Look. It could have been worse. She could have been forced to release a statement saying “Yep, I’m fat. Now get stuffed.”

I’m a bit thrilled about what Lisa Marie Presley has written on her myspace page.
Last week, the goss mags and blogs trashed her for being fat. They did that awful papparazzi thing where they emphasised their point by getting shots of her eating something. And that other awful thing where they published photos of her next to photos of her dad – Elvis, you know – looking fat and bloated near the end of his life. “Like father, like daughter!” screamed the headlines. Nice.
In fact, Lisa Marie is pregnant with her third child. Not fat. Just pregnant. And if she were fat? Would that have been a crime? A tragedy? Something worth mocking her for? Really?

So how Very Excellent that she released a statement that’s highly pissed off.

Read it after the jump….

” After being the
target all week of slanderous and degrading stories, horribly
manipulated pictures and articles in the media, I have had to show my
cards and announce under the gun and under vicious personal attack that
I am in fact pregnant.
Once they got a glimpse of my
expanding physique a few days ago, they have been like a pack of
coyotes circling their prey whilst eerily howling with delight.
Starting with a London publication and then New York and Chicago all
writing false defamatory degrading stories about all of the dark
possible reasons I could be putting on weight. The US tabloids have
been calling all day wanting confirmation on all kinds of insane
theories. They couldn’t wait
to find out if my weight gain was because I was just overeating, in
which case It would be open season and they can do the old following in
her fathers sad and unfortunate demise story again or less interesting
for them and probably much to their dismay, I could just be pregnant
and therefore have a legitimate reason for weight gain at which point
they should probably wipe the saliva off of their fangs and put them
back in their mouths or they may expose the black little souls that
they are.

Now that things are confirmed,
hopefully they can stop all of the harassment and I can stop dodging
the continuous bullets. It is unfortunate that I couldn’t have
announced something that is this much of a blessing and that has made
us so incredibly happy under better circumstances. How they have
handled themselves with this has been nothing short of irresponsible
and disgusting. Pardon my seething contemptuous tone but ladies, You
KNOW if you were pregnant and you felt you were expanding
uncontrollably by the moment as a result and the worldwide media
started badgering and harassing you for it, plastering you everywhere
in an unflattering light, you would be mortified as well.“