real life

The retro wedding trend making a comeback (but with a delightful twist).

 

 

 

 

 

I know this may sound twee and awfully Elle Woods (of Legally Blonde fame) but humour me for a moment, if you were to imagine your ideal wedding proposal – how would it go?

Would your partner go down on bended knee? Would he/she choose the ring for you? Would it be a diamond ring? Would he/she ask for your father’s permission?

If you stopped at that last one and your inner feminist is enraged at the very idea of asking a bloke asking your father for permission in 2014, then you might be surprised to learn this retro trend is making a comeback. And in a very big way.

According to a new survey, seven out of 10 women want the traditional fairytale proposal, including their groom-to-be asking their father for permission first.

Up until now, grooms-to-be were pretty regularly forgoing the awkward father-in-law conversation, in favour of proposing spontaneously. If the father was offended, it was a too bad, too sad situation. Or one that was laughed off over an awkward beer in the garage/shed/pub.

But now, much to the confusion of proposers everywhere, it seems that brides-to-be are throwing back to traditional ways.

According to the Mail Online, of the 2,000 women polled, “a surprising number still believe their future husband should ask their father for permission to wed.”

And its younger women who want to adhere to the traditional formalities. More than a third (36 per cent) of 18 to 24s want their father to give their permission.

Which is odd considering not only does Dad rarely get a say in who his daughter marries, but most of us are moving in with our partners before marriage.

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We have furniture, mortgages, dogs, and KIDS with our partners before we get married.

We aren’t living under the same roof as Dad, much less do we consider ourselves ‘his’ to give away.

Dad is quite possibly less involved in our lives and who we are, than friends or housemates or siblings.

So why is this age-old tradition coming back?

That’s where the twist comes in. And the twist? Is grooms not so much asking Dad for his permission but asking both parents of their prospective spouse, for their blessing. For a groom, it’s a way of acknowledging that these two people have had a huge influence on your future wife’s life and shows a level of respect to the family you’re about to join. Because for better or worse, you not only get a spouse when you marry, you get their whole family.

Asking both parents for their blessing mirrors the trend of brides feeling uncomfortable about their fathers alone walking them down the aisle. More and more brides are asking both parents to do the isle-walking thing. It’s about holding onto the nice ‘family is important to me’ bit of a father’s involvement in a wedding, while concurrently booting the anti-feminist ‘your dad owns you’ element.

The simple request for a blessing is a lovely gesture of parental acknowledgment.

When we raised this topic in the office, out of the 40-something women here – even the most ardent feminists among us – thought that asking both mums and dads for their blessing ahead of a wedding was a lovely thing to do.

Suddenly, this retro trend actually seems rather sweet.

Want would you want your potential life partner to do? Or if you’re engaged or married, what did your partner do?