Sorry, Bill O'Chee. Gold Coast Meter Maids are not feminist enemy #1.

According to former politician, Bill O’Chee, feminists hate bikinis, free parking and life.

Yesterday, former Queensland Senator, Bill O’Chee wrote a post bemoaning the fact that “feminists” object to Gold Coast Meter Maids. He’s here to defend Meter Maids from feminists who would deride them as representing an objectification of women.

He says, that “feminist commentators can’t have it both ways,” pointing out an apparent hypocrisy whereby feminists are cool with Elle McPherson wearing a bikini or undies, but not being ok with women in bikinis who “are not yet rich and famous” because “they epitomise the objectification of women.” He says the feminist mantra is “Girls can do anything, as long as we approve of it.”

In order to appreciate O’Chee’s comments, you need to have a little background on Gold Coast Meter Maids. The concept has been around on the Gold Coast for the past 50 years. Women in gold bikinis and hats wander around and pay for the parking of people visiting the Gold Coast. They used to put coins in meters; now they pay for parking in 11 minute increments and pop the receipt on the windscreen. They apparently save about 60 people from parking tickets every day.

Bill O’Chee wants us to stop condemning Meter Maids. Feminists need to “a sense of perspective and see the Meter Maids for what they are – a well executed marketing strategy that has brought billions of tourist dollars to the glamour strip over the last 50 years.”

That’s cool, Bill. The truth is, we don’t really give a shit. Feminists are not sitting around bagging out Meter Maids. Or bikini bar staff. Or women who work in promotions. We’re not in the game of bagging women at all.

O’Chee points to one example of a feminist calling out Meter Maids from 2010. Except, the feminist he refers to, Melinda Tankard Reist, didn’t call out the Meter Maids. She condemned Microsoft for hiring Meter Maids as entertainment at a tech conference, which was in part about women working in technology. The conference participants were uncomfortable and complained. The presence of the Meter Maids was irrelevant and weird. It was a dud decision on Microsoft’s part for which they apologised.

Even if that was a criticism of the Meter Maids themselves (which is wasn’t), a single objection five years ago is hardly a contemporary or widespread complaint on behalf of the feminist movement that requires a public figure to make an impassioned defence.

Those nasty feminists. They’re such hypocrites with their hatred of bikini-wearing and good times and free parking…. Give us a break!

Sure, it’s a legacy job from a different time. It’s a gimmick and it’s probably a concept that is getting a bit old. They’re actually having trouble recruiting Meter Maids on the Gold Coast. But for the women who do it, it is a job. It’s work they like. One Meter Maid said that she prefers it to other jobs she has had: “With bikini waitressing, you’re basically just serving drinks in an environment with old men frothing – and you can’t leave. With this, if someone is bothering me, I can walk away.” It is work. Work that women are entitled to do, free from condemnation, shame or judgement. Can I say again: NO ONE IS CONDEMNING METER MAIDS. They are not feminist enemy #1. We don’t care.

And if no one is condemning Meter Maids, surely that means that no one needs to spend time defending them from a hideous feminist threat actually that doesn’t exist?

Frankly, we have bigger fish to fry. Violence against women. The pay gap between men and women that amounts to $1 million tax on women over a lifetime. Preventing women from slipping into poverty later in life. The fact that women are being held back in almost every endeavour just because of their gender – and the fact that this disadvantage is worse for Indigenous women and other women of colour, gay, queer and trans women, refugee women, women who do sex work, older women, women who have been in prison and women from a low socio-economic background.

These are feminist issues. There are more. If you want to call out our stance on them, Mr O’Chee, go for it. Let’s have a serious debate about these issues. Let’s raise their profile and thrash them out in the public domain. If we’re being hypocritical in our arguments about these issues, please point it out. If we aren’t relying on relevant data, feel free to slam our arguments.

But, Bill O’Chee, the nasty feminists aren’t going to try and take away Meter Maids. You can continue to enjoy their existence, unmolested by harpies and kill-joys who want them to cover up their shameful dirtypillows.

Frankly, we just don’t give a damn.