My six-year-old daughter lost a tooth last week. After five days of wiggling, gum manipulation and endless calls of “hey daddy look how loose it is now,” it eventually came out. She put it in a glass of water that night and miraculously the next morning, the tooth was gone and the Tooth Fairy had placed a shiny new $5 note under the glass. My daughter was over the moon, but the whole incident got me thinking about home security.
Now I don’t want to be a wet blanket, but shouldn’t we as parents be at least a little concerned about some complete stranger having access to our kid’s rooms at night? I know that we all picture the Tooth Fairy as a petite, pretty, little fairy, floating delicately on gossamer wings and sprinkling pixie dust as she flutters. However, as none of us have actually seen this Tooth Fairy, how do we know that’s how she looks at all? In fact how do we know the Tooth Fairy is indeed a “she”? What if “she”, rather than looking like Tinkerbell, is actually a “he” and a raging alcoholic, with bourbon-induced halitosis and looks like Boris Yeltsin?
I felt I should be raising a few questions about how this Tooth Fairy finances his clandestine transactions. Where does he get all the cash to buy those millions of teeth from kids all around the world? It’s quite the investment. What does he then do with them? Are we parents, by allowing our kids to put the tooth under the pillow or in the glass, somehow supporting some sort of black market ivory trade?? Are all the teeth being fashioned to produce ornate chess pieces or hair-clips for the European ultra-rich?
Top Comments
$5? Bloody hell!
The Easter Bunny visited my workplace leaving each of us with a chocolate treat with our name on it hidden somewhere in the office. However we also received a sternly written note from the Easter bunny that should we find and take another colleagues' treat, not only would he know, but he would be informing " the Tooth Fairy, Santa Clause and all other magical gift giving creatures".
As far as I can tell they must have a union or at least some kind of internet bulletin board to manage that.
P.S. it was quite hilarious to see how bad people have become at finding Easter eggs given they clearly haven't been part of a hunt for 10+ years.