real life

This one (sensible) question could help you know you've found 'the one'.

 

It’s a question that many of us have asked, and few have the answer to. Now, this one question may help you work out if you’ve found “the one”.

Love is… confusing.

One day, you may have complete confidence that you’ve met the person you will spend your life with. But a bad day may have you questioning just how into this relationship you really are.

Luckily, there is a very handy question to ask yourself that could make the whole “love” thing more straight-forward. If only a little.

This miracle question you should be asking yourself?

“If I had to become someone else, would I love to be this person or run a mile?”

According to Sexpert Tracey Cox’s article on The Daily Mail, this question could help determine whether you really value your partner’s characteristics and traits, and as a result whether you have a strong foundation for your relationship.

By comparison, if you don’t want to be your partner you may be demonstrating contempt for them and their life choices. According to John Gottman, PH.D’s “Four horsemen of the Apocalypse“, contempt is one of the key determinants of relationship failure.

Other signs that relationships may be heading to disaster are:

  • Criticism
  • Defensiveness
  • Stonewalling

By comparison, if (given the opportunity) you would choose to be your partner, there are certain things that may help you to have a long and successful relationship according to Better Health.

These things are:

  • Talking to each other (including about any issues that may come up)
  • Bringing up issues gently (and staying calm when you do)
  • Listening
  • Focusing on the positives of the other
  • Spending time together
  • Making short-term and long-term goals together
  • Being supportive of one another
  • Learning from arguments
  • Accepting some responsibility in disagreements
  • Be affectionate/attentive
  • Being flexible
  • Sharing power

We asked a few people what love means to them, here are some of their answers:

If you like this, you’ll like:

My relationship survived infidelity.

Real life Tinder love stories.

Three tests to predict if you’ll actually get divorced.

How to save your marriage? Separate toilets, apparently.