Prepare to have your mind boggled.
Ready? How pink is your labia? Because there is a product available that will make your labia pinker.
Apparently as you get older, your bits go greyer. Like your hair. I didn’t know that. So now you can dye your bits just like you dye your hair. Mind boggled yet?
My Pink Button comes in four different rosy shades so you can, you know, colour match.
According to the website: Marilyn is the lightest and “good for beginners.” What’s Bettie like? “Think of that favorite lipstick you wear for those dressy black tie affairs.” Audry is a “bold burgundy pink color” for “the woman that loves to be daring.” Ginger was “developed for ‘Women of Color.’”
And here’s what you get for US$29.95:
According to US website Jezebel:
….the product was invented by a woman “of a certain age” who discovered that she had “lost her luster” down there. You probably know what I’m going to say next, but here goes, anyway:
WHAT THE FUCK. Women make about 75¢ for every dollar that men earn. Shoes, handbags and fashion “must-haves” are aggressively marketed to us. We’re expected to be thin, wrinkle-free and not have any gray hair (which, of course, is “distinguished” on a man). Vogue declared armpits are “nasty.” Anal bleach exists. And now we need to shell out cash so that our labia can to be the “right” color?
So sometimes your ladybits change color when you age or after you have children. Who cares? Why be embarrassed? If your parts work, and there’s someone in your life who wants to get up close and personal and explore your secret garden, you should have no complaints. My New Pink Button is pitched as a product which “restores sexual confidence to Women everywhere!” But it seems like it could actually instill anxiety — if you didn’t know you were supposed to have a “youthful” look between your legs, doesn’t the discovery of this stuff foster insecurity?
Apparently the ingredients are FDA approved, although the website’s FAQ states, “Like any other cosmetic product, if you experience discomfort, discontinue use.” Guess what? I’m already experiencing discomfort, and I haven’t even touched the stuff.
If you ask me, if you’re wanting to change the colour of your labia, you have too much time on your hands. Or something.
Still haven’t learnt enough about your labia by reading this most informative post? You can go watch an episode of the online medical program The Doctors where they talk about Your Changing Labia and mention Pink Button (I found the link on the Pink Button website).
I suggest you turn the volume right up if you’re at work or heck, even if you’re at home because who DOESN’T WANT TO KNOW MORE ABOUT LABIAS?
What do you think?