real life

From woman to man. Jay’s journey continues.

What if you were born as a woman but always felt like a man? What if the way you felt didn’t match the way you looked? This is the reality of being transgendered. In March this year we started to read about Jay’s journey from woman to man.  Now after a year on testosterone Jay is back to update us with his progress.   He writes…

Jay – pre testosterone

“I have now been on testosterone hormone replacement (T) for a year.

The first change I noticed was the hair on my legs started to lengthen, darken and become coarser. Before testosterone any body hair I had was very fair and very sparse! It started on my lower legs and gradually has crept up my thighs in much the same fashion, the next thing was some hair on my stomach – kind of like a happy trail which was interesting.  It took a long time for it to be visible to anyone but me. Now it seems to have taken over my entire belly and is slowly making its way up towards my chest. I have a hard time remembering what it looked like without hair now.

The hair on my arms is only just now at ten months starting to really darken and lengthen.  Facial hair has been coming along from about the four or five month mark. Not so visible to others but I can see it – really I can! Around my mouth and on my chin is definitely noticeable now. I shave maybe once a week – it helps minimize the amount of oil on my face too. Facial hair was one of the changes I was really looking forward to!

5 months on testosterone

At about the three-month mark I distinctly remember my first voice drop. I had a cold and my throat was sore and my voice was very raspy for about two weeks – and after I was feeling better my voice just never went back to the pitch it was before the cold. For about a month it constantly felt like I was trying to clear my throat and that I had to talk around something. It also felt more ‘booming’ or resonating if that makes any sense at all!  This is one of the changes I really had mixed feeling about before starting testosterone.

I noticed a change in muscle definition about the same time my voice first cracked. I have biceps and forearms I only imagined before! Even though at the moment I don’t work out as often as I would like, the change is obvious. I am broader across the shoulders and generally I am stronger than I used to be.

I have also noticed some subtle fat redistribution to more of a male pattern. I can feel the difference when putting on pants I used to wear. Guys carry their weight in their abdomen and less on areas like the hips and thighs. It’s a change that is not really obvious to others but from measurements I took before T and now there has been a slight shift.

7 months on testosterone

My parents and siblings, extended family and close friends are all still so amazing and supportive. There are still the occasional slip-ups on pronouns but everyone has Jay down pat – its very funny for me to hear my birth name now! And it’s usually my parents who slip with that one!

I am all for educating people. I have had friends and work colleagues ask me many questions about the process – none of them hurtful – just genuine interest and curiosity, without making me feel like the science experiment! I think although the physical changes are amazing, it’s the emotional ones that have occurred that are just as paramount.

I am more confident as I am happier with the way the world relates to me, the way I relate to the world and the way I am treated. There are new expectations that have been put on me, I am now expected to lift the heavy end of things if helping a friend move furniture. Or I am expected to know about things like cars and motors.

Male etiquette is very interesting to learn too. Like smiling at other men is apparently a bit of a no no. You nod. Maybe. I’ve noticed it can make women nervous sometimes if I smile at them, like they’re wondering what I am thinking or am a threat. Same for mothers if I smile at their children – I used to do that and get their whole life story, not anymore. Now it’s more of a ‘what are you up to’ look.

10 months on testosterone

And it is nice to finally feel happy and content in the skin I’m in. I am getting happier with my appearance and once I have the surgeries I hopefully will have next year, that confidence and self esteem will soar even higher. It is nice to feel in control of my emotions too. I think the last time I cried was in April this year – and there were many crappy things going on at that time – but it took a lot to have my eyes well up and then I think it was over after a few moments. Nothing like it used to be if I felt emotional – like someone had turned on a tap!

Any questions please don’t hesitate to ask – what’s the worst I can say? No?!

The life of Jay

The journey of a voice

Back in March when we first shared in Jay’s story, he was generous enough to come and answer all our questions and respond to all our comments and he’s promised to do it again. I’m going to kick off by saying I’m so happy for you Jay, go you good thing….

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