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Fortune teller 380x419 No, you decide: why were exhausted by choice

 

My brain is generally spent by the time I arrive at work. By 8am I’ve already made some 150 odd micro-decisions, many of which I never knew my brain was computing while making the mad dash for the trains. Do I cross the road on the flashing red man or wait until it goes green again? Which ticket turnstile should I head through? Without an inkling of self-awareness my brain is framing the thriving mass of commuters as they disembark from the train, calculating the path of least resistance up the stairs.

There are two escalators leading from my train station and each morning I take the one that suits me most. Each morning before I even know it my brain has analysed the flow on each and decided ahead of time which one I should head up.

If I don’t make the decision then I’ll just end up head-butting a wall or something for eternity. There’s no ducking it.

No wonder I’m tired.

1000.

That’s how many decisions the average person makes every day. It might be as innocuous as deciding which pair of shoes flatters your outfit or it might be a decision to invade another country. If you’re the leader of a nation, it could well be both. In the same day. Think about every decision you make every day. Really think. Because most of them will take place in the fascinating periphery of your consciousness. And they wear you down.

Decision fatigue is not a fancy name for a fancy story. It exists and it’s been documented. A study of Israeli parole judges found that prisoners were more likely to get paroled early in the day and far, far less likely at the end. Only morning teas and lunches helped stem the tide of tiredness that these decision-makers must have been feeling.

John Tierney wrote about the phenomenon in the New York Times Magazine:

decisions 380x228 No, you decide: why were exhausted by choice

Should I wear clogs today?

“Decision fatigue helps explain why ordinarily sensible people get angry at colleagues and families, splurge on clothes, buy junk food at the supermarket and can’t resist the dealer’s offer to rustproof their new car. No matter how rational and high-minded you try to be, you can’t make decision after decision without paying a biological price. It’s different from ordinary physical fatigue — you’re not consciously aware of being tired — but you’re low on mental energy. The more choices you make throughout the day, the harder each one becomes for your brain, and eventually it looks for shortcuts, usually in either of two very different ways. One shortcut is to become reckless: to act impulsively instead of expending the energy to first think through the consequences. (Sure, tweet that photo! What could go wrong?) The other shortcut is the ultimate energy saver: do nothing. Instead of agonizing over decisions, avoid any choice. Ducking a decision often creates bigger problems in the long run, but for the moment, it eases the mental strain. You start to resist any change, any potentially risky move — like releasing a prisoner who might commit a crime. So the fatigued judge on a parole board takes the easy way out, and the prisoner keeps doing time.”

Marketers and advertisers know this. That’s why the chocolate is at the supermarket check-out and not when you walk in. You can gird your budgeted loins as much as you want at the beginning of the shop but the myriad little decisions between entry and exit erode your defences. And all the research tells us that it probably helps to get a sugar hit.

Honestly, who could resist? Not many.

There are other theories – they are interesting but still just theories – that blame decision fatigue for keeping the poor, poor. They make so many more decisions just to budget food every week that their brains are too tired to commit wholeheartedly to further education or jobs that may lift them out of poverty.

A micro-example: if you had all the money you wanted, the only decisions in a supermarket shop would be what you wanted to buy and eat. But those who are on strict budgets must decide what they want, what they can afford, what they need and which versions they can shuffle in and out. High quality, low quality. For every item. It’s exhausting.

Is choice tiring you? Where to eat, what to do, what to say?

What decisions do you hate making?

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106 Comments so far

  1. Silvers

    I was thinking about commenting on this article, then I wasn’t so sure.

    I am horrible at making decisions. I don’t know if I fear my decisions will have some kind of ramification (deciding on wearing a black work jacket to the office could have disastrous consequences afterall, imagine if someone else is wearing one too) or if I’m just ill-equipped to handle the pressure of potentially getting something wrong, even if it is a micro-choice.

    I also hate struggling to reach a conclusion only to question myself after if I made the right choice… and don’t get me started on food envy.

    I’m trying to learn to just make a choice that feels right at the time and know that there are many kinds of perfect.

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  2. peppy

    Ugh! I am a terrible decision maker. So terribly indecisive. I am definitely going to blame decision fatigue on my stress/tiredness levels in future!!

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  3. girly

    Just discovered the Woolworths app for iPhone. It is genius. Lots of recipes, and you can just add the ingredients to your shopping list! Has a barcode scanner so you can scan your empty items, and then it tells you what isle the product is in in your local Woollies! :)

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  4. chellebelle

    I am so thankful that I am a great decision maker. I don’t find decision making stressful, I rarely agonise over any decision, and I make decisions quickly and easily. I think it’s because my mum is the world’s worst (and least independent) decision maker. Don’t “they” say you either turn out opposite to your parents or exactly like them?!

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  5. kath

    I am so sick of making decisions about what meals to cook each week. With a family of five and a fairly strict budget I’m constantly looking for new ways to cook with cheap cuts of meat and find meals the whole family enjoy that either don’t have meat at all or use bacon. With the price of fresh vegetables these days its not necessarily even the meat meals that are too dear to cook. I’ve started my own veggie garden but even then I have to make the decisions of what to grow at what time of year. I would love just one single day of not having to make decisions.

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  6. margimacdonald

    The best thing I ever did was toss out the telly during a recent house move, and my radio stays on ABC Classic FM all day.
    No yapping voices and spruiked opinions, and best of all… no advertising. TV and radio are potentially THE most pernicious sappers of mind-power, closely followed by social media.
    I don’t buy or read much print media either, so my exposure to advertising is markedly reduced across the board.
    It’s liberating and refreshing.

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  7. Anonymous

    I can’t stand shopping for fruit and veg, I can never remember what’s in season and the different varieties of everything confuses me (is it the imperial or murcott mandarins that have less seeds????). The I discovered my local fruit and veg shop has a clearance bench. This reduces the choice from the whole shop down to a table from which I pick what fruit/veg I like, what isn’t past it (usually avocados that are far too soft and garlic that’s already sprouting) and what the other family members like. It then has the follow on effect of making the dinner decisions easier, the ingredients I’ve bought inspire the recipe instead of the recipe dictating what ingredients need to be bought. Soemtimes I think the people working there must think I’m the crazy woman who raids the discount table every couple of days, but it makes the decision making soooo much easier that I don’t care :)

    I also do this with clothes, I feel so overwhelmed in depatment and chain stores so I go to op-shops instead. Once the clothes of poor quality, wrong size, wrong colour, unflattering cut have been eliminated there is not much left to choose from and the decision has been made for me. I loathe going into regular stores where I have to choose between clothes with tiny differences and I often suffer buyers remorse (“i should have bought the longer top in green instead”).

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  8. Flutterby

    I have no problem making decisions. I kinda do this for a living. What I do hate is after the research or clear minded vision I have is that I can’t find the product at the store. It’s not because it’s not made, it’s because it’s not stocked.

    We have to shop between 3 stores at the moment because a single one does not carry what we like to buy. I’m not talking about weird, exotic food either. I’m talking about muesli bars and cheese for goodness sake.

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  9. nursemim

    I can never decide on eggs. Cage free obviously, but even then too much choice. Free range organic are too expensive, barn eggs or free range are usually th go, but what size, brand etc? Too hard.

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    • Petal

      700gram free range. Don’t look for anything else.

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  10. Mel

    Thanks so much for this article Rick!

    I always take it one step further and worry about whether i’ve made the right decision. I’m also really focused on those minute decisions (e.g. which conditioning treatment will I use today- you cannot use protein treatments too many days in a row, is it time for another cup of tea? If I have tea now will I feel unwell at yoga?). I’m very details oriented. I also find myself spending way too much time thinking about how my decisions will affect others and sometimes I tend to think a little too much in the long term. I don’t like to cut corners. I find it hard to see where I could cut corners and to be more efficient. I like to do things really well and that involves more decisions.

    I definitely have experienced that fatigue at the shops- even to the point where I was nearly in tears one day. I didn’t have a clear list and didn’t know what to make for dinner. I think I made a beeline for the check out. When I got to my car I thought i’m going crazy, I got so overwhelmed that I just nearly cried at the shops.

    The only downside to doing things the same way every day is that your brain pathways can get lazy and so every now and then it can be good to do something out of routine or to learn a new skill. Also, I think having confidence in yourself can reduce the anxiety associated with decision making.

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  11. dkmum

    Anything meal based… I just can’t do it

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  12. cleo

    I loathe buying toothbrushes as there are too many to choose from. When I return at a later date to replace the one I finally chose, they have been superseded by another model/run out of stock and the whole process starts again. Now that I have discovered Costco, I have streamlined the whole process – less to choose from and the ones that you do choose come in bulk packets. The time I save is incredible let alone the angst which is no more.

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  13. missb

    What to order in a restaurant.

    Then when I decide I wonder if I should have ordered something else.

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  14. Blaser

    With heaps of choices, I am truly racked with indecision.

    I am tired of it eg. I go back to the same shop twice for something insignificant like a cupcake wrapper design. I should have just bought it the first time or two varieties and not wasted another day getting there to spend more time in the shop!

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  15. Megan

    I thought I was the only one who got cranky when the boyfriend says ‘u decide what we do/eat I’m not fussed’… It’s decision fatigue! Makes sense really as this shortened fuse hits usually toward the end of the day (ie. Dinner time).

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  16. Mummathree

    What to wear every single day!!!!

    It’s lame but we moved to north QLD, I just had my 3rd baby so nothing really fits me or is great for this climate, so ever morning I stand staring at my clothes trying to decide…..do I buy bigger sizes o then loose it again…oh the decisions….I’m tired!!!!

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  17. qwerty

    I’m terrible when it comes to having too many choices. Especially when buying any kind of electrical appliance (one time the sales lady actually told me to ”please go home and decide” as I was ”testing her patience!”). When choosing my engagement ring…it took me forever to decide on the right one (yup we went and did this together), when choosing between brands, I’m hopeless.

    Then after I’ve made a choice, I always think ”oh maybe I should’ve chosen the other one!” It drives my husband nuts!

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  18. Benita (MissBenben)

    One of the reasons I adore living in Bumfuck Nowhereville is that “choice” is not a word we use a lot out here. Shopping is a breeze: there is one brand of toothpaste to choose from, one type of apple, one checkout…if you love choice, this place will kill you, but for me, it’s liberating to not have to spend 15 minutes trying to decide what toothpaste to buy. I’ve noticed in the 12 months I’ve been out of the city and back here in sleepy old Bumfuck, my anxiety levels have significantly decreased. I think too much choice is absolutely an added stress. Sure, variety may be nice, but so is sanity :)
    Oh how I love my little town….

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  19. Anonymous

    all the stories today seem to be coming from New York Times. Should I read that instead?

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  20. skiptomylou

    I used to be indecisive, but now I’m not so sure…

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    • Mel2

      LOVE that comment!! :)

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  21. Free

    I definitely like it when I end up at one of those restaurants that does one thing and one thing only.

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  22. katherine anne

    This is why I was so excited to find a really good clothes boutique near my new place. It has a very small but well-edited collection of clothes that mostly suit my figure, as well as a nice collection of shoes, handbags and accessories. I can go in there, find one thing that I like, and walk out without feeling overwhelmed or exhausted.
    Another thing they do in London (where I live) is they have mini-supermarkets, e.g. Tesco Metro or Sainsburys Express. There is generally one in each suburb, and they are fantastic because they only stock ONE brand of each item. When you walk down the pasta aisle, there is one brand of pasta sauce in a few different flavours, there is one brand of stock cube and one brand of orange juice. I love it!
    Actually, come to think of it, I’ve been making a lot less micro-decisions since moving to the UK.

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  23. Anonymous

    Supermarket decisions drive me nuts! I just want to buy the product but each line of products have so so many choices! Which cheese, bread, milk, yoghurt, stock, sauce, biscuit…….everything you can think of!!! unit pricing has helped wtih some products though

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  24. MelGardener

    Rick – help! I can’t decide if I like this story or not. You choose…

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  25. Anonymous

    Usually I worry about little stuff but my biggest decision is whether to have a child as a single and over 40s woman. It’s stressing me out immensely as obviously I would rather bring up a child in a family unit. It’s heartbreaking that I might have to do this solo. Trying to weigh up all pros and cons. My age is now against me too. :-(

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    • Anonymous

      Go for it! You only get one life, make it a happy one.

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    • Girly

      DO IT.

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    • Anonymous

      I am completely in the same situation (turned 40 a couple of weeks ago). I even started taking folate tablets last week just in case I decide to try – just need to meet someone really quickly, take the plunge and go it alone or else let go of the idea totally, but I am so undecided…

      Good luck with your decision and wherever it leads you x

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  26. jb expat

    I often feel that the internet has made this even more true – all the reviews/opinions to read on whatever you are thinking about buying/doing/visiting/using; all the sites to research for best price – and it goes on & on (and for those of us who are a bit more compulsive to begin with…it is so tiring!)

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  27. Bradley

    God ! I hate smorgasbords !

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  28. aleous

    This is why I love going to restaurants that have a tapas/mezze/banquet menu. That way you get a bit of everything without having to make a decision on which meal you want. God forbid I choose the wrong thing and get food envy when my dinner companions’ choice looks better than mine when the meals get to the table!

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  29. Sdot

    When you are a stay at home parent, particularly with a newborn, you definitely get decision fatigue. “I need to go to the shops. When should I go? When is the baby’s next feed due? Do I want to feed at home or in the manky baby change room? How many nappies will I need? Is it going to rain? What the hell do we need from the supermarket?” etc etc. I found it exhausting.

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    • Anon

      I had the opposite happen when I was at home with my first. I was living in a massive fog and can’t really remember making a decision about anything. I remember once biting into a block of raw noodles for breakfast because they were on the table so that’s what I was having for breakfast. Strange times.

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      • Petal

        Yes, two hours of sleep a night will do that to a person.

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  30. Bradley

    I’d like to say a couple of things about this topic…as soon as I decide which are the most salient.

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  31. Sindi

    My husband and his family are notoriously bad at making decisions! Most of the family live in a major city in the UK and just getting them to decide HOW to get somewhere is a monumental task. Don’t even get me started on how long it takes them to decide where to eat.
    My husband finds minor decisions the most difficult – what shall I give the kids for breakfast, what shall I dress the kids in, what will we have for dinner – it drives me crazy. I just want to scream, “Make a bloody choice, it’s not rocket science!!” And it’s not like he does those things every day, he only has to do them occasionally so it cannot, simply cannot, be THAT hard. Rant over.

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  32. Bassbassgirl

    Oh, I get it now! Coles and woolworths aren’t trying to screw the producers and consumers by replacing a wide variety of brands with there own versions, they are actually trying help us by relieving decision fatigue! If we go into a store and there is only one brand of everything then we dont have to make a choice! (and silly me thought a duopoly was a bad thing…)

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  33. Mish

    I read a fascinating book called “The Paradox of Choice” by Barry Schwartz. He says that the amount of choice we have now paralyzes us and makes us dissatisfied rather than happier. You can watch him speak at a TED conference here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VO6XEQIsCoM
    Well worth watching.

    Oh and the things I really hate having to decide about are the simple things like shopping- seriously I became vegan for 8 years partially because I got sick of having to sort through 50 different brands of milk/ eggs!

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  34. Von

    oh my gosh, I got engaged last month and am already overwhelmed by the number of options available for anything related to organising a wedding.
    The internet is such a blessing and a curse!

    I also love the bookstore Kinokuniya, but find it overwhelming when I just want to browse – they just have soo many books to choose from which is actually a fantastic thing but becomes so difficult for me!

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    • InKL

      I love Kinokuniya! Best book store ever.

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    • Grace

      I think all the choice with weddings is really difficult. I’m planning on setting up a business with a website that does the shopping around for you and just offers a set price and you just chose the venue, decor, cake ect you like and it’s all done.

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  35. Latarche

    When I first meet my boyfriend I explain to him that I do not make decisions on Saturday’s. It is my one day off per week. A consequence of this is eating what he decides to make or purchase, seeing the movie he decides on etc. But for my sanity it is so worth it! I just can’t handle making decisions on Saturday after making so many of them day in day out at work and at home.

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    • Rick Morton

      That’s a really interesting concept. Maybe I should try it…

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      • Latarche

        It does take some self contol. The bf occasionally makes a decision on a Saturday that I don’t like… didn’t actually feel like eggs for breakfast or whatever but overall works really well for my sanity.

        I have been know to narrow the decision for him. For example he will say we are getting take-away for dinner. I will say brilliant but not Chinese. He always laughs when I do it but at least I veto the one thing I don’t feel like….

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  36. Simone

    I blame my star sign. We Librans are notoriously bad decision makers!

    I read once Buddhists recommend you travel to work/school the same way every day. Don’t mix it up. Less decisions make for a calmer mind.

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    • Rick Morton

      I do that, always the same way. But the minute details of that journo still stress me out. I hate walking behind people so I’m always planning zigzag routes around and through crowds of people. Always. Can’t stop it.

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      • Oh, the curse of slow-walkers…they should be deported or something…

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        • Anonymous

          And wonky walkers too! You know the ones who slowly meander all about the footpath just enough so you can’t get past them without looking like a crazy angry impatient person!!

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    • Aleous

      I use the good old ‘but I’m a Libran’ line at least once a month when I can’t make up my mind about things!

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    • Friday

      I always drive to the shops one particular way and then a different way home. It ridiculously upsets me if my husband is driving and he goes a different way!

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  37. dani

    I am the absolute shocker when it comes to making decisions (it drives my familty crazy, so much so that my sister said not to go near her when I start looking to buy my own place). Top indecisive purchases…

    1. 6 months to decide on what type of car I wanted to buy
    2. 3 weeks to decide which debit card to get (including a spreadsheet of the accounts fees etc)
    3. 4 weeks to choose a paint colour for my bedroom
    4. 20mins at the supermarket staring at the tins of pineapple (juice or syrup, sliced or chunks)!

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  38. dani

    I am the absolute shocker when it comes to making decisions (it drives my familty crazy, so much so that my sister said not to go near her when I start looking to buy my own place). Top indecisive purchases…

    1. 6 months to decide on what type of car I wanted to buy
    2. 3 weeks to decide which debit card to get (including a spreadsheet of the accounts fees etc)
    3. 4 weeks to choose a paint colour for my bedroom
    4. 20mins at the supermarket staring at the tins of pineapple (juice or syrup, sliced or chunks)!

    I like to make sure I make the right decisions (yes the pineapple might have been slightly excessive!)

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  39. halliday

    It really is true that you need to practice making decisions quickly. My ex-husband couldn’t make a decision to save his life. If we’d decided we wanted take-away, he would NOT come up with a decision on what he wanted, ever. He was crippled with indecision. It permeated through everything, so that I had to be the chief decision maker throughout our whole marriage. It’s wearing, unfair, and was a major contributor to why he’s now an EX husband. LOL
    The really interesting part is what he did when we split. All of a sudden he had to make decisions on his own and WHOAH were they some doozies. He made choices like he was a 14 year old boy. His decision making growth had been stunted there apparently. I’d say it was when he started having an opinion on stuff, but had someone in his life make him feel he wasn’t entitled to that opinion. It was fascinating (and heartbreaking) to watch. Especially the decisions that impacted our kids :(
    I live by the rule that I’d rather decide and wear the consequences, than fret about what might never happen.

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  40. cos

    I so desperately need a new wardrobe but I HATE the thought of walking around shops trying to choose from the racks and racks of clothes. I like fashion, I have the money to buy what I need but once I get to the shops I get overwhelmed with the choice, comparing prices etc, etc.

    I am so over making choices that when my washing machine recently died I phoned a local white goods supplier and quoted them my credit card number and told them to choose a new machine for me – as long as it was energy efficient and a top loader and have it delivered by a certain date.

    Dinner decisions drive me nuts too (as mentioned below). I got around this by only shopping for the main grocery shop once a month, buying and dividing meat in bulk and freezing it. It means on a week to week basis I only have to buy fruit/vege, bread and milk.

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    • Simba

      Totally agree with you on the cloths buying front. I find the massive shopping centres that exist now (ie Bondi Junction size) make me stressed and overwhelmed and most times I end up walking out with nothing as a result. I personally don’t think Westfield et al are doing themselves a favour with their model they use for shopping centres.

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      • Anonymous

        Online shopping!! Get your measurements and hit the the o/s department stores (have a love for nordstrom, though the shipping is a bit on the expensive side) or even Country Road here in Oz.

        All the joy without the pain!

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  41. girly

    Sometimes I get excited by choice. I am in the process of making a gift for my partner (drawings) and I have been choosing designs to draw. So far: Spiderman and Batman symbols, and his fave footy team logo (Wests Tigers)

    Any more ideas? :)

    Or deciding what moves to put into a routine with my dance partner for an upcoming competition.

    Less exciting is what food to eat for lunch or dinner, just very annoying!

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    • Rick Morton

      Man, you seem to live the most interesting life! You’re always doing something different!

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      • girly

        Haha cheers Rick! :D I am always up for a new adventure.

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    • chellebelle

      what sort of dancing do you do?

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      • girly

        Rock N Roll and Swing. :) I did it competitively from about 11 till I was 14, but then gave up and just danced socially. A bit rusty but picking it back up again.

        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8t-b8n6V-dc

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        • chellebelle

          that looks like so much fun. I bet it’s good for fitness! Were you the young one in that clip?

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          • girly

            It is awesome fun. I am not in that clip, but I do dance with those guys :)

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  42. acanberramum

    The accepted wisdom has long been that more choice equals empowerment, but this is not always the case – for individuals and for society.

    What actually seems to happen is that we all get caught up in the bazillions of unimportant decisions which clog up our lives, completely missing the really important ones. Like how we want to live our lives – our whole lives, not the day to day, what sort of society we want to live in and contribute to and who we need to care about and for.

    I would rather we focus on creating a better health care system for everyone than which of the 30 different available toothpastes or hand sanitisers are best. I would rather we focus on developing efficient, reliable public transport than worrying about which route will get me where I’m going fastest. I would rather we focus on good educational opportunities for everyone than worrying about which private school waiting lists I should be putting my 1 year old on.

    People who are in a position to choose really are lucky (everyone else shops at Aldi where there is just one option, has a single pair of shoes to wear and sends their kids to the local primary school) but maybe the real choice should be to worry about the big picture.

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  43. luckyducky

    This succinctly explains why I have the same thing for lunch every single day. I like the taste, I know it’s healthy and I just can’t make the effort to think of something else!

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  44. Christy

    And that is precisely why I won’t buy from a certain sandwich fast food chain, too many choices… what bread? what cheese? what salad? what sauce?
    I don’t care….

    I had to buy laminate for my new kitchen a couple of years ago. I knew I wanted black. I went to the shop. Looked for about 2 minutes, picked up a black chip and gave it to the guy. He looked VERY confused, most people take over an hour…. I truly don’t care, as long as its close enough that’s good enough for me.

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  45. Jess In Melbourne

    This is interesting – I’m always one for a bargain, but my father isn’t. He often says “is it worth the effort?”

    His point is – that his time and effort, is worth more than the $$ saved?

    He is in a comfortable financial position – which would help. But he’d never consider what brand of bread to get, he’d just pick up one and go with it, while I consider every factor of price, use-by date, ingredients etc etc..

    When I moved out I was the consummate bargainer – but it really is EXHAUSTING!

    Now I get it – I don’t care what bread I get – just get me whatever and let me care about one less goddamn decision!

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    • Rick Morton

      I say this to my friends all the time and it SOUNDS really conceited but, to be honest, my time IS really valuable to me. I can’t put a price on it exactly but it is a lot. If I can save time and mental energy when shopping, I’m going to do it because I have more important things I’d rather make decisions on. It’s all about the trade-off for me.

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      • Yep – time-management and decision making go hand in hand…extremely symbiotic relationship…learning what decisions need more of your time than others is such an important life-skill…

        You know, the software development team I work for practices “agile development”…basically, this means only worrying about what we can fit into 4-week iterations…we don’t worry about the entire software release…I think you can apply the same thinking to your own life…don’t try and plan your whole life…just plan for what you know is coming up in the next few weeks…if you try and plan longer than that, circumstances will keep changing and you’ll need to re-think decisions you have made over and over again…

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    • girly

      I am like your Dad. I get an idea in my head and run with it. Drove my ex nuts, who loved to trawl through prices, brands, sizes, every little nitpicky thing until I went insane. JUST BUY THE DAMN THING! He would want to take weeks to compare everything. To save a few dollars?

      I walked into the Good Guys on Sunday, spoke to the salesman, saw the TV I liked and bought it. $390 and a new TV for my room. Done deal.

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    • eternally

      I understand where your Dad is coming from, but I tend to do a bit both ways. When I needed a painter, I got 2 to come out and give me a quote, one never got back to me, so decision made! My Mum would be horrified I didn’t get 3 quotes, but the amount of money saved couldn’t be that much, and it would have meant more travel & time waiting for them for me (also being heavily pregnant didn’t help).
      On the other hand, at the supermarket I love to get things on special, and buy extras to stock up the pantry, even if they weren’t on the list that week. I guess in my mind, that doesn’t take too much extra time.
      I think it is very true about the impact of wealth, or lack thereof; the tighter the budget you are on, the more careful you have to be with your choices.

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    • alnmum

      A colleague once said to me that people generally have either time or money. For example, you would have the time to go out of town to buy an item and save some money or you are time poor, so have the money to pay a bit extra but not the time to travel. I have no idea what to do if you have neither!

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  46. Lauren

    I am really sick of deciding what to cook for dinner everynight. Its doing my head in to come up with new ideas and not cook the same regular meals all the time. Blah…..

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    • Rick Morton

      Oh sing it sister! I’m so with you there. The irony of this all is that the evidence shows good food helps your brain replenish its energy levels … so it could be a vicious cycle!

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    • Rudyroo

      Oh I hear you sister! I Loathe planning and making dinner…loathe it. Like…really despise it. I would rather scoop out my own eyeballs!
      Can. Not. Stand. It.
      And i think it’s mostly because you have to decide what to have, what will everyone eat, will it balance out nutritionally around other meals, have I got the ingredients…blah blah blah. Over it.

      In saying that, I’m proud of myself today as I have a plan for tonight’s dinner already. And it will all cook in the rice cooker. Yay!

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    • Lauren

      Glad to hear I am not alone.

      And what makes it worse, when I ask the man what he wants its always ‘i dont care whatever you want’…… AHHHHHHHHHH

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      • Anonymous

        I absolutely hate deciding on what’s for dinner. Only because all the effort I put into planning tasty and healthy meals for the kids, shopping for all the food and then the cooking and cleaning up is usually ruined by one or all 3 kids complaining about it or just not eating it! At least my husband eats it all and never ever complains!

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        • Lana

          That is my worst part about dinner. The deciding what to cook. I would happily cook ANYTHING if someone just said “tonight make THIS”. and then they actually ate what I had cooked

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          • acanberramum

            Lana, if tonight you made any of your slow cooker meals, I would happily eat them :)

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    • Sparky

      Funny, deciding what to cook for dinner is one of my favourite decisions of the day. Most of the other decisions I make in a given day are usually pretty on-the-spot, tricky with far-reaching consequence.

      I also like deciding NOT to cook dinner and having vegemite on toast with a cup of tea.

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    • carolinehutchison

      I agree! it gets to that time of the day and you’ve got to start thinking about it. Very rarely is it something exciting cos you don’t have all the ingredients at home.

      I’m going to try menu planning for a month or so to see if it makes things easier. hopefully half an hour a week picking 5 recipes will help – nothing especially out of the ordinary, but things I know everyone will eat. Might save some money, and all those extra token trips to the supermarket.

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    • Petal

      Oh yeah, I hear you on that one. That’s why every Wednesday morning I sit down and plan what we are having for the next seven days. I write it on a mini white board on the fridge (it fell out of the Women’s Weekly a few months ago and now I can’t live without it) so then the kids don’t ask anymore, they just look at the planner. I go shopping and buy what’s on the list and that’s it. I don’t go back to the supermarket for another seven days (milk and bread come from Aussie Farmers Direct.)

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      • Ash

        I menu plan also – makes it much easier! I note down our Indian food days, so my boyfriend knows he has to cook, and the problem is solved.

        Frozen fish, frozen veg, and a myriad of pulses for daal make my life all sorts of easy!

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      • Shouldbedoinghousework

        That 7 day menu plan is so going to start happening in my place!
        I love Aldi for their lack of choice. If you want loo paper, you have 3 choices, not 300 where you know that the big brands are trying to trick you into buying some plush smelly roll 8 ply but then you find it only has 45 sheets per roll……sorry, rant over!

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        • Petal

          I agree. Similarly, I shop at our local IGA. It is smaller and the prices are comparable. Everytime I do my weekly shop at Coles, I swear I spend $50 more than I usually do.

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    • Tripitaka

      I hate thinking about this too, even though I love cooking. I think this is one of the worst decisions because it happens every single day, and no matter what you do, the decision making is back again the next day. And of course, it often results in extreme frustration after all the effort has been put in to make something healthy and yummy that the kids will eat, and then they don’t! Other bigger decisions, like moving house, require more planning, but once it’s done, it’d done.

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    • alnmum

      with apologies to those who are offended by the language. Try this site: whatthefuckshouldimakefordinner.com

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  47. www.josiesjuice.blogspot.com

    The choice that is tiring me? Working and juggling twins and family life. Thing is, I am mostly happy with my choices. I now choose to not sweat the small stuff. It’s just not worth it. My new thing is: will it matter next year, next week, tomorrow, in an hour even? If the answer is no… I just move along – to the next thing to ‘worry’ about…

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    • Rick Morton

      I like that attitude :)

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    • Punkernickle

      My yardstick for the last five or so years has been “Am I going to be worrying about this on my deathbed?”.

      The answer’s usually no.

      Makes my life a lot easier!

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    • acanberramum

      I agree completely. I reckon that a lot of the time (for people who can afford to choose at least), it’s not the choice itself that is exhausting, it’s worrying about what we are or might be missing out on by making a particular decision that’s exhausting.

      It’s why I don’t get caught up reading too many travel guides when I go somewhere – enjoy what you are seeing, don’t focus on what you could have seen :)

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  48. I think this all could be true…I earn way more than I spend, so I never really think about what I’m buying…my trip to the supermarket takes about 5 minutes and I never impulse buy…

    Same with any shopping I do…do I really need this? Yes or no…probably explains why I still don’t own a tie, a car, a microwave, a mobile phone or tablet computer…

    I hate being indecisive about anything…I decided long ago that it’s better to make a decision quickly and live with the consequences rather that mull things over to the point of doing nothing…if you make the wrong decision, you fix it later…what I’ve found is, the more you do this, the better you get at making good decisions quickly..

    But then again, I do suffer from privilege…I can afford to make mistakes.

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    • Rick Morton

      I can’t always afford it, but I would prefer to pay for things than have to make decisions. I am always, always mentally exhausted. It’s like a fog.

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      • Maybe I should become your life-coach!

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  49. Rudyroo

    Yes, finally, a name for it! I will have to have my husband read this. I’ve being trying to get through to him that I just cannot make all his decisions for him. That it is extremely fatiguing. Especially when I’m not well and fatigued to start with and make the decisions for the kids as well. That occaisonly I need him to make the odd decision for the family. Whew, a label for it, he likes labels, perhaps this will make him understand.

    As for the sales reliance on decision fatigue, if I’m flustered, tired or can’t think straight then I just say no. No mtter how good the deal sounds. Best way around the problem, saves on some silly decisions.

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    • rainbow

      like times 1000.

      sometimes i just want my husband to make one small decision without me being involved!!!!!!

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    • Punkernickle

      YES! What is it with men not being able to make their own decisions? The other day my BF asked me how to deal with something… that happens to be his area of expertise that other people pay him to figure out for them!!

      WTF?

      Maybe he had decision fatigue…

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      • girly

        Sometimes I get so tired I try to read an email at work and my eyes glaze over the words. I realize I took nothing in and have no idea what the email is about and don’t care.

        Perhaps this is what happened to him. Your brain just kind of switches itself off….

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