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Alana and I have known each other since our babies were six weeks old. We were in the same mother’s group together. Me, there with my first born and she was there with her second.
Alana had a tragic story. Her first husband died suddenly, leaving her to raise their then 7-month-old daughter, Abby, alone. She had done just that for several years. That was until she met Greg, who fell in love with Alana and Abby equally.
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I confronted a friend about her child - who always had a bit of a mean streak especially if he didn't get his way. She admitted she didn't know how to handle his bullying behaviour and could see what was happening to my son. The next day she decided she wasn't going to take responsibility (maybe the thought of dealing with his behaviour was all too much) and said it was my son's fault for being too weak and if he can't handle it than they can't be friends and neither could we. I thought about it and although angry and upset at her response I realised the only weak link was her and the way she chose to handle the situation. Some parents try hard to have their kids fit in even if it means overlooking their bad behaviour and sometimes the realisation that their kids are not as perfect as they thought is hard for some to take.
I agree about counselling. I also think there is way too much judgement going on. Pre-teens will always do offensive things, I hate you, bla bla. A good friend would not judge a mum secretly. Kids bully for a variety of reasons and it is not because of the reasons listed in the article. A good friend would make an Aunt relationship with the girl and model good behaviour, cementing firm boundaries about respecting herself and others.