UPDATE 1/7/12: An investigation has revealed that Grant Hackett battled a “heavy reliance” on the controversial sleeping pill Stilnox towards the end of his swimming career
Hackett confirmed that he started using the pills after they were administered by swimming officials during meets, including the Olympics. He admitted that he overused them, adding it was always under supervision of a team doctor or a general practitioner.
“At one point they scared me,” he said. “They’re evil.
From news.com.au:
Hackett further used the pills to help him sleep while suffering the shoulder injury between the Athens and Beijing Games, but his use of them spiralled to a point where he could not remember things.
Hackett denied using Stilnox after his career ended with a silver medal in the 1500m at the Beijing Games.
“My experiences taught me that Stilnox should be taken with caution, but to suggest any reckless involvement on my part would be another shattering blow at this time,” Hackett said.
He strongly encouraged The Sunday Mail to consult with Australian Swimming, and the doctors who provided prescriptions. Hackett moved to Melbourne from the Gold Coast with his wife in 2007.
“I was responsible, but I was not aware of the (potential) side effects.”
Stilnox is widely known to cause strange behaviour, hallucinations, delusions and impaired judgment as well as affect reasoning.
UPDATE 27/06/12:
Former senior members of the Victorian police force have today questioned why Grant Hackett was not arrested on the night he trashed his own home and allegedly assaulted his wife Candice Alley.
The Australian reports:
A former senior policeman who recently left Victoria Police said force policy dictated that Hackett should have been arrested as soon as an allegation of assault was made.
“Forget that it was a celebrity sportsman,” he said. “If that were you or I, we would have been arrested immediately and rightly so.”
Victoria Police yesterday confirmed their investigation into Hackett’s conduct was still under way and would not rule out laying charges against the former Olympian…
Former assistant commissioner Noel Ashby said: “Everyone should be treated the same whoever they may be. If the police had doubts . . . they must intervene immediately and . . . if that means arrest, then that’s what ought to have occurred.
“It might have been the case of some young police that didn’t have the appropriate experiences and skills and were unable to get supervision or didn’t seek supervision . . . the fact that it was Grant Hackett shouldn’t have mattered.”
Earlier this week, former Australian Olympic Champion Grant Hackett appeared in an exclusive interview with 60 Minutes and broke his silence about his violent rampage at his family’s Melbourne apartment in October last year.
He admitted to smashing up the apartment, yelling at his wife and intentionally breaking her most prized possessions. Hackett strenuously denied physically hurting his wife and staunchly refuted allegations that his actions were witnessed by the couple’s children.
Hackett has been married to singer Candice Alley for five years. They have two children together, twins Jagger and Charlize – who Hackett has not been allowed to see for the past 70 days.
He agreed to give the interview in an attempt to draw a line under the incident, ahead of his role as a Channel 9 commentator for the London Olympics next month.
Hackett said it was an argument with his wife that brought his rampage. Graphic photos that emerged in the media a few months ago, showed an overturned grand piano, a door that had be punched in and furniture and wine bottles littered across the floor.
The reason for his actions? Hackett said he wanted to end his marriage.
“I wanted it to end at that point. That’s how I felt, that was my mindset when I was doing it,” he said.
”It gets to a point, it’s like a Coke bottle that keeps getting shaken and shaken and shaken and shaken and if you don’t release it, it just explodes. It wasn’t pretty. I was just at a point where I wanted it to be over.”
‘It was midnight so both of our children were in bed. I threw some picture frames on the ground and that’s when my wife left… I just continued to push over furniture and make a mess… But by no means did I hurt anybody or my children sitting there witnessing, that just didn’t happen.”
Hackett said he would “never hurt his wife”.
But whether that is true is entirely dependent on your definition of ‘hurt’.
Australia’s White Ribbon Campaign, which encourages men to swear an oath never to commit an act of violence against women, defines domestic violence as:
“An abuse of power perpetrated mainly (but not only) by men against women in a relationship or after separation. It occurs when one partner attempts physically or psychologically to dominate and control the other. Domestic violence takes a number of forms. The most commonly acknowledged forms are physical and sexual violence, threats and intimidation, emotional and social abuse and economic deprivation.”
It is hard to imagine how witnessing your partner smashing up furniture, breaking bottles and destroying a door could not be threatening, intimidating or psychologically damaging.
And it’s hard to imagine how two small children could not be deeply affected and traumatised by the sound and sight of their father destroying their own home.
Hackett claims the children didn’t see it but he contradicts himself by also stating his wife removed one of the children mid-rampage and came back to get the other one. So they clearly witnessed something, even if it was the after-affects of the destruction. Not to mention the experience of hearing that kind of violence and being woken in the middle of the night to escape it.
As 60 Minutes aired last night, the community took to Twitter to post their reactions:
The International Violence Against Women Survey has found that in Australia:
- Close to half of all women (40%) have experienced violence since the age of 15;
- Just under one third of women (29%) have experienced physical assault;
- Nearly one in five women (17%) have experienced sexual assault;
- Nearly one in six women (16%) have experienced violence by a current or previous partner in their lifetime;
Hackett wondered out loud on 60 Minutes last night, ”Is my reputation damaged forever after, you know, one mistake? and I’m not blowing that off it was a bad mistake and I take full accountability for that – but I’ll be defined for my actions moving forward and I hope people take the time to judge me on that.”
UPDATE: Editor in Chief of News.com and The Punch David Penberthy joined in the debate today saying:
“The question of whether any actual violence was involved has not been resolved, but cemented as a he said/she said issue. Candice Alley’s lawyers tried to prevent the interview from going ahead, and Alley refused to provide any comment to 60 Minutes.
From what we can understand though, she has stood by her original version of events, which is that Hackett did throw her into a window. Hackett denies it. While we can only take them both on their word, there was one strange moment in Hackett’s interview which suggests that someone needs to sit the bloke down and provide him with a simple definition of what constitutes domestic violence. Hackett’s assertion that he did not threaten Alley in any way does not past muster.
You do not have to hit someone to threaten them. It is hard to imagine a more threatening scenario, for a woman less than half Hackett’s size, than being holed up in an apartment with this drunken and violent man, as he systematically trashes everything they own. His claim that he did not verbally threaten her is also dubious. To his modest credit he did not blame alcohol for his actions, he blamed himself. Yet if he was as drunk as he says he was, how on earth can he reliably remember what he did nor did not say to his wife as the mayhem was unfolding?…
The final point I would make about Hackett and his limited number of backers out there is that they should shelve their muted sense of indignation that these are private matters which do not belong in the public arena. They are not private matters. Domestic violence is not a private issue, it is a public issue, and any attempt to suggest otherwise plays straight into the mindset which for years has seen neighbours remain silent while all hell breaks loose next door, or the cops chuck a u-turn on the front porch when they discover that the screaming coming from inside is “only” a domestic.”
Do you think Grant Hackett’s reputation has been damaged forever? Are you more sympathetic to his position after watching or reading about his response? Do you think our community can deal better with the tragic problem of violence against women?












Comments
478 Comments so far
If you are a swimmer, and a champion, it is hard living out of the water as a human being. From young you are taught to be tough and a fighter, and when you are losing you fight back, when something angers you you fight back. Swimmers have big tempers when dealing with normal people. Its what makes a swimmer different from anyone else. Thing is its no excuse for his actions.
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“An abuse of power perpetrated mainly (but not only) by men against women in a relationship or after separation. It occurs when one partner attempts physically or psychologically to dominate and control the other. Domestic violence takes a number of forms. The most commonly acknowledged forms are physical and sexual violence, threats and intimidation, emotional and social abuse and economic deprivation.”
When Mr. Hackett smashed his own home which he is entitled to do, I believe they had been separated for 70 days. Of that 70 days, his WIFE refused to allow the kids to have any physical contact with his kids. Does that come into the above? Is she perpetrating child abuse as well as Domestic Violence on him?
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It seems to be that you can smash up everything in your home and not be charged, which I think the law has got it all wrong but in this case he deliberately attacked his wifes possessions as well, so the police are letting him get away with it. However, his wife may have been assaulted and the children were definitely there in the home, hearing it all at the very least, he said they were there, so this is domestic violence at its worst and by a well known sportsman, who has admitted being addicted to stilnox for many years, it just keeps getting worse. He has also tried to use the stilnox admission to take the heat off him or maybe lead us to believe he had stilnox in his system that fateful October night, he has tried to manipulate everyone close to him with his lies and admissions, even his dad said he only took stilnox while he had a shoulder injury. I just have to wonder how many times this guy exploded like that, smashing things around him and more to the point what sort of emotional abuse he has put his wife through, she definitely did the right thing by telling him to leave for the sake of the children. No children should be exposed to this sort of behaviour.
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Did Grant’s team read the negative comments regarding his behaviour on the last MM post and feel compelled to come up with another angle?
Well, it’s not working on me Grant!
Seriously, if this guy wants to start rebuilding his shattered public profile he needs to man up and accept some personal responsibility instead of continuing to try and shift the blame.
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Its interesting to see that most comments are condemning Grant, and fair enough I guess. Domestic Violence shouldn’t be tolerated.
But what its it that you think should happen to him now? I don’t think he has gotten away with this, Im sure given the choice he would have preferred to be dealt with by the legal system rather than trial by media.
I lived with a violent man for many years, he threw things and broke things etc when he was drunk and angry and yes its frightening but I wouldnt say I have emotional scars, I wouldnt say that it affected me past the point that the incident was over.
But heres the deal, I knew my husband was never going to actually hit me and I knew exactly what to do and say to wind him up and to push his buttons. I hated it when he drank so I would behave in a way that was spiteful and provocative. I have also witnessed many women (girlfriends) doing the same thing – its that passive agressive thing that our Baby Boomer mothers taught us.
We were both in the wrong. Theres always two sides.
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Great comment Kooky Chic. I don’t understand why people are so quick to discount the idea that maybe (obviously not always) there is some shit stirring going on from the other party. I don’t think anyone should be believed without question – I doubt the truth is actually found doing that.
It really does freak me out that people are baying for blood without stepping back and asking questions.
Then we had one bloke actually tell us what happened to him, and nothing. What is wrong with people?
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errrr…. so because the media has given him a (rightfully) hard time about his episode, that somehow excuses the requirement for him to be dealt with by our legal system?
That’s great that you don’t have emotional scars from your own (presumably ex) partner – but just because you’re OK doesn’t mean other women will react the same, and just because you were a petty and spiteful in your reaction to his drinking, doesn’t mean that other women are doing the same thing.
I would argue that even if you do behave like a moron in front of your drunken partner that still doesn’t provide them the excuse of trashing your house or throwing items of furniture around the room.
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My sister died four years ago as a result of taking Stilnox. You can read her story and many hundreds of other horrifying accounts on this petition my family and I set up (and we would be very grateful for more signatures):
http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/stilnox/
The article about Grant Hackett is a bit vague, but it looks to me as though the journalist/s who wrote the piece found out this information, then approached him for comment. I don’t think Grant Hackett is trying to claim that he was taking Stilnox on the night he allegedly threatened and abused his wife, though this type of behaviour wouldn’t be atypical of the types of stories I have heard from people with no previous history of violence who have done things completely out of character while taking this drug (and not necessarily in combination with alcohol – in my sister’s case, it was the only thing in her system at the time of her death – there was no alcohol or other drugs involved).
Regardless of what you think about Grant Hackett, he is right in saying that Stilnox is an evil drug.
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I take Stilnox once or twice a week to help me sleep. I have never experienced any side effects. My only complaint is that while the drug helps me get to sleep it doesn’t keep me asleep all night. The effects wear off way too quickly. I do know if you mix Stilnox with alcohol you can go haywire, get a massive buzz and loose all sense of reality. One girlfriend found herself cooking naked in the kitchen in the middle of the ight after popping a Stilnox with vodka! Lucky for her she was discovered by her hubby and not the kids!!
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Lucky too that she didn’t burn the house down. Jackie O spoke on radio a few years ago about being woken from a deep sleep by firemen who had entered her home after she’d set her kitchen on fire. She said that she’d taken a Stilnox, gone to bed, then while asleep had woken and baked muffins, which she’d put in the oven, before returning to bed. She had absolutely no recollection of getting up and cooking in her sleep, but sleep cooking and sleep eating are two very well reported side effects from taking Stilnox (and again, not always in combination with alcohol).
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I use Stillnox (Zolpidem) occasionally for insomnia, under prescription. I’ve never had a problem with it. It must never be taken with alcohol though, or the side effects can be quite nasty. Like all medications it was produced for a specific condition to be taken at a specific dose only, by responsible people, and under prescription only. I think Grant Hackett needs to be quiet for a while, the hole is just getting deeper.
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The “alcohol problem” didn’t work, so let’s trot out a ” prescription drug problem”.
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Yesterday there was a Twitter request for people who’ve had bad experiences with Stilnox to contact the Today Show – I wonder if there might be some follow up work with Grant Hackett in light of that request . . . .
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Why was this info about the sleeping pills released at all?
Grant himself says in the article above that he didn’t use Stilnox after his swimming career ended. He retired from swimming after Beijing in 2008. The apartment trashing incident was in late 2011 and him and Candice separated in 2012. So why is his past Stilnox dependence that he claims ended 4 years ago relevant to the current situation?
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SO. FREAKING. WHAT.
Does not excuse what he did, is not an apology, does not mean he should be brought fondly back into the channel nine fold. Shame on Channel Nine.
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Do you know what disgusted me today? Turning on the TV this morning, channel 9′s “Today Weekend” edition was on, and one of the hosts made a point of the Hackett story and said “I just want to say good morning to Grant, and you know, he is a great friend, and it’s like the elephant in the room because a lot of us in this studio go out to dinner with him and he’s a great bloke, and I was with him in Canada for the Winter Olympics and he was just fantastic and not one bit of trouble, a total gentleman. I think it’s a bit rich how the media just keeps on pursuing this story.” Did anyone else see this? It was abhorrent and made me so mad that he was defending Grant on air. Get stuffed. Sorry mate I’m not watching your show to watch you brown nose you’re abusive friend, glad you are such great mates and all but there is NO WAY he deserves being defended like that on national television. It makes his actions seem excusable, and the way the guy seemed irked about the media coverage? Please. How pathetic.
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Yeah I saw it, and I thought it was brave of Tim to talk about it and stand by his mate who is going through a rotten time.
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he isn’t the person who needs to be advocated for
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Why not? Everyone deserves a chance to defend themselves and be supported.
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like his wife got the chance to defend herself while he was trashing their home in front of their children
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The kids were asleep, she took them out one at a time, according to numerous posts about the incident here. Then she let the pictures out. And doesn’t let him see the kids.
Two sides to every story, anonymous.
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come on Kris! SHe “takes them (children) out one at a time” – you think that’s ok????
I wouldn’t let him see the children after what he did, it was massive, not a minor incident. ANd it was domestic violence! He should have been arrested.
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Sydgel, where have I said any of it was OK? I just said there were two sides to every story.
Why didn’t she call the cops when it was happening?
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She did call the police.
http://www.news.com.au/entertainment/celebrity/olympian-grant-hacketts-night-of-destruction/story-e6frfmqi-1226368011783
“…police received a distraught emergency call in the early hours of October 30, 2011, from Hackett’s singer-songwriter wife Candice Alley…”
“…when police arrived at Hackett’s home, Alley and the children were unharmed but distraught and shaking with fear. It is understood officers were concerned for the safety of Alley and the children. Alley allegedly told police he was physically violent towards her.”
The police failed to do their job by not arresting him.
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Fair enough. She went back to him though. And I still don’t like the condemnation from all these apparent saints on here.
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Agreed – Ch9 is trying to do damage control on one of their staff members. In my opinion they should have sacked him and not demoted him. No wonder Mr Hackett has moved to QLD. Ms Alley’s daddy is a well connected man in Melbourne.
If there’s anything that good that comes out of the Stilnox mention then it will be to put pressure on banning a very dangerous and scary drug.
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He is appalling and should not under any circumstances be allowed to commentate the Olympics, what he did was every bit as bad as Nick Darcy but no one seems to be saying it. That 60 Mins interview was laughable and Tara Dennis was simpering and pandering to him the whole time. He is a wife abuser plain and simple. I dont care if he was addicted to sleeping tablets or alcohol or anything else for that matter. There is NO excuse for what he did! None whatsoever. And the fact that people are still giving him some sort of excuse is a disgrace. Why are sports people always exempt from bad behaviour ? Just makes me so angry.
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Maybe not an excuse but a reason behind it? What does he owe you, anyway?
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what are you???? His PR person????
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What are the rest of you? An online lynch mob?
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why should we support a wife basher??
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Has he actually bashed her? Or just trashed their place?
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Just another “sports star” getting away with being a complete douchebag.
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…just another 60 minutes PR stunt to allow Hackett to glide into the Olympic commentating role. It’s so unfair that women are threatened (the footballer gang rape incident comes to mind) and the men go on to bigger and better things (Matty Johns Show, anyone??) Candice must be sick.
And another thing…why hasn’t he seen his kids in 70 days? If he’s as innocent as he protests, surely he would have lodged a custody application and, if there was no risk of him visiting his kids, he would be able to see them. So, I was wondering whether he a) hasn’t filed for custody because he’s too busy doing 60 Minute interviews or b) he has filed and hasn’t been allowed to see them because Child Services have investigated and deem him a threat to the kids. Interesting….
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I was married for 20 years. 8 years into our marriage our first daughter arrived, followed by our second less than 2 years later. My husband was no longer the centre of my attention and controlling and escalating domestic violence began. To the outside world he was the perfect father. I finally told my family after another 8 years, by which time he had ingratiated himself so much to them that only my father believed me. I started studying at university to be able to support my children when I left and only my father supported this move. The violence escalated to try to prevent my studies but I graduated and got a job. Then my father suddenly died. My husband didn’t even go to the funeral. More violence and I had the DVU ready to help me leave. One day we came home and he had run away. Solicitors said he had planned it meticulously, cleared all of our belongings including my children’s, all bank accounts, all super and left $30k debts from his business on my credit cards. My family believed his claims that I was mentally ill and all cut contact with us. I suffered a stroke at 45 years old – probably as a result of the stress. Life is hard on my own raising 2 teenagers, but I’m alive (unlike Alison Baden-Clay), my daughters have a parent who loves them, we have no more abuse, and one day I hope to pay off my credit cards. No one knows what goes on behind closed doors, or the suffering of women and children in domestic violence. It’s HORRENDOUS!
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Thank you for sharing. xxx
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Brave. You will get back on track because you are strong. Sorry to hear about your father also.
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Why don’t we act and sign this petition on Facebook, why should he get away with it women need to speak out against domestic violence.
causes.com/actions/1663067
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Where’s the accountability for the ‘Responsible Service of Alcohol’ legislation at the Logies?? (+ other celebrity events)
If Grant were feeling as at breaking point re his marriage – he had the choice to leave and he didn’t. He has the financial means and intellectual ability to book himself an appointment (or several ongoing sessions) with a counsellor or psychologist to deal with his feelings, or the option to make an anonymous call to Lifeline – he needs to take responsibility for his own actions.
It also annoys me that now that this ‘story’ is gaining more public attention, former police officers comment that he should have been charged and give lame excuses of inexperienced officers as for the reason/justification that this didn’t occur initially … fact is, just like Matthew Newton, Grant Hackett is enabled to not be accountable because he has a public profile, just like the Bulldogs football players who gang raped a Coffs Harbour lady a few years ago at Pacific Bay Resort.
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Everyone here arguing for Grant Hackett appears to be assuming that, on the basis of available information, Candace was a controlling and manipulative wife.
Maybe, just maybe, the ‘curfews’ referred to in the media were arrangements agreed to between them because maybe, just maybe, Grant Hackett has difficulties relating to abuse of alcohol.
Maybe, just maybe, Candace was attempting to work with her husband to define limits and boundaries for the sake of their relationship.
If you don’t want to judge him without benefit of the facts, then don’t judge her by the same token.
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http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/abuse-isnt-always-fist-to-face/
Another POV
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When news first broke that Candice Alley had filed for separation from Grant Hackett and she was quick to tell-all in an exclusive interview for Who, I was sceptical about the sincerity of their split and said so on my blog . But once the photos were released and after reading about his 60 Minutes interview here, I wonder if I was perhaps a little too quick to judge Alley for capitalising on their breakup… I’m a staunch anti-domestic violence advocate, having witnessed the effects of it in my own family, and I don’t think it’s too harsh that Hackett’s been treated the way he has. In fact, I think his treatment in the media and by the general public has been too soft…
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I think he is a liar getting away with domestic violence.
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STOP making Grant the poster boy for domestic abuse. He’s not. Mamamia I have been a reader for a long time, largely respecting the writing. This continual gutter journalism is the first time I’ve ever been completely turned off. This is a private affair and not an excuse to harp on about female empowerment and zero abuse tolerance. Let’s remember he is a real person with good qualities and is only human please?
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This is a clear case of domestic violence.
Domestic violence is never a private affair.
There are a number of events in this circumstance which warrant investigation and, potentially, criminal charges.
Get real.
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The terror of not knowing what will come next after a wife faces domestic violence is something I hope you never have to live through. My daughters and I lived with it and I can assure you the perpetrator is NOT human!
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But we do not know if she has ever abused him under any of the definitions of abuse given above . I am not defending Grant, simply saying that we DO NOT have a right to judge and condemn further until we know more. Something about this story doesn’t sit well with me and I think it’s that he is being painted as such a monster and his wife as such a victim. Theremay be no innocent parties here and I really think the public should just shut up as it is certainly not fair to rehash this further. The very fact that the pictures made the newspapers is appalling.
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Then let him be charged and judged in a court of law, and not in a court of public opinion……
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Actually he gave us the right to judge him when he sat in front of the cameras to tell his story. He wasn’t hoping we would all turn around and say “Its none of our business, it doesn’t affect us, I have no opinion about the issue.” He is hoping like hell that we well judge him favourably. You may choose to do that or to withhold judgement. Personally I choose to judge him harshly.
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After months of psychological, emotional and physical abuse at the hands of my former partner, I told him I was leaving him. He reacted by building a fire in the backyard and burning every one of my most personal and treasured possessions, as well as everything I needed just to live a normal life each day; he left me nothing more than I was wearing at the time. Also, he physically assaulted and threatened me before the police arrived.
I made a complaint to the police and he was charged with criminal damage (arson) and pleaded guilty. He was ordered to pay me tens of thousands of dollars in compensation, but of course he is in breach of the court order and I’m still chasing him for it.
What Grant Hackett did to his wife, with his young children in the house, was no different. He should be charged by the police. This behaviour should not be tolerated in anyone, no matter who they are or what they’ve done.
No one is all good or all bad; even the worst of villains have their good points. But everyone is accountable for their actions.
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As someone who escaped a violent relationship, I’ve found this whole debate really confronting.
Every time I read a comment saying ‘there are two sides to every story’ it makes me nauseous.
My ex would have told many people his behaviour was all my fault. They would have believed him because as someone close to me said ‘he’s a street angel and a home devil’.
Pushing my ex too far meant turning off a light switch when I shouldn’t have, receiving a text message from a male colleague or any number of tiny, trivial things.
Please be mindful of women (and men) who have been through this when writing your comments. They affect us and in many cases can bring memories of our experiences flooding back.
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My mum would only have to look at my dad the wrong way ( as he put it) and he would beat the crap out of her. We lived in fear every day and only escaped by leaving in the middle of the night with a suitcase each. He was an alcoholic , but didn’t have a problem according to him.
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I think it is a disgrace that he hasn’t seen his children for over 2 months
I also think its a disgrace that these photos were ever released publically.
Who is responsible for both these things?
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Well, without wanting to talk about this case specifically, it’s nearly impossible for someone with finances and good lawyers to be kept away from their children unless the court has ruled they shouldn’t be near them.
Perhaps the parent being kept away doesn’t realise their rights, but I imagine anyone with a lawyer would know the reality of the situation.
As for the photos – I appreciate being given the chance to see the destruction for myself. Otherwise I would never have believed the man I cheered to the finish line in 2000 was capable of this.
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DId I somehow miss reporting of them in court?
Surely its not possible that the two of them have been to family court and it wasn’t reported in the media.
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Bravo David. Couldn’t have said it better.
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There were letters in today’s papers saying ‘have we forgotten all Grant Hackett has done for our country, leave him alone’.
I cannot tell everyone how ANGRY this makes me. Firstly, he swam up and down a pool really fast – which is lovely; but hardly world-changing. The man did not cure cancer; or save babies from a burning building. He pursued a career that was entirely about himself (as many of us do) and made millions from it.
But secondly, what on earth does this have to do with anything??? So what. The man is a swimming champion. How on earth could anyone suggest that should impact on how we view his behaviour? I don’t know what went on – none of us do except those that were there – but to suggest that his swimming success should alter the way he is judged in any way is just proposterous and I’m sick of this type of stuff in Australia.
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I’m as appalled as you are! And really upset that so many people think this way – !?!?!
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“A former senior policeman who recently left Victoria Police said … “Forget that it was a celebrity sportsman,” he said. “If that were you or I, we would have been arrested immediately and rightly so.”
Unrelated to Grant Hackett’s story, but Ben Cousins was just fined $800 in Court today for having 4 grams of meth concealed on his person (I’ve heard it alleged that they were actually *inside* his body…) and being caught again a week later with cannabis.
There’s no way Ben was treated like a regular person with his record and this outcome, even with his rehab efforts considered.
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I have experience of domestic violence as a child and a teen, then of psychological violence as an adult. I have never seen someone go from no previous violent behaviour to this level of voilence in 1 step.
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Bingo Bella. This behaviour is part of escalating continuum. Likely not to be an isolated one-off – probably just the first time police were called.
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As a survivor of DV I have to agree that one massive, out of the blue, blow up, was not my experience, however there is evidence to show that it can occur this way but is rare.
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As Australians we all should be ashamed that any man in this country behaves in such a violent way. His wife must have been afraid for her life when he was on that rampage.
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Yes, and the fact that he is just such a large man physically would have made it even more terrifying.
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He’s sorry his image is tarnished and is now in damage control. This isn’t about his family or anything else, it’s purely about him.
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Grant is a spoiled brat used to being put on a pedistal as a celebrity. When the pedistal is removed he gets angry and takes it out on his nearest and dearest (sic) . He is a sic prick
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Interesting article from last month.
http://m.smh.com.au/sport/hackett-hurt-by-partyboy-portrayal-20120512-1yjy4.html
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Hackett. Absolute douchebag.
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The ultimate in Domestic violence.
http://www.news.com.au/world/fed-up-mum-throws-young-sons-to-their-deaths/story-e6frfkyi-1226409339530
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I used to be Grant Hackett. I sat in a psychiatrist’s chair and said ‘I drink as much as everyone else. I just want to be able to have fun and drink like everyone else. Why can’t I?” Well it’s because ‘My name is Danielle and I’m an alcoholic’. You might want to start getting sober for life Grant. Your life will change for the better.
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This could be much like The Slap. The end result gets all the attention, but dig a little deeper and there was a lot going on and building up before the finale.
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Trashing a home and slapping someone are very different things.
Although there was a relationship in that series where everything was all nice and shiny on the outside but abusive in private. I forget the name of the character, the one played by Alex Dimitriades? He beat and intimidated his wife but from the outside their relationship seemed perfect.
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As well as Hackett, this interview does channel 9 no favours. Boys club still in full force.
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What I didn’t like is the way he tried to downplay his actions, the whole interview seemed so contrived. I don’t think he has done himself any favours.
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I don’t think his reputation is destroyed forever but certainly for a while. We all deserve redemption if we are truly sorry and pay our dues. Grant is not truly sorry … Yet. He downplayed the damage to the house by saying that he ‘turned over’ things when he actually smashed them. He obviously has an issue with alcohol and is not ready to admit that. Also his parents weren’t ashamed. What? If my kid did that I would be ashamed about their behaviour and horrified. He needs therapy and time to work on himself now and certainly does not need to be given a high profile gig to distract him from getting his life back on track.
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While I do not condone Grant’s actions or justify domestic violence I do not believe any single one of us is in a place to judge him or his relationship. The only two people who truly know what goes on in a relationship are the two people involved. I hope they both get the help they need, individually and as a couple, and most importantly they focus on creating a better future for their children.
What I also find interesting, as many have pointed out, is the double standard here. If it had been the female in the relationship who had become emotionally unstable and lashed out physically on the house (yes, females are capable of this) we would not be so quick to label it a domestic violence case.
Sometimes we ‘fling’ around big labels without the knowledge or qualifications to do so…and I do think we just need to be very careful about doing so.
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I think that attitudes to DV perpetrated by women to men are similar to attitudes to male to female DV were 30-40 years ago. I would hope that similarly attitudes will changed and it will also be talked about widely. The big difference, unfortunately, will always be, that in general men are bigger and stronger than women and thus able to inflict more physical harm if they wish, again, generally speaking.
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I absolutely agree. A woman can inflict emotional abuse on a man which is usually swept under the carpet. Yet if he snaps and the abuse is in the form of the home being damaged its labelled domestic violence and she is faultless. I have seen this happen, a wife has wielded a rein of terror and manipulation in the family and when the husband finally couldnt take it any more and broke some furniture he was labelled the aggressor and her image is squeaky clean and the children remain in her care, when she is just as frightening, simply in a less obvious way. Please let not jump to conclusions. We have no idea how Candace had been treating him, she could have had him completely dominated and manipulated and powerless in his home and marriage. A clue to me is that all of her precious things were trashed, like her piano.
Also, when people split up they always claim that the children will remain theur first priority. Thats is until the kids and their access become the currency and then tragically they are the pawns. All parents need to be mindful of this as I have yet to see a couple split up where the kids needs have truly been the first priority in actions rather than just words.
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“A clue to me is that all of her precious things were trashed, like her piano.”
Really?
It sounds like you are the one jumping to conclusions……….
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I think it’s fair to say that a gigantic former athlete completely demolishing his own house – including admitting he DELIBERATELY targeted everything that his wife valued most – is a clear case of domestic violence. Especially when you take into account that he was drunk, she is TINY and there were two little babies present. Terrifying for her. Who cares what provoked it? I don’t. My boyfriend would NEVER do that no matter how “provoked” he might be because he’s a real man – unlike my jerk of an ex husband who spun the same limp stories about how he’d never hit a woman while pinning me to the wall by my throat. There is no excuse for this sort of behaviour and the imbalance in physical power only makes it worse.
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I feel uniquely qualifed to comment here, and that in itself is sad.
In my case it was my mother who was violent.
As a child it is so very hard to understand.
As a teenager it made me angry, depressed & sad.
As an adult it has been a huge part of who I am.
The understanding of why she was that way, the assertion that I was not going to tolerate it, then the acceptance of my new relationship with her.
I say this because much of the focus here is on if he’s sorry or not, if he’s still angry, how Candice feels etc and I do think some of these things are important but not the most important thing. Not even what ‘really’ happened is as important as what is done from here on in.
He needs help. That is the most important message.
Candice needs to support him in this even though they are not together anymore.
The children should not be used as pawns, and should be able to see their father in a supervised environment.
If this is done properly, this should be a part of their lives, not the all consuming sum of thier lives.
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Wow, very rarely do you ever hear of the mother being abusive. Thanks for sharing your story – it takes a strong person to forgive and build a new relationship with an abusive parent.
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It is hard to build a relationship with an abusive parent, but not impossible.
That is why I think here should be the focus on helping him to get better. Otherwise you are just saying he’s evil & usless & we should lock him up & thow away the key.
He is thier father, and I’m sorry but fact is you only get one father & in my case, one mother.
People can heal, and if he can get better, heal himself. Then these kids can keep thier father, and that is important too.
It makes me very anoyed here acting like perpetrators of domestic violence are just rubbish. They aren’t, they are people with problems. NO domestic violence shouldn’t be tolerated, I know that for sure. But we need to try to rehabilitate the perpetrators, as they too are someone’s mother, father son or daughter…
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Taken at face value (as that’s all we’ve got to go by) that would scare the wits out of anyone – man, woman or child. Not surprised she locked him out.. just surprised it took her so long to do it!
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Over several years my mother has threatened me, my sister and my dad with a knife and an axe. She has smashed vases and televisions during her various ourbursts. One time when dad pushed her to get her away from me and she fell over and knocked a table over, she rang the police and she reported him for assaulting her. He had to leave the house for 24 hours and later they had to go to court for an AVO hearing. This was a huge wake up call as she has since admitted her mistakes, sought help and she is working hard to behave properly. All is forgiven but will never be forgotten.
Not every woman is innocent and not every man is a monster. Please lets not jump to conclusions here. My dad would be seen as an abuser and my mum an innocent victim and that is the complete opposite of the truth.
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The willingness to jump on the “The man is the bad one” bandwagon is frightening to me. And somehow makes one “unfeminist” to point out that women can be incredibly adept at manipulating situations and relationships, and using the kids to do it.
That’s fantastic that your Mum has sorted herself out!
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Thank you for replying. It was really helpful to type my story out, I have never shared it before.
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Good on you for your courage and for being so generous with your privacy.
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There are avenues to gain access to your children, surprised that he hasn`t sought one of these avenues and let a judge decide if he is a threat to his kids (or has a judge already decided that?)
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I remember as a kid, hearing my parents yelling at each other was enough to keep me up at night, worrying my little head off and blaming myself as kids do.
Cannot imagine how traumatic it would be to hear Daddy smashing up the place. Hackett claims he didn’t hurt anyone. As if.
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I don’t think it’s the alcohol that’s the problem – it may have been the trigger, but I don’t think it’s the key issue…
I sense something bigger and deeper going on… I’m not excusing him for anything that’s happened, but I hope he gets the help he needs – and that Grant and Candice can come to a peaceful resolution to their current issues.
It’s funny how you see successful people on tv etc, and you think they have the world at their feet/the perfect life… not always, huh?
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