lifestyle

Possibly the meanest letter a parent could find in their letterbox.

It has to be seen to be believed.

Those first few months after you have a baby. Do you remember it? Or are you lucky enough to be there now? That magical time when you just melt into the love of your newborn, those hours of gazing at her, bewitched. That time when you just want to show the world how wonderful and precious she is.

And let’s be honest here, the way we, these days, show the world – is through our social media tools. We share special moments with our family, our friends, our colleagues. We share them out of love, love for our baby and a natural desire to share that love.

So it is with shock if these people turn on you – and shame you.

But that is exactly what has happened to Jade Ruthven– a 33-year old Perth mother who faced what is undoubtedly one of the worst cases of bullying and cowardice we’ve ever seen.

This past weekend Jade, mother to six-month-old Addy was shocked to find a nasty letter thrust into her letterbox.

Unsigned. Anonymous. And downright awful.

anonymous letter to a mother
Jade with baby Addy. Photo: Rg Wild Photography www.rgwildphotography.com.au
ADVERTISEMENT

“At first I was in shock,” Jade told Mamamia’s parenting site ivillage “I thought this must be a joke? I read it and reread it about four times. I was shaking with anger to think a so call friend(s) of mine could be so heartless and gutless to not even sign who it was from.”

Imagine finding this note in your letterbox: “We’re tired of your baby crying”.

Jade shared the note with us out of her passion to combat bullying. She wanted to share the note to stand up for other mums who are simply going about loving their babies, not harming anyone, not offending anyone and certainly not deserving of this.

“As a first-time mum they have no idea what struggles I have gone or are going through adjusting to being a new mother. This letter could have potentially sent me over the edge. For this I’m glad I received this and not someone in a position like that.”

ADVERTISEMENT

You can read it below:

It wasn’t just Jade who was shocked by the nasty note.

One of her friends in her online mothers’ group, Kylie, told iVillage, “I’m proud that my friend is using this as an opportunity to teach the world that mummy-bullying is unacceptable. She’s turning negativity into positivity and I think that shows so much strength. I’d likely still be crying in the shower if it had been me!”

5 little but important reminders for every new mother.

But Jade, after the initial shock, has shown the best way to deal with bullies – stand up to them. When she shared the vitriolic, spiteful note with her online friends she was flooded with support.

“The response after I posted the letter has blown my mind. My aim was to try shame these people into coming forward as I was so angry and hurt. I have been part of two FB mothers groups. The ladies in these groups are amazing and a great support network. They were all totally disgusted in the letter and went on a mission to share it around to show their support.”

anonymous letter to a mother
Addy. Photo: Rg Wild Photography www.rgwildphotography.com.au
ADVERTISEMENT

For Jade now, she says she has laughed it off instead deciding to concentrate on more important things like how delicious her baby, Addy really is.

Jade says, “Being a mother is a tough job and not just the looking after baby part. I don’t know if we are easy targets but there are so many people out there with so many different opinions on how we should be doing it all. Most of which are quite controversial.  The best bit of advice I got was to what is best for you and smile and nod when everyone gives you their two- cents worth!”

“Also there can be a lot of judgement and bullying between mothers (I have never experienced this until now!) I’d like to get across if this is happening to you please don’t stay silent and stand up to these bullies. Or confide in someone who can help you.”

ADVERTISEMENT
anonymous letter to a mother
Photo: Rg Wild Photography www.rgwildphotography.com.au

She says the whole experience has made her stronger, “To be honest this has totally backfired on the people who planned to knock me down as I have never felt so strong and loved!”

Go Jade, we have got your back.

What do you think of this type of Mummy-shaming?