real life

Don't judge me: "I stage managed my own marriage proposal".

I stage managed my own marriage proposal.

I can feel you sneering while reading this… It’s not the woman’s job, the more conservative among you might say snidely. How unromantic, quip others. What a proposal-pusher, say those who think an engagement is about waiting patiently…

But I don’t like surprises and I don’t understand why it’s important for an engagement to be a surprise. I could feel society sneering, so even though I organised most of it, I still pretended to be surprised when it happened. And that is what makes me sneer at myself.

This is my “surprised” face when Darren proposed.

 

Knowing about the proposal before it took place was not unromantic to me; it made me feel happy and secure.  It’s also not like my (now) fiance is missing the romance gene. In fact, my fiance Darren Robinson, apart from being my favourite human on the planet, is a deep thinker and incredibly romantic.

After our first date he kept the rose he gave me, soaked the label off the bottle of champagne we drank and had a calligrapher write out the text messages he sent me – then had it all framed and gave it to me on my birthday.  I know, right?  Amazing.

Stop with the ridiculous marriage proposals. Stop trying to get famous. Just stop.

He also knows I’m a Virgo, Type A, over-achieving control freak. A surprise proposal would send me into a panic attack not make me swoon. For me, shock and awe and the unexpected are about as romantic as sex in wet swimmers at the beach – sounds good but ultimately just plain uncomfortable.

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It wasn’t like I was pressuring him and forcing him to do something he didn’t want to do.

We are both adults and we had discussed what was important to us and what wasn’t.

Are you living in proposal purgatory?

Here’s how my very well executed plan of action was conceived and ultimately came to be (complete with sunset beach backdrop and me wearing the perfect dress… because I bought it… in advance. Obviously).

Darren really wanted to propose with a ring.  So we discussed a few parameters, then my mum and I went and designed the ring with a jeweller. When the ring arrived, he kept it in a safe spot. (I secretly tried it on most days when he was a work – who wouldn’t?)

The rock!

 

I said I’d like to involve my family and friends because the proposal would be like an instant engagement party. We were going to Hawaii with 20 loved ones for my 40th birthday, code named Hawaii 4-Oh. Hello… perfect romantic proposal opportunity.

A marriage proposal rounds out one of the loveliest stories of the week.

On the big day we were both nervous. It was kind of nice knowing that the nerves weren’t all one sided but instead shared.

Darren asked his father to be his wingman and they were together when he asked my Dad for my hand in marriage.  They went for a swim and all man hugged it out in the waves. Aussie, Aussie, Aussie (but in Hawaii).

Darren also asked my Mum, which surprised me.  Nice touch.

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That’s Darren on the left asking my Dad, who’s touching his heart and Darren’s dad on the right. Soooo cute!

We were going to do it at the luau that I’d booked us all into on the night of my birthday. But my Mum suggested it might be nicer if we did it before we were surrounded by lots of total strangers. So I didn’t stage manage this thing alone, I had a whole back up organisational crew as well.

Two of my best girlfriends (who also work in PR and organise events for a living) snapped into work-mode and found a large balcony, booked champagne and canapes for the 20 of us. This was no amateur proposal, it was a professionally staged super event.

Instant proposal event organisers, my besties Jeanine Bribosia and Alice Hampton.

 

I got a blow dry and had my nails done (come on, you know it makes sense) before getting ready. Everyone I loved was there.  It was like they were in on a secret but no-one actually let on that they knew.

After a few champagnes my fiancé asked for everyone’s attention, gave a beautiful speech (amazing considering how shy he is) then got down on one knee. I did a fake surprised face (I’m a weirdo), then everyone cheered and we had lots of family photos. Then we went off and had an awesome night at the luau.

It was perfect.

One thing Darren did do to surprise me was he got up early the next morning, while I was still sleeping, and took a panoramic shot of the view from our hotel room.  That photo is now mounted above our bed as a reminder of the dawn of the rest of our lives together.

Now to me? That’s romance.

ROMANCE!