I join in and we take turns having sex with my wife and it is the best thing in the world because it makes her happy that she can get someone else off and also she can do it in front of me and i don't get mad. And I enjoy it because I like seeing someone else get my wife all worked up and all wet and stuff. We are in the process of trying to find someone that is comfortable With double stuffing and double penetrating my wife Because my wife's toys and I are getting dull. Because she ain't getting the full effect of the Dp or the double stuffing. But I enjoy it very very much. And every since we started the 3somes and her having sex with people she likes out marriage has gotten so much better. It's as if we're still newlyweds. And we have been married for 3 years now. But that's all I have to rant about.
I'm in a relatively happy relationship of 18 years, with kids. Last week my wife confirmed to me she 'has changed' and doesn't want to keep being my lover but wants to make our kids a priority. I'm grieving this lost love and while I want to stay living in our home & with our kids I can't see myself staying together in our bed while there's no intimacy, only friendship and the joint work of our family.
We have a lot to lose by separating, but right now, I don't see being in a business marriage as meeting my needs. The cliche would have it that we men only want sex, but that's a relatively minor part of the intimacy I want to keep. She tells me 'we'll work it out' but doesn't want to say how. I know it's early days, but I am in despair.
I will certainly seek sex and probably another lover if she wants me to stay in our home but not be close. I thought it might be of value to share my story.