They say getting married and moving are two of the most stressful events you will face in your lifetime.
Let’s just say that that I’d dance the funky chicken at my 19th wedding rather than move house one more time. Because this time, we weren’t just moving house, which for some insane reason, we seem to do about every 4 years, we were moving State. Lots of states. We were moving to Victoria.
Have you ever talked so much about something that it actually turned into reality? I mean, like something so massive, so life changing, it will not only interrupt your own life but all of those around you as well? It seems that I may have done this.
A few months ago my husband I sat down and realised we were getting nowhere. Building and construction here on the Gold Coast has basically stalled. People are sitting on their hands waiting for something to happen. In turn, Phil hasn’t worked a solid week since Christmas 2010. I’m pretty sure this is the story being told by any tradie on the Gold Coast right now. Confidence is thin on the ground, the Real Estate Bubble burst a while back and people are scrambling to sell at much less than they did two years ago. We could see it coming, but we’ve rode this out here a few times before.
The last time was in 2001 and we only had one child at the time. Phil moved to Sydney where he was offered a great job. I stayed behind and it was relatively easy. Well for me. Although to be honest, we were kind of running two households, flying to and fro and what not. And although I was fine working, running my daughter Mad to day care and looking after ourselves, Phil didn’t fare quite as well. What should be every man’s dream was his nightmare. I mean, nights to oneself, pub dinners, beers with mates and complete control of the remote control sent him nuts. So he came home.
So this time around we were realistic. The mines were an option, but that involved FIFO and weeks away from the family. No go. So we started to investigate. Before we knew it, Phil was offered a job. In Melbourne. Whoa.
So I alone set off in my little car and drove away from the only place I’ve ever known. Away from my brother and two of my best friends in the world, my wonderful boss, all of our lovely neighbours and other friends and family and drove in a semi- straight line to Melbourne. I had one thousand, four hundred and fifty nine things to organise and very little time to do so. But winging it has always kind of been my MO.
As we sat out on our deck before the move, in our modest little seaside home and had a beer, I wondered out loud if we were doing the right thing. The logistics are huge. Phil looked at me and simply said ‘Mate, if it’s not right, we can always come back, what have we got to lose?’ Oh, just my sanity, but apart from that, nothing.








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160 Comments so far
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Melbourne to London, husband had a job offer too good to refuse. Packed life in comfy suburban Melbourne into a shipping container, rented out house, took 2 babies to the other side of the world as far as I could get from support of grandparents, friends, mothers group, anything familiar. Left a lovely life behind and took a long time to establish same in London where we had no one, knew no one. Was so hard with 2 young ones, I remember the darkness and the kids wanting to go to the park but it was dark at 3.30pm. We travelled constantly for 3 years any chance we got and had some amazing adventures that unfortunately kids probably wont remember. The cold I got used to and I met some lovely people, I miss the shopping and the museums the most, and being able to pop over the Europe for the weekend! So glad we took the opportunity as it was a very exciting memorable time. Back in Australia now I appreciate how lucky we are to bring up our children in this country and I’ll never complain about my life again. Glad to be home!
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I moved from my very comfortable family home on the NSW Central Coast, where I had lived all my life, to an isolated farm in the North-West. Biggest lifestyle change ever haha
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For me the challenge has been staying in one place.
In the first six years I lived out of home I lived in 12 places, yep a move every six months. Sometimes it was around the corner, but it was also a between between country towns, cities and eventually, states.
My last move was into the house my partner and I built, it’s our fourth home in almost five years together and we’re planning another move soon. Moving house is all I can do to stop thinking about moving cities again. Developing habits scare me because the more I do it, the more I love it and the less able I am to change!
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For me the challenge has been staying in one place.
In the first six years I lived out of home I lived in 12 places, yep a move every six months. Sometimes it was around the corner, but it was also a between between country towns, cities and eventually, states.
My last move was into the house my partner and I built, it’s our fourth home in almost five years together and we’re planning another move soon. Moving house is all I can do to stop thinking about moving cities again. Developing habits scare me because the more I do it, the more I love it and the less able I am to change!
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Found out fiance had affair with my sister two months before wedding.Cancelled wedding.Stayed for while but couldnt forgive or forget.I was broken.Sold house and moved by myself to a small island off Brisbane.Everyone thought I was mad.Loved the community feel.A lovely man from my past found me there and we got married and had a beautiful daughter.Fourteen years later we moved back to the real world.If that bad hadnt have happened we wouldnt be where we are now.Everything happens for a reason.Sometimes we need a little nudge.Thankyou universe
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I moved house 18 times by the time I was 18! All within Perth. My husband has lived all over the world but we have only moved once since we’ve been together, to Sydney in February last year. We’re currently planning a trip to Europe – we were rejected for a UK visa (their fault for not telling us we needed an official bank letter alongside our statement) so we’ve just applied again and are waiting to hear our results. If we get it, we’ll be moving to London in late February. If we don’t, we have decided to move to Germany in the middle of the year! I’m starting a new career and neither of us can speak German, so it should be a fun (and terrifying!) adventure
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I was moving even before I was born – mum was pregnant with me when she and my dad moved from Manila to Illigan City in the Philippines which I called home until I was 8 when we immigrated to Brisbane. We stayed for a year before moving to a town, Toowoomba. At 18, I moved to Brisbane to study. At 22, I moved to Vancouver for 2-3 months then moved to Toowoomba then back to Brisbane again. Decided not to renew my contract to travel around the US next month then next year I have a ticket to London to live/work there. Still yet to sort out paperwork, accommodation, job. All being done while I work as a freelancer now. PS: I’m looking for contract work! Check my site to see what I do
I daydream of being settled and having a house of my own at some point
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Hannah – we can’t check out your work if you don’t attach your website!
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We moved a few times as a family when I was a child. Then I made the move abroad as a teenager by myself to London first, then ended up in Cuba, then Africa, then back to London, then got transferred to Cardiff. Then I moved to Australia and now I live in France. I found it easy when I was younger and single with nothing to my name – these days it is more painful with a mortgage to pay in Australia, tenants to find etc. I can’t imagine how difficult it would be with children!
I love the first few months of having moved to a new country, where I’m completely out of my depth, struggling with language, culture etc, and then for things to start clicking into place – people to start understanding you when you do the groceries, making new friends, getting to grips with a new language.
Best of luck with it all, Bern!
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My in laws moved from Sydney to Tasmania last year and haven’t looked back…also means free accomodation for us. My parents moved 300km from Sydney to country NSW and also found it fairly easy, and are happy. My wife and I would like to leave this hell hole os Sydney and move to Tasmania. However lack of work in Tassie, lack of skills in us (I’m only Cert 4 trained in Welfare and experienced in Child Protection and Education support, my wife is trying a career change to admin work) and lack of money are holding us back. If I was given $20000 today we’d pack the bags, book the Spirit and go.
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Within 6 months I’d met my husband to be and moved 2 hours south of our home town. It wasn’t interstate or overseas, but the change from the inner west of Sydney to a small, rural community was substantial. We moved for my husband’s work, and for a slower, quietier life. I commuted to Sydney for 2 years before we had our baby.
I’m coping, but only because we have a family holiday house not far from here, and 2 hours means some friends make the journey and stay in our overgrown acre. I’ve slowed and feel like I’m returning to base.
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Massive move?? Yes I have!! I have just left a warm Melbourne for a very cold, almost snowing Warsaw, Poland. One way ticket. 2 young boys in tow. Its going to be a very interesting few years …..
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WOW! that’s a huge move. Is it for love or for work? Or just because?
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Wow! I would love to do something like that. What made you decide to make such a big change?
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Thanks for the wonderful post. It just gives me the real itchy feet syndrome you are talking about again! My hubby and I are in a small NSW town and run beef cattle but are forever taking ‘trips’ to find another place to be (this is his home town) I moved alot with my previous employment and my hubby has travelled alot also. I dont know if we are just the type who love the excitement of moving and change or if it is just this place that we cant settle in. I am now looking on the net for jobs in Darwin!!
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In 2008, we moved from Brisbane to Beijing with two kids. Move home in January after having a third in china. Ten months later we’re counting down the weeks until we move to Shanghai (!). I’m excited yes but life in Brisbane is easy, the sky is blue, grass green and air fresh. Ignoring it all at the moment…
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My husband and I were happy living in our inner city middle class “ghetto” but could see our lives traveling along a predictable trajectory and we wanted to explore a new way of living- at least for a couple of years.
So with jobs secured we packed our two babies and dogs and headed for the small,
isolated town we planned to temporarily call
home. Ten years, one child and another dog
later we look back on an enriching chapter.
The decision to step out of our lives was a daunting one. Life in a small town has been challenging. Living away from beloved friends and family has been difficult. But our choice to embrace change has lead to Incredible experiences and abiding friendships.
Change is hard and sometimes overwhelming. But change Helps us grow as people and as a family. With this in mind we have now committed to another change at the end of 2012. Once again I feel the familiar feelings of anxiety wrap around my heart. My children are no longer babies, they have lives and friendships of their own. But I want to show them that being immobilized by fear will lead to a smaller life. Embracing the nerves, rising to the challenge will hopefully encourage them to reach for adventure and live a life filled with enriching adventures.
incredible experiences and friendships. Recently we have drawn on the
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Bern – you CAN DO IT. It takes three months to feel settled but revel in new places and experiences.
Melb-perth. perth-melbourne. melb-london.london-melbourne. melbourne-london (picked up husband) london-ghana. ghana-london. london-sydney. sydney-melbourne. (picked up a kid) melbourne-london. (picked up two more kids. Still holding onto the husband luckily) london…..managed 15 house moves in the past ten years. Looking at another one next year. Still to be decided whether it’s Sydney, Singapore or ‘home’ to Melbourne. Suffice to say we are quite streamlined and packing is amongst my top five skills. I even enjoy the packing process now (although as someone said below, professional packers for the o/s moves have been a miraculous addition to the job).
Even unpacking is quite therapeutic. Every time I unpack, THIS is going to to be the house where everything has a special place and I am the greatest mother and homemaker in the world. Within two weeks there is a drawer full of candles, old adaptors, batteries, a few spare keys, two dummies and a phone charger for a phone last seen in 1992. One day….
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I’m in awe of all of you who have made massive moves. I’ve lived in Melbourne all my life, but the boy and I are looking at buying a place in Ballarat. Compared to some of your moves this is hardly anything but I am terrified!
Living there means an affordable, lovely house so I can be a sahm when we start a family, but further from our families. Or we buy a more expensive, smaller place on the outskirts of Melbourne, closer to what we know, but we won’t be able to afford it if I stay home too long.
Thoughts? Advice??
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Take the adventure path every time- helps you grow as a person and a couple and helps your kids learn that changes are a positive life skill. My kids adapt easily to all situations now and embrace change enthusiastically.
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Melbourne-Seattle 1991, Seattle-Melbourne 1992,Melbourne-France 1995,
France-Sydney 1999,Sydney-Singapore 2003. Singapore-Rural Seaside community Victoria 2012. We have moved four kids( 19,17,11 and 4) around the world for so many years now and my favorite move is happening soon.Each move has had its stresses but every time it takes just 3 months to settle kids,make a home and make friends.Some of our experiences have been stressful, lonely,and at times so bloody hard but they have also been so incredibly interesting and rewarding.
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ooh, how was France?
I’m planning 6 months there in 2015
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Living in France was special but also challenging as when we moved there neither of us could speak French. I learnt a lot of French having to do French phonics homework with my children!!!! My happiest day was when a mother at the village school spoke to me- it took a very long 6 months for somebody to say hello back to me!!!!!!
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My husband and I went on a “holiday” to Colombia so I could meet his family and ended up staying for 6 years, it is very hard getting a Colombian to leave his family! However the adjustment to living there for me never really happened. I kept looking at other expats and thinking they looked happy why couldn’t I be too. I saw the beauty in Colombia but in my eyes compared to Australia and New Zealand it just never measured up. When I had my son lying in the hospital I missed my mum and closest friends so much. Also I wanted my son to have all the things I had as a child, so I decided enough was enough and insisted we move back. It was very challenging, we had to start all over again as we could not afford to ship our stuff so we packed our 23kg suitcases and sold off the rest. Once we got back to Sydney everything was totally different. What had been easy when we were in our early 20′s and dating was now impossible with a child. The areas we used to love seemed “to hard” now. Our first place in the eastern suburbs was too small and skanky and it was expensive. Then we got robbed! So we ended up moving to the inner west lots of parks, community initiatives and free parking. It took me a while to reestablish my friendships too and a lot of the people I used to dream about reconnecting with when I was a lonely expat in Colombia are less interested in me now I have kids and I guess me in them. It was heavenly coming home though, I have never appreciated Australia more.
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We moved to KL five years ago. My husband originally came over for a three month secondment so he was here already when the call came that there was an opportunity to stay. Cue a two week trip to check the place out and then it was back on the plane for our 18 month old daughter and I to go back to Oz and pack everything up for the trip. Yep, my husband continued working in KL while I got the fantastic job of settling everything up at home.
I guess it wouldn’t have been so bad if we hadn’t started painting the place before he left. So on top of organising packers, storage, and real estates agents to rent our place out, I was also sanding back and painting walls to get the house into some sort of order for someone else to live in it!
So, like you Bec, I packed up on my own and set off for the great unknown. It was scary and lonely at first, but my life is the richer for it. We now have two beautiful girls and have made friends from all around the world. Sure it can get hard sometimes, especially when really good friends move on and the husband travels so much, but my girls have really benefited from the experience and have had so many more opportunities here than they could have had if we were still in Australia.
Good luck.
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I came here from Europe 6 years ago. My husband and I had had a (very) long distance relationship for four years before I finally made the move. It is good, Australia is a much nicer place than Denmark, but it means that I must force myself daily not to dwell on the fact that I can’t just visit my family when I feel like it (we’ve always been within 5 minutes of eachother), my mum won’t get to see her first grandchild grow up and won’t have a close bond with her. And don’t get me started on the friendships that are struggling to survive the distance.
But this is how it is, this is the choice I’ve made and I’m going to have to make the best of it.
Meanwhile my mum is cursing those cute Aussie boys…
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In November of 2010 I finished school. I was all fresh and intelligent! The world literally was my oyster. In January 2011 I moved to England. I packed my life into 27kgs and left. I was from Grafton, Northern NSW. A relatively small country town. I waved goodbye to Mum and Dad at the airport, and left. I was ready for a new adventure. I was off on a GAP year, to work at a boarding school in Wickham, Hampshire, about 80 miles south of London. It was beautiful, but so scary. I lived in a manor house, with a 3 mile drive surrounded by rape seed. It was picturesque! It was England.
I’ve had to work long hours, clean many dirty pants (something I wouldn’t expect to do as an 18 year old, so cut me some slack!) and give lots of smiles and hugs. The move was scary, but it was the best descison I’ve made in a long time! I’ve met amazing new friends and travelled Europe. I’ve seen France, Belgium, the Netherlands, Spain, Greece, Croatia, Italy, Poland, Slovenia, Slovakia, Hungary, Germany, Ireland, Czech Republic, and Holland. And I’ve still got 3 months to go!
Moving overseas has been a real adventure (and not just because of all the travelling). I’ve gained independance, and worldly knowledge. To me, this is now my home.
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Moved from melb to Singapore been here 4 years now off to….. South Africa!!!
Lifes an adventure now I’ve become an Expat I love it
The best part is sussing potential friends out, like starting at a new school ” do you want to be my friend?! ”
It’s a great test of a relationship with your partner, they become everyone roled into 1 best mate, bitch, gossip, sounding board, lover, adviser, basically everything you’d go to your mates for now all gets put onto your partner, which is full on!! You go from being ‘low maintenance’ back in your home town to ‘ when did you become so nuts?!” in the new place, you haven’t changed its just you’ve only got one person to talk to!!!!
What I’m loving is all the people who have the stereotypical view of south Africa crime and poverty.
Professional movers are the shiz!!! Even arranged my cats passports!
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I moved from Tasmania to Sydney 5.5 years ago. I was 21, and I was also moving out of my parents place for the 1st time – double whammy! It was terrifying. Not only dealing with rent, bills and all grocery bills for the first time, but in a whole new city. Navigating my way around even the area I lived in made me utterly confused every day! Tasmania is a very insular place at times, so I was also facing far more ethnic, cultural, religious and sexual difference that I’d ever been exposed to (and the prejudices that go along with them!). I spent the first 12 months here terrified of everything! The people here seem rude – no one said please or thank you in shops, people ploughed you down in shopping centres or getting on trains (don’t even get me started on trains!).
To make matters worse, about 2 months after I moved here, my mum got a job in Melbourne and parents sold the home I’d lived in for 21 years and moved there. I had to go back and collect anything I’d left there that I had’t quite deemed necessary here, but cared about to keep over all that my parents could no longer store.
Since then, I’ve moved three times. Each time, packing up my life and realising it all fits in a bunch of boxes is weird. I also cull back more and more stuff with each move! I used to be a real hoarder, keeping every little thing I thought I valued, but with each move, there were points off ‘is this really worth hauling along? I haven’t even looked at it for 12 months!’ Now I’ve become an expert spring cleaner. I still keep everything, but every 6-12 months I go through the lot and chuck 90% of it!
We currently live in a teent tiny one-room granny flat, so space and not having to much stuff is even more important. At the moment it’s fine, because there’s nowhere to keep anything (the only storage space we have is under the bed!), but when we eventually move to an actual apartment, or (good lord) a house, I won’t know what to do with all the space! We’ll kinda have to start from scratch, as everything we have now is crappy DIY shelves etc from the reject shop or aldi! It’s all going to get the boot when we move and we’ll just start at the beginning.
What’s weird though, is when I visit my sister in Tassie (just booked some flights!), while it’s still so SO familar and I know every bend in every road, I don’t feel like I’m ‘at home’. I think it’s partly to do with the fact that the house I grew up in isn’s ours any more, and my parents are there either. Sydney is definetly my home now
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I think that’s what I want. To say ‘This is my home’ Thanks for sharing xx
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I did the big move to Sydney when I finished uni. Late last year I made the move to London.
While it was incredibly stressful both times, I loved the ‘starting fresh’ side of things. I love clearing through my things and only saving the items that I really love – it really gives you a new perspective on all that ‘stuff’.
When my visa is up here I will probably go back to Bathurst for a few months with the family and then head to Canada. I’m still crossing my fingers that the US visa lottery comes through but won’t get my hopes up. When I do go back to Australia permanently it will probably be Melbourne.
I felt stuck for a long time in the country and promised myself that I’d never live in one place too long again. I guess I’ve just never been as settled as other people. There’s something to be said for having your own space and putting down roots (moving around a lot, everything can feel very ‘temporary’), but I’m a few years away from that I think.
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My husband is Balinese and we have just moved back to Aus as my oldest daughter is due to start school next year and unfortunately we can’t afford international schools in Bali (the cheapest is about $5000 a year and we have 3 daughters) and we know that local schools cannot offer the education that our Aus schools can. I have lived in Bali for the last 8 years, met my husband and got married there, and have had 3 children. We lived a simple life but it was the happiest 8 years of my life. Finding it really really hard to be back in Aus, just doesn’t feel like home anymore… I know in my head it’s the right thing to do but my heart is still in Bali.
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Tough situation. When you have to factor in schools and futures, it’s a whole new ball game. x Good luck
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After 10 years travelling around the world including the final 2 years based in London, we moved back to Aus, 32 weeks pregnant. No jobs, no house, no baby clothes, cot, car or even a plate and spoon to call our own. Doesn’t take long to find your feet though. Gorgeous, generous family are very helpful!
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I’m moving to Melbourne next April from Perth for work. Scary, but I feel the need for life in a bigger city so I am also very excited. I lived in London in my early 20′s for 2 years and grew up a lot and I feel its time to move on again and start my next adventure life chapter.
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Good luck!
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I love a big move. fresh started,potential new friends. Discoveries every week end.
I used to luck when single and moved all over the country and the U.K. Now I am married and live in a small town and are can’t imagine moving 8 minutes away to the next town.
Enjoy the excitement. One thing I did find is itis hard to go back. You change and grow away from your home and it never feels like home again. You make a new home and a new life and enjoy the new chapters I. Your life.
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5 years ago I moved from Europe to Sydney. I was 19 (knew no one)and packed the morning of the flight. Such a big move, and I had a boyfriend at the time but it didnt let it stop me. I don’t regret the move for a second but I do get homesick occasionally. Luckily my family is only a phonecall away:)
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Try leaving jobs, getting married & moving countries all in the space of 3 months! Lots of moves – to London in 1997 then over to Amsterdam in 2000 with my work. Met my English husband there & we got married in Italy in 2003. Moved back to London for a year, my husband got his visa for Aus & we moved back just in time for the Rugby World Cup!. Spent 9 months living in my old room at my parents house in Brisbane without a proper job & I got pregnant. Husband finally landed great job on the Gold Coast & I was estatic as my best friends lived there! Cue 3.5 years on the GC, 2 beautiful little girls & my husband comes home & says he’s been offered a job with his company in Singapore. I understood it was a good opportunity & when you marry someone from another country you have to make compromises. 4.5 years later still in Singapore except we have 4 little girls now! Think everything we’ve done has kept life fresh & exciting!
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Well, I moved to Switzerland… Still here now.
Hope to move back to Sydney in January so I feel for you!
I’ve been away for so long that I’ll probably feel left out/disorientated for a bit….
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I have done a hell of a lot of moving in 10 years too. However I never really moved with a lot of ‘stuff’, just the essentials, yknow, clothes and cds.
In 10 years I have done: Sydney, Byron Bay, Ayers Rock, Sydney, Toronto, Whistler, London, Sydney, Tasmania, Broome, Wollongong.
I am already itching to find a new home city/town! I must be crazy but I love moving!!!
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Oh and I forgot about Thailand! (although I was only there for 6 months)
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We moved from Melbourne to Brisbane in the mid 90s. I would’ve gone back years ago, but my hubbie had a well paying job that he didn’t want to leave. They’re doing some retrenchments at his work now and we’ve discussed maybe going back, but we’ll see. We have discussed Perth too….
I did lists when we made the move. They helped, I was the one who moved first and made most of the arrangements. Not fun.
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Moving. Not that stressful for me actually. I’ve always done it by myself though, which I’m sure makes all the difference in the world. I spent the majority of my twenties living in my swag in the bush. The biggest move was to come to the Netherlands and this is the longest I’ve been in one place my entire adult life (just over three years now).
We’re planning to relocate back to Australia in 2014 and I’ll be honest, that prospect is starting to freak me out already. We’ll have a child by then and we’re already buying new things with the mentality: “Will this be moving to Australia with us?” My husband is a shocking hoarder, but has all of a sudden realised that selling some of his treasures online is even more fun than hoarding. Thank goodness.
Enjoy Melbourne Bern, I think that’s where we’ll come back to eventually. Love it.
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Well, if marriage and moving are the two most stressful things then I should have had a nervous breakdown by now! I got married AND moved from Sydney to London in the last year.
Things we found stressful about moving:
- Finding a place to live. It was far more paperwork than we ever imagined and took us a whole week to get organised.
- Making new friends. This is an ongoing battle as we are constantly trying to meet new people, arrange dinner parties and deal with rejection or last minute cancellations. It’s very tiring having to be in constant “make new friends” mode and put yourself out there socially.
- Moving forward in our careers. We are both teachers and are only just finding our feet over here. The unemployment rate in London is over 10%, so jobs are very hard to come by. We finally have good jobs but it took months and months to get there.
However, now we are settled and have found a flatmate for our apartment, I wouldn’t have it any other way. It’s been such an adventure and a really good thing to do as a newly married couple.
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I can relate to this article. I moved to Thailand from the United States four years ago. That was a huge life-changing move! I couldn’t bring much with me and had no idea what to expect. However, I’m even more nervous about eventually moving back to the US, which I plan to do in 2-3 years. After four years in Thailand, I now have a beautiful baby and wonderful husband. My husband is from Thailand, so moving back to the US is going to require much more than just packing up and going. We’ve been speaking to a Bangkok lawyer about immigration and visa issues. The whole process is a bit daunting. Frankly, moving is stressful enough without considering keeping my family together as well. I hope that once we start the immigration process, everything else will fall into place. Thanks for sharing your story and listening to mine.
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Oh, I’ve been looking into moving to Thailand. Do you mind sharing how you went about finding work and adjusting? For some reason, I’m compelled to go back and would love to work over there. Thanks!
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hey emelle. i found my first job through teachabroad.com. once i decided to stay, I found all of my subsequent jobs on http://www.ajarn.com. you can post your resume on that website too. i love living here, although the current flooding is really horrible. adjusting to thailand was fine and I was able to save enough money to travel around Asia for a 6 months. read up on the culture, especially about “saving face”, and learn a few words and phrases. i hope you decide to do it!
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No problem and best of luck when you do
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I didn’t mind moving before our little girl came along – my husband and I moved lots, we just followed our work opportunities… In 14 years we went Lismore, Gold Coast, Swan Hill, Bangalow, Lismore, Canberra (3 house moves whilst there), Newcastle (4 house moves whilst there) and now sydney. The last 3 moves have been with our little girl and there were soooooooo much harder, there is so much more stuff, even with a massive cull every time we move. The clearing out of stuff is a great benefit of moving
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It has been such a different experience trying to rent somewhere down here. We haven’t rented in so long and didn’t realise how intensive the application is!! Finally got approved for one today so can stop stressing out as much. Yes, children and stuff seems to be the way it is x
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I married when I had just turned 22 and moved to New Zealand for 15 years. I was a home body before I married, but I loved the challenge of living somewhere else. We then moved every 2 years with John’s job, leaving everything behind and moving back to Australia 6 years ago. We chose Melbourne – a place where I didn’t have any friends or family and had only ever visited on business. I love it here! It’s a fantastic place to bring up kids and there’s something for everyone. Let me know if you’re lonely and we can talk online until you’re sure I’m not a stalker and then we could perhaps meet up for a coffee. One step at a time…. Seriously, you will love it here.
I’d put a photo in so you can see that I’m not a stalker but can’t seem to connect with Facebook from this site. I hate being the coloured box…..:)
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I know. Am hanging for them all to arrive. I’ve seen so many cool places that I’m not sure I’ll EVER find again, but loving it so far.
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When I was 25 I left Queensland, o left behind my man, my family, job and mortgage for a job in Munich,Germany. It was the single most rewarding and harrowing experience of my life- from sun to snow – knowing zero language and not knowing a soul. I learned very quickly to swallow my pride and ask ynknowns for help, to make friends and to survive without a kitchen, car or much money. I don’t regret a thing. My man joined me 7 months later, my sister and best friends and mum and dad came to visit and we open our eyes to challenge. We then moved to Japan before re settling at home in Australia and started our family. You only live once- best making the most of it!
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GREAT story. Thanks, love it.
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Surely getting divorced rates as a more stressful experience than getting married?! (not that I would know, never been either!)
I did a move from Nth Qld to Brisbane for Uni 4 years ago, and have moved once within Brisbane. The first 6 months were hard, I got really sick and didn’t know my housemates but it got better! Now one of those housemates is my boyfriend and the other is still one of my best mates (we all still live together!) He’s moving overseas in January and I’m DREADING the thought of moving or finding someone new, although I’ve been amazingly lucky to have such a great run! In general it’s been WAY harder to make friends in a new city than I expected.
It’s funny because after highschool I was 100% hellbent on leaving my small hometown, and my BF (who I met in Bris but grew up in a neighbouring suburb to me) hates the idea of ever moving back! Sometimes I think about moving again, but seeing as I’ve had such a hard time making the 3 friends I have, the idea of starting all over is more daunting than exciting! So I think I’ll just stick around
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I’ve done Adelaide – Melbourne – Adelaide – Canberra – Melbourne – Adelaide – Cairns – Adelaide in the last 10 years. I’m done. I’m out.
They have never seemed too hard to be honest, but now I get tired thinking about going to the letter box. I told Big Fella that the next time he gets itchy feet he can go for a walk cos I’m cured….
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Ever since i left home at 19 ive relocated to a new city evert 2-3 years (im 24) I firstly moved to Brisband and that was the first BIG move out of home being all independant and learnt alot about myself in the 3 years i was living in Bris away from home i loved it! and then i got bored so decided to move to Perth (have family over here) for a year to save and work in mining to eventually move overseas….I met my now husband in Perth 2 years ago and i had already planned my move Overseas to Canada for a year when i met him and we did long distance for 7 months before he came over and joined me for a few months overseas…
I would say that moving overseas is the best thing you could ever do! i went with a close gf and our bond is closer than ever since that trip and we felt the homesickness and lonliness of not having our friends, families or bfs with us and supported each other through that…i loved liviing overseas as it was like one big holiday for a year i was lucky enough to land a job that paid well in my field of work in canada (Exec Assist) and i was granted a perm job which included holiday leave so was able to go visit other parts of the country and the US during my time it was the best experience of my life!
I got back home this year and moved to melbourne for 6 months before finally relocating back to Perth to settle with my now husband.
We got married on 23 Sept this year and moved into our apartment the week before!!! haha i dont do things by halves bt life is fun and u have to make the most of it and i love travelling and being in different places and i get along with most types of people so ive made friends along the way of my travels…
for the moment tho my nomadic life has stopped..for at least 3 years and then prob move overseas again once more before settling and having children in 5 years time :O)
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Oh god, don’t get me started. Not including the 7 times I moved as a child, as an adult I have moved countless times.
In 5 years I moved from Perth – Brisbane – Townsville – Newcastle – Perth – Brisbane – Bunbury – Perth – Bunbury – Perth.
I’m not moving to Bunbury again!! All of the moves have been for an ex and my current partner. I finally coaxed him up to Perth after he lived in Bunbury for 29 god damn years. And I am never returning. I eventually want to live in Brisbane again. I’d also love to give Melb a go for a year or two.
I love moving!! It’s exciting, a new change, new experience. Gets you out of a rut. Although I know with my bf it will be a struggle seeing as he thinks living 2 hours away from his Mum is a huge thing. *sigh*
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Wow, timely! 6 years ago we moved from Melbourne to QLD, an opportunity came up to buy a business in the line of work my husband had always wanted to be in. Our kids were 4 and 1 at the time, we moved from a 3 bedroom house to a small unit on site at our business where we work 7 days a week. What was I thinking?!! It has been fine but once we sell the business we will be heading back to Melbourne, I’ve made some good friends here but really it hasn’t been “home” for me. We’ve left in Melb 2 great sets of loving grandparents (who are also getting older and needing more support, the two of us are it on that score), cousins, close family friends and we want to be back there with them. On the positive it’s been very bonding for our little family of 4, we’ve had lots of great times with friends who’ve visited, and we absolutely will not die wondering “should we/shouldn’t we”, we gave it a go just as you are doing Bern!
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Got goosebumps. Yep, I think I want that. I want to find my ‘home’.
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I LOVE the move!!!!! I hate the actual process; packing the house, oraganising a new one, new school, change of address etc, but I love the feeling of starting again.
Seven years ago my husband and I thought we were happy, brand new house of our dreams (our forever house), new baby, a work transfer only 20mins from home, all our lifelong friends and family close by. After baby though, things just didnt feel right, I didnt enjoy my work and just wanted to be a stay at home mum. Hubby wasn’t feeling challeneged in his job anymore, so we decided to sell our home, leave our family and friends and move to North Qld (from NSW).
We knew no-one, but that didn’t matter, it was a new start. We made new friends, that became our friends because we had common interests not because we have known them forever, and friends became closer than family.
Since then we have made 2 more moves to very small communities in Central Qld. It has been hard. I have had 3 children with no family around for support, and you often miss out on things because you are so far away. I dont regret one thing about any of the moves. I get a chance to see more of the country and experience things that those lifelong friends that still live in the town we grew up in haven’t.It also shows what you are really made of, with no one to rely on I am constantly amazed at what I can acheive and cope with on my own.
This last move was the hardest, I left great friends and my 2 school aged children found it difficult to settle, so I am hoping to stay put for a few years now .
I am constantly planning our next move…. My dream is overseas, I know it will never be back to the beginning though. I tell everyone who is thinking about it and feels kind of stuck, just do it, you will never loook back.
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Itchy feet syndrome is what I call it. And I’m the one that usually instigates it. Every 4 years or so, but this one has been massive. And far out, it’s not done yet!! Thanks for your story.
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So now you’ve all gone and made me cry. Eighteen months ago we left our life in London and moved (back) to Australia. It was a “back” for me as I am Australian, but it was a whole new world for my husband (a Brit).
We had talked about it for the ten years that we were in London and when we got pregnant with our fourth child, it just seemed like it was now or never.
It has been a struggle. There are times in every day when I am grateful and happy we did it, and then there are times in every day when I panic and think what have I done – to him and to the larger us of our family.
Although Australia is (or was my home) I initially found I missed the familiarity and security of our lives in London. Australia, the final frontier, became terrifyingly hard instead of happily challenging.
Initially I missed my cousins, my mummy friends in Primrose Hill and John Lewis, The little things and the big things. I think in retrospect it was the sense of security and optimism about the present and future that I was longing for the most.
I still long for it. There are moments when I can summon and capture it for a while. Moments when without even realising it, it is there. And moments when it is gone and I just have to drop the kids at school and run home so they don’t see mummy have a panic attack.
When my anxiety escalates to Stress-Con 1 I try to remember the little things:
- a holiday at the beach with the Australian contingent of cousins and old friends, cooking and playing board games together, all of our children learning to swim together;
- a slideshow of the photos my grandfather took in the sixties when he travelled Europe with my grandmother. My grandpa, Appappa, doesn’t really talk to any one now, he’s old. But in his youth: he explored the world; he took photos of my beautiful Ammamma, posing like a movie star by the Trevi Fountain, he loved to read Readers Digest and PG Wodehouse books, and he laughed until he cried at British comedies. I hope and pray that my children, his great-grandchildren, will remember him, even just a little.
- The hair on my children’s backs (hirsuteness being part of a rich genetic heritage) bleaching in the sun, their naked bodies revealing the swimming costume marks that are like permanent tattoos now.
-The weekly play dates I have with childhood friends who knew me before I knew my blackberry. We pretend we organise these play dates for our children, but I need them more than our offspring.
-Watching husband go to Bunnings for a pack of screws and come back with a power drill that apparently converts into anything your heart desires.
- Eating Ice Magic with my children and teaching them all the different ways I used to eat it with my brother.
Moving into our new house, our first real home together and watching the children’s delight as they claimed their castle, my husband’s pride as he claimed his.
And so the list goes on and the panic subsides.
Our lives still feel uncertain and insecure here. I feel like Captain Kirk: Australia, the final frontier. Actually, I’ve always felt more like Mr Spock: nerdy, unusual eyebrows and poor social skills. Even Mr Spock explored and enjoyed new worlds. I am counting the little things because it’s the little things that count – the small joys and victories of our new life here are accumulating into the big things, slowly but surely.
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Stress con one. Excellent. Thanks and I think we all have diff levels at which we basically crap our pants, reconsider our decisions, but man, what an interesting life you have and will have lived. Thanks xx
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I loved this, your ‘little things’ – magical.
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We moved countries a few years ago. His family lives there, mine here. We’d lived there since before we married. We talked about moving all the time, but he said the timing wasn’t right. One day, he told his family we were moving here. We hadn’t talked about it for a while. There was little to stop me once I took over and got us moving. We are happier here than ever. I love being close to my family. I am pretty sure he loves being far away from his.
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I love your writing Bern, LOVE.
Last time we moved it was from a rented place down the road to a place we bought. Since it was a total of 500m away, we vastly underestimated how long it would take and how many trips we would need to make (doesn’t everyone?). It was so exhausting since we have a steep driveway and lots of stairs. We’ll definitely be hiring movers next time!
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xx And yes, we have culled the shit out of everything we owned. Basically one trailer load is all that is on its way down here. And I’m actually quite happy about that. Means I can go back op-shopping on missions for things. x
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We are just about to move my Mother out of our house/family farm, she has been there for… wait for it… 5 GENERATIONS! Thats right, home has been home to 5 generations of our family. I always always thought it would be there for me, and I had every reason to expect it. But life goes on and Mum wants a bigger farm further west – thats right she wants MORE acres to look after and wants to be FURTHER from town in her old age! Crazy but true.
Anyway, I do have a point, can you just imagine having to move 5 generations worth of stuff accummulated? Oh and the farm has 4 houses, which we & our workers have all lived in… So thats 5 generations of stuff and 4 houses to move!
How do you feel now? Better?
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Yes, You Win!!! Good luck with it x
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My hubby and I moved away from all our family and friends in Sydney to Hobart, Tasmania 5 years ago. My hubby was offered a once in 20 years opportunity at CSIRO and I was only working on a temporary contract so we thought why not! I was pregnant with our first baby at the time so I didn’t look for work when we first arrived and it was quite lonely and difficult to meet people. We’ve found it hard to settle into a smaller place where everyone seems to have been the same group of friends since primary school and isn’t open to extending their circle of friends to include outsiders. Thank god for mother’s group is all I can say – without this brilliant bunch of girls I would have had a breakdown years ago and run back to my Mum & Dad with my tail between my legs.
Moving interstate can be great but it can also be really hard and lonely and I miss my friends back in Sydney so much it hurts. Everyone keeps saying things will get easier once our kids start school and I just hope so much that they do. It would be nice to not feel like the new kid on the block for a change!
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We did the same thing as you Holly, we moved to Hobart from Sydney in 2003, knew no one – and I didn’t have a job to go to. Have since had 2 children and have made great friendships via other mums.I agree it is hard for outsiders to break in – and every one knows everyone else! but Hobart is so easy to live in with Kids, can’t imagine living 5 minutes from the beach in Sydney!
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It’s a funny old place sometimes isn’t it Fiona! But you’re so right about the lifestyle. Every time we visit Sydney the traffic is worse, the queues are worse and the noise is worse! I do love living in a rural area with cows in the paddock over the hill, only 12 km from the city centre, a 30 minute drive in peak hour traffic. We could never have had our own home or such a relaxed lifestyle in Sydney and I’m so glad my kids will get to grow up here instead of in a 2 bedroom high-rise flat in a concrete jungle