Do you blame your sex education class for the teenage rebellion and degrading life of obscene promiscuity that followed?
No? You sure?
This Sunday, American doctor Miriam Grossman will speak at a Melbourne public school – and she will tell you, that you should.
The Australian Family Association is sponsoring Grossman, who describes herself as “100 per cent MD, 0 per cent PC” to give a free talk about how we’re endangering the lives of our kids through sex education.
In a 2007 speech, Grossman said “Now we should be alarmed but we should not be surprised when there’s so much hooking-up and so much casual sex and then so many casualties from all these behaviours, because kids have been led to believe, by mainstream health organisations, that this is okay.”
ABC’s PM covered the story last night.
JOURNALIST: Among her views, Dr Grossman believes condoms don’t protect against the spread of sexually transmitted infections and HIV. She says evidence that oral sex causes throat and mouth cancer is being withheld from teenagers and that girls need to be taught to have children early and often, as a way to ward off breast cancer.
The Australian Family Association is sponsoring Dr Grossman’s tour. It booked the school theatre at Glen Eira College in Melbourne’s inner south-east. Vice-president Terri Kelleher says the Association wants a rethink of sex education in schools.
TERRI KELLEHER: Talking about the sexuality programs for all young people and the main messages she sees as being damaging; The way in which condoms are presented as protecting you from sexually transmitted diseases and infection – you know, there’s a false sense of security; that’s her point…
JOURNALIST: Victoria’s Health Services Commissioner Beth Wilson is concerned about the talk being held in a state school. She says Dr Grossman’s views are political more than they are scientific.
BETH WILSON: I get very concerned with people who have medical degrees saying that their political beliefs are in fact based on scientific evidence when they quite clearly are not. And I think it is unfortunate that it is associated with the school.
Do you think sex education needs an overhaul? Is it appropriate for a public school to be playing host to such a controversial speaker? What are your memories of sex education at school?
Comments
74 Comments so far
I totally agree with Dr Miriam.
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teenagers are gonna have sex whenever they want regardless of how much or how little sex ed they get, the sex ed’s good for teaching them how to do it safely. no health teacher is going to say casual sex is a good thing, they just aim at teaching teens how to do it safely if they’re going to do it at all.
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Jess,
If teenagers are going to have sex “unprotected”, then they will never be able to do the act safely.
What I mean by “unprotected” is not that they fail to take all the “necessary” precautions (drugs, condoms, etcetera), but that they do it with whomever they want without be bound to that person (marriage).
Condoms and preventative drugs have consistently failed to protect people from a large number of diseases (like AIDS) and “unwanted” pregnancies. (“accidental” pregnancies… because pregnancy is obvious something that never supposed to occur naturally from sex…)
I can “sorta” see the possible benefits to teaching sex education towards kids who are maturing, however, I doubt that it is being taught in a successful way. From what I know, sex education basically tells you “sex is great, we all know you are going to do it” but they also say “BUT only if you take a whole bunch of drugs to prevent pregnancy and STDs and your boyfriend wears a condom”. Somehow I doubt they emphasize just how unreliable such “preventatives” really are (diseases can still get through an intact condom, pregnancy even with pills). However, since kids are being told that they will pretty much be fine since “today’s world provides all the answers”, they will have sex and many will contract diseases and/or result in pregnancy. Not to mention the promiscuity from kids who find out the first person was “great for a time being, but then the feelings disappeared”, then moved on to another person due to the same feelings of “love”. (Not to mention kids who tend to forget to take their pill and the condom rips.)
This would not occur to all kids, but a lot.
Sure, teaching abstinence will not work with everyone, just like teaching kids cheating a test is wrong will not prevent cheating. But abstinence until marriage (for both people) is the best way to not get sex-spread diseases and “accidental” pregnancies. Plus, with abstinence, one would basically not even need all those pills (plus no pill-side-effects) and condoms. It might be boring and require loads of self-control, but it works if people do it.
So, teaching kids about ways that can prevent “unwanted results” does not mean they are “safe”, perhaps less of a risk, but not a very good one.
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I think she is very brave to go against the current status quo and as a parent of a 6 year old girl I thoroughly support her. Sex education is increasingly about ideology which is only too apparent from the comments below. More to the point it starts earlier and earlier and now starts in Year 1. That’s fine – if its your ideological viewpoint you can educate your children how you want and I won’t stop you but its not mine. I know a thing or too about ideology having forebears who were communists at a time when there was a communist party in Australia.
The research supporting the health effects of sex education in Australia in terms of health is very poor. I have been to the source literature that is often quoted and the studies consist of surveys of students with response rates less than 30% which is meaningless data. Any statistician can tell you this. I am not saying that there is not a health argument but show me a well researched study and don’t quote rubbish stats.
There has been comprehensive sex education in public US schools for years yet the pregnancy and STD rate keeps rising and the answer is apparently yet more education which is not logical.
Dr Grossman is also correct in that the average teenager does not manage risk well particularly when they have to make quick decisions no matter how much they know or cognitively understand due to the underdevelopment of various parts of the brain until the twenties. Yet if you try and argue the facts you just get abused for being a religious nutter or going against the trend.
I am happy to listen to facts but I will go to the source and check them rather than listen to people quoting percentages from studies they have not even read. I am not the least religious by the way. As for the comment that the media should not be airing her views – please – what about free speech.
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Who but Jack would do such a thing? It’s up to you.He does everything without aim.How are you doing with your new boss?This house is my own.Her handbag goes with her clothes.Her handbag goes with her clothes.Don’t move!Do you accept credit cards? The best-known movie awards are the Academy Awards.
cheapuggsoutletstyle.blogspot.com http://cheapuggsoutletstyle.blogspot.com
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okay im in grade 9 and yes i have had sex ed, no it dosnt make kids want to have sex in a way i learned it actually puts a negitive effect on sex, my teacher told me it hurts so it put down as a negitive effect for me otherwise it made this boy (no names) horny!!!
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I think sex ed is a fantastic idea. You cant stop teenagers from having sex, so u should focus instead on teaching them about doing it correctly and safely.
I went to a lutheran private school in australia, and my sex ed classes were about:
5th grade- being “safe and unsafe” (not letting people touch us or see us naked, etc.)
6th and 7th grade- puberty, body image, body parts, periods
8th grade-sexual intercourse and being “ready”, sexual urges
9th grade- safe sex, abortions, birth control, STI
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I was in high school in the 80s during the Grim Reaper AIDS ad days so most of the focus was on using condoms (and we did indeed have to put condoms on bananas – I was one of the cheeky girls who deliberately ate the banana afterwards but hey that’s a story for another post).
Unfortunately this was in Year 9 and my (unwanted) sexual experiences had already occurred years before.
My children have been taught about sex from an early age – the answers to their questions evolving as they got older, starting with teaching them to tune into their tummy butterflies to recognise unhealthy contact and moving onto subjects like homosexuality and transgender etc.
There has been a biological explanation for both my son and my daughter but the main focus has been on self respect. My daughter is now 13 and we have ongoing conversations about different aspects of sexuality and the recognition that as a girl she may be pressured to have sex earlier than she would like. No judgement is ever attached to these discussions because that would be extremely hypocritical of me – I was quite promiscous as a teen due to my earlier experiences of abuse.
We also discuss sexting and naked photos and porn because in today’s online driven society these subjects (unheard of when I was her age) cannot be avoided. I have explained to her that respect (and reputation) once lost is difficult to regain. Ultimately though, she will make her own decisions and mistakes. I have given her the knowledge, she will process and use it in her own unique way.
A few postscripts:
1. A book I cannot recommend highly enough which has supplemented my teaching is Girl Stuff by Kaz Cooke. This discusses masturbation and oral sex etc in an educational and non-judgemental way and is just excellent.
2. My daughter was meant to have been taught sex ed in last year of primary school but due to Naplan scheduling it was sidelined and she did not learn it until half way through Year 8
3. Despite growing up in the condom age, as a single dating woman now I still struggle to get any man to wear one… no matter what his age. Dating and sex in this “market”, at the age of 40, feels like I am in a timewarp and I am 16 again – I face the same silly issues I faced then – perhaps there is a post in that?
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In the US, 37 states are required to teach abstinence only methods of contraception and STI/STD prevention. THE US HAS THE HIGHEST RATES OF TEEN PREGNANCY AND STIs IN THE INDUSTRIALISED WORLD. In the US “in 2007, a federal report showed that abstinence-only programs had “no impacts on rates of sexual abstinence.”
Clearly it is the non-teaching of sex education that is “endangering lives” and not the other way around. This kind of campaigning is dangerous and it should not be tolerated in this country.
http://thinkprogress.org/health/2012/04/10/461402/teen-pregnancy-sex-education/?mobile=nc
http://web.archive.org/web/20070428065800/http://www.advocatesforyouth.org/publications/stateevaluations/index.htm
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It is well documented that in Holland, where sex education starts very early and is a whole community approach encompassing media, schools and family, and where condom vending machines are in schools (horror! ) the average age of first intercourse is 17 and young people are more likely to have practiced safe sex and not regretted their first experience.
In Australia, where sex ed is inconsistent and often absent (it’s not compulsory and there are no compulsory guidelines or supervision of delivery) the average first age for sex is 14 and the practice of safe sex less likely.
There is no argument here as far as I’m concerned.
Incidentally,, I consider myself a Christian and in light of the above facts cannot understand how the teachings of Jesus could be seen to be in opposition to in depth sexuality education. Go figure.
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“People seem to feel able to make the most sweeping statements about the Netherlands without producing any evidence whatsoever to support their theses.”
Dutch citizen and sociologist Dr Joost van Loon.
In “Deconstructing the Dutch Utopia: Sex Education and Teenage Pregnancy in the Netherlands” van Loon argues that to say the Dutch rates are low because of high-quality, explicit and early sexuality education is incorrect. In fact, sex ed in the Netherlands doesn’t start earlier than in the UK and it does not conform to a ‘Dutch model’ (there is no national curriculum).
http://www.famyouth.org.uk/pdfs/LDM.pdf
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I believe it’s actually Scandinavian countries that are the model for the “early and honest sex-ed = lower teen pregnancy rate”
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I don’t know about the Netherlands, but living in Australia I agree somewhat with what you said, I only ever got the basic talk in year 7, a lot of people I knew had sex at 14 & now I’m 18 & a lot of people my age are falling pregnant
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The media should not be giving this Dr Grossman credibility by posting articles that indulge in her dangerous views. This is as bad as anti-vaxers being given credibility and like them the issue should only be up for discussion for the purposes of shooting them down with the evidence. Kids need sex education; without it they will only go out and have sex without the right precautions and this is made evident by the massive numbers of teen pregnancies in the US where kids don’t get proper sex education. I am outraged that this person was given an opportunity to speak at a public school.
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Anyone heard of Edward C. Green? He has said that the distribution of condoms may be aggravating the problem of AIDS in Africa. That may seem bizarre when we hear it.
Or that “condoms have never been found to be used consistently in any general population.” That’s closer to home.
“Abstinence and being faithful’ are a fundamental part of the solution to AIDS in Africa. Would that apply to Australia and STDs or STIs? Decide for yourself by looking at the internet sites for youth!
Green has served as Director of the AIDS Prevention Research Project at the Harvard Center for Population and Development Studies. He has over 35 years of experience in developing countries. http://www.newparadigmfund.org/research/index.html
Don’t shoot the messengers.
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Look I don’t for a minute believe that sex education causes promiscuity, BUT, the incidence of mouth and throat cancer is on the rise as a result of increasing incidence of oral sex amongst people. The reason is that the HPV virus can be transmitted from one person to another and this can and does cause cancer in the mouth and throat. Sad, but true.
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Yessss… and perhaps sex education warning teenagers of this issue would help reduce these rising rates! What’s your point? Knowledge is power, as they say!
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In my opinion, Dr Grossman reminds me of a religious fanatic and as well as putting the fear of god in kids heads, it’s the fear of sex as well. Knowledge is power.
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I went to Catholic school at both primary and secondary level. Surprisingly, sex ed went out the window in Year 5 or so (which, at the point, was more about periods, etc). High school, not even before we went off into the big wide world, nothing. Might I mention, this was an all girls school, so a lot of things were learnt from friends’ stories, their friends and so on. So, while I didn’t miss out on information, the school should not have sidelined the topic.
Yes, being Catholic, it was always going to be the case that contraception wouldn’t be mentioned, but surely there was a way to address questions, etc — particularly from some of the girls who maybe weren’t quite sure or hadn’t heard friends’ stories.
I had sex in Year 10, and while I knew how things worked (to some extent) and to use a condom, I had no clue about STIs, or anything else that could go wrong. Of course, the boy hot what we wanted and didn’t speak to me again. Surely even the strictest of schools Gould run a subject or even one-off seminars about the realities of sex, the need for self respect, etc. At 15 to 16, that can be hard to understand.
As for sex ed encouraging sex, I disagree entirely. Yes, it ‘normalises’ underage sex, but it’s inevitable and that should be recognised! If doctors/teachers/parents know what’s happening, education is definitely the key.
I’d love to hear any experiences of someone who went to either a public or fully private school!
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Sorry for the shonky spelling! Some quick typing going on there!
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Grossman’s views are very disturbing, and it is concerning to see how much credence she has been given by the NZ and Australian media.
Grossman is a religious social conservative, and her scaremongering tactics are at best, amusing, at worst – downright harmful. She has been associated with some rather scary groups/causes (including one who supports ‘ex-gays’) – here is a great blog post from someone who has investigated her a bit – http://history-herstory-scubanurse.blogspot.co.nz/2012/06/dr-miriam-grossman-lies-bent-truths-and.html
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I havent yet read the posts below, but no, no, no! Is ths Dr for real? Having factual and open sex education is the key to our children making sound decisions when they decide to have sex. Being educated wont make them want to have sex any earlier than someone who hasn’t received good education in fact I believe it might do the opposite.. Goodness me I can’t believe I am reading this woman’s nonsense in ths day and age!!!! I have two daughters, aged 6 and 3 and they’re going to get the facts straight fom me.
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what a ridiculous idea!
what next, drugging our children to remove the hormones that actually physically assist us to mature and thereby DO incite the URGE to do sexual things?
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You only need to look at the statistics from American states that teach abstinence only sex ed vs. more comprehensive sex ed. Abstinence only educated teens tend to have the same amount of sex but it is more risky (more STI’s and more unplanned pregnancies in teens).
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Without putting too much thought into it, I’d say that sex ed doesn’t make kids want to have sex – hormones do.
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Sex education is the only way to go.
Out my my group of girlfriends in high school, the ones who received sex education in an honest, open forum, that wasn’t just biological based were the ones who did not regret their first encounter, used condoms and lost their virginity to a partner they were committed to at the time. And still do practice safe sex as well as get tested once a year and are very good with their sexual health.
The ones who only received fact/biological based sex ed or none at all were the ones who slept with whoever, engaged in unsafe sex and would use sex as a way to keep their boyfriends.
I’m not saying that the above is the case for every single person. It most definitely is not, but the above outcome isn’t all that uncommon when you ask people about their experiences and their friend’s experiences.
Also, how can a doctor claim that condoms don’t prevent sti’s? Of course some people will still catch an Sti despite being careful but how completely careless and reckless of a doctor to say that to kids!
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Her name is Grossman .Yes I’m juvenile lol.”today , dr Grossman is going to explain to us how condoms are useless ” …it fits so perfectly I’m purring with delight .
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curiosity killed the cat but education brought him back.
I personally believe that sex education belongs in the home, but having said that, both my kids received some form of sex education at school.
Do i believe that sex education promotes promiscuity? No, I believe if anything that it would help empower kids to put off sex until the time was right for them.
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I think it should be too however, as some parents don’t want to have these discussions with their kids, I think it’s good that they at least have an avenue where they can get the information.
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MissV sadly I think you are right, but as a mum to two girls I cannot believe this attitude. I have a few friends who try to avoid answering thir children’s questions, or provide a ‘tasteful’ answer, but I think this is really wrong long term.
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And then there’s this, which is really only a hop and skip away from Miriam’s own pearls of wisdom.
http://jezebel.com/5922149/hallelujah-secret-keeper-girl-is-here-to-save-your-slatternly-trollop-of-a-preteen-daughter
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Australian Family Association. Enough said. I’m surprised the Australian Christian Lobby isn’t a co-sponsor as they’re pretty much one and the same thing. This isn’t just a political agenda by the AFA it’s a religious one.
And we know how well abstinence-only sex ed works.
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Miriam Grossman, the darling of the ultraconservative religious right in the good old USA. Beloved by those who think that you should never let facts and solid evidence get in the road of your weird theological beliefs.
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Well said. This woman is scary and it’s distressing to see her false claims garnering media attention.
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I still hate the fact that the host organisation has such an innocuous nice sounding name….”Australian Family Association”….should be a law against deliberately misleading names for organisations. They are against my little Australian family and all other families and practices that do not conform to their right wing religious views. This lovely bunch of people peddle hateful and homophobic rubbish all in the name of “normal and natural families”.
Fortunately most people see through them and their cherry picked ‘speakers’. Australian’s aren’t suckers and we know sex-ed is good for our kids and our society.
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I totally agree. But then as a Christian I have the same issue with groups like the ACL acting like all Christians think the same hateful things they do.
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*head explodes*
OK- this is just shameful. Let’s go through the evidence. Study after study has found that depriving young people of vital information about their bodies does not have any impact on the liklihood of them having sex. What it does have an impact on is the liklihood of them practicing safe sex. (i.e. abstinence education does not dissuade young people frrom having sex. They still have sex, they just don’t have safe sex).
These religious affiliated groups and their hired guns are actually exposing young people to risk by denying them access to health related information. Shame on you.
Also for the record- the throat cancer that can be caused by oral sex is related to HPV-16, which is the same virus that gardasil innoculates against. And guess what else? Those same religious zealots who are preaching abstinence are the same ones who also are trying to deny young women access to Gardasil. I’ve written about that here:
http://www.onlineopinion.com.au/view.asp?article=9054
I’m going to go right out there and say it: banning condoms or preaching against them (as the Pope has also done in the past) is reckless, irresponsible and outright fuct. it astounds me that these so called ‘leaders’ are still alowed to peddle blatantly false information that puts people’s lives at risk.
Oh Mia- my head is quite literally exploding!
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Thanks for the link, Nina. An informative and well written article.
It baffles me that the Catholic Church — an institution that was the product of the dark ages — has so much sway and influence in the 21st century.
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Slighty off-topic but I hope “fuct” wasn’t a typo because I am stealing it and using from now on.
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What rubbish. has the woman not heard on the Internet or porn? Kids know what happens and are doing from a young age so they deserve facts and decent information
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Lets face it humans are sexual beings and as kids grow into young adults and biological things like hormones take over its is not only natural but normal for them to want to experiment and find out how all this stuff works. What our role as adults is, is to arm them with enough and the correct knowledge to make the best decisions (and that goes way beyond sex). I would love to see sex education go beyond the biological and talk about the emotional. This way we may have more boys respecting girls and girls respecting themselves (and feeling empowered enough that they dont have to send picture texts of themselves or give a guy a head job to feel that they are liked). I had the emotionless sex education class at school and absolutely none at home (my mum’s definition of anything remotely related was to throw a packet of pads at me at 12 and say you might need these soon – yeh cheers mum). Lets teach our kids beyond the biological!
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Sex education does need an overhaul. We need to teach kids about how complicated sexuality is, and that it’s a continuum, not two polar extremes and one shade of grey in the middle. We need to acknowledge ALL sexual orientations. We need to stop making it so biological and make it more real for them, more relevant to their lives. We need to teach girls about pleasure and that it’s okay for them to masturbate too! A lot of schools only teach boys about the fun stuff, while girls get lectures about tampons vs. pads. We need to embrace how essential sexuality is to who we are, and teach kids it’s nothing to be ashamed of. We need to separate rape education from sex education, because those two things are totally separate, and focus on teaching boys not to rape rather than teaching girls not to get raped (although, sex education should cover consent properly – i.e. getting consent once does not mean you have it forever! etc). Kids need thorough, proper information about protection and the risks/benefits of sexual activity. We need to open up the discussion properly and go beyond testes and ovaries – it’s too much like human biology at the moment!
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What’s more, we need to explain the biological stuff PROPERLY. I only recently discovered how the hymen actually works – school and Dolly had it completely wrong! Laci Green does a great vlog about this stuff on YouTube.
Also, something like 75% of girls regret their first sexual experience? We need to work on that, too.
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I regret my first sexual experience but not because I was not informed…That said, I agree with Rose, we need to teach kids about sexuality, not just sex.
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I’m so sorry Kym
It’s such a shame to see so many girls admitting they regret such an important experience.
My (male) friend has asked me to proof-read a story he’s developing, and while I could go on and on about how disturbingly sexist the damn thing is, the part that troubled me most was when the main character (also a male) slept with a girl and she didn’t like it. The character (and I’m guessing the author) just accepts this, point blank, stating, “It’s typical for females.” Um… it shouldn’t be? I want to grab this guy and shake him and demand to know how he can possibly be okay with that. People shouldn’t just be okay with girls going through this (for whatever reason) – we should talk about consent and trust and preparation and mutual pleasure, and whatever else we need to talk about so that girls can have healthy, enjoyable first experiences. Sorry for the mini-rant! I need to stop reading that damn story, it’s going to do my head in…
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Completely agree. I knew nothing except some basic biology and even that was pretty slim. Christian school of course.
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Am with you on all of this. I think we’d be friends if we met
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Thanks Nina!
I was a bit stunned to see you reply to my comment – I just finished (re-reading) your chapter in Big Porn Inc and I loved it!
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Thanks Rose
x
Actually I totally agree with your point about biology and sex ed. Right now what the kids are getting is a heterosexual guide to ‘personal plumbing’. But it’s not enough to teach them where babies come from. What is not adequately addressed is issues around pleasure, intimacy, desire, communication and consent. female pleasure is still rarely acknowledged (in fact some of the diagrams they give them label everything except the clitoris which is erased from the picture. I consider this a form of symbolic cliterodectomy). It also kills me to see all these articles for teen girls on ‘how to please your man’ but very very few on ‘how to please yourself’. Why female masturbation is still so taboo baffles me. But as a little bit of trivia for you: there are states in America where it is legal to buy guns and bullets over the counter, but it is illegal to buy a vibrator. Better bullets, than orgasms apparently! (That’s Jessica Valentis line- I’m just stealing it here)
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Yeeesh, I had no idea! About the vibrators or the erasure of the clitoris! That said, thinking back, I don’t think I even knew the clitoris existed until I started reading Cosmo. I remember we learnt that boys had wet dreams and boys masturbated, but there wasn’t a word spoken about girls’ desires. We got weeks and weeks of lessons on tampons and babies, with a lovely side-serving of slut-shaming from the teachers and the boys in the class. I recently read one of Deborah Tolman’s book and was hugely depressed that it has been written when I was in high school, and yet I’ve only just found out about her work – I really could have used it as a teenager! And you’re spot on re: how male-centric sex advice is
I’m appalled by some of the advice girls get from magazines! Thanks for the trivia! 
x
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We had the most amazing lady come to our school when we were in year 12. Her chats were specifically aimed at older teens and it wasn’t about the birds and the bees but about what teenagers got up to. She talked about blow jobs, teen pregnancies, wet dreams, experimenting with the other sex and it was brilliant. I must admit it took a good 15mins for everyone to stop laughing and get used to it but it was the most informative sex ed talk I’ve ever had. I seriously hope she’s still doing the rounds of Brisbane high schools.
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That could well have been one of my dear friends. She used to work for Family Planning and taught sex ed and a variety of Brisbane schools. She is the most awesome person.
(Was she youngish and pretty? Fashionable? Brown hair? Wore cool boots?)
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Sounds like her!! The boots ring a bell but her hair was blondish back then (im talking 6 years ago)
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Hopefully there’s a whole fleet of these fabulous women, educating teens throughout Brisbane (and hopefully, the world).
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I had a pretty similar thing in the ACT in year 12. The presenters spoke candidly about oral sex, getting ‘wet’, STIs (with some very ugly pictures to show us the realities of what’s out there eg genital warts), going on the pill etc. and it was all very informative! There wouldn’t have been a single one of us who would then go out and have sex without a condom. We were all having sex anyway so what’s the point in hiding all the details rather than informing us of how to do it safely? After this they had a free STI screening at the school for a week so we could all get tested for chlamydia and whatnot. Great program! Much better than ‘abstain and all will be fine’.
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I would’ve loved someone like that to talk to in my later high school years, I just finished last year, the only sex talk we got was the basic birds & the bees talk in year 8 that most people knew already
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I started sex education at school in year 4 in the public school system through to the end of year 10 and it certainly did not encourage me to have sex. Did you people see the slides they make you look at? lol.
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Totally agreed! School sex ed didn’t tempt me at all, the slides and pamphlets were so awkward and foreign. Most of my classmates spent the time giggling or trying to rile up the teachers. I think we have to ask where kids ARE going for sex ed, because it’s definitely not school – if I had to take a guess, I’d say girls are getting it from magazines or fanfiction, and boys are largely getting it from porn. This does not make for good information… there are some AMAZING bits of misinformation out there!
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actually rose, as i young woman i can tell you that most of my sex education came through the porn industry, which i soon learnt was hardly an accurate depiction of sex…although it DID teach me that women very much enjoyed it too. something i wasn’t taught in sex-ed…
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Sorry, I know I was generalising a bit – I also know a few girls who learnt from porn too. It’s just that the stats on boys using porn are so overwhelming! I’m glad you’ve learnt sex is enjoyable… shame we’re not teaching more girls that
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I remember my son bringing home a flow chart from school with decisions we make about sex. It started with “Do I want to have sex?” moved on to “With a boy or a girl?” There were questions about where, whether or not to use contraception etc but NO questions about “Do I like/ respect this person?” I asked my son Did anyone mention love? He said”one girl did, but everyone laughed”
As an older person, I have witnessed the usual horrors such as girls being unprepared for their periods,kids believing coke and glad wrap are effective contraceptives and meeting a 20 year old girl who believed that homosexuals were a “third sex” and actually had a different body structure to males and females (I wish I was kidding, but I am not). So I agree with sex education wholeheartedly, but I think the curriculum needs to include respect, tolerance, consequences etc., not just the basics.
Dr Grossman is way off! Our sex education consisted of coming to school half an hour early to watch a film about periods, (girls only) during which the area around the hall was patrolled so no boys accidentally heard anything. We were 16!!!! and a lot of us were already sexually active.
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Your story about the third sex Is so true. I’ve come across girls who also believed that. Maybe it was some weird catholic class? In the 80′s, I studied (and failed) medicine at Sydney Uni and one year we were examining the corpse of a male. I remember TWO of the young Asian girls asking my lecturer where the bone was in the penis. These were 1st or 2nd year med students who obviously had absolutely no clue about men and sex, and clearly had never had a boyfriend (or been let out of the house by their parents). And then there was a friend of mine who was convinced that Lesbians were an urban myth because it was impossible for 2 girls to have sex. I don’t think he had every tried foreplay with his girlfriends.
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Knowlegde is empowering. The more knowledge about sex teenagers have, the more likely that they’ll exercise caution when it comes to sex. I learnt all about sex from magazines, documentaries etc. and I had to teach my sexually active friends the basics e.g. ‘yes, you CAN get pregnant the first time you have sex’ or ‘having sex underwater DOESN’T protect you from pregnancy’. And I’m still a virgin at 19 because I actually care about the intimacy that sex involves. So it’s not all about Insert Tab A into Slot B, yet this is all that is taught in schools. There needs to be an emphasis in sexual education on self-respect, because I have seen time and time again girls (and guys) having sex to appease other people, whether it be their boyfriends, friends or just peer pressure in general.
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Well said Bobbie.
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Safe sex education encourages safe sex. Tell the truth about risk factors and how to protect yourself and let kids make their own decisions. Empowerment is the best policy.
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Regardless of what Dr Grossman “believes”, ALL the evidence shows that the earlier and more honestly a child receives sex education, the later their first sexual experience will be, and the higher the likelihood that it will be safe and responsible.
Kids who are taught “abstinence only” sex ed in the USA are equally likely to have sex as their contemporaries, but they are less likely to use contraception.
Nations with the most explicit sex education have a FAR lower rate of teen pregnancy than nations like the US with their weird and creepy moralism about sex and teenagers.
Educating kids about what sex is, what their genitals are for and how to say no protects them from sexual predators who prey on ignorance and naivete.
This woman is just part of the bigger push that is taking place in our country to inflict scary American-style religious conservatism.
Dr Grossman, take your fact-less, Puritanical scaremongering back to where you came from.
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I’ve always been taught about sex. Ever since I can remember, my mother answered my questions about sex openly and honestly (in an age appropriate way). I think, the open discussion and conversation about sex, if anything, made me more cautious about engaging in a sexual relationship.
Years after my friends, and after having two serious relationships, I lost my virginity at age 20, to a boyfriend I’d been with for over six months and am still with now.
I thank my mum for being so open about sex education. I look at my friends with similar backgrounds, from the same area who were the same age and not many of them can honestly say that they don’t regret their first time. We are talking about girls “just wanting to lose their virginity” that picked up men in clubs, and from parties etc. because they were “sick of being a virgin.”
A little bit of education can teach young girls that there is nothing wrong with waiting until you meet somebody you love, as well as more about the health repercussions and other consequences of having sex.
We would be irresponsible if we didn’t impart our own knowledge to others to avoid them making the same mistakes as we have.
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No not for me personally. I actually had quite a lot of sex education while I was at school and had read all the sex ed books etc. I didn’t have sex until I was 17 which compared to half my class was quite late. It never made me want to do it more, I was just as shy about the whole thing. If anything it was a deterrent because I understood that it can come with serious consequences (pregnancy, STDs etc).
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When I was 17 and my boyfriend and I were talking about having sex all I could think of was how terrified I was of falling pregnant. As a result of sex ed we took the right precautions and all was well.
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Sex education is more than just talking about how Tab A fits into Slot B. It’s also about relationships, feelings, respect (for your body and for others). It’s about teaching teenagers that sex is only part of a relationship. That no, you’re not going to be Forever Alone if your partner dumps you for not having sex. It’s about confidence and healthy body image, and the sexual spectrum. It’s a bloody huge topic, and should be shared between sex ed at school and healthy conversations between parents and their children.
And that woman is a nutter.
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Oh gosh, I suppose sex education does make sex seem a bit casual…
BUT
Kids are going to have sex! Whether you educate them about it or not! It WILL happen! And it is SO important that they are smart about it!! Why are we even arguing this?! Health is so important!
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Do you know what makes teenagers promiscuous? Hormones. Remember being a horny teenager?
I am an adult and I know the link between oral sex and cancer, and having children younger and reducing the risk. Still didn’t influence my decision to have children ‘young and often’, mostly because it’s a factor and not a preventative (ask my MiL, who had four children before 30 and still got breast cancer twice).
Telling kids condoms are not that great is just going to mean they use them less, thinking they aren’t worth the effort.
The answer is giving kids information about relationships and protecting themselves emotionally.
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I was brought up in a home where I could ask questions openly and get frank and honest answers. I knew everything about sex that I needed to at each age and stage because there was no shame – I asked and got answers. I was told that sex is beautiful with someone you love and can be horrible, painful and humiliating with someone who doesn’t respect and love you. I was never told it is bad or dirty. I was never told not to do it.
I was certainly educated about the possible consequences, though. And when the time came to make decisions, I did it with an educated mind. I chose to make the first time memorable for the right reasons. I chose to abstain until I knew it was what I wanted for me, not to please someone else.
I think my knowledge was what kept me from promiscuity. It gave me self respect.
I only hope I can be the type of mum to my kids as mine was to me.
Education is everything. This woman is nuts.
http://theycallmemummy.com
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Totally agree Michelle, education is so important!
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