lifestyle

PROOF: Koalas are completely up themselves.

It’s official: Koalas are the most narcissistic marsupial of all.

They climb trees. They eat leaves. They waddle about, being fawned over by tourists and held by world leaders in photo ops. There are tiny, clip-on dolls made in China in their honor. Children’s bookshelves are filled with that loveable rogue, Blinky. And next year there’s a movie coming out.

And IT’S ALL GONE TO THEIR FAT HEADS.

Because Qantas put Koalas in first class and they threw massive shade:

 

Where the F**K is the champagne.

Sure, they were on a paleo diet before everyone else. Sure, they were wearing grey before it walked down the catwalk for this year’s autumn/winter collections.  But this much attitude on an Australian airline?  It’s a whole new level of arrogance.

For the 50th anniversary of Singapore’s independence, Australia is loaning the city four adorable, leaf chewing Koalas. Paddle, Pellita, Chan and Idalia are flying over to Singapore Zoo, where tourists can marvel at their killer claws that could tear you to shreds sleepy eyes and snuggly-wuggly fur.

KOALA WORSHIP: Oprah and Gayle hug frisky koalas on Hamilton Island

Accordingly, our national airline rolled out the red carpet for a photo shoot.

But the guests of honor gave zero shits:

A HOT TOWEL? PLZ.

The star treatment included refreshments, hot towels, and special bio-security cleared, gluten free, sugar free and paleo approved eucalyptus leaves for dine on. Despite being lavished with first-class gifts, they sat there stone-faced.

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Ungrateful.

 

How much can a Koala bear?

 

Did they read the safety briefing notes in the seat pocket in front of them? Did they put on their first-class Qantas pyjamas? No, they did not.

Is it our fault, Australia? A study released earlier this year  showed when parents tell their child they are special or gifted, it can lead to narcissistic tendencies.

The airline itself said it: these Koalas are “gifted”.

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These four Koalas will spend six months at Singapore Zoo, as “cultural ambassadors” for Australia, having their egos stroked by tourists.  Plans after Singapore haven’t been confirmed, but there are rumors of a trip to China to “settle the score” with Giant Pandas.

 

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