“I can’t be all the things,” I said into the phone yesterday.
I want to be a friend. I want to be a good friend. I want to be a best friend to every little human I encounter.
I want to be a sister. A daughter. A girlfriend. A wife.
I want to be the person who gets called at two in the morning. I want to be the one who shows up at the door with coffee and a heart that is just ready and amped for whatever truth you want to let sit square in the middle of the kitchen table. I want to take people as they are. I want to hold people as they come.
Jealous of your friend’s good news? You’re not alone.
I want to be the mysterious one— the girl in the corner of the coffee shop with the bright red hat. I want to be the rebel. I want to be the one who doesn’t care about the rips in her tights. I want to be a writer. I want to be a poem.
I want to be the one you can’t stop thinking about. I want to be the one you never let go of, the girl who managed to maneuver herself away like a magic trick. A great Houdini act that left the whole world asking, “Where’d she go? Did anyone get her name?“
I want to be the one who feeds the homeless. I want to dress the orphans. I want to be the reliable one. The simple one. The one who needs no excess in her life— she gets it and she knows what is really important. I want to be the secret keeper. The girl who you always know is going to cook the meanest, baddest appetizer for that dinner party. I want to be the one who dances at weddings. I want to be the life of the party.
I want to be the one who remembers to look up. I want to be the organized one— the one who has ridiculous control over the content of my inbox. I want to be the one with systems and rules. I want to be the adventurer. The wild one. The cool girl. I want to be the one who never lets a single soul down.
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TL;DR
I want to be everything possible to everyone possible.
But I can't be. I'm good with that.
This could have been a good article, if it was more succinct. I understand the premise, but ended up scrolling through as it was a bit wordy.
And every line was a new paragraph.
It was profound.