What if the one thing that all women hate about getting older, was actually a tremendous advantage?

I know the exact moment that I realised I was invisible.

I was walking down a busy Sydney street with a young, attractive, female colleague. Car horns kept peeping. I turned to my friend and said, “I didn’t think men DID that any more!” And then I realised. They just didn’t do that to ME any more.

Men had not changed, they had not evolved from horn-peeping and cat-calling and harassing young women on train platforms, as I had gloriously, fleetingly imagined. They just didn’t see a grown woman as worthy of harassment. And I had certainly passed over into grown woman territory, without any fanfare, some time ago.

It was a learning moment.

Of course, I don’t miss being yelled at in the street by idiots. But there’s a definite jolt when you realise that period of your life is over. That the stretch from adolescence to well, now, when you feel men’s eyes on you wherever you go, leaving a film of unease on you as pass by, has gone.

That’s over. And you mourn it a little, because women are taught from when we are tiny that how we look matters a great deal and suddenly, no-one can see you, so what you look like matters far less.  To other people, at least.

Well done James Bond. This will be the best sex you ever had.

Much has been said about women ageing out of cultural relevance. About the reality of losing the focus of the Male Gaze, Some of it frivolous, like being overlooked for service at the bar (okay, that’s not so frivolous when you REALLY need a drink), some much more serious, like the fact that over 40s women are becoming increasingly likely to struggle when looking for work.

And if you compound age with mothering young children, as many Gen Xers are doing, then hitting your 40s can sometimes feel like a crippling crisis of relevance.

BUT WAIT. Put down the vodka. There’s good news.

THERE’S GREAT NEWS.

And the Good News came to me, as it does, when I was cleaning the kitchen and listening to a podcast – look at me, listening to podcasts, so hip, so relevant!  – and the outrageously talented, very visible writer and broadcaster Hanna Rosin said this, as part of a discussion about the concept of Bright Young Things.

Did you hear that?

We should start to think of invisibility as a SUPERPOWER.

Hanna Rosin – “Invisibility is a super power.”

YES.

Thank you, Ms Rosin. Ask the Invisible Man. Ask Harry Potter and his crew of crafty co-horts, Ask Jessica Alba (one of the world’s least invisible people, it’s true) in The Fantastic Four.  Yes, her.

Because there is something immensely freeing about ageing out of anxiety about your appearance.

There’s a target on the face of every woman in her forties.

Instead of bemoaning something as insignificant as no longer being ogled, we need to remember what makes the over-40 woman – let’s call her The Invisible Woman – powerful. A superhero, no less.

I hate to say it, but maybe I could learn a little something from Jessica Alba.

When you open your mouth and say interesting things, people listen. Because the Invisible Woman talking is really, really freaky. You’re “old”, maybe you’re “a mother” and you still have things to say? And because you no longer talk all the time – you have aged out of the anxious need to constantly fill a silence – you’re speaking when it matters.

You know that often, listening is more important than talking. With maturity often comes the end of the conversation style where all that’s really happening  is you’re waiting for the other person to stop talking so you can start. You learn to value interesting conversation as one of the best possible uses of your limited time. So, you listen.

You know that all things pass. You’ve seen a great deal come and go.While everyone around you is losing themselves in the drama of today’s crisis, you can see that one day this will be a story, another thing that you lived through, another notch on your belt. There is not too much that can happen that will shock you.

There’s freedom in the fact that no-one is looking at you. I am not suggesting for a moment that there every woman over 40 is not worth looking at. I could list a thousand beautiful, sexy women over 40 from whom it’s hard to tear your eyes. BUT, you are no longer paralysed by insecurities of WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE if you do something unusual, wear something that’s not in fashion, turn up somewhere alone, dance too much, sing too loudly, say the wrong thing. You have learned that really, almost everyone is so caught up in themselves, they barely notice what others are doing. Not really.

You are no longer desperate for everyone to like you. Because the people who matter can see you very clearly,  you don’t need the whole world to.

Catherine Zeta-Jones

Naomi Watts

Salma Hayek

Jennifer Aniston

Jennifer Aniston has been in 'the biz' for decades and remains hugely prominent.

Halle Berry

Jennifer Connelly

Demi Moore

Sandra Bullock

Brooke Shields.

Sofia Vergara

Thandie Newtown

Gwyneth Paltrow

Sharon Stone

Sharon Stone is an actress, film producer and former fashion model.

Ellen Pompeo

Ellen Pompeo is a TV producer and actress, and has many award nominations for her role in Grey's Anatomy.

Monica Belluci

Monica Belluci is a renowned Italian model turned actress.

Rachel Weisz

Nicole Kidman

Michelle Pfeiffer