real life

Great sex-pectations. Are you getting enough or more than you want?

If the stamina displayed by self proclaimed sex addicts Jesse James and Tiger Woods and their multiple mistresses is enough to make you want to have a lie down (with your clothes on)? Here’s a statistic to balance out all that bonking. One in four women over 35 ‘never’ have sex.

OK, so define NEVER. Is that like…never-not-as-often-as-Tiger-Woods or more like never-actually-not-ever? And is admitting that you’ve practically got cobwebs in your knickers something many women are too embarassed to do?

And is it the fault of celebrities and pop culture that we’re all led to believe that everyone else is bonking like rabbits?

The Daily Telegraph reports more than a quarter of women aged 35-plus say they “never” have sex, new research shows. Couples therapist Paula Hall, who works with the relationship charity Relate, told the Daily Mail newspaper in the UK that the results of the survey highlight the immense pressure women feel when it comes to sex.

Celebrity kiss-and-tell stories fuel the notion that frequent sex is the norm, but the reality is very different with the daily grind of work affecting the libido of many women.

“It has led to exaggerated expectations, that everyone else is getting it three or four times a week and your behaviour isn’t normal,” Miss Hall said..

“This may result in women saying they never have sex when they may only occasionally be having sex.”

It found most women admit to violent mood swings at certain times of the month, with 35 per cent of those aged 35 to 44 saying they feel violent tendencies towards themselves or someone else during their period.

We could talk about this a lot and I think we should. There are going to be more posts about sex on MM – not how to do it (hey, the 100 sealed sections I had to create when I was editing Cosmo was more than any woman should have to endure with it comes to how-to) but more the emotional issues around it because damn if they’re not as complex as they are important.

Depression is not an aphrodisiac. Nor is anger, resentment or exhaustion. What are the main things that affect your libido? And do you want more or less sex than you’re currently getting?

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[Thanks Lucy]