We’ve all hear the phrase “It takes a village” and all the time I hear people preaching it. Yet, for some reason just as often people seem to make comments and judge other parents for their said ‘village’.
I was recently asked ‘why do you have kids if you put them in daycare anyway?’
I know right?
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People need to understand that everyone if different, every family is different, every mother is different, every child is different! And their village and how that village runs is gonna be different!
Some mothers stay at home with their kids
Some mothers go to work
Some mothers work from home
Some fathers stay home with their kids
Some fathers work far away from their families
Some mothers and fathers both work
Some kids go to daycare
Some kids have a nanny
Some kids have a babysitter
Some kids have family look after them
Some kids have sleep overs with their grandparents every week
Some kids have never had a sleep over
Some families have other family members live with them
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It can ruffle feathers when working mums try and use stay at home mums as free daycare. If they're happy to take your child on a pupil free day, to soccer training or to the Friday after school birthday party, please turn up on time to collect them as promised and bring a small thank you gift.
We're all busy and our time is important to all of us in our own way. Stay at home mums may not get paid for theirs but working mums do and its nice to be appreciated when they offer to help you by looking after your child and driving them to places so they dont miss out, so you can stay at work and earn money.
The more of these articles about shaming I read, the more I feel women need to stand up and be assertive when people make rude or judgemental comments rather than feel shamed about it.
The fact is that you, and ONLY you know what is best for your family. If you are hoping for a world where no-one judges your parenting and everyone is kind and understanding...you will be waiting a long time. If you are confident and happy in your choices no-one can shame you! I will most certainly use childcare when I return to Australia, if people don't like it who cares - they have no impact on my life.
My secret is when someone is rude I think What would my husband do? He wouldn't just take it and feel ashamed! He would fire back at them...(and probably point out all their faults then swear at them but let's not take it too far!)
Yeah, I agree with that, own your choices. If you're happy with the choices you've made then no one can make you feel ashamed of how you're living your life. If you're making the best decisions for you and your family, then if someone says something negative then your feeling would be one of anger, more of a 'F*ck you, you're not living my life,' rather than feeling any sense of shame. It's when you have doubts about the choices you're making, that's when you doubt yourself and feel a sense of shame.
I guess it's the terrible parenting paradox - in that part of being a good parent is a little bit of self doubt!
I find it helps to just assume everyone else commenting on your life is an idiot! ;)
I like your perspective!
Zepgirl: 'Oh God, am I doing the right thing? What if I'm doing the wrong thing by my baby?'
Zepgirl's brain: Shut up, that woman is an idiot, I heard she thinks Taylor Swift and Tom Hiddleston are a good match.