Ever wondered why celebrities like Gwyneth Paltrow and Cameron Diaz always bang on about the all burgers and fried food they eat, yet never ever seem to put on any weight? Could it be because they’re….being less than truthful?
The Daily Mail has dubbed these celebrities as ‘Liarexic’. Yes, we know that some people object to the trivialisation of anorexia by other forms of disordered eating adopting their suffix.
But we didn’t make up this name, we’re just telling you about it.
Apparently Liarexia is the notion that people, namely women, will eat large amounts of food (or a particular type of food eg: burgers and fries) in public yet strictly limit their portions in private. A new eating disorder if you will.
It’s all about appearing to have a ‘normal’ relationship with food, or wanting to be skinny without seeming like you are really trying.
Hmmmm, could this possibly be why every interview with a female celebrity usually involves the journalist remarking how surprised she is to see her subject order (and devour) so much food? Even moreso if the celebrity has been battling ‘too thin’ media coverage?
A psychotherapist quoted in the article says, “it’s connected to feeling shame around food and it’s often sparked by fear of being challenged by other people.”
Make that other WOMEN. Not many men stare daggers at you or immediately feel guilty if you choose to eat a salad when they decide to go all out with pizza with garlic bread on the side.
Why is that? The psychologist believes that women are more critical of their friends’ food choices than men are, “if you’re overweight and trying to lose weight people will reassure you, but if you’re slim, other women often feel judged if you refuse food — as if you’re highlighting their own lack of control.”
We’ve previously been told by dieticians and nutritionists that a healthy diet is about maintaining an equilibrium, you can occasionally eat food like burgers, cakes and fries and not put on weight if you adjust the calorie intake of the other foods you are consuming and maintain an exercise routine. I guess the problem resides when you take it too far on one side of the scales.
I’ve always considered the way I eat to be relatively healthy, I like to splurge when I’m out, but balance it out with healthy meals the rest of the time (I don’t mean teensy tiny portions). I’ve watched Masterchef and have seen how much butter, sugar and seasoning those chefs put their dishes, so I figure I’ll just enjoy the food and experience of being out, without worrying excessively about calories. I didn’t really think this was abnormal at all, I assumed it’s the way most people function. I’ll of course have the occasional attack of the munchies, where I’ll consume a family-size packet of salt and vinegar chips, but I try not to get too hung up about it.
Do you lie about the amount of food you eat? Do you eat one way in public and another in private?
If you or someone you know has an eating disorder and you need help please contact The Butterfly Foundation. The Butterfly Foundation provides support for Australians who suffer from eating disorders and negative body image issues. They also provide support for their carers. They can be contacted through their website at http://www.thebutterflyfoundation.org.au/ or on (02) 9412 4499







Comments
173 Comments so far
Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong .wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong your wrong, your wrong, your wrooooong.Vegetables = Good!Fruits = Ok. You can’t have too many. They are high in fsuctore (a sugar) which will spike your insulin and slow down fat loss.White rice = Dumb. Empty calories. You want to cut back your carbs when you want to lose weight. If your going to have any rice, it would be brown rice.Banana’s are about 200 calories. Not great for fat loss.Why no chicken, turkey. These are a must
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Why is everyone focusing on the linguistics in the article… This eating disorder can be just as serious as any other, people die from all kinds of eating disorders and disordered eating is as devastating to peoples lives… Lets take the focus off what it is called and look at what it is and the harm that is cause… No Matter What the Disorder of Eating is…………….
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funnily, I have an Eating Disorder. lets not worry about what it is, but I am probably stricter in public than I am in private. I rarely order anything other than salad or fruit salad, and I agonise over that because i feel like people stare at me thinking * who is she kidding? she is fat and eating a salad?? i know what she really eats at home*. to be fair what i eat at home is much different, but that often comes with a different set of guidelines if i am not sticking to clean eating for recovery purposes.
I found it hard to read this article. like so many others, it trivialises what so many people fight through on a day to day basis. some of us, for over half a lifetime.
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“Yes, we know that some people object to the trivialisation of anorexia by other forms of disordered eating adopting their suffix.” I would hope that all people would object, not just some. Anorexia kills people.
The flagrant misuse of ‘rexia’ that has seen words come about like brideorexia, sexorexia, drunkorexia etc and now this does nothing more than trivialise anorexia nervosa, an illness that devastatingly already far too many people believe is trivial anyway. It not only doesn’t do anything to help people batting this illness, it makes it worse for them when they see it bastardised and perpetuated in such ways. Lying about what you eat is not a clinical mental illness. Anorexia nervosa is.
While I appreciate the term was not coined in this article it would have been really great if your words and sentiments about its misuse had gone further to state not just that you didn’t make it up, but that it’s wrong, and much better that we just talk about these things within the realms of disordered eating – a very valid and important topic to talk about – as can be seen with the many comments from people struggling with this issue.
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I couldn’t agree with you more, Julie. What a ridiculous article this is. I don’t expect to read this sort of thing on Mama Mia.
It’s clear that the author of this article has never a friend die from Anorexia Nervosa. If she had she would think twice about she has written here. Saying “but we didn’t make up this name, we’re just telling you about it” sounds aggressive and dismissive and suggests this woman knows exactly how offensive she is being and really doesn’t care.
Have you ever heard someone make up ridiculous names related to breast cancer or motor neuron disease or MS? I don’t think so.
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Dear Nicky, I have to admit that this post annoyed me on so many levels I have responded to it in a post of my own. Please feel free to come by and have a read. Just the perspective from someone with an eating disorder who completely reserves their right to be ticked-off by the perpetuation of the trivialisation of anorexia.
http://recoverypjstyle.blogspot.com/2011/07/ticked-off-orexia.html
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It’s amazing how odd some attitudes to food are! Its never occurred to me to eat differently in public/private. Think I’m lucky. although now I’m 38 weeks pregnant & massive
I have noticed people observing what I eat which I guess is more about the public nature of pregnancy, a whole other topic.
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I’m pretty upfront about things – my sort-of-mother-in-law is constantly making snarky comments about how ‘easy’ it must be for me, so I constantly point out to her how much exercise I do to stay slim.
However, I will eat much more when I am with other people, just to avoid the comments.
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I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve been lucky that my weight has definitely not kept up with my appetite. I’ve been skinny/slim my whole life and am permanently on a seefood diet. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve watched my portion sizes a bit, drank less alcohol and eaten less takeaway, but that’s it.
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i hate you……but only because i’m jealous!
:O)
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I don’t know how many times I’ve read the word “guilt” in these comments – it is really scary.
I really don’t care too much for what celebrities do or don’t eat – it’s their business, I really don’t see why these famous women (yes just women) must be put on trial by the guilt-and-hunger driven women public. I don’t think they can win, whatever they do.
I wonder if anyone here has been to http://www.fatnutritionist.com ? She talks about learning to eat ‘normally’, and taking away all the moral associations people (mostly women but some fellas too) put on food and eating. I think she’s really refreshing.
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I don’t really think it’s about putting those celebrities on trial, as after all, maybe they are telling the truth in what they eat.
But the thing is it’s really made me hold up a magnifying glass to real life and notice just how much guilt and judgement that is associated with women (of any size) and their eating habits, and how others comment freely and uninvited on those habits.
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I don’t understand the guilt thing either, Happy. So much guilt here! Why does everyone feel such a need to keep others happy or prove something??
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I don’t lie about what I eat – and as a matter of fact I have happily eaten burgers and chips on a daily basis without putting on weight – as the chefs at my last workplace will testify, though running up and down three flights of stairs of a busy hotel for long shifts, as well as trying to balance uni and not owning a car (so walking/cycling everywhere) probably helps. I’ve also been a strict vegetarian (sometimes eating eggs) for many years and usually try and avoid sugar because I’m extremely sensitive to it and it wreaks havoc on my energy levels and tend not to eat many highly processed foods.
I now try to eat a healthy diet overall but its nothing to do with weight gain – I’m not at all worried about putting on weight (though I am size 6) as some of the most gorgeous and desirable women I have met have been size 12-14. I wish women were not so obsessed with weight – I’ve had some deliberately malicious comments made about my body lately and it is just uncalled for. Women are beautiful in all their diverse ways.
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I have a pretty good diet/relationship with food but I am influenced by what others around me are eating and it’s the same with alcohol. For example:
-I eat smaller meals/less dessert and chocolate when my husband goes away for a few weeks.
-If a friend wants to order a share-plate of something I tend to oblige even if I don’t really want to (I’m working on my no-saying skills). Actually I often get trapped into eating when I don’t really want to because I don’t want to offend/embarrass the other person. It’s a bit silly really.
-If a friend (usually more so with someone I don’t know well) eats a small portion I tend to follow suit.
And as Lana said below, most of my meet ups with friends involve eating and/or drinking together which is interesting to consider. I wonder what percentage of my meals are then influenced by circumstance. In fact, at least one meal a day is in the company of someone else…
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I read that you should eat like a king for breakfast, like a prince for lunch and like a pauper for dinner! I do that and exercise a few times a week and on Saturday nights we eat whatever we like.
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Weird examples to use. Gwyneth Paltrow has been very open about her diet and workout regime. She doesn’t “bang on about all the burgers and fried foods” she eats. She advocates a pretty balanced diet. Cameron Diaz, by all accounts, can eat whatever she wants and stay skinny. But she’s also extremely active, which helps. Miranda Kerr, again, has been very open about her diet and exercise regime. She lives a very healthy life, and it shows.
I remember Amanda Seyfried got a lot of flack for ordering a small, healthy salad during an interview. What’s a celebrity to do?
Perhaps if people weren’t so interested and didn’t have so many opinions about what others choose to put in their mouths, no one would feel the need to lie.
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I agree completely with what you say. I do think we should talk as a society in a generalized way about concerns such as obesity and eating disorders and healthy eating – yet we can certainly do that though without pointing the finger at individuals and giving them a hard time. It is just to easy for it to decay into cattiness and people projecting their own insecurities onto other people – and is hardly ever helpful for the individual involved.
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I remember that Amanda Seyfried was one of the only celebs I’ve ever heard actually say that she is hungry all the time to stay the shape she is. I thought it was great to hear someone be honest rather than the usual liarexic crap we hear from them.
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There’s an ad on at the moment (think it’s still on, anyway), for a brand of diet yoghurt (aren’t they all). It has an office full of women depriving themselves – knocking back bickies, eating a lettuce leaf, celery stick (I LOVE lettuce and celery, but not 1 as a meal). Then the smart chick eats some of this yoghurt with extra protein and it keeps her satisfied because of the protein. The ad doesn’t actually state it, but it just says to me “deprivation is the right thing to do, so if you’re going to deprive yourself, do it by eating our yoghurt”.
I hate it. There was a story on Larry and Kylie’s show a couple of weeks ago about a very similar ad being pulled in the States because it showed anorexic behaviour – a lady from the butterfly foundation and Nina Funnell were on commenting about it.
I eat what I like and always have. I do actually like pretty healthy food, I love salads and vegies but I never beat myself up if I feel like KFC occasionally. Couldn’t give a shit who sees me or what they think. I’m overweight according to the BMI, but I’m fit and healthy. And breastfeeding for the moment! It must be a hard time post baby for those who do feel pressure to get thin following a bub.
One of my friends has lost a LOT of weight, and people ask me if she is eating enough as they think she’s too skinny now. She’s not, and she eats like a horse, as in more than I was and not all salady stuff when I was preggo, but they’re still convinced she is starving herself and exercising excessively. She did have to be strict for the first few months, but now she eats anything and runs, which she loves!
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Actually to be fair to Gwyneth, she does the opposite. She talks about how hard she works out and how much effort she puts in. Heidi Klum and Miranda Kerr on the other hand do a great disservice to women.
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I’ve found Miranda to be very open and honest about her eating and exercise, have you ever read her blog?
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I was thinking the same thing about Gwyneth. She apparently eats nothing but raw mung beans and miso soup.
I thought this article was going to challenge that notion and say that actually she eats burgers and fries.
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I’m not convinced that Miranda is totally transparent when it comes to this. One interview she comments that just being healthy and breastfeeding will get you back to your post baby body and in another magazine there are all the photos of her coming and going from the gym.
It does women wonders to hear the truth so we are not beating up on ourselves when what the celebrity states doesn’t work for us.
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I think it’s also called bulimia, eating loads of junk in private then throwing up and eating next to nothing in public.
I have been overweight most of my adult life but i Am honest and realistic about it. It’s my fault, I love food too much and my output (exercise) doesn’t exceed my input lol. However, I am trying to get healthy since diabetes caught up with me and finding there is no point in lying. My dietician would eat me alive cos my blood sugar levels don’t lie, even to me. It’s the only time in my life I have lost weight and kept it off. Do I obsess about food still? God yes, but have finally learnt all things in moderation, with the occasional blowout LOL
Reminds me of a quote by the marvelous Dawn French about her being the model during the Renaissance and Kate Moss being the paintbrush lol
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I am fully convinced this is a real and true thing. A couple of weeks ago I blogged about this very topic: http://sweatlikeapig.wordpress.com/2011/06/26/celebrities-are-liars/
Celebrities seem to be wrapped in their own web of lies about what they eat and what they don’t, and it’s alarming as to how many of them tell the media they just eat whatever they want.
As someone who is very fit, I can tell you now that it takes a lot of hard work and very little junk food! I am so tired of people feeling the need to constantly comment on what I eat and criticise me for being on a “diet”. I eat lean protein, vegetables and rice. As far as I’m concerned, that’s normal eating!! Forgive me if my food doesn’t come packaged in a box with tonnes of preservatives and sugar!
I appreciate celebrities who acknowledge that they do eat healthily and exercise regularly, and can’t understand why so many of them lie. Personally, I think the whole industry is just designed to force ordinary people to turn to fad diets and diet pills when they can’t understand why they’re not losing weight by following ‘celebrity diets’.
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I make food comments all the time – asking people if they want some cake/coffee/chocolates/chips whenever I leave the office, telling people their lunch looks good, asking what they had at a certain restaurant – I am quite food preoccupied. I wonder if any women ever get offended at my babble?
Because the ‘problem’ is, I am also very slim. If I am not hungry sometimes, I worry people think I have some kind of disorder (I have actually had someone point blank ask me). I am skinny, my whole family is skinny (and short) – but I feel that some women judge me. In fact once, when a friend I had known for a while was very drunk, she said to me “I can’t wait until you get old and fat”.
Quite mean I think.
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For me, it really comes down to the enjoyment factor! I just love food (eating more so than cooking, but I love to cook as well).
I love eating healthy, I love home-cooked meals, and I simply love enjoying a meal with others – small or large (I often say my love language is cheeses).
I only ever get concerned with people, when they don’t seem to enjoy food either, or food becomes something all together. It’s not really about the “diet” you put yourself on, but you can tell sometimes when people are eating because they’re depressed, or starving themselves etc – because the food they choose to eat is often accompanied with little remarks – “only a boring salad for me for the next few weeks because “. (do you know how many yummy salads there are out there that make my mouth water!!!).
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I recall a recent review with jonna lumley ( on graham norton) and she said she never has breakfast and often not lunch. When she does eat she gets very sleepy so she can’t eat if she has to work- so she often only has dinner and then goes to bed.
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I’ve always suspected this especially about Cameron Diaz. Every photo I’ve seen of her she’s muching on a burger or something else really unhealthy and yet has the body of an elite athlete.
I have a neighbour who I have suspected having this sort of thing for a while too. She is super slim and when we’re on the phone she always just cooking something really ‘fattening’ to eat or just ate a plate of pancakes etc…..yet when we catch up for morning she doesnt actually have anything except a glass of water or black coffee……
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Re. other people commenting on food intake – it’s not just “friends”, but complete strangers for me. I’m underweight by BMI standards (due to being quite active + having medical problems)…and if I don’t eat a full portion and/or some item absurdly high in fat + sugar + salt, I get random strangers who comment that I should eat more, that “that can’t be healthy”, that I must be anorexic, etc., etc., etc.. On occasion they say it to my face, feigning genuine concern, but mostly it’s in whispers at the next table. A couple of times, it’s been quiet talk amongst the kitchen staff.
Nobody has the right to judge what *anybody* else is or isn’t eating – but it seems socially acceptable to comment on what “a skinny” eats, whereas it’s generally considered (as it should be) mean & un-PC to pass judgement on what someone who’s overweight eats.
I honestly don’t see why people feel the need to judge what other people eat or don’t eat.
I’ll say it upfront to anyone who asks:
I don’t often eat burgers from the chain stores – I find them too greasy & contain fillings of questionable quality. Same goes for pizza from the chains. Sometimes I’ll make them at home & enjoy them thoroughly.
I love chips from one or two places – the rest I’ll usually decline. Oven chips don’t do it for me.
I’m a sucker for beautiful fresh salads, roast veges, mezze platters, fruit salads, good decaf coffee, assorted delicious teas & infusions, & so on.
I will happily order what I enjoy and I won’t apologise to anyone for it. I don’t see why I should. Life’s too damn short.
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everyone thinks that what they do is ‘normal’
its only when you read an article such as this that you realise that it might not be
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I also want to add when women become famous they lose a sh-toad of weight and end up looking the same to me? Jennifer Hawkins looked normal and everytime I see a photo she is looking more streamlined with that ‘Supermodel’ look. Megan gale has recently done the big weightloss thing too. Most actresses when they hit the bigtime lose so much weight. Naomi watts. The list is long…
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Ugh, aaah. food. what a clusteryfuckery topic. My personal hatred is when people comment on my eating habits without me asking for opinions,e.g. ‘you didn’t eat everything? what’s wrong? are you sick? did you not like it?’ etc etc or the worst, ‘you got an eating disorder or something?’ wtf. RUDE.
i know it’s a personal thing, but people talking about how much I do or don’t eat just sets my teeth on edge.
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As someone who often holds little dinner parties for friends (I just LOVE cooking) I often ask friends why they haven’t eaten something or if they don’t like something because I like to know if I have over/under cooked/seasoned etc… Unless it’s the cook asking ‘why’ then its very rude for those questions to be asked!
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I hate those bitches who lie about what they eat! I used to be very bonyskinny growing up all through teens and went from an 8 to a 12. I am going to start exercising more often as I know i’ve been lazy and let the weight creep on and it’s true once you hit your dirty thirties it’s so hard to shift the weight! I also sit on my arse at work one of the reasons why I hate office jobs and long hours. But one thing I hate is when I run into peoplefrom school or uni and they comment I’ve put on weight. I remember being 19 and going from a size 8 to 9 jeans and feeling like “well it’s a downhill slide now…” I’m embarassed to admit it but there you go. Weight is a big issue in my family and my father has never been backward in coming forward about weight gain. Weight gain is bad. Weight loss good. My sister is mentally I’ll an I’ve watched her on a rollercoaster of weight mostly due to her illness and trying to find the right medication. She recently lost a lot of weight, and instead of my family congratulating her on getting mentally better they were all more excited and couldn’t stop talking about her weight loss. I live lily Allen so much for telling it like it is. There is no fkg way these famous models and women eat what they want. Their earnings are based on their looks. Hello! One of the saddest things I ever read was with the caterer on the Australia movie set, who said Nicole Kidman only ate a few salad leaves everyday. I feel I’ll looking at Nicole and her sister she looks sickly and they were never that thin so please don’t say that’s their natural bodyshape. Models are usually quite young and metabolisms are different at that age, but when I see women so thin they look sickly, it’s a worry when you know they are doing things on purpose to stay that skinny. Sometimes I see girls in skinny jeans and I feel ill when I see their bones sticking out. Women have so much pressure to look a certain way and this doesn’t just come from other women but I’ve seen partners say the most horrible things, familiies (my own) and friends instead of people supportive. But guys can stroll around looking nine months pregnant and they don’t get hounded. Such a double standard.
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I have a friend who is like this. She doesn’t do it with me, but whenever someone else is thrown into the mix she makes a point of telling them how much she eats. She actually has a fantastic healthy diet, I envy it (she doesn’t like soft drinks – I wish I had that control!!!!) but she is naturally skinny and is unable to put on weight. Which is great, but she feels GUILTY because of it – and yes, it is only women who make the comments which is very sad. We should all support each other no matter what, drives me batty. That said, I told her I’d swap in a nano second lol (I put on weight if the person next to me is eating chips). So be it
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Yeah but because I’m a bit plump (size 12 and 5’6″) I do the opposite. In front of people I don’t know well or work colleagues, I often eat less than I would like to. I even do it a little in front of friends, particularly skinny friends or friends who are dieting themselves, and even just a little bit in front of my partner (the dinners I have when he’s at band practice are always fun). I think it’s because it’s only okay to have a bit of extra weight (I’m normal by the BMI, but overweight next to most actresses and models) if you are actively trying to be thinner.
Wow, that’s sad.
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You are most definitely not plump being a size 12 and 5 “6″. I’m a size 14 (sometimes 16, depending on the shop – cue frustration) and I’m 5 “6″ I wouldn’t say I’m plump – just full figured.
I think a lot of women eat less in front of their friends. Although the majority of my friends love food so we’re always encouraging each other to eat more! Did I mention I’m Italian? That might have something to do with it.
In 2008 I weighed 100kg – over the course of a year through healthy eating and exercise I got down to 74kg. I’m now hovering around 82kg so I’d like to get back to what I was but it can be difficult to maintain.
Totally unrelated but since I put on the 6kg it seems to have gone all to my boobs. I’ve always been well chested – 14D (sometimes DD I think) but this time it’s all gone just to my LEFT boob. My right boob is completely proportional but my left boob is seriously overweight. How do I explain to my personal trainer I’d like to lose weight on my left side only?
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Rose you’re hilarious. Maybe do the ‘i must I must I must increase my bust’ but on one side only. Being Italian food portions are on another totally different scale…and an insult to the cook if anything is left. I feel ya.
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Totally! I need to sing that to my poor little right boob…. she’s feeling like a total underachiever!
You can’t leave anything on your plate in an Italian family.
I can hear my Nonno screaming “YOU MUST EAT”!!!!!
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HAHAHAHAHHA! Oh my Rose that has brought such a big smile to my face on this yucky cold Friday morning. “My left boob is seriously overweight”.
I’d also like to say that Melissa might be plump (She might not, I don’t know, I haven’t seen her) because your height, weight & clothing size don’t neccesarily reflect how you carry your weight or the bone structure/body type you have. I’m extremely tiny boned (my wedding bands are a size G, have a look at that next time you’re in a jeweller) with a slim body type and very tall but I look about “right” in a size 9. If I go up to a 12 (standard sizing, not the stupid variations like the fact that I can buy any size in Witchery and it still fits) I can look a little bit plump in areas (belly) even though I am COMPLETELY aware that a size 12 is in no way fat. Especially not on my 5’9 frame. It still doesn’t look quite right on my body.
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My sister has had anorexia for almost 30 years and has been given less than 10 years to live. Wasn’t she thrilled last week when she had 2 ‘friends’ tell her that they thought she looked ‘good’? THANY YOU VERY MUCH for saying the opposite of what doctors, nurses and family have been telling her forever!!! She is dying for heaven’s sake, you don’t tell an anorexic that she looks well! That’s just ammo for her to starve herself a little more. Anyway, I feel better now that’s off my chest. Thank you. Time for a Tim Tam.
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I’m very sorry to hear that Anonymous. And while the MM community cannot offer physical nor emotional help to you and your sister, we definitely hope for the best for your family. Love is a very strong emotion, and we hope your sister hears the cries of your family over the pain and turmoil she must be experiencing. Look after yourself as well!
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i feel so much pressure – im trying so hard to lose weight and be a healthy weight (am about 15kg overweight at the mo) but everyone at work feels entitled to comment on my food choices, every day all day.
it is just so frustrating and difficult when im trying so hard and they seem to be trying equally as hard to wear me down.
really really hate it.
one good thing is i dont comment on anyone elses food choices ever, even when i notice.
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I never comment on other people’s choices, because mine are so dodgy! I look at my colleagues and think how naughty I am compared to them with their fruit and yoghurt. I’m not any fatter or skinnier than they are though, which proves either a) everyone’s lying and secret eating or b) it doesn’t matter what you eat, your body type is largely genetically determined (unless you starve yourself).
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I used to work somewhere where they had scales in the bathroom and encouraged you not to have lunch breaks (eat a yoghurt at your desk was the most common plan). Tell them to shove it up their woohoo or find a better work!
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What the??! What kind of job was it? One where staff personal appearance could impact at all ever possibly on the company? Did same go for men? Seriously, so confused.
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I hate it when people comment on what I’m eating!! I’ll be sitting at my desk digging into a massive pasta, probably with my mouth full and someone with a tiny figure will walk past with a tuna salad and say “mmmmm what’s that? smells great!” Grrrr. Drives me mad!
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“mmmmm what’s that? smells great!”
How is this rude – is there something in their tone? Because if I say this it’s just because the food does smell good.
(Or possibly an unsubtle reminder that in an open-plane office, people should preferably eat in the designated ears, & not at their desks.)
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*plan, *areas
(damn typing!)
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Seriously, someone commenting on your food smelling nice makes you angry? Wow.
Sure you’re not just projecting your own insecurities here?
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Oh God, I feel ya. Hate people commenting on my eating, it makes me really anxious.
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Me too! “Smells good” or “Looks nice” is even borderline.
Heated up a chorizo and bean stew today and someone walked past and said “That’s a meal and a half”. Yes, it was a large serve but I was hungry dammit.
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I find the time this comes up for me is at work…I try to eat healthily most of the week and then eat what I want on weekends.
At work I feel like every day is someone’s birthday, as a lot of women in my office like to bake. Most of the time I say no to cake – I’m not a fanatic and love to eat a lot of sugary goodness on occasions, but at other points I know I’ve had a big meal the night before and don’t feel like more junk.
My colleagues have started commenting on this, and now they make jokes about how I never eat anything bad…if I do say yes to it then they make a big deal of that as well so it’s really a no win situation!
Even on my birthday when I was enjoying a piece of cake someone had baked for me, it was such a production and lots of teasing about me actually eating it etc…
It’s so frustrating because I know a man who doesn’t eat dessert ever, and people just know this and accept this about him…he just doesn’t like sweet foods. If he was a women I’m sure he would be coping a lot of flack about his supposed disorder though!
Why can’t we have autonomy in what we eat?
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I used to work in an office like that too! I started saying that I was on a no sugar diet to avoid all the damn birthday cakes, and even then I would get harassed to eat the cake. Yet the guys in the office didn’t get pushed to eat it if they said they didn’t feel like it. It’s super frustrating isn’t it?
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Nursing is TERRIBLE for it!!! So bad. We get patients who give chocolate ALL THE TIME. It’s like…please give us a platter of fruit or SOMETHING but for the love of nursing, NO MORE CHOCOLATE.
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Mum sent me a fruit platter when I was in hospital a few years ago, and I gave it to the nursies, Ella!
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You can be my patient anytime!
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I always think that people who tease you about not eating all that sugary badness are just doing it to appease their own guilt, because they know they shouldn’t be doing so either. Stay strong, I say! There’s nothing worse than feeling bloated and horrible just to be polite.
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I love my work but there is one woman (a family friend) who makes constant remarks – if I don’t want cake or a hot cross bun (often because I have just eaten) the remarks start – “oh on a diet are we”
The other day I had a smallish container of lentil/barley/mushroom/leek/tomato soup (delicious!, and enough for me because of all the grains!) and she started talking about how I must be on a starvation diet, how could that be enough?! And when she found out my boyfriend had made it, she insulted him too (what kind of boy cooks with lentils)!! She does it in a way that isn’t as mean as it sounds on paper, but thinking about it now is making me angry
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This reminds of a dinner party at my house, my husband and I eat smallish portions at night and I still get teased about a burrito incident from a few years ago… when I underestimated the amount of burritos my guests would eat. I think they thought we were on some kind of diet!
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That would never happen in our family – we’re Italian. We always have a meltdown last minute that there isn’t enough food and whip up one more dish in 3 mins flat!
Sent a text to the boy the other night, saying family dinner was a small affair for only 5. He messaged straight back with, “so just eating for 10 then?”. And yes, there was leftovers enough for 3 additional night (in fact heading to Dad’s to finish it off tonight!).
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I am glad my workplace does not do birthday celebrations or in fact any sort of regular morning/afternoon tea. I love cake but there are around 60 people who work here which would be 1 birthday a week on average and I don’t want to eat it that much – plus it’s just a bit awkward when they’re people you don’t really know or like.
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I eat a lot and do not make any excuses.. but then I am not thin (or fat) but average. I do feel guilty when my thinner friends order salad and I order the carbonara and chocolate dessert though …. damn them! ;p
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I worked my butt of to get to my current weight, i was a 12-14 and im now 8 -10. I went to the gym 5 days a week and was on light easy for 10 weeks.
So when people comment on how thin I am, i say thankyou and do a little twirl.
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Work it banjo, work it!
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How did you find L&e – my mum is considering it but we looked at the example meals on the internet and they looked pretty awful…
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If it helps, I lost 40kgs on Lite n Easy. I managed ok with the food, it certainly wasn’t the best but I was seeing the weight drop off, so kept it up.
I went off for a few weeks at Christmas last year (because we were away) and when I came back and went back on it I couldn’t stand the food anymore.
I’ve been off it since January and not put on any weight, but I’ve not lost any more either.
My advice is that of you do it, eat exactly what they give you and nothing more. My mum is doing it now and only doing 5 days, and adding extras to it. She’s not losing the weight very quickly, well not as quick as I did when I was absolutley rigid on it.
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Good on you Banjo! I also worked hard to lose those pesky few kilos last year. I am the first person to tell everyone that it didn’t just happen easily – it took a huge lifestyle change that you have to work hard every day to maintain.
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What a brilliantly timed post. I’m sitting in the staff room munching down a 3 layer club sandwhich and fries, and am more worried about how I’m going to manage to finish it all than the calories
My body tends to tell me when it’s had enough junky food which is rather handy. I don’t even know how to work out calories and don’t think I ever will. Where’s the fun in mathmatical eating?
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Nope. I can honestly say I eat what I want – i do eat a good diet but I know I have more ‘treats’ than I should, Bowery I don’t hide it or play it up. With close friends who’ve battled eating disorders, I’ve learnt that I can’t base my eating habits around them. If I’m out and feel like a salad, that’s what I’ll get. If I’m not hungry, I won’t eat. But likewise, if I’m jonesing for a burger and chips, that’s what I order. I’m quite proud of how I view food – I do sometimes wish I had better self control, as I do need to lose a couple kilos (I’m no dreadfully overweight, but my doc has suggested just watching I don’t gain more) but I never punish myself if I eat something I know I don’t really ‘need’. My friends have accepted this in me and think they exempt me when they compete with food as per this article, and I do wish there wasn’t so much stigma surrounding women and eating. It’s not healthy to restrict yourself with food too much, but it’s worse if you hide it. When I used to be embarrassed about eating in front of men, I quickly learnt that men tend you judge you more if you DON’T eat. So eat up and be proud ladies! Or, if you do eat less or are on a diet – don’t hide it either. There’s no shame in taking care of yourself, and if you do haves problem, you might be offered help.
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hmm kind of….i go through phases. some weeks i run an hour a day and live on 900 calories but other weeks i get busy and do no exercise and eat a block of chocolate for dinner and nutella out of the jar. Sometimes i eat super healthy with friends and other times i just go crazy and eat all the chips in the bowl. Im quite young but as ive gotten older i’ve realised i absolutely have to balance out high calorie meals with low calorie ones. im 5 foot 2 and a size 6 to 8 and my weight goes up and down between the 47-50kg mark. i know that sounds reasonably low but i find because i have such a small bone structure and frame that when i put on even 3kg i look like i have put on 7 or 8kg. This has made me completely anal about maintaining a steady low weight, just because it looks so much better so yes if i pig out at a dinner i will not eat breakfast/lunch the next day or if i know i know im going out drinking one night i will eat significantly less in the day to make up for calories.i just feel like its a case of have to, some poeple can carry extra weight and look amazing because it suits there body but personally i want to look a certain way because for me i think thats the best i can look so i guess its just about evaluating where i am on that particular day and making sacrifices if necessary.
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A really popular concept in the gym community of which almost ALL celebrities are a part of is the “Free Meal”.
It means you can diet and work out each week and still eat a nice dinner out every week, with whatsoever you please and you wont put on an ounce of weight.
I used to go to a buffet every Saturday and the staff would remark how I never put on weight, but the truth was that 99% of the time I was eating healthy and losing weight, so the buffet couldn’t ever make a dent.
I wouldn’t be too quick to condemn celebs as liars.
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I have recently started seeing a dietician and gee whiz do I look forward to that free meal… I have started to appreciate what food is and how much of it I actually NEED to eat, opposed to how it can make me feel and how much I WANT to eat.
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When I was fat, or before I lost weight, whichever is PC and doesn’t offend, I worried about being ‘caught out’ going through a drive-thru or eating KFC in a food court, seriously, KFC was the worst worry for some reason??
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Ew KFC. I can’t eat it anymore, since a friend started calling it dirty bird. Aways so gross. But I hear you, when I was fatter I used to worry about being ‘caught’ eating junk food. Now I don’t care, because I’m happy with my shape. I still feel guilty if I take my kids t McDonalds though!
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I eat healthy the majority of the time but am still chubby. I have Poly cysitc ovarian syndrome so i find it hard to loose weight. But still try. I find myself lying if I do eat bad because of the looks I get from people, I say its only worth like 4 points (weight watchers) even if its a bit more. Mind you I am a healthy size 10-12 but am short so i carry it awkwardly.
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Im the same as you nicky, I eat more when i am out at dinner. not becuase i am trying to prove or disprove anything (i am naturally slim) but because i try not to get to caught up about things. i treat myself when i am out and i try to balance it the rest of the time.
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I’m naturally slim and it never fails to amaze me how rude people are when they see me eating – I get amazement if its junk and harassed if its just a salad/entree. Erm, I think I know more about my health than a relative/acquaintance/waitress so perhaps consider shutting the &*#! up? And don’t tell me I’m anorexic – you don’t look like a psychiatrist to me!
I certainly don’t badger overweight friends (or complete strangers!) about everything they put in their mouths …
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Its interesting to read your point, I don’t think people really think it rude to comment on a slim/skinny person’s eating habits. I certainly didn’t think it was rude to comment on a woman being slim until I asked a hairdresser of mine once ”My goodness, you’re tiny! how do you stay so slim?” and she was quite offended and said she was sick to death of everyone making comments about her weight and that they would never ask an overweight person ”How do you manage to stay so heavy!”
I never intended to offend her and apologized, but thought if someone commented on my slim figure I’d be thrilled, but maybe that’s just me!
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Fat, thin, or in between, I don’t think anyone really wants their body shape, weight or eating habits to be the topic of conversation with an acquaintance or stranger.
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Comments on my figure don’t really bother me one way or another, but endless comments on what I’m eating/not eating I find really rude and intrusive (especially when I have to politely laugh it off at work lunches etc). I wouldn’t wander up to an obese stranger and ask them how many kilojoules they consume a day and if they’ve considered seeing a nutritionist!
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I find if I want to comment about a friends appearance I usually say something like ‘You look fantastic… those jeans really suit you…’ or something like that. That way, I’m not implying they looked craptastic all the other times I’ve seen them, but sometimes it’s nice when someone comments about how well/healthy/happy you look!
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I’ve always been very skinny and I’ve always eaten a lot (at home and out). But that doesn’t stop people from making anorexic jokes or glaring at me if I dare to order a salad, or choose an apple as a snack. Believe me, there is nothing more uncomfortable than constant comments (always from women) of “Gee, you are so skinny. Look at you! etc, etc” These comments are always said in a bright admiring voice with an undercurrent of accusation and I feel as if they are thinking “Yes, definitely anorexic, or a gym-junky”…..So from my perspective you should stop making comments to skinny women. If you wouldn’t say to someone “Gee, you are so fat – how do you do it???” then don’t say the same to skinny women!
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It’s the mentality a lot of people have that salads and apples are only for people on diets.
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The comment I made to my hairdresser was meant in a ”Wow, you look fantastic!” kind of way, obviously mentioning she was ‘tiny’ was what offended her. I have a friend who recently went from a size 18 to a size 10 and I’ve said the same thing to her ”you’re so tiny!” and she laughed and took it as a compliment.
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Compliments are great and I think in these situations it’s best to say “you look amazing and positively radiant” and keep comments about body size out of it, even though you may mean well.
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You’re right, point taken.
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I agree no one should comment about another person’s weight (unless it’s a topic those people discuss). I spent most of my life having harsh comments thrown at me about my weight “You should stick chicken drumsticks down your legs”, “Do you eat?”, whenever it got windy “Careful! Grab Tamsin! She might blow away!”, “Do you disappear when you turn sideways?”, “You’re SOOOOO skinny, are you anorexic?”
Then I went to the gym regularly and put on 10kg and got “I thought you were puffing up your cheeks but it was just your fat face” grabbing the skin under my chin or “You’re getting quite fat, babe” and grabbing at my belly.
And yes, people really have felt it neccesarily to grab at the skin/fat on my body when saying these things. Both when I was thin (anyone else ever had their arm grabbed so people can feel your bones?) and now that I’m bigger (still a size 8-10 incidentally, so I’m not fat).
Neither side makes you feel good about yourself, when it’s strangers or when it’s your family or friends.
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totally off topic here Miss-T but just wanted to say I love your pic and your hair colour is so pretty. I’m thinking of dying my hair for the first time and just wondered if you dye it could you tell me what colour it is.
only if you dont mind.cheers.
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No worries! I get my dyed professionally because I don’t like store bought reds (often, not always, but often they come out very bogan). I go to Emma Dean Salon in Balmain, Emma (the owner) is a friend of mine and she does an AMAZING job. I dyed it myself for about 10 years and she’s been doing it for about 3, it’s much nicer when she does it.
Usually she mixes my colour by putting a red with a brown, I’m naturally blonde so straight red comes out VERY bright.
If you have to go packet dye, L’Oreal Feria is the way to go.
Here’s a big pic of my hair so you can see the colour, from the same shoot at my profile pic although the light is hitting it differently here so it’s a bit more copper.
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thanks! you could do a hair commercial with hair like that!
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Lol! Thanks anon, Emma is planning on using me for hers
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Your hair is GORGEOUS!
I have very fine hair that looks limp once grown past my shoulders, so have hair envy!
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Always Anon, I have super fine hair too, I just have a LOT of it. It can still go very flat because it’s also naturally dead straight. To get it like it is in that photo I used my flat iron straightener (I use Paul Brown because it’s got a variable temperature, you don’t really want GHD on fine hair) to curl it in very small sections, then I flipped it upside down, shook it & hair sprayed the base to boost the volume. Make the curls really tight to begin with then shake them out. Give it a try & send me a pic
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And, shamelessly self-promoting as I can be, I would be remiss not to plug my blog at this point where I post tips every week, often on hair and beauty (but also Excel and other things I’ve learnt).
http://www.tamsinhowse.com
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Oh, website is http://emmadeansalon.com.au/
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Holy moly you have fabulous hair. I’ll be on look out for you on a Pantene ad, flicking that mane about!
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And a beautiful porcelain complexion. Stunning!
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Naww! Thanks Nicky & Fran!
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As a recovering anorexic, comments on my figure confuse me.
I am still quite underweight for my height, but probably have been told numerous times I have the ‘body of a model’.
I have friends who state how jealous they are and how much they ‘hate’ me for having such a ‘great’ body.
I just can’t understand it.
I am ill.
I did horrendous things to my body to look the way I do, and as a consequence I have some pretty fucked up digestive issues.
When friends make these comments, not only does it confuse and sadden me, but it does make me angry that we’ve been brainwashed into thinking this is the ideal.
Why does it matter to anyone else what my weight is? (Not that any of this was why I got AN, but this is me reflecting now, in a better state of mind)
Before my last relapse, I used to go to the fruit and veg shop, get some sandwich fillers, go to the bakery and buy a bread roll and make a sandwich back at the office. Cheap and delicious, and just the way I wanted it. The bakery lady said to me every day when I bought my bread roll ‘You should be eating two bread rolls! Not just one you are way too skinny!!’
I would have waitresses remark about the food I was ordering – there was one time early in my recovery that I was at a cafe with my mum and ordered some hot chips and a salad. This was part of my rehabilitation; although it is not necessarily healthy to always order hot chips, it is okay to treat yourself once in a while, and it is perfectly normal to do so.
The waitress commented when she brought the food to me ‘oh honey, you’re so lucky you can eat this and get away with it – trust me, it’s all downhill from here. You’ll soon lose that quick metabolism’
I actually wanted to scream and cry all at once.
I’m sorry for the total rant, but we need to stop caring what other people eat / what they weigh / whether they exercise etc.
It does way more harm than it does good.
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I’m so sick of grown adults being judged by what they choose to eat. I go through cycles of eating very healthily and then less healthily, and I’m completely fine with it.
Sometimes I make a conscious decision to be more healthy even when I don’t really feel like it because there is a strong history of obesity and associated chronic illness in my family. And when I do choose to be that little bit more restricted with myself I absolutely HATE it when friends chastise me for being on a ‘diet’ and try to force me to eat more.
Honestly I feel like it’s not out of concern for me but due to competitiveness as they don’t want me to be skinnier than them. Whereas if I turn down a piece of cake at a family function then my dad (who suffers from type II diabetes and ALWAYS has to turn down cake for the sake of his health) is more so proud of me.
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I HATE people commenting on what I do/don’t eat. I have an eating disorder and my mind has perfected the ability of turning any comment into ‘you’re fat’. I’m trying to recover but still find eating in public/ in front of anyone to be distressing. I worry that they are going to judge me if I eat too much or too little. I will lie and say I’ve already eaten lunch, when I’ve been starving all day, or on the flip side, there are days when I’ll say I haven’t had lunch just so I can eat again. Typically I have rules about how much I can eat when I’m with someone else, always has to be less than them and I have to eat slower than them. BUT, if I’m having a ‘good recovery’ day and order something I actually want to eat or have a piece of cake, people think they have the right to comment on it, I then feel like I have to justify it and tell them why I’m eating so much (I missed lunch, I’ve exercised a lot today etc).
I wish people would stop commenting and judging others on what we do/don’t eat, regardless of whether they are overweight, underweight or of a healthy weight.
And yes, I don’t like the term liarexia (and similar). I feel it glorifies EDs.
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Like the phrase ‘You’re looking so healthy!’ I would ban the term ‘healthy’ if I could. It instantly makes me think I’ve put on weight, leading to freaking out about it, crying etc. Yay.
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Totally know what you mean on that one. Just tonight my boyfriend asked what I’d had to eat today, as I mentioned I’d been feeling faint/dizzy all day. After I’d told him what I’d had, he replied with, that’s good, you’ve eaten. Totally harmless comment, to me though, it was the equivalent of saying ‘you’ve had way too much to eat today, you’re fat’.
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I’m a 6ft guy with a reasonable build – but I’m an emotional eater who binges.
I’m embarassed when I go to the shops and buy a block of chocolate (or 2 chcocolate bars), so I’ll hide them away and stuff myself when no one is around – even when I know I should share!
Entirely dysfuncitonal, and so periodically I go the opposite way, eat nothign but healthy food, exercise 7 days a week, lose a few kg’s to get back to my ideal weight, and so the cycle will restart.
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Yes, me too! I think IRS because I know what my body responds to and if I eat a heap of crap then I put on weight. But then I lose it all again very quickly and everyone is amazed at how good I look. My weight fluctuates by about 15kg, so it’s probably quite dangerous. I worry about my metabolism when I’m older, but I seem to be stuck in this dysfunctional pattern, too. I am such a binger.
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I used to be a huge foodie, loved cooking as much as eating but these days with 3 young kids my main source of food seems to be the milk in my home made latte. Food is not anywhere near as important as it used to be, I used to dream about what my next meal would be. these days i’ll get to 5pm and wonder what that funny gurgling sound is and realise I have not eaten yet.
But when I do get the odd chance to eat out I totally go to town. I’ll have appertisers, entree’s, main, sides and dessert. Yes I know that does not balance everything out, and in no way am Iying about what I eat (by eating differently to home) but you would definately see 2 totally different people if you saw me at home on a typical day of 2 coffee’s maybe a yogurt and dinner compared to what you see me vaccuum up on a night out. I also have food allergies and there is a lot I don’t eat on a regular basis compared to when i am out and am a bit more lenient.
These women/celebrities pretending they live on junk food does nothing to help the young of today. I do believe a lot of what Lily Allen said, I’m sure there are drugs and other things involved to help them stay that skinny. Eating disorders are not a joke and lying about how you look after your body (food and excersize) is no joke either.
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I can understand why very skinny women lie about their intake (not that I would in a million years). I have a friend who is underweight, and when I see her eating just a salad or entree I get a little cross as I worry about her health. So I wouldn’t blame her for eating more in front of me just to get me off her back. I’d rather she just eats an occasional cheeseburger, though…
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I’m know your heart’s in the right place – but this sort of concern/pressure is really annoying (and if she does have an eating disorder, won’t help anyway).
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You know, I’m sure it is annoying, and I certainly don’t do it all the time, but what is a concerned friend to do? I don’t believe she has an eating disorder, I think she just doesn’t eat enough, and she’s forever getting sick and run down and I want her to be healthy! She tells me when I need to be looking after myself. Shouldn’t I do the same?
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Its hard when you want to help someone and they won’t listen (or don’t hear it) …
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Encouraging her to eat a cheeseburger isn’t looking after her health though – encourage her to eat some brown rice and lean protein if you want her to be healthy.
Weight is not a perfect indicator of health – you can be over or under weight accordng to BMI ratings and still be in good health.
Talk to her about the health benefits and nutritional content in food, not in a ‘you should’ way but in a ‘wow, have you tried quinoa? It’s high in protein, low in fat and is SO yummy!’ way.
No one needs to eat more cheeseburgers, no matter how skinny they are. White bread is basically just sugar and we actually have no need for additional sugar in our diet, we can access enough carbohydrates from wholegrains and legumes for good health.
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I know, I was joking about the cheeseburger. Just want her to eat more. And she’s not healthy. Forever getting sick and looks very run down.
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Perhaps point out that she seems run down and suggest she see a nutritionist to make sure she’s getting enough of everything? Her health will improve, and her appetite might return once she’s feeling a bit better?
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I have a few friends who do just this!
They have all recently (in the past year) lost HEAPS of weight and are now really skinny. People who have known them for years, like me, know that their current physiques are not normal for them but when they are questioned they tell SO many obvious lies!
I don’t care what they look like they are my friends but I wish they would just admit that they have drastically reduced their food intake instead of shovelling food into their faces when we are together and then obviously not eating much at other times.
I guess it is no different to women who lie about Botox or fillers or other cosmetic procedures. They want other women to envy their “natural” genetic superiority. It’s all a competition in their mind I suppose.
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To what do they credit their newfound thinness?
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I think we all sit on a continuum in terms of our relationships with food. Some people practice self-restraint in public, but tend to eat more alone. Some eat more with guy friends and then eat less with girlfriends – or vice versa. Some eat lots in public and ‘make up for it’ by later eating less. I think when we stop noticing, commenting and making a big deal and accept that we are all different and thats ok we will be in a better place. And if people are telling white lies – its probably because of the pressure put on them by everyone else who thinks they can/should have a say about their weight and relationship with food.
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Agreed. I mean, is it really necessary to make a snarky comment if someone goes back for a second piece of cake? There are more important things to worry about.
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I think this is a fantastic comment, completely agree with you Antria. Especially about people commenting and making a big deal, it can make us feel guilty for eating when we’re completely allowed to!
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Probably the saddest thing is that these celebrities think the public do not see through their lies. We know all the tricks ladies. You cannot fool us! Just get on with worrying about more important things, please.
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I lost a lot of weight following a strict diet and exercise program. I found despite the fact I needed to loose weight people would comment when I chose not to have the slice of cake at the work function and make comments about me going to the gym after work. The pressure to conform was crazy and I sometimes went to work lunches and ordered a burger and chips just to avoid the snide comments. However, at the same time it made me even more self conscious about what I chose to eat, excerise more to burn the unplanned calories off and worried people now thought I was eating too much in public. I still often seek approval from friends before allowing myself a treat to this day.
In hindsight I feel this was more about their own control or lack of it than my dedication to get to a healthy weight but it did impact upon me and I often feel bad when I catch myself judging an obese person eating badly.
I can’t begin to imagine how it impacts on celebrities when tabloids are commenting on their bodies and eating habits weekly in the trash mags as with the internet that is global commentary not just a small group of people.
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