I stage managed my own marriage proposal.
I can feel you sneering while reading this… It’s not the woman’s job, the more conservative among you might say snidely. How unromantic, quip others. What a proposal-pusher, say those who think an engagement is about waiting patiently…
But I don’t like surprises and I don’t understand why it’s important for an engagement to be a surprise. I could feel society sneering, so even though I organised most of it, I still pretended to be surprised when it happened. And that is what makes me sneer at myself.
Knowing about the proposal before it took place was not unromantic to me; it made me feel happy and secure. It’s also not like my (now) fiance is missing the romance gene. In fact, my fiance Darren Robinson, apart from being my favourite human on the planet, is a deep thinker and incredibly romantic.
After our first date he kept the rose he gave me, soaked the label off the bottle of champagne we drank and had a calligrapher write out the text messages he sent me – then had it all framed and gave it to me on my birthday. I know, right? Amazing.
Stop with the ridiculous marriage proposals. Stop trying to get famous. Just stop.
He also knows I’m a Virgo, Type A, over-achieving control freak. A surprise proposal would send me into a panic attack not make me swoon. For me, shock and awe and the unexpected are about as romantic as sex in wet swimmers at the beach – sounds good but ultimately just plain uncomfortable.
Top Comments
Congrats Shelly and Darren. Gorgeous photos! I wanna go to Hawaii!!
Hey, whatever floats your boat and works for both of you! Personally, that amount of organisation and control would be my version of hell. I did not even enjoy planning my wedding. I don't know what type that makes me. I can understand why some people just go barefoot on a tropical beach in the sunset with just some flowers in the hair and something floatey to wear.
My now ex-husband proposed while we were out having dinner one evening. He looked at me intensely for a few seconds and blurted: " I want you to marry me". (My dinner conversation is THAT good, ha, ha). I was more disappointed than excited - not because there was no big romantic gesture or ring prepared, but because he didn't "ask" me if I wanted to, he just made a statement of what he wanted me to do....and that, in a nutshell, should have alerted me to what marriage to this man was going to be like...hindsight is 20/20.