real life

"This is why I have to talk about my late wife."

I know so many think it.

Heck, some even admit it to me.

Why do you talk about Michelle so much?

Aren’t you worried your blog and all that you write is going to make it harder to meet someone?

No, I’m not. Thanks for asking though.

For all of those who talk about their late loved one.

For all those who talk about their loss.

This is why we talk about them.

Robin Bailey on talking to kids about grief on The Well. 

 **Hint:  It is NOT for attention**

We talk about them because we love them.  In life. And in death.

We talk about them because they are still a part of us.  And always will be.

We talk about them because the love we shared and the loss we endured have shaped us into the person we are today.

We talk about them because we find it therapeutic. For our minds. For our hearts. For our souls.

We talk about them because it helps us. And we hope it will help others.

We talk about them because the memories make us happy.  And we need to feel that.

late wife
It is now our responsibility to carry on their legacies. Image via iStock.
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We talk about them because the memories make us sad.  And we need to feel that.

We talk about them because we want the world to know the struggle.

Of cancer.  Of suicide.  Of drug addiction. Of heart disease. Of sudden death.  Of terminal illness.

The struggle of loss.

We talk about them because we want you to appreciate what you have.  Because in hindsight, we realize we may not have.

We talk about them because they are still ours. And we are still theirs.

We talk about them because in the day to day grind that is life, we sometimes feel them drifting away.  And we know that talking about them will make us feel closer to them today.

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We talk about them because we want to.

We talk about them because we need to.

And yes, sometimes, we talk about them because nobody else is.

It is now our responsibility to carry on their legacies.

We talk about them because we take that responsibility very seriously.

The Grief Episode on The Well. 

When Michelle was sick and dying, she would often tell me of her fears that everyone would forget her.  That she would become a distant memory.  That nobody would speak of her anymore.  That it would be like she never existed.

Nope.  Not going to happen.  Not on my watch.  Not now.  Not ever.

We talk about them because we refuse to let them be forgotten.

This post originally appeared on The Good Men Project and was republished here with full permission. 

For more from The Good Men Project:

To the Good Single Dads From a Single Mom. 

Change Your Past:  A Mourner, an Addict and a Crooked Tax Collector Show You How. 

Four Steps for Connecting With Your Kids.