My husband left for a few days in Sydney for work today and my second thought (after gee I’ll miss you) was ‘awesome, I can ped-egg my feet without judgement!’ I know, my life is sad, but the reality is, since being in a relationship and becoming a mum, me time has become almost extinct, and I’m talking about daggy-self improvement, me time.

There are certain things I don’t like to do in front of anyone else, even my husband, and pumicing my feet is one of them. Slathering on fake tan is another. Plucking my eyebrows, and painting my toenails also make the list. It’s not that I’m ashamed of my behaviours, it’s just that they are often met by “ewww yuck (anything to do with my feet)”…”gee that smells (fake tan, nail polish, nail polish removal)”…then it’s always followed by “can’t you do that when I’m not around!”

Yes, yes I can. It’s just that those times are pretty rare nowadays, and let’s just say my body needs its fair share of upkeep!

My other SSB’s (secret single behaviours) include watching trashy reality tv shows like Keeping up with the Kardashians and Teen Mom (hey they make me feel like a better person).  Trawling fashion sites and adding things to my cart, but never actually hitting purchase (it’s like window shopping without the blisters!) And flicking through tabloids while listening to Billie Piper. You can see why I do these things in private.

Men don’t have the need to keep their SSB’s to themselves. They feel comfortable burping, farting, squeezing pimples and anything else you can probably think of, in front of you. And that’s totally fine, it has to be, because even if you’re not cool with it, they’ll do it anyway and probably more frequently just to annoy you.

What are your secret single behaviours? Tell me so that I feel less like a dag or maybe I can get some new ideas for the next time my husband is out of the house

In the meantime, I’ll be shaving the dead skin from my feet…too much??

Erin works in radio part time, and can be heard reading the weekend bulletins, nationally for the Austereo network. You can find her blog here.

What’s your secret single behaviour?

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