Comments on: Teen depression: what you need to know

By: Smarty Pants

Smarty Pants — Wed, 10 Apr 2013 13:43:25 +0000

Ella,

You are so brave. Thank you. I wish my old friend (died weeks after her 21st birthday) could have come through and reached the point where you are now. Your insights have now helped me understand and accept a little more what things must have been like for her, 6.5 years after the fact, in a way that no-one else has been able to.

Willaway, and Flowers in the Spring, thank you for your very good advice. Adolescence can be such an isolating experience even for the most healthy, socially connected teen. I completely agree that we need to be doing a lot more as a community to skill our children for resilience and positive neural pathways from as early on as we can.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Sat, 11 Aug 2012 10:46:02 +0000

Yeah I agree it’s easier to share stuff here than on F.B.

By: teaganjai

teaganjai — Sat, 11 Aug 2012 10:11:56 +0000

im not depressed, okay, im sorry for the comment i was in the middle in the dream and my brother woke me up, u know how that feels, right? well, its hard to explain, im not depressed,i, i have a crush, okay, i like this guy and i have liked him for a while, and everyone says theres something wrong, see when i have a crush i go silent bc i dont stop thinkin bout him. plus i would rather share my feelings online then in the open, like facebook.

By: Essie

Essie — Sat, 11 Aug 2012 09:43:57 +0000

Hi Tegan,
From some of your comments it sounds like it would be a good idea for you to talk to someone in your life, not just people online. All of the ladies on here have been teenage girls and know what they are talking about. It is very important that if you have a friend who is considering suicide that you tell an adult. You could be key in saving your friends life. It is also important that you don’t tell people, your friends or peers that medication and counseling are bad. You need to be a Dr or a psychologist to make those decisions. Do you have a teacher, an older friend or maybe a friend’s mum you could have a chat with? I am a teacher of girls your age and can assure you we are always ready to listen. It seems like you are on he because you are looking for guidance and that’s fine, but do see if there is someone who knows you who you can talk about this stuff with.
All the best!

By: teaganjai

teaganjai — Sat, 11 Aug 2012 08:25:08 +0000

okay this makes me angry, yes im a teenager and all my friends say i need to go to a guidence councler but that is not going to happen, im telling you, if a teenager girl dosnt speak to u about wats wronge, then just drop the subject, if she tells the wronge person she gets alot more apset, dont ever tell her to write all her probs in a book, last time someone told me to do that i was crying when i was writing, and all the cr@p about medication NOOOOO that is not the right thing to do, my freind has depression as big as mine, she is on medication, she wants to commit suicide, me, im not on meds, my probs r in my head, havnt told a soul my probs and im doin fine

By: cjs

cjs — Sat, 11 Aug 2012 07:58:52 +0000

I had clinical depression from 13–17 and I thought I had beat it, but these last few weeks I feel the same pain and sadness poking its head out again and I’m scared.

By: Ella

Ella — Sat, 11 Aug 2012 07:11:37 +0000

I developed an eating disorder at age 12. I can trace clinical depression back to age 14, episodes of what could be depression even as a child. I’m on my 4th or 5th medication & finally found one that has worked that I credit with saving my life.

18 months ago I reached such a point of despair that I tried to end my life. I no longer feel like that. I live in fear that one day I will again reach such an intense depth of despair.

It breaks my heart that I hear so many other young people struggle with this horrible illness & either feel they can’t reach out or don’t have the words. Sometimes people chose not to hear.

The most important things you can do to help your teenager through depression;
- Listen without judging
- Seek professional help
- Don’t be afraid to ask questions and use very direct language (not euphamisms like “do you feel like offing yourself” but “are you going to kill yourself, are you going to cut/overdose, etc”.)
- If a young person says they are suicidal, don’t leave them – remove everything they could harm themselves with & seek urgent help. Don’t be ashamed or afraid of taking them to the emergency department or calling CAHMS/Crisis teams. Take every threat seriously.
- Tell them you love them. Depression makes us feel so unlovable, so unworthy that that constant reinforcement is so, so, so important.

Thank you for sharing David.

By: Ella

Ella — Sat, 11 Aug 2012 06:59:56 +0000

I did a similar thing 18 months ago. I did stop breathing & ended up in intensive care unit. When I came to, I ran away from the hospital & did it again – ending up back in ICU. I got through that time. Things go up & down, but I don’t want to die anymore. It took a good 12 months to truly believe that.

My parents didn’t see it coming. A few friends saw a bad time coming; they didn’t expect they’d come so close to losing their friend twice. My psychiatrist didn’t see it coming, my GP didn’t see it coming, my psychologist didn’t see it coming. I saw it coming but was too unwell to be able to ask for help.

You need to forgive yourself. What happened was not your fault. It is almost impossible to see. There might be signs; but when you’re in the thick of it, you don’t have the foresight to see what could happen.

Your daughter is ok. It’s ok to forgive you too. x

By: boodie

boodie — Sat, 11 Aug 2012 06:26:57 +0000

My youngest daughter was diagnosed with dysthymia, only after she took a whole heap of pills and ended up in hospital. I, as a parent have never felt more useless or terrified than I did at that moment when she came in and said “mum, I think I’ve done something stupid”. The watching her while waiting for the ambulance to arrive, was one of the scariest things ever. What if she collapsed or stopped breathing before it got here.

Afterwards she was scared that I would hate her, and my heart was breaking, this was my baby girl, and she felt so bad that suicide seemed to be a viable option. AND I DIDNT SEE IT!!

I have never forgiven myself for not seeing it in her, ever, and even now that she is better, it is one of my great failings as a mum, my baby girl was hurting so badly and I missed it.

By: HQ

HQ — Sat, 11 Aug 2012 06:14:13 +0000

There can never be one answer to the question of why in increasing depression across the spectrum. Perhaps it has a root in the lack of meaning, purpose and ability to rely on self that has something to do with it. We are occupied in what we have to do, imposed by society rather than life, and meeting our most basic physical needs when they arise. Once, life was a matter of getting on with living, i.e. literally living/life. Perhaps, one day, in time, we will adjust to not having to survive and become able to find/adapt to a new way of life that has never existed before. Unless, of course, we end up back in literal surviving, due to war, climate change, food reduction, incurable illnesses, etc. There is far less depression in regions where the ‘art’ of living is far more basic as it has been throughout the ages in which we evolved. Not, necessarily or specifically, literal hanging on by a slim thread to survive as either an individual or a group, but where life requires a literal daily focus regardless of age group.
That, and the fact the we evolved to move, all day, then sleep, all night.