Pointless questions. Anyone? Anyone?

Apparently, women ask a lot of pointless questions. Do you think so? Why? Who judges their pointlessness? Isn’t that subjective? What’s wrong with asking questions, anyway? Also, do you think I should cut my hair or keep growing it?

I could continue like this pretty much until I broke the question mark key on my keyboard. And if there was a question mark key in my mouth, I would have busted that little sucker years ago. You see, I ask a lot of questions. Always have. All the time. Of everyone. About everything.

Some call this an enquiring mind. Many others call it bloody aggravating. It can certainly be exhausting, even to me. Often, my brain hurts from the effort of having such an insatiable hunger for answers both big and small.

Also, I’ve noticed it’s become increasingly difficult to find anyone prepared to go to the movies with me.

“Is that guy the dead one or is it really the other guy? But how did he die? Wait, who is he again?” I whispered urgently to my companion in the first 30 seconds of Avatar and it was pretty much downhill from there.

I strongly dispute any suggestion that my questions are pointless although I’ll accept they can be aggravating. Not as aggravating as being lost and confused throughout a three hour movie while wearing stupid 3D glasses but whatever.

This week, I read an interesting piece in The Times Online written by a 45 year old architect called John who claims his ex-wife tortured him for 10 years with thousands of questions, interrupting his train of thought at every opportunity and for no good reason. Questions like ‘What should we do this weekend?’ ‘What shall we have for dinner tomorrow?’ and ‘What do you want to watch on TV?’

He wrote: “The fact is that, nine times out of ten, I didn’t have an opinion about the topic, but if I’d admitted that, I would have been in big trouble. ‘What do you mean you don’t care about the weekend? Are we just going to let it go to waste?’ And we’d be off, trapped in one of those ridiculous circular arguments. I wouldn’t mind so much if women didn’t already know the answers to most of their questions. I know perfectly well that, left to their own devices, women will decide what they’re going to have to eat/watch/do at the weekend, all by themselves. “

Yeah but pretending to involve you is so much more fun.

It’s true that women like to know stuff.  Our philosophy is quite simply:  She Who Has The Most Information, Wins.

There are many reasons we ask questions though and they’re not always to do with winning, I mean, gaining information. Sometimes, women ask questions just to connect.

As John pointed out, “the hardest question was always “What are you thinking?” Nothing that I’d care to share. Therein lies the point. Women ask questions to encourage dialogue (but) not talking is my peace so it was often really hard to be tolerant.”

John’s right. The open-ended and often infuriating ‘what are you thinking’ question is really just a way to reach out when you’re feel disconnected.

Personally, I’ve never been a big asker of that particular question. Perhaps this is because when you’re married you have to take your mystery where you can get it. You want to think? Go for it! Take all the thinking time you need! No need to tell me what you’re thinking about! Really!

And this question thing? It starts early. Certainly in my house.

The other night, I was watching Bondi Rescue with my kids, a favourite family activity. While lifesavers treated a girl for possible spinal injuries after she dived under a wave and hit a sandbank, my daughter had a number of questions. ‘”Who is that man? What is he doing? What’s wrong with that lady? What’s her name again? Georgia? Or Georgie? How did she hurt her back? What are they putting around her neck? Where is Georgia going now? Are they taking her to hospital? What will happen when they get there? Will the doctor call her mother?”

While I found it tricky to answer these questions due to the fact they were coming so fast and drowning out the sound of the program, I thought all my daughter’s questions were highly pertinent. My son disagreed however, writhing with frustration on the couch next to us and hissing, “Can you PLEASE be QUIET!” before eventually storming out of the room to watch it elsewhere in peace.

I felt a bit bad he had to go but I was sympathetic to my daughter because that’s exactly how my mind works when I’m watching TV. Possibly this is why I’m routinely banished from the room when Top Gear or any kind of sport come on. I find it hard to accept television watching as a passive experience which may be why I barely watch it anymore and prefer to be online where it’s much more interactive.

Between Google and Wikipedia, I can answer any question, pointless or not. Boo-yah to that.

Do you ask pointless questions? Do you? What are they?