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By MIA FREEDMAN
It’s hard to talk about the death of a 17 year old at Schoolies this week without using cliches such as “every parent’s worst nightmare” because it truly is.
I never went to schoolies, myself. Instead, I celebrated the end of my year 12 exams by going to Hamilton Island with my mother where we huddled around the TV watching the Berlin Wall come down on CNN. Rock and roll. But I had no desire to go anywhere and drink myself stupid. I just didn’t see the point.
Once you reach a certain age and begin identifying more with the worried parents than the wasted kids, you tend to tune out the annual schoolies media coverage – until this year.
Today’s Daily Telegraph.
With the shocking news about tragedy on the Gold Coast and the near-miss when 18 year old Cameron Cox was photographed sleeping on a balcony ledge 11 floors above the ground – it’s been impossible to ignore.
I’m still a few years off having to deal with my firstborn going to schoolies but I’m going to remember the advice adolescent expert Dr Michael Carr-Gregg has been giving to year 12 parents: bribe your kids not to go. Cash, a car loan, whatever it takes. As has been devastatingly proven this week, the combination of drunk kids and highrise buildings can be lethal.
The full circumstances around this young woman’s death aren’t yet known. But the fact is that someone’s beautiful daughter is dead after going to schoolies. Our thoughts and sympathies are with her family and friends after this senseless tragedy, that can never be undone.
And if there is a sense of anger and frustration amongst parents around what goes on at schoolies? It’s born of deep terror that, just like us at the same age, many teenagers have a frightening inability to foresee, judge and manage the consequences of their actions.
Comments
211 Comments so far
Good on You Mia.I also didn’t do the whole School Leavers thing instead going straight into work the minute I left School way back in late 1996.That Coupled with assorted Church Events meant there was no time to waste earning adult wages from the start meant I could get a better holiday than these school leavers which I did just over a year later with a Singapore Trip.Speaking of which We have a family friend whose eldest son Graduated last year and the Grandma gave them all a Big Trip to Europe with a few days in China on the way home for the youngest one getting a scholarship for high school this year and for the older one getting into Medicine for University which he did.It’s a small price to pay to save both your kids lives and have something they can remember for years to come.If the kids are family orientated non drinkers and non smokers already working encourage them to keep that lifestyle up and when they can Do their own holidays.
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Spot on Mia. 17 year olds look like adults but most brains do not mature till age 25. The law has not kept up with science. Teens are actually less able to manage risk than slightly younger age groups due to the peculiarities of brain development. Then multiply that by 1000 schoolies in the one place. As for the comment that all teens should be able to drink themselves to oblivion …are you kidding??!!
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It’s always the same knee-jerk reactions – every time something bad happens the response is to cancel Schoolies.
I live on the border of Surfers and Broadbeach and grew up on the Gold Coast, so I’m well-placed to have an actual *informed* opinion (outside of media reportage).
As soon as this horrific tragedy struck this poor young woman I heard “they should just cancel it” and “there’s a death every year!”
Well, no Schoolies died last year – a 22 year old man died when he slipped off the rail one floor above a pool (and missed) in a licenced venue during Schoolies.
There have been 6 deaths in the past 12 months in Surfers Paradise/Broadbeach – 5 of those people were not Schoolies, 2 were during the GC600 (motor race).
The problem is alcohol/drugs and highrises.
Not Schoolies themselves who are mostly well-behaved and pleasant, and just trying to enjoy themselves at an extremely well-organised Schoolies Event.
Unfortunately life is dangerous – if you raised them the best you can, hopefully they will make the right choices. But accidents still happen – wherever you are.
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Wow I would never have had the courage to even ask my parents if I could go to schoolies. I knew the answer would be no but the truth was I didn’t want to go. None of my friends went and they also wouldn’t have been allowed to go even if they had wanted to. I finished school ten years ago and my best friend’s mum said to me not long ago that I was the most responsible person she had ever met – I was not allowed to go to parties as a teenager but never wanted to anyway. I have never been drunk – two standard drinks is my limit and even then it is a rare occasion when I drink. I am risk averse by nature but I also grew up in a loving, albeit strict, Italian family. I did what my parents told me no questions asked and in return they have been amazing parents to us and have a happy marriage to this day. Yes I may have resented them occasionally (eg I wanted to take the bus one day to see a movie with a friend and was not allowed to. Mum drove me to the movie and picked me up right after it finished. I never asked to catch the bus again lest I receive a massive lecture on why I was not allowed to go). But most people are not like me – I like to please my parents and at 28 I still do. I narrowly avoided getting myself physically involved with a married man who I was very much in love with by asking myself “what would mum say if she found out about this”. She would have been horrified so I didn’t do it – same with the drinking, partying, sleeping around and other reckless behaviour people engage in.
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Parents of school leavers need to learn to trust their children. They are young adults. As long as you have instilled good values in them, there should be no problem.
I was raised by two wonderful parents who knew that I would have went anyway as I was 18 in Year 12 (early in the year) and I was mature enough to know that it was just a week holiday with my friends, people lose contact after school so it was a nice way for everyone to get together and lounge by the pool, read a book in the sun, listen to music, have dinners, go swimming and dance the night away. If people choose to drink during any of these activities it is their choice. People need to start taking responsibility for their own actions.
From personal experience, all of our friends would have looked after each other if there was any problems (which there wasnt) and we were a group of 10 girls during the main NSW schoolies week staying right in Surfers Paradise. Its all about being switched on. The media blows schoolies week out to be some crazy week of wasted teenagers and that couldnt be further from the truth.
Morons will be morons no matter what age, where they are or who they are with unfortunately.
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It concerns me that we have a culture where the ending of a stressful experience (yr 12) needs to be celebrated with getting blotto.
So I love the idea of giving kids a better option.
Paris, African safari, wherever.
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Not all.in Singapore for instance they don’t have such a thing.It’s straight to work/University for them.
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I’m just wondering at why age you consider your children to be adults? A lot of comments are saying that until their children are adults they will make the decisions for them but if you can legally drive, drink and vote by the time you are 18 what gives you the right to ban them from doing something completely legal? (Just playing devils advocate here)
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A lot of kids finishing year 12 are 17. So none of those are legal.
With age I can now look back to when I was 18 and I honestly was still very much a kid.
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Well then, let them move out and live under their own roof which they pay for!
They are not ‘young adults’, they are grown children.
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I live right in Surfers. However, Surfers is not the bogan pit made out by the media.
The amount of work by the Schoolies committee is huge, and they feel very defeated when a tiny sliver of negative behviour is blasted all over Australia Surfers took the atitude that kids were going to come anyway and if you can’t beat them – join them and make it great!. It is getting better every year. It’s never going to be perfect but you would be surprised at how little really happens. It’s the clubbing ‘over 18′ers, ie, the adults who cause the most trouble here – after schoolies.!
Schoolies seems to have drifted over from USA where they have the Springbreak. CanCun in Mexico was the most popular and that was in the middle of some scary local stuff. However, now it is incredibly well organised. Resort all around Australia are waking up to the fact that it’s not going away but places like Bali, which don’t cater for the younger ones, are still scary.The risks thre are going to be much higher.
One thing I do like about Schoolies – there is always a huge amount of laughing around the streets!
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Wow. Big call Mia! I went to GC in 2004 with a big group of mates and we were all fine! There were so many police around and hotel security was great so I felt really safe. I was 18 and if my parents told me I couldn’t go I probably would have told them where to go. I think if you raise your kids right they will mostly make the right decisions.
But really, did you never drink yourself to oblivion as a teenager? Year 12 is a super stressfull year and I think it’s really important to let the kids blow off some steam. There is a lot of pressure on them to do well. Give them a break! And then prepare yourselves for Uni, much much more alcohol there than schoolies!
You can’t baby them forever, they have to make their own mistakes. Just make sure you let them know they can always call you for help and you won’t judge them or be angry (at least on the outside. They will know they’ve screwed up!). Good luck!
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My son is already booked in for Byron Bay schoolies next year. Of course I’ll worry while he’s away but he’ll be 18, he’s paying for it himself and he’s a good kid with nice mates. He’ll be atuni the following year so unless I want to bribe him every Thursday, Friday and Saturday night for 4 years I rather doubt that I can stop him drinking in groups of young people.
I did offer to pay for a flight to Ballina rather than let him drive. I’m more worried about p platters on bad roads than balcony incidents.
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I was so relieved that my year 12 student didnt go to schoolies. I was prepared to pay her not to go. Luckily for me she decided not to go herself (possibly influenced by her boyfriend).
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Alternative: check out http://www.queenstownschoolies.com.au
The healthier, safer, and so much more exciting alternative for Schoolies!!
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My schoolies experience was pretty awesome. But I went to Coffs with a group of friends instead, rented a few townhouses in a resort and spent the week just hanging out and relaxing. Sure we drank, but we looked out for each other. None of us had any inclination to go up to the GC – I don’t like crowds at the best of times and it certainly didn’t look appealing to me! A few years later I went to Uni games on the GC – although I enjoyed myself, it just showed me how much I wouldn’t have if I’d have gone when I was 17.
I think the key is to give them an alternative if you really object to the GC, but at the end of the day you need to trust in them!
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I went to schoolies… five years ago when I graduated. I hated it – although I believe that may have had something to do with a boy breaking my fragile, 17 year old heart, rather than alcohol. Had I not had the amazing, supportive friends I did, I might’ve drunk myself stupid – but I didn’t, and nor did they while they wiped my tears and told me he wasn’t worth it.
Plus, my parents raised me the European way – with wine at every meal, so I never felt the need to drink behind their backs to the point of illness – when I wasn’t moping around over that stupid boy, I was the girl holding her friends hair back – because my mum raised me well. (We were not on the Gold Coast, we were at Rottnest, which is the safest option in Perth cos there are no cars and they focus the night time activities as far away from water as possible)
My little sister didn’t go to schoolies – she had the option, but her OTHER (and far superior) option was to go to India for two weeks with me and my parents. We were blessed by an elephant in a temple, saw the Taj Mahal and attended our close Indian friend’s wedding – which was as bright and loud and fabulous as one would expect!
If you don’t want your kid going to schoolies – give them a better option. My sister wasn’t going to miss a trip to India for three days drunk with her friends who she could see any time! If they STILL insist on going, raise them with a healthy attitude towards alcohol, like my mum raised me.
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I heard on the news last night some researcher saying that our self congratulatory culture was going over the top and some parents were even taking their children to Paris to celebrate the end of school. What a fantastic idea my husband and I thought! Paris over schoolers, sign us up! We have 15 years to save!
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My son didn’t want to go to leavers, which was a good thing.
My daughter and three of her friends wanted to and we parents agreed as long as they weren’t going to Rottnest or Dunsborough, which are the two leavers hot spots from Perth.
The girls decided to go to Kalbarri which is 592Km north from Perth. We (the parents and the girls) had a meeting at what were the expectations. As they were still 17 we all agreed on absolutely no alcohol.
They caught the road bus up to Kalbarri. Four hours after she got to Kalbarri my daughter called me on her mobile and asked me to come and get her. The other three girls had already met older boys who had gone to the Hotel to get alcohol for them and were all drunk.
Unbeknown to us parents Kalbarri was the leavers hot spot for the kids who lived up north and it was awash with drunken youths.
My husband and I got into our car and drove for seven hours to pick her up and then we drove home again. Such is life. I’m glad she called and I’m glad we went and got her.
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Too many parents today, want to be their kids “Mates” first and their parents second. Until you are functioning with a mature adult brain, I am your parent. There is plenty of time later in life to be your mate…..While under my roof and care, I make the judgement calls…..
My daughter will not be attending schoolies in four years time. NO I do not intend on following her round for life. YES she gets in cars which has higher risk.
This is my decision, you are welcome to yours!!
Not a total bad cop….They have been to Disneyworld and instead of schoolies we will be seeing the Northern Lights in Canada.
(Just incase anyone thinks I have them locked in a tower…….. ; )…..)
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Like you, I never did the big schools thing either. And I get the whole point of wanting to celebrate the end of an era, and the end of a lifetime of school, but the question remains of how to do this responsibly.
It is so tragic, and all I hope is that other ‘would be schoolies’ also learn from this tragedy.
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ONE WAY I can suggest to do this responsibly is to offer them a family trip option.They didn’t have schoolies when my eldest two cousins graduated from high school in 1986 and 1989 respectively For them it was straight to work.Might I suggest a Group tour to the undiscovered parts of Asia if you are the ones paying for them open aged of course such as a Geckos or Peregrine and If they don’t mind waiting till Christmas You can go along too.
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I have a bit of a problem with the over the top congratulations and celebrations that go with kids finishing yr 12. A week long party filled with alcohol just for finishing school? It just seems over the top. I went up to the Sunshine Coast for the week with a few friends and had a nice time at the beach and hanging out. I think it’s a good idea to let kids have a little holiday with their mates but GC schoolies is soooo over the top! I probably sound like a kill joy but I find the self contragratulations are so self indulgent. It is a privilege to get an education. They don’t “deserve” to go party and drink etc. but so many of them think they do! They think that yr 12 is the hardest thing they will go through. I just wish they would get a bit of a reality check. So many of these kids think they “deserve” all these celebrations and then get to uni and can’t handle it because there is no one patting them on the back or chasing them up to do their work. They then waste everyone’s time for a whole semester by being disruptive and annoying at uni before they drop out in the middle of the year. It’s very easy to spot the spoilt kids who think because they finished yr 12 (and were praised so highly because of it) that uni will be a breeze. It doesnt matter how smart u are, if you mess around and dont do the work then u just wont make it at uni or tafe. I actually wonder if this over exaggeration about yr 12 being so hard and such a great achievement is why we have such a low retention rate at uni and tafe. My friend comes from Pakistan and his parents made sure he got the best education possible including sending him one of the best unis in the UK for his masters. There was no parties or over the top celebrations for finishing high school. It was just required of him to put in the work and get a good educatiion. My parents were the same. Education is extremly important and a reward in its own right. By having over the top celabrations for just finishing yr 12 it downplays teriary education and its importance. I think it also makes our kids very ego centric! Sorry if I sound like a grump it just drives me bonkers! Oh and it means I have to avoid the GC for a few weeks which can be annoying.
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I had never heard of schoolies when I was around Year 12, even so it would have been a cold day in hell when my mother let me go to something like that. I grew up with acceptable kinds of drinking and was allowed to partake from what most would consider to early. But I am my four siblings never hit 18 and obliterated ourselves because it just wasn’t that interesting to us. I know that there is such a thing as too young but I believe the value of modelling the right behaviour of moderation. I saw all my uncles,aunties and grandparents get a little merry but never smashed and never vomity. I was taught only idiots ruin their night out but going too far and making themselves sick. But I digress, I think if you don’t 100% believe your child will make great decisions then make the one that will get them through until their 20′s and say no. If they hate you well and good my nonno believed that the more your kids hated you the better the job you were doing. Extreme maybe but he saw his 12 year old brother try to protect his 8 yr old brother from a falling bomb ( ww2) intentions were good technique was not younger bro died. Needless loss of life is needless loss of life pure and simple. When I I have kids I’d rather them angry at me an alive than the other option
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I have a son at Schoolies – not the Gold Coast – there are alternatives and he and his mates don’t drink so looked for an alternative. He’s back tomorrow.
Meanwhile my daughter already has the Gold Coast booked for next year with her girlfriends. Am I stopping her? No. Am I educating her to make good decisions? Yes.
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Schoolies is certainly not a rite of passage, nor compulsory, in fact after raising a child to 17/ 18 and paying school fees all those years its the parents who deserve the week celebrating!! However – I expected my children to work hard at school, have part time jobs, play competitive sport on weekends and I then hoped/ encouraged them to do more study/ work/ sport after school. One week of being a slightly irresponsible teenager amongst all this committment didn’t seem too much for them to ask. I worried yes, but to overcome this and make a positive contribution , I volunteered at schoolies for many years and could then make a first hand judgement of the risks. I highly recommend this to anyone who has concerns for their children attending in the future. For an event that hosts 40,000 teenagers, its pretty well managed. THe tragedy that happened last night and has happened in the past is unthinkable, and I am so grateful that I was not the parent receiving this phone call. While there is a schoolies week, kids will want to go. Good luck with that one Mia.
No parent should feel guilty for allowing their child, nor stopping their child from attending but they should make an effort to know all the facts and make sure their kids do too.
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After what I witnessed first hand this weekend in SA I concur fully with Mia. Many parents have either no idea or simply turn a blind eye to the sheer debauched and dangerous activities these kids willingly participate in. Yes there’s a tribe of amazing volunteers and organized events for them but I was privy to copious unconscious underage girls and boys, wild pack like attacks on female peers, attacks on defenseless wildlife, the list goes on. Just say no! They WILL get over it and may not talk to you for a few days but enjoy that peace and quiet and rest next November knowing you’ve undoubtedly done one of the best things you can for your child.
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What happened at schoolies this week (and indeed in previous years) is devastating. There is no arguing with that, it is awful and I cannot imagine what her family are going through.
I went to schoolies in 2003 and I had no problems, I had the absolute time of my life with my girlfriends and I met a really nice boy. Seven years later, we got married. No word of a lie. Now I know I am probably the only person to have ever met husband material at schoolies (and I have to say we are sometimes too embarrassed to admit it) but if my parents had of made me stay when all my friends went to the Gold Coast I would have been devastated. I would have missed out on what was a fantastic and fun week.
I don’t think the answer is stopping kids from going. I don’t pretend to know what the answer is, but I really don’t think that is it…
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I know someone who is still with her man 10 years later. It does happen! x
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my daughter meet her first serious boyfriend on the beach on the first day of schoolies (not at the gold coast). Five years later they are engaged and have bought their first home……. He took her back to the beach side spot where it all began to propose. So you are not alone but I’ m sure you are in a very small minority.
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I went to schoolies on the Gold Coast 12 years ago and to be honest, I thought it was overrated. There’s not actually a lot to do on the Gold Coast except go down to the beach or roam the street. And I think it’s a shameless rip off of teenagers, most of them have worked through year 12 in crappy part-time jobs at take away joints to save for it, and most people I knew didn’t get their bond back. The prices of hotels and apartments during schoolies is outrageous.
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I’m sick of hearing about all these parents bribing their kids with a trip overseas with the family instead, or a car, or cash, or whatever it is. How about you just say no? It’s one word, two letters and if they don’t like it, too bloody bad. It just may end up saving their life.
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I have offered my daughter a trip overseas, together, without her three siblings, if she gets good marks at school. My cousin and her daughter (also graduating) will join us, as will their grandmothers.
While it is an alternative to schoolies there is more to it, we want to take the time to acknowledge the transition from being a child to a woman. We will spend the time swimming and sunning but also talking and hopefully she will learn a bit more about the women in her life, a bit more about how to be an adult and a bit more about herself.
I think this is a far more positive rite of passage than getting drunk with her mates will be.
When our boys graduate, they will do something with dad/uncles/grandfathers.’
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That sounds like a wonderful rite of passage, but what happens if she doesn’t get good marks? No celebration of going from child to woman?
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Of course there will be, it just won’t be in Hawaii
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Easy to say if it’s the parents paying for it – almost all of my mates 100% paid our own way to schoolies! I had a great time but wouldn’t have hesitated to back out of schoolies for an overseas trip paid for by my folks!
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My son did year 12 last year, daughter this year.
I guess I am lucky that in SA, Schoolies is held in the beautiful seaside town of Victor Harbour and organised on a massive scale, with over 600 volunteers for the 6500 schoolies that attended over 3 nights last weekend.
The town is a dry zone and yes, while drinking goes on (most of these kids are 18 remember) it is done in confined spots.
The organised event / festival is all alcohol free and the volunteers are amazing. Free buses take the kids from Adelaide so that they are not all on the roads.
From what myown children have told me, yes sure, there are drunk kids everywhere, there are toolies, some kids play up, but I am SO GLAD that their schoolies is not on the scale of the Gold Coast schoolies, where Im sure everything is put in place to make it safe, but youre still in a densely populated area amongst high rise buildings. And it goes on for weeks.
no thanks!
As for Bali…I’d lost my shit if my child said they wanted to go to bali for schoolies. 18 years old or not.
I think you have to put values in places YEARS before your child gets to year 12. you cant just let them do what they want and then freak out when things go wrong.
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What about O-week at uni?
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I didn’t go to Schoolies for two reasons. The first is that I have no desire to be around drunken idiots, most of whom are over 25 and are going there to have sex with as many 17 year olds as they can. And secondly, and most importantly, my parent’s wouldn’t let me. Instead, I went to a friends house and we had movie marathons and ate chocolate for 3 days.
The following week I was bombard with stories from my other friends saying how terrible it was and it was just a waste of money. They all had the same story though, “$2,000 all to get spewed and peed on, and groped by older men, what a waste of time”. 2 of my friends left on the second day because they were nearly assaulted, and of course they didn’t get their money back on the room.
I do think that if the media limited their exposure of the Schoolies phenomena, it will gradually die down. Because a lot of my male friends only went there to get on the news. Sad, but true.
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I think there might have been a bit of exaggeration in those reports there Kathryn.
I did schoolies, I had alot of fun and yeah it is completely overrated but I was never in any dangerous situation, I was never hanging around older men or women and I was certainly not in any situation where someone could have peed on me! WTH?
This statement puzzles me a bit ‘drunken idiots, most of whom are over 25…….’ – umm what? This is completely lacking of common sense? If 17 year old girls are choosing to have sex with 25 year olds then that is a choice they made and irrelevant to anything else. Also – while there may be drunken idiots everywhere that would be because it is the gold coast – specifically surfers!
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Cool, sounds like in your group you had a great time, I’m actually glad. Perhaps yours was a better year? You may not believe me, which is fine (I don’t really care), but just so anyone is wondering, I would never exaggerate about being harassed and assaulted. I thought it was a bit of an exaggeration, until I saw the videos. I can honestly say, I’ve never been more disgusted. Truly revolting in every sense of the word.
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Very well said
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My son has been at schoolies this week and its been the longest week imaginable – I’ve been counting down the days and am so looking forward to hopefully seeing him tomorrow in one piece.
I hate schoolies, I really do. We always said we’d never let him go to schoolies, that we’d bribe him with overseas trips, cars etc etc which we did and somehow during the stress of HSC year we weakened and allowed him to go. I wish we could have stopped him but he’s 18, we can’t wrap him up in cotton wool, and we just have to hope and pray that he will be sensible enough, and his mates will be caring enough to look out for him if things turn for the worse.
I said to my wife last night that I feel that somewhere along the line we as a society have failed these kids. The fact that they somehow feel the need to write themselves off with alcohol and drugs as a ‘celebration’ just indicates how little we have offered as an alternative and how little we have progressed since we did the same decades ago. Everything else in our country has changed dramatically in this time but reverence for alcohol abuse as a ‘rite of passage’ is very sad, and something that does not sit well for us. We have worked very hard to give our kids opportunities that we never had yet this opportunity is compromised by this country’s stupid preoccupation with getting written off. And for those who say schoolies isn’t about drinking yourself stupid – you are wrong.
As I said, I really hate schoolies. I just want my son back tomorrow.
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Well said. I feel for her parents. My daughter is only 4 but I could imaging the horror of what they are going through. She was a gorgeous girl too!!
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Totally agree James. My daughter goes to the same school as the girl who died, and the whole school community was devastated today to hear the tragic news. Teachers were in tears.
It is not a rite of passage. Non stop drinking and partying for a week is not something that parents should passively accept. The reality is that a girl died – a family is torn apart – her school friends will live with that for the rest of their lives, and yet people say it hardly ever happens – but it did! Imagine if it was your child! Today I realised what it means to have a heavy heart.
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Give me a break! My sons survived and I like to think I influenced their behaviour. Any gathering of 20000people whether young or old will always end in tears for some . That’s statistics. Harsh reality and we all keep our fingers crossed. Teach them responsibility, self respect, and to look after their mates.
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My childrens school has a big & compulsory formal dinner on the night that schoolies starts, one of the many reasons I love that school.
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If you stop your teenager from going to schoolies then you deny them an Australian right of passage, after what will likely have been the most difficult year of their lives (year 12). A lot of kids AREN’T idiots, and can be safe.
As an alternative though, maybe you could suggest they go somewhere with their friends over NYE or something – a late schoolies – so they’re not surrounded by other schoolies people.
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I completely disagree, Schoolies is not a right of passage for Australian kids. It’s just been blown out of proportion in the media the last decade, and by doing so, it’s made everyone think it’s a right of passage. It’s not like Schoolies has been going on for over a hundred years… I agree that not all kids are idiots, but put in a situation like that, they become effortlessly unguarded. Kids need to blow off steam, I get it, I was like that 2 years ago when I finished year 12, but there are better, cheaper and more importantly, safer ways to do it.
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I do think it is used as a rite of passage in Australia, but I do not believe it do be a very productive one, and it is one that further encourages this county’s dependence on and abuse of alcohol for every celebration and milestone.
Rites of passage have been seen to be fundamental in human growth and development, but the type of rites can impact a young person’s place in society.
I think going back to the old days of a grand ball – like a state function almost – would be much more sophisticated, it would be grown up and important, and it would be a significant way to ‘introduce’ young people to society not just confused kids awash with alcohol and open to predators and other harm.
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Is it really a rite of passage? It seems to me that only a small number of students actually go to Gold Coast or Bail for schoolies but the media coverage every year seems to magnify it, and play on parents fears.
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It’s so sad. However I don’t imagine many parents have bribeable options at hand whicih seem ‘better’ to a student than a week of freedom with their mates…schoolies is probably quite cheap. Expensive holidays not so much. Schoolies wasn’t really a thing when I was graduating…I think I got a pair of shoes from my mum. Probably from Kmart.
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Schoolies isn’t necessarily about drinking yourself stupid. Many do that, yes, but ‘many’ doesn’t mean ‘majority’. Literally all through high school, from year seven, friends talk about all the places they want to go together when ‘real life’ starts, and a post-graduation celebration is the perfect opportunity. If you know how to be safe/which places to avoid it can be awesome.
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I went to schoolies when I finished school 8 years ago. It really wasn’t as wild as people think. I’ve seen much worse things in Sydney on a Saturday night. I am sure Mia got drunk and was a little wild as a 17 or 18 year old. These kids just want to feel a little independence. Trust in your children! There is no need to pretend that because one girl unfortunately died that this is the norm.
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I’m a year 12 student from Perth, and i’m about to go to leavers in a few days. A few of my friends and i are going down and NONE of us drink. At all. And this week wont any exception. It’s not just about “drinking yourself stupid,” for us its just a chance to have a bit of freedom for a few days after 14 years of schooling and just have some fun together. Banning schoolies isn’t going to make this problem disappear, what will happen instead are hundreds of out of control parties to celebrate the end of school all in the same weekend. I don’t know about any of you, but a well organised event at a single location, with readily available aid and plenty of police officers around to stop it from getting too wild sounds a lot safer to me…
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Give them a better option. My friend organised an overseas holiday for just her son and hubby it was to a place her son wanted to go and he took the bait and skipped schoolers for it. I’m taking her idea for sure.
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Parents should stop being afraid of their children and simply say no. It’s really very simple. No you can’t go to schoolies. No bribes necessary, just a simple no. We must not forget that WE are the adults in the relationship. WE know what is best for our children end of story. ‘NO’ should begin in early childhood and continue until our children reach adulthood. as for all this talk of bribes, thats a really quick way to lose all respect from your children. No means, no. we love our children enough not to be scared of them and they will respect us and one day understand our decisions as unpoplar as we might make
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yes, yes, yes to that!
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Err, that’s good in theory…except 17 years olds have the capacity to say ‘eff you’ back and go without your consent. That’s what I did. My parents put up a fight but I paid for it all by myself. I told them I was going and if they didn’t like it, they could kick me out. So off I went. Had a good time and kept my wits about me. My friends and I were all fine. My parents weren’t happy but the alternative was locking me in my bedroom and completely alienating me. What could they do?
Driving a car is riskier than going to schoolies FYI. Will you let your children drive a car??
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As a parent, I refuse to let fear of ‘alienating’ my child stop me from saying no to them when I believe it is in their best interests. A child with a solid foundation built on love and respect will one day understand and appreciate all the ‘mean’ decisions I have made in regards to their welfare. To answer your question, of course my children are allowed to drive their cars. Your comparison is quite simplistic in that regard.
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Sophie, I think you missed lizzies point there – it doesn’t matter if you say no, if the 17 yo can pay and book their way without your consent, your blessing is irrelevant to their going.
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Apologies for terrible grammer and typo’s above…..typed on ipad one handed whilst feeding baby.
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I disagree with this. I was 18 at schoolies, and legally an adult. I was fiercely independent and wouldn’t have taken a “no” from my mum. It was not her decision to make. Of course, she had the choice to make any demand or present any ultimatum that she wanted, but I had the choice not to accept and deal with the consequences, as an adult. She didn’t try that though, instead she trusted me… and asked that I call her once a day, which I did. I had a ball and don’t regret it. That was 13 years ago…
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Parents these days are too scared to say no to their children, they are scared they won’t be liked anymore and won’t be their ‘friend’.
So Sophie as much as I agree with you it ain’t gonna happen. From the cot these kids have been getting what they want and bribed to be good, so by the time they get to yr 12 and schoolies the parents haven’t got a hope in hell of changing their minds.
These kids do not know the meaning of the word NO. It is not in their vocabulary.
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I asked one of my year 12 students how she planned to celebrate and she said that she and about 15 friends were packing a picnic and going to the royal botanical gardens. Such maturity.
I’m celebrating them finishing by partying tomorrow night. Haha.
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That’s the spirit
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In a similar vein many children are killed as passengers in cars, should we be not allowing children in cars? Or banning children crossing roads?
These are young adults, not children yet we take risks everyday with our kids?
Wasn`t there an article here recently about a 17 year old becoming a sex worker, where was the opposing article suggesting that her parents not allow her to take up this profession?
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Of course not, but we stop them from drinking and driving… so why not stop them from going on the week long drinking binge that is schoolies? Why do they have to go away for a week, spend the entire week getting wasted?
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A general discussion on the merits, or not, of schoolies is absolutely appropriate. However to frame it in the context of a young woman who has died (with much police evidence pointing towards a non-accidental death i.e. a jump not a fall) is not cool. A bit of sensitivity please and how about we discuss schoolies in general terms and do not reference this tragic event in this context. Thanks.
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Thank god the voice of reason (Forty cents) speaks in the midst of anti-schoolies mania. It makes me very uncomfortable to read an article urging parents not to send their children to schoolies based on the death of a girl of which we do not yet know the circumstances.
My parents (staunch Catholics) were overjoyed to send us to Schoolies. They thought it was a fantastic rite of passage and wished they had had the same opportunity themselves when they finished school.
There are very few incidents for a gathering of 30,000 people. If you don’t want to send your children, well don’t, but please back up opinion articles based on the facts.
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What has being Catholic go to do with it?
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I think Laura was outlining this as alot of staunch Catholics wouldn’t be promoting an event like this to their teenage children incase of and wavering in their behaviour etc..
Laura – Sounds like your parents believed they did a good job in instilling the best bahviour/beliefs they could and had enough trust in their daughter to take it from there.
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Thanks Giraffe. I was merely saying that those of the staunch Catholic persuasion would perhaps be expected to be at the forefront of anti-schoolies movement.
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Why do these young people feel it is their right to celebrate finishing year 12 with a “schoolies holiday”. I feel they have been privileged to have an education, (unlike many children of other cultures, and other Australians of prior years who had to leave school at 14/15 and get a job to help support themselves (as I did). None if my 3 children had “schoolie holidays” either.
They had part-time jobs to have some spending money during their University years ahead.
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I don’t want to discuss the situation with the young lady who died, as the full story is not know.
On the actual subject of schoolies, I really don’t understand how it has come about. Yes, exams are stressful, but so are lots of people’s jobs and lives and adults certainly don’t generally head off on a boozer just because they’ve had a big year at work, or some kind of family stress. When I finished school I spent the time before Christmas looking for waitressing/casual retail work so I would have some money. How do these kids even afford to be flying to the Gold Coast and staying in hotels?
Being at school and living at home with all your living expenses taken care of is the easiest you’re ever going to get it during life. Why kids these days (oh my, did I just say ‘kids these days’!) think they deserve a big drinking binge for finishing school is beyond me.
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With all due respect, Kids these days, kids of yester year, kids of yore, totally deserve a holiday after a stressful 12 years at school – I most certainly do not begrudge them the opportunity to celebrate what is a momentous occassion. Students theses days work under exceptional work loads – some high school students work up to 25 hours per week, complete a rigorous program of study and manage busy extra curricular calendars. When did people get so old and so self righteous?
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I disagree ClaireC – these are kids – why should they go into the hamsterwheel of life immediately before having some fun?
Each phase of life can be tough and stress releif is due in all of them. As for adults not being able to? Umm.. Friday drinks? Weekends of dinner & friends, yearly or more holidays?
As for the affording – well I personally had a part-time job from the age of 14 and used my savings to pay for it – 1 schoolies rule in our house was that the parents don’t pay for that (but Dad slipped me a $50). In regards to living at home/expenses etc that is called choosing to have children so pay for them. We had a standard rule at home if you are at school it’s free if you are at uni or working it’s board and contribution to running the household. Seems fair to me..
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Sorry, but I don’t find the headline for this article very respectful toward this girl’s grieving family, whom many of us know here in Queensland. Would you be prepared to stand there and say that to them right now?
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Bribing 17-18 year olds not to go to Schoolies is ridiculous and smacks of helicopter parenting and wrapping kids in cotton wool.
What happened is an absolute tragedy. But I think post is an over-reaction. Accidents happen.
My eldest is 2 years away from Schoolies. At present she has no interest and thinks its revolting but this could change.
She is more interested in going overseas instead (not Bali) but if she does I certainly wont be paying for her. I’ve supported her for 16 years now and when she’s 18 she will have to make her own decisions and pay her own way.
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I’m sorry but the response from this has been ridiculous. The majority of students who go to schoolies don’t die and have a good time. I went to schoolies last year, we went to a beach house in a small town. Schoolies isn’t inherently dangerous, this was a terrible accident. We shouldn’t let this stop future school leaves from enjoying a holiday with friends.
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I can not believe how the media has jumped on this. The circumstances of this poor girls death are still unknown to the public. Please show some respect to her grieving family.
Thousands of kids go to schoolies week, just let the kids be kids, the incidence of something going wrong is very minimal.
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I notice a lot of the commenter are suggesting it is the drinking culture and we just need to teach the kids how to drink responsibly. Just wondering how you do that?
The schools have PDHPE lessons that spell out the dangers of drugs and alcohol. I don’t think that watching parents drink “responsibly” is necessarily a guarantee that their children will. Indeed, most of may friends parents were not big drinkers or tee totalers but that certainly did not stop them from drinking way too much, myself included. We used to joke about how many brain cells we were killing.
I do think that there is more evidence that drinking under 25 is damaging to the brain than there was 20 years ago but am not sure that message is strong enough.
So, how do we do this educating? How will it overcome peer pressure? How do you overcome the fact that even a couple of drinks for an adolescent brain is going to break down inhibitions and make saying “I’ve had enough” that much harder?
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