Most proposal stories involve things like rose petals, champagne, a fancy dinner, a romantic location and a man on bended knee.
Sometimes there’s a bit of variety. Sometimes, proposals involve picnics and giant love hearts drawn on beaches and flash mobs and Youtube videos. (Perhaps not all at once, although there’s an idea for you fellas).
They do not involve toilets and poos.
Why? Because toilets and poos, along with giant snakes and wedgies, are up there the list of Least Romantic Things On This Planet.
Now brace yourselves… Because we want to share with you the romantic tale of Sara and James.
Sara Barron wrote a post for The Frisky about how her boyfriend, James proposed to her on Christmas morning.
Now, Sara and James have a lovely relationship. The sharing-is-caring kind of relationship. The I-will-tell-you-if-I-need-to-poo-and-you-will-care kind of relationship. In fact, Sara reveals in her article that she and James talk bodily functions as regularly as they utter the phrase ‘I love you’.
Anyway, back to Christmas morning when James wakes up feeling like he really needs to go to the bathroom. He goes back and forth to the loo while Sara drifts in and out of sleep. And then James returns to their bed, all excited about… well… his poo.
Sara explains how it went from there:
“Sara,” he said. “Wake up. I have taken the biggest dump of my life!”
“Congratulations,” I said. “That’s wonderful news.”
“Will you come and look at it?” he asked. “It’s pretty much the most amazing thing I’ve ever done.”
“Do I have to?” I asked.
“Yes!” he said. “It’s Christmas! I thought we could stand beside it, and take a photo, and send it to Jon. It’d be like a Christmas card. C’mon! You know he’ll love it.”
I sighed. He seemed so exuberant, this boyfriend of mine. And it was Christmas, like he said.
“Okay,” I said. “Let’s go.”
He takes her into the bathroom, he opens the lid of the toilet… and the ring is there. INSIDE THE TOILET.
It turns out that James has wrapped glad-wrap over the toilet and placed the ring on top. There is no actual poo involved, just the *illusion* of it. Thank goodness for that. You can all keep eating your lunches now.
Sara says yes, because: “I figured we were probably a match, seeing as how he’d thought it appropriate to pretend an engagement ring was a bowel movement, and I’d thought him all the more wonderful for doing so.”
The whole proposal is certainly original. We know this because we googled “toilet proposal stories” and while people have been proposed to while sitting on the toilet before, no results involved rings actually INSIDE toilets.
SO: Worst proposal, or best proposal ever?
For the purpose of research, we asked around the office to work out everyone’s best-ever-proposal-idea (just to see if any of them might involve toilets or poos).
Employee 1: “I just want something cute, preferably involving a picnic.”
Employee 2: “I guess a romantic dinner, just the two of us, and then a romantic hand-in-hand walk just chatting about our future (most likely along a coastal walk) and then a very private and intimate proposal.”
Employee 3: “Nothing in public with people I don’t know, I’d be embarrassed. And hopefully at a time where I’ve put some effort into what I’m wearing/hair/make-up.”