Oh I remember that awkward stage of being single in a world of couples. And I also know the feeling of being a “smug married” around my single girlfriends. Today’s Group Therapy is from Paula* who writes
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I need your help… I broke up with my boyfriend of 5 years at the start of the year… it was quite a smooth break up, no one was wounded we just had grown apart. However my friends were quite pleased as I rarely spent time with my before as my weekends were spent with the boyfriend because our careers kept us apart during the week. So after everyone voiced their opinion on how they hated my ex and said they were happy to have me back, I got on with my newly single life and I have been very happy.
A few months later my best friend and her boyfriend suddenly split and it was messy. So, we did what very girlfriend would do when your 2 best friends are all single for the first time in a long time… we all got dressed up every weekend and went out dancing and, as all girls do to help their friend move on, we all said how much we hated her boyfriend etc. you know the drill. Then, a few months later she started going back to him and after one very messy drunken night and a very big argument between the two of them (in which I heard the whole thing including him saying he hates her friends (i.e. me) and if they were to stay together and get married she’d have to get rid of us). They are back together and are working on their issues and moving forward.
Here is my issue, a mutual friend andher husband are having a dinner on Friday night and she has invited Lily and her boyfriend f that hates us all and another two girls and their boyfriends. So as you can see I will be the only single one… and although it has been months since I split with my ex and I am happy with my single life, I do feel so alone and like the odd one out.
So my questions to you are, should I go to the dinner even though it is a couple-fest and if so how do I go and not feel like the elephant in the room all night?
Also how do you behave around a friends boyfriend when everyone has said they hate him and you’ve heard him say he hates you too ?
I know its a lot to ask but any help would be great.
Top Comments
If being single is going to stop you from going to couple events, then you should just say good-bye to your friends now. If situations were reversed you would hope the fact that you were in a relationship wouldn't get in the way of your friendships.
And about the jerk boyfriend - take the high road. You may know what he said about you but that doesn't mean you need to stoop to his level. You also don't have to engage him in conversation, be polite where possible and maybe stick to talking to your other friends.
It's funny this article is about the awkward situations at parties, my friends girlfriends are terrible at trying to set me up with someone who because we are both single think we will be great together. No idea!
Since breaking up with my girlfriend a year ago I have not been invited to dinner parties, breakfasts or anything else like that as it was always with my couple friends. Is this common?