Sylvia Driskell is 66. And she is a lawyer for Jesus.

Taking on God and Jesus as her clients, Ms Driskell has decided to sue ALL OF THE HOMOSEXUALS IN THE WORLD.

Seriously. This is happening:

[Note, homosexuals occasionally travel under the alias “Gay”.]

Ms Driskell (acting for God and Jesus) has asked the District Court of Omaha to rule on the question of whether homosexuality is a sin.

Driskell claims that NOT ONLY are homosexuals sinning by being gay, they are also KNOWINGLY committing the sin of gayness because “why else would they have been hiding in the closet(?)”.

Why else indeed?

Among her claims, Ms Driskell wants judges to stop calling God a liar, and gay people to stop being gay and doing gay things like parenting and marrying and wanting equality.

It’s not clear what God and Jesus’ vested interest is in this case. But Jesus has a broad range of interests. And a lot of people speaking for him. It’s fair to say he has fingers in a lot of pies:

Now, it’s obviously pretty shocking news to found out that you’ve been named in a law suit. Especially one that is backed by such deep-pocket litigants as God and Jesus. They’ve got the whole Kingdom of Heaven to mortgage to get this case up.

But the queer community seem reasonably relaxed.

The billions of gay people on the planet plan to adopt what is commonly known in legal circles as the Dumbledore Defence:

Here are some more famous defendants that Ms Driskell might want to name in her case:

Portia (De Rossii) Degeneres

Ellen Degeneres and Portia De Rossii are both avid vegans.

Ricky Martin

Musician, Elton John

Tim Cook

Ruby Rose

Giorgio Armani

Ellen Page

Neil Patrick Harris

Raven Symone

Queen Latifah

Jesse Tyler Ferguson

Cynthia Nixon

Jane Lynch

Jane Lynch

Michelle Rodriguez

Jonathan Bennett

Perez Hilton

Tracy Champman

How would you feel if Jesus decided to sue you?