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fertility 380x569 7 things you didnt know about your (and his) fertility.

7 things you didn’t know about fertility.

 

 

 

 

 

 

It is National Fertility Week! Doesn’t that sound like a good time. Is there an egg and sperm logo? There should be, dammit.

To celebrate, we sat down with Ms Stephanie Francis from the Fertility Coalition and asked her to tell us everything we might not know.

by STEPHANIE FRANCIS

1.     This is when to have sex if you want to get pregnant

Two thirds of Australian men and women who have responded to surveys, didn’t know when in a woman’s cycle they should have sex if they wanted to conceive.

So, if you’re among the two thirds, the most fertile time in a woman’s cycle is the two days leading up to ovulation and the day of ovulation. You calculate your ovulation day by subtracting 14 days from the estimated start of your next period (so you need to know the average length of your cycle). If you have a 28-day cycle, your most fertile time would be days 12-14. You can find an ovulation calculator at www.yourfertility.org.au

2.     Being overweight can affect your chances of getting pregnant

Women who are overweight or obese have less chance overall of getting pregnant than women of a healthy weight (with ‘healthy’ defined as having a body mass index – or BMI – of between 20 and 25). Overweight and obese women are also more likely to take longer than a year to conceive.

Being obese (BMI of more than 30) can cause pregnancy and birth complications, such as hypertension and pre-eclampsia. Being overweight or obese in pregnancy also has implications for your baby’s health later on, as children born to overweight or obese mothers are more likely to become obese children and adults – with associated health problems (including fertility issues). The good news is that if you’re overweight or obese and planning to try for a baby, losing even a few kilos can increase your chances of getting pregnant.

3.     A man’s weight can affect his fertility

Overweight and obese men have worse sperm quality than men of healthy weight. Being overweight or obese can also cause hormonal changes in men that reduce fertility and make them less interested in sex. Men who are very overweight are also more likely to have problems getting an erection. Taken together, all these factors add up to less chance of a man who is overweight or obese fathering a child.

4.     Smoking women reach menopause earlier than non-smoking women.

They also find it harder to get pregnant, with women who smoke at least 1.5 times more likely than non-smokers to take more than a year to get pregnant. The good news is that if you stop smoking, it’s estimated that the effects on fertility are reversed within a year.

5.     Passive smoking can affect a woman’s ability to get pregnant.

Women who live with a smoker are more likely than those in non-smoking homes to take longer than a year to get pregnant.

6.     Women don’t have forever to have a baby (hello guys!)

The Your Fertility campaign survey found that a massive 60 per cent of men thought women’s fertility started to decline after 40. Nearly 30 per cent of them thought women’s fertility starts to drop post-50. Guys, here’s the deal: a woman’s fertility starts to decline in the early 30s and declines more rapidly after 35. A woman is born with all the eggs she is going to have in her lifetime, so as she ages, these drop away or deteriorate. By age 40, a woman’s fertility has fallen by half.

Five Fertility Factors – Timing from VARTA on Vimeo.

7.     A guy’s age matters, too.

Guys have more time on their side but their fertility, too, declines with age. For men, fertility starts to drop in the 40s. All other things being equal, the time to pregnancy if a father is over 40 is two years (compared to 4.5 months if a man’s under 25).

Also, as a man ages, the risk of him fathering a child with a developmental disorder, such as autism, increases. Children with fathers aged 40 or older are at least five times more likely to have an autism spectrum disorder than children of fathers aged under 30.

The risk of miscarriage is twice as high among women whose male partner is aged over 45 than among those whose partners are under 25. The take-home message here is that if you want a baby and you’re in a position to have one, you might want to consider your age and that of your partner in deciding when to start a family.

Visit the Your Fertility website at www.yourfertility.org.au for more independent, evidence-based information about fertility, brought to you by the Fertility Coalition.

Stephanie Francis is communications manager at the Victorian Assisted Reproductive Treatment Authority, lead agency of the Fertility Coalition.

What have your experiences or your friends’ and families’ been in trying to get pregnant?

Comments

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92 Comments so far

  1. Anon for this

    Ughhh, great… My partner is 44, I am 31, and we are thinking 2-3 years to start a family. Might have to do some more sweet talking and get things cracking!

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  2. Eliotte

    Okay, so I am in my early 40′s and pregnant with my 2nd child. Like a lot of my generation I’m a late starter! Yes, it’s good to have a basic knowledge of how it all works, but don’t get stuck on statistics. A) find a willing partner B) enjoy sex and have it regularly and C) don’t stress!!! Yes, it might take you longer than when you were 22 but in my experience stressing about it and madly calculating does nothing much except slow down the process.

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  3. anon

    i was told that vaginal secretions change throughout your cycle, so it’s more clear and slippery when you are fertile and thick and white when you are not.
    http://www.pamf.org/teen/health/femalehealth/discharge.html

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  4. Anonymous

    Should have also included that the more you have sex, the better your chances. i.e. in relation to all of the comments about point no. 1, it is correct that you would not know exactly when you’re going to ovulate (best to use an OPK, in my experience), so having sex every second day in the lead up to ovulation will increase your chances.

    I think this information is very useful – women probably already know most of it (I think?!) but men definitely need some education on these issues.

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  5. Faybian

    This post is NOT giving out specialist fertility advice, just the basics. This sort of knowledge is a good rough guide for those wanting children.
    I had a number of fertility issues myself, including a period of having a short luteal phase cycles, which were treated with clomid. The rest of the time I took my temperature and checked my mucous, every day for the better part of 3 years. Not to mention the myriad other tests and treatments.
    I wouldn’t want to see people worry about their ability to have children when the majority can without a great deal of help. So IMO, knowing about short luteal phases etc is probably a bit more than everyone needs to be told straight up.

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    • Faybian

      Don’t know why my comment is here. It was actually in reply to Laura S.
      Also, I compare this information to knowing your average person’s pulse is 60-100/per minute. There are variations, but most of us fall in there somewhere unless there is a good reason, usually pathological.

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      • hamikay

        i understand your point, Faybian, but you’ve just given a BIG range for an average pulse – i’m sure you’d agree that if it were published that the ‘average pulse rate is 75′, then this would be a problem, because it’s too narrow. All I, and others I think, were suggesting was that point #1 would be more accurate if it stated that ovulation occurs ‘for most women, around 11-16 days before your period’, rather than specifically ‘at 14 days before’.

        i think we are actually all on the same ‘team’ here – we want people to know the facts, but not be overly stressed about it all :) for some of us that means temping and charting, for others, just knowing the general time to be targeting for babymakin’

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        • Faybian

          Yes, it is a big range. I think that is the average pulse actually.
          The range for ovulation is I think 12-16 days with 14 being the average.
          I guess the issue I had was people stating that it was a myth. I think like you, it’s best to know a general time to try to make a baby and not get bogged down in infertility specifics.

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    • Siobhan

      I don’t know, Faybian – I think it’s useful for women to at least be aware that this could be a potential issue. I have lots of friends who have very unpredictable or atypical mentrual cycles, some who’ve spent a great deal of time trying to conceive, and I think many of them could benefit from learning more about their own cycles by doing what you (and I) did – charting, taking temps, checking cervical mucus etc.

      A short luteal phase can be very effectively treated with herbs such as Vitex, which has a long history of treating irregular menstrual cycles, and is considered relatively safe. In just three cycles, Vitex helped regulate my cycles and shifted my luteal phase from 9-10 days (incompatible with conception) to 14 days. I’m so glad I discovered this early on, and was able to treat it naturally before my partner and I started trying to conceive. Had I not done my own research and consulted a fertility naturopath before we started trying, I may have spent months or even years wondering why I wasn’t getting pregnant…

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      • Anonymous

        My
        Luteal phase never got longer than 9 days. I have 3 children all conceived relatively easily. Conception is complicated but I think obsessing too early after starting to try takes the fun away. Give it 6 months of trying especially around fertile mucus time before getting clinical I reckon.

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        • Faybian

          I agree. It becomes too easy to obsess over stuff like this.

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  6. Summer

    I started IVF and was disappointed by how little information you get from your Drs – you are in and out of there in the matter of minutes. I felt so confused and didn’t know which information to trust – although I did know the basics. I did a fertility report thingy on ivf4u.com and it has made all the difference – I now feel fully equipped with all the knowledge my husband and I need to make the best decisions around IVF.

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  7. Gin & Tonic

    To find out when YOU ovulate you definitely need to do more research than just follow the 14 day advice. I recommend following the natural family planning methods to learn about your cycle (not for contraception though, I have friends who are proof that it doesnt work).

    I became an expert at following my cycle and I knew exactly when I was ovulating, to the point that even though I was on a “safe” day for no conception (following the date method) I knew I would get pregnant because I had all the signs of ovulation.

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    • Louise Johnson, Fertility Coalition

      Dear Gin and Tonic

      This is general advice for the 2/3 of Australians that do not know the most fertile time of the month. It is great that you know the signs of ovulation. For more detailed information about the signs of ovulation and other methods of determining when ovulation occurs visit http://www.yourfertility.org.au

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  8. Kaye

    My two cents worth:I know there are a million different circumstances for fertility but if you’re considering having babies sometime down the track at the very least get an AMH Test done to gauge where you are at. Yes, I know it’s not the be all and end all but it is in my case and I would hate to see others in the same boat. In a nutshell the Anti Mullerian Hormone Test will tell you how many eggs you have left. (Well give you a scale of where you’re at in terms of time) And once you’re eggs are gone, they’re gone so no amount of IVF will work.
    I am 31, healthy weight,healthy lifestyle, never smoked or drank alcohol, never had ANY period/fertility/cycle issues and got my AMH tested after being recommended by a friend. Shock horror is was at the level of a 48 yr old woman. AKA zippo chance and on the very rapid decline. After numerous rounds of IVF trying to harvest eggs I am still not pregnant. I have had second, third and fourth opinions from fertility experts just to verify what’s going on and they all agree that it is because of poor ovarian reserve – AKA low AMH level. It only gets worse with age.
    So my advice, based only on personal experience, is if you have a spare 60 bucks go and get an AMH test done. If you’ve got plenty up your sleeve then obviously you don’t have to panic just yet:) But if you’re on the decline like me then at least you will have a chance to do something about it before it’s too late.
    Again, I know the AMH test is not the be all and end all but had i have known about this sooner I would have had a bit more time to do something about the eggs I did have left. Just out of interest has MamaMia done an article on AMH or the ‘Egg Timer’ test???

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    • neola

      Mamamia did run an excellent article about the AMH test quite a while ago, which I’d never heard of before – they should link to it here as it was probably the most useful thing I’ve read on a blog and really worth doing. (*Thanks, MM, by the way!)

      Fortunately mine was ok, but we’re having to do IVF for other reasons.
      I really feel for you, Kaye, and hope you get some good eggs. Doesn’t feel fair, does it?

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    • Scarlett

      Hi Kaye, I think your advice is excellent. I have just turned 30 and very early menopause runs in my family hence why I enquired about the AMH test. I will be getting my test done as soon as I’ve had a natural cycle as I am on the pill and apparently it intereferes with the results.

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  9. LauraS

    Point 1 is a myth – I can’t believe mamamia even published it. The AVERAGE woman ovulates 14 days before her next period – but not all women do! For some women it can be as short as 7 days ( this is known as a short luteal phase). Given there is only a 2-3 day window for conceiving, getting this wrong by 2 days is critical.

    There is plenty of information online about finding it when you ovulate, such as by charting your temps, using OPK’s or looking at cervical mucus.

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    • Faybian

      No 1 is not a myth. It is what usually happens. Yes there are women having short luteal phases, but generally they are not conducive to successful pregnancies and will need treatment. This advice is not intended for those with identified problems conceiving.

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      • LauraS

        It says “You calculate your ovulation day by subtracting 14 days from the estimated start of your next period” which is incorrect.

        The average is 14 days, but many women are different (I am about 12-13 days). Some women vary month to month as well by a few days. A very short luteal phase is a problem conceiving, but 12-16 days shouldn’t be a problem.

        I know a few couples who have wasted months by assuming that O day was 14 days before their next period. We wasted a few months before I realized I was ovulating a few days later than we thought.

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      • hamikay

        #1 is not true, then, if you don’t like the term ‘myth’.
        “You calculate your ovulation day by subtracting 14 days from the estimated start of your next period (so you need to know the average length of your cycle)”

        – firstly, sure the average luteal phase (stage between ovulation and period) is 14 days, but MANY women range from 12-16 days. Some are even shorter, in which case you probably need to look into medical reasons. This is the part of your cycle which is likely to stay stable – it’s the follicular, or pre-ovulation, stage which varies for those of us with irregular cycles.

        – secondly, you don’t just take a certain number of days off your ‘average’ cycle length, unless you are lucky and have a very regular cycle. For example, my ‘average’ cycle is 35 days, but varies from 28-44 days – clearly I’d miss my fertile window most months if I just took 14 days off my average 35 day cycle!!

        This upsets me when a post suggests that it is informing us of important and sensitive information, but just spreads more myths. Of course, it’s closer than the usual “middle of your cycle” advice, but it still might mean that some people are missing out every month.

        For anyone reading this post because you are struggling to get pregnant, if you track your cycle for a couple of months (using Ovulation Predictor Kits and/or temperatures) then you can work this out for you personally. or, if you’re unlucky like me, you have to keep tracking it every month to know what is going on. Learning about your cervical mucus will help too!

        Or… just have sex every second day throughout your cycle!! At least then you should ‘hit’ at least 2 of your fertile days every month, no matter when they are :)

        Good luck, everyone :)

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        • hamikay

          oh – and “7 things I didn’t know about fertility” – and one is (incorrect, or at least ill-advised) info about timing, 2 are about weight, 2 are about smoking and 2 are about age???
          I get that this is probably just about starting a conversation, but surely there’s some more interesting and current research out there??!
          Anyway, that’s my 2 cents for the night… :)

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        • Louise Johnson, Fertility Coalition

          Hi Hamikay
          It’s true that some women have irregular or unusually short/long cycles. If you are in this camp you may need to seek professional support if you are trying for a baby. A combination of methods to determine when you are ovulating is important if you are in this situation.

          We felt that it was important to get the general message out there about when women ovulate as our research for the Your Fertility campaign shows that 2/3 of Australians don’t know the most fertile time in the month.

          There is more detailed information and a video with a fertility expert Professor Rob Norman at http://www.yourfertility.org.au

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          • hamikay

            i completely agree with the need to get information out – i know that I was quite clueless when i first started ‘ttc’ a year ago. i just wish that you’d qualified the ’14 days’ – being an article by an expert, it would be confusing for someone who is just learning about conception to see an authority state this as fact, when other sources say something different.
            I guess as someone who is struggling to conceive, i’m looking for any new ‘tips’ (even though i think i know more than most by now!!), and was frustrated to see one myth replaced by another. after having a friend who conceived easily suggest that i just need some ‘app’ to predict my unpredictable cycle, I may just be super-sensitive to one-size-fits-all advice…

            and, thank you, I am seeking professional support, and am hopeful that i can escape this frustrating waiting game sometime soon!

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    • Siobhan

      I agree. I think there are many women out there who have luteal phases that vary from the norm, and the only way to know for sure is to start tracking your cycles. I would highly recommend the Fertility Friend website as a great way to do this. I haven’t been there for a while, but you used to be able to get a VIP membership for about $16 a month, and it gave you a lot more options than the standard, free charts.

      It was through tracking my cycles over three or four months that I discovered that I had a very short luteal phase (9-10 days), which would have made it virtually impossible to conceive. After discovering this (and also because I had other issues such as endometriosis), I visited a fertility naturopath who put me and my partner on a four month preconception plan, during which my cycles were lengthened (my luteal phase jumped to 14 days – mostly thanks to Vitex and other herbs I was prescribed). We conceived our first child the first month after completing the program, and followed the same methods to conceive our second child.

      I’d highly recommend the book ‘The Natural Way to Better Babies’ by Francesca Naish and Janette Roberts for anyone wanting to boost their chances of conceiving naturally.

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    • Louise Johnson, Fertility Coalition

      Dear Laura

      For those with irregular cycles or with very short or long cycles, it may be worth getting professional support if trying for a baby. The advice in point 1 is general advice given that 2/3 of Australians do not know the fertile time in the month. Knowing other signs of ovulation eg changes to mucus can assist. An ovulation calculator and more detailed information about the impact of age and lifestyle on fertility is available at http://www.yourfertility.org.au

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    • Louise Johnson, Fertility Coalition

      Dear Laura

      For those with irregular cycles or with very short or long cycles, it may be worth getting professional support if trying for a baby. The advice in point 1 is general advice given that 2/3 of Australians do not know the fertile time in the month. Knowing other signs of ovulation eg changes to mucus can assist. An ovulation calculator and more detailed information about the impact of age and lifestyle on fertility is available at http://www.yourfertility.org.au

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  10. miss green

    interesting timing – i am mid way through my first ivf cycle at 36, after 5 years of trying everything to fall pregnant. like many women i always assumed that ivf was a good fallback but one thing i never thought about was my body’s response to the treatment. at the end of the day, the biggest determinate of success with ivf is how many eggs you get, and a lot of this is age related.

    i only got two eggs to fertilise – most likely because of my age. i understand that a “normal” amount to harvest is usually about 10 – often more.

    luckily the quality of them both is excellent due to my healthy lifestyle and months of acupuncture.

    now to make them stick!

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  11. anon

    I am considered overweight-(well obese) and we started to try to fall pregnant. I had also read that being overweight would affect fertility. So I really thought it would take a year (or longer) to fall pregnant, but I found out we were pregnant first month of trying, to our surprise and excitement. So there are always exceptions. I also agree that paying attention to your body’s signs- such as cervical mucus and Ovulation Predictor Kits are useful.

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    • Emma

      Yes, but it would be silly for all women to assume they are the exception.

      Congrats on your pregnancy though! Very exciting!

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  12. Annie

    Help?! I have been trying for over 2 years without success – My partner and I have had primary testing but our doctor was reluctant to refer us to a specialist (my partner has recently been working out-of-state for 2 weeks at a time – we need the cash unfortunately)
    However, I have always had a TERRIBLE/PAINFUL period since puberty – could this be a reason for our hurdles????
    x

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    • Sammi

      Your doctor should have referred y

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      • Sammi

        Apologies iPhone issue. It’s standard that if you’re not successful at conceiving after 12 months of trying you should be investigated for infertility. Re: painful periods you could be suffering with endometriosis which can cause scarring internally and interfere with fertility. You should most certainly see a gynae specialist ASAP who will look into things and hopefully give you some answers and more importantly help you feel like you have a bit of control back. Been there myself. We saw a specialist after 6 months of problems and he was the leader of fertility issues in Qld and he recommended basic ovulation induction medication which worked for us. We happily have a 11 month old and hopefully we will be adding to our family soon. Good luck.

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    • Mosquitonet

      Definately see a specialist ASAP. I had very painful periods, saw a GP who sent me off for an ultrasound which showed nothing. GP said I didn’t have endometriosis( or any orher issues) as nothing showed up on the ultrasound.
      Went to another GP who sent me straight to a fertility specialist / gyno who has since operated and removed the endometriosis she found which can affect fertility if not removed. Specialist told me most endometriosis doesn’t show up on an ultrasound and can be very hard to diagnose so get 2nd opinion of you’re not happy with the 1st!

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  13. Anonymous

    Not everyone ovulates 14 days before their period. I ovulated 3 days before mine. This was a problem. I could not get pregnant. If you really want to know when you are fertile you should try charting your cycle with one of the NFP methods then if your ovulation is off you can have it looked into.

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  14. MsE

    I read recently that due to all the press about the decline of fertility that in the UK there has been a spike in unplanned pregnancies in women over 40 due to not thinking they need contraception. In one story it claims there are almost as many post 40 women terminating pregnancies as there are teens.

    I have been very lucky and know other older girls that haven’t had issues. I was on the pill for over 15 years and had PCOS. My first was conceived in my second cycle at 37, second was conceived at 39 whilst breast feeding and on the mini pill and we have a surprise third at 41.

    My reasons for starting late were due to not having met the right partner to take that step with. I do wonder how many women will feel they have to just procreate even with the wrong person just because at 28 they think their time is almost up?

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  15. DirtyThirty

    Fertility and having a baby is a huge thing weighing on my mind and articles like this – I have to say – make me panic a little more. I turned thirty this year and for some unknown reason had always expected that this would be the year I would have a baby.

    The sticking point is that I started my own business just on 12 months ago and I can really see no hope in the near future of my husband and I being in a position to have a baby. The business is too demanding of my time at the moment and financially we are just not as secure as we used to be.

    I really don’t want to wait too long as I’m nervous that, for whatever reason, it may take us a while to fall pregnant. And then what about baby number 2 and number 3??

    Articles such as this remind me that we really shouldn’t take our capacity to fall pregnant for granted because there are so many factors at play. Part of me would happily throw in the business for the chance at motherhood but that is just not an option. So its about taking the calculated risk to hold off for a little while longer and hope like hell that we are lucky enough to have a positive journey to parenthood.

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    • Pumba

      I totally agree with your first paragraph.
      Everytime I read an article like this it just makes me panic some more.
      I’m not 30 yet, and plan to start trying within the next year, but I’m still concerned. And then, as you mentioned, what about babies 2 and 3 … and so on.

      The other thing that worries me is that there are alot of us who feel like this, and surely being anxious and stressed is not going to help.

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    • Patti

      I fell pregnant first time at age 36 and now 38. I used to stress so much as to whether I would fall pregnant straight away or would it take time. I met my partner aged 34 but to be honest I wasn’t ready to have a baby until I hit 35 then I was like Omg I really want a baby! I feel lucky we haven’t had any problems like so many other couples I know. It’s such a personal choice you’ll come to the decision when you’re ready, in fact I think there are tests you can take to see how many eggs you have left and also their condition? If it’s really weighing on your mind this might be something worth exploring?

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    • Emma

      These articles scare the crap out of me as well. It wasn’t until reading things like this on Mamamia that I started to think “what if, what if, what if!” It is silly to worry about things that may or may not happen, but it is so hard not too!

      In saying that, I would rather be informed than in the dark.

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  16. Kerr

    We were really lucky and got pregnant with both our girls the first month we were trying with each. I went off the pill a year before we started trying for our first, and haven’t been back on it. I was pretty shocked though when I joined my mothers group (and from now knowing many, many mummas) at how many people had difficulty. Three of the girls in my mothers group had IVF, in their 20′s! Although it was easy for us, it really seems that it’s not easy for a lot of people and I realise how lucky we really were. I found the two week wait in our one month of waiting excruitating, I can only imagine how much harder this is doing it over and over again.

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  17. Guest

    I love all this info, so thank you!
    I feel pretty confident in my own knowledge of fertility already and I know I am a healthy, married, childless 26 year old. Every time I read something like this it makes me want to drop everything and start conceiving right now!! I’m in the middle of a degree and we still rent – but sometimes I wonder if that stuff can just wait… :S so conflicted!!

    Also – the website just went a bit funny, I tried logging in (on laptop) and it took me to the mobile site. I could only get back to the normal site by logging out. “Full Site” option at bottom didn’t work…

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  18. jennafer

    I have one child who I had in my early 20′s and am now looking at trying to fall pregnant again(I will be 30 next year). I am extremely worried its not going to happen cuz I don’t get my period as I am slim and find it hard to keep weight on. I get my period very rarely usually every six months or so. any advice????

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    • Guest

      No specific advice, I’m sorry. But I would imagine trying to fall pregnant when your period is that infrequent would be a challenge. I guess you will most likely need to see a GP at least before trying to conceive to get your hormones and menstrual cycle sorted out. Perhaps even weight gain to encourage a regular period?

      Good luck! :-)

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    • Louise Johnson, Fertility Coalition

      It is worth getting professional support if your periods are irregular and you want to try for a baby. It will depend on your weight, being too underweight or too overweight can impact on fertility – a doctor can help you with your individual circumstances. See http://www.yourfertility.com.au for more information.

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  19. Elena

    For me (speaking with the benefit of hindsight of course) waiting for the perfect right time is a bit of a gamble. I had decided (haha) that I would get pregnant at 32 and have my first baby at 33. I didn’t feel “ready” before that. As it turned out I did get pregnant at 32 but miscarried, then had another miscarriage after that followed by an ectopic pregnancy. Thankfully it was 4th time lucky for us and I have a beautiful baby girl now, but I have lots of friends in their mid 30′s who are struggling to fall/stay pregnant.

    I also have friends who got pregnant on their honeymoon. You don’t know which way it will go until you start trying – therefore just get on with it is my very best advice!

    PS – like lots of others have said – to find your “window” precisely track your basal temperature and try digital ovulation tests, it really helps pin it down.

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  20. Lisa G

    To all the mid 30s single ladies reading this…..after child free divorce at 33….I finally met new partner at 37 after the war battle of Sydney dating scene..one year dating and I said “let’s try to have a baby”…. 3 kids followed in quick time….we are extremely happy, surprised and lucky. Not everyone will have difficulty. Good luck all.

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    • another fab single woman

      Lisa, great story – I could cry with happiness. I am single and 32- don’t even have a man to ‘try’ with right now. So it was good to read.
      I recall my mother falling pregnant at 33 after a VERY short fling (not great news, but I know she fell pregnant very easily at 33, so genetically good fertile news for me biologically).
      How did you meet a man who was husband / father material in your mid-late 30s and in a big city? I keep reading / hearing lots of cynical talk about all the good ones go early, something wrong with apparently decent seeming guys unmarried at 30-45. If I believed it, I’d hide in a hole forever, but I live in hope. I’d be a brilliant mum, I’d be happy with 1-2 children.

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  21. KTT

    Haha! If sex ed at school was honest and said you could only fall pregnant about 4 days of your cycle, then there would’ve been a lot more sex going on at my school! The fear of falling pregnant when just looking at a boy was enough to keep our school full of virgins for quite a few years!! ;)

    Think these tips are great. Though I would point out that the focus should be on ‘normal’ weight. Very underweight girls may find it difficult to fall pregnant too. So add on a couple of kgs if you need to as well.

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  22. Anna

    I too used Fertility Friend, and found that my luteal phase (post ovulation to start of period) was only 11 days, rather than the 14 days they say is normal. 3 days makes a big difference when you are only fertile for the 2-3 days prior to ovulation! I fell very easily (twice) once i worked that out. Would thoroughly recommend using a site like that if you are having difficulty, and have no other explanation.

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    • LauraS

      Agree! Plus, tracking your cycle is kind of fascinating anyway I found. I learnt so much about my body.

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  23. Lynnie

    On the flipside of all those that struggle to fall pregnant is me. I read so many articles regarding fertility issues (like this one) prior marrying and as a result I got scared. My husband still jokes that it was Sex and the City’s Charlotte that made me to start trying asap. We married in 2009 and although I wanted to enjoy just a family of 2 for awhile, I said we should start trying for a baby because it will take us at least a year to fall pregnant etc. Well, it happened instantly (on the honeymoon!) and we were not prepared at all (although, as they say, there is right time) and we quickly bought a house, extra car etc. When I went for my first ultrasound I actually thought the baby was growing in my STOMACH – isn’t that where babies grow? Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy it all happened and we are blessed, but I do wish we had waited a little longer.

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    • kitten

      I hear you i fell pregnant just after getting married at 21 was on the pill at the time, than with my second child were thinking of trying and had a condom brake the day after my period and fell pregnant and have just fallen pregnant with baby three at 28 i have gained a huge amount of weight with baby 2 that i hadn’t lost so i am on an excersise and weightloss plan but still thought it would take a while to get pregnant as thats what everyone says but i fell pregnant first time. My husband and i love our children but sometimes i wish i had waited a little bit longer before having kids.

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  24. Carly

    Loved this article. Like many who have already commented – I recently took myself off the pill (after discussions with my partner) and am getting my body sorted before we intend to “not not try” mid next year. I am 29.
    I will never EVER go back on the Pill in my life. It’s just crazy how “normal” the Docs make it out to be – if there are issues with our cycles, it’s because there are issues with our health. That can’t be fixed by pill popping. I’m seeing an excellent Traditional Chinese Medicine practitioner who is helping me to get my cycles back in order and regulate hormones so that I’m ovulating regularly. I’m not a fan of fertility trackers (other than to capture the amount of days so I don’t lose track) – going on the signs your body gives you (cervical mucous, etc) is a much more effective way of knowing. It’s not just about weight. What we consume (eat, drink) is key! And sex – LOTS of sex – not just at ‘peak’ times. Let’s get that fresh nutrient rich blood into our wombs ladies!
    It’s so important for our *whole* bodies (and minds!) to be fertile – not just our uterus.

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  25. Lovely day

    Have to be honest ,after all the sex ed at school telling us if he didnt wrap it so to speak or you missed a pill you would be up the duff just like that – I really thought getting pregnant was going to be “easy” !!
    However most of my girlfriends (all mid to late 20′s healthy non smokers) are finding that’s not the case at all! Many took months and it took us for instance 18 months ….

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    • Some random

      I get where you’re coming from, but if I were a PDHPE teacher I certainly wouldn’t tell a class full of kids right out that you can only get pregnant on a few days of the month. Not because I want to deliberately mislead them, but well, teenagers are by and large stupid and do stupid things. Plus can you imagine the leverage it would give guys who didn’t want to wear a condom?

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  26. Neeks

    I have a suggestion for anybody that wants to fall pregnant but has been on hormonal contraception for a long time. It may pay to come off hormonal contraception and on to a barrier method even before you wish to start trying to concieve. The reason I say this is that after being on the pill for years and having your hormonal levels regulated you can get out of touch with your bodies own natural cycle. Get to know when you have your highs and low mood wise, watch for the changes to your libido through out the month, watch for changes in mucous production and see what patterns you can detect. You may find you can identify when you are ovulating without counting days on a calendar. I know from paying attention to my natural cycle that I actually ovulate a couple of days later than the 14th day because I have a very definite pattern that I go through.

    A couple of days before ovulation I experience a very marked spike in my libido. During these days I find myself perving at guys on the side of the road as I drive my car or I find myself googling things like “Alexander Skarsgard shirtless”. I also notice mucous changes just prior to ovulation and then experience ovulation pain in one of my sides. Of course none of these things happen when you are on the pill and it can be easy to forget what it’s like to go through your natural cycle.

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    • Anna

      Is there any truth to the “mega fertility” experience straight after coming off the pill? I had no trouble with my first conception (straight off the pill) but a lot with my second (condoms). I was told many times that when you first come off the pill, you go into “uber ovulation” for a couple of cycles and that that’s why I got lucky.

      Any medical truth to this?

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      • Neeks

        I’m not sure about the “Mega Fertility” part. It really is about when you start to ovulate again. I know that the time it takes to start ovulating after coming off the pill varies from person to person. Some people take 2 weeks where others can take a couple of months. I suppose it all depends on your bodies reaction to being without the synthetic contraception hormones.

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        • Carly

          I’ve had friends who have waited over a year after coming off the pill until their periods returned. I’ve read a lot that it’s not great to plan to get pregnant right after coming off it – to wait 6 months while your body replenishes stores of minerals and vitamins that are zapped by the pill – idea being that the more nutrient rich your body is, the more you pass on to the child, and the better their wellbeing etc.
          (of course if it happens it happens :) )

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          • ParisChic

            Just googled this – I didn’t know that increases in vitamins/minerals were recommended if on the pill. Is it common knowledge?

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            • Carly

              So NOT common knowledge I don’t reckon! There was so much my doctor never told me. I had no idea my stores would get so depleted, and it explains some other things.

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      • Anon.

        My experience…

        I have PCOS and never had regular periods from when they started in puberty so was on the pill.

        Went off the pill and ‘went for it’. Pregnant first month. Baby currently sleeping soundly.

        I will be doing the same again next time. Otherwise I would have no idea when I’m ovulating and probably only ovulate a few times a year. For me, I feel that first month when my body kick starts is when I have the best chance.

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    • Kate

      Mmmm skarsgard shirtless – hell yes!!!!

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  27. Melanie

    There’s a National Fertility Week? As if we’re not re-populating the planet enough.

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  28. Education.....

    In having issues getting pregnant, I really discovered that all the education we are given growing up focuses on NOT falling pregnant. In reality, the window to actually fall pregnant each month is so very very small and you almost need the planets to align if you have any hint of an issue with fertility (long cycles, PCOS etc). My advice to anyone trying and not having luck, get to know your body early and what is happening each month and if you believe your timing is right and it still isn’t working, find a doctor who will help you with the issues early. THere is nothing to lose in trying to address issues early even though a lot of Drs won’t want to look into fertility stuff till you have been trying for a year or more. If you know your body and are taking steps to increase your chances and doing things like tracking, don’t let the medical fraternity turn you away. It doesn’t mean you are suddenly going to launch into IVF, there is lots of little things Drs and specialists can do early on to help you get on track – something as simple as testing the sperm, testing your glucose intolerance or giving you a real plan for losing a few KGs.

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    • Julia

      Totally agree with this.

      As a starting point, there are some good free apps that track your cycle. I’ve started using one, even though we’re not trying yet, just so I’ll have a good understanding of my cycle when that day comes.

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      • Education

        I highly recommend Fertility Friend if you are tracking temps it has an online version and an app for your phone and it really helped when I fronted up to the Dr and was able to show my cycle in charts that proved I was ovulating and that the timing was almost right each month but it still wasn’t happening. She took me seriously and we saw a fertility specialist quite quickly and low and behold, 2 months after some minor intervention (metformin to help glucose intolerance – one of the only side effects I seemed to have of PCOS) I was pregnant :)

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    • First time lucky

      I just recently found I am pregnant for the first time, and I was reflecting on education as well. There was such a strong anti-pregnancy focus in school sex-ed, that even as a married woman in my late 20s who has chosen to have a child, I felt this pang of fear when I tookthe test- OH MY GOD, WHAT IF I’M PREGNANT?! -HOW WILL I TELL MY MOTHER?! haha ridiculous! And I felt scared before excited after the 2 lines appeared. It’s kind of sad that they educate in such a way..

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  29. Sam

    Very timely! My partner and I decided to stop using contraceptives over the weekend. I am 29, he is 31, and although we haven’t been together a long time, we both know we are each other’s ‘one’ and don’t want to miss the fertility boat.

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    • Anonymoose

      Good luck!

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  30. Julia

    I hate reading articles like this, they just stress me out.

    I’m fit, my partner is fit and neither of us smoke but I am 29 and he’s 42.

    How do other people decide when to start trying?

    Ideally I’d love to have a kid when I am 31 but from everything I have read, its quite likely it will take us 1-2 years to fall pregnant. So do we start trying when I’m 31 and accept it might be a couple of years after that? Like 33 or 34. Bearing in mind that I’d like to have 2 kids so it makes my partner an older Dad.

    Or do we start trying a little earlier and if it happens straight away, deal with that?

    Financially we would be fine either way and our relationship is solid. We’ve got a few things to get through in the next few months but in theroy there’s no reason we wouldnt be ready to go by the middle of next year…

    How do others manage it?

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    • Sam

      As irresponsible as this sounds, we decided to stop contraceptives because I had lost my script. We have had conversations about kids, and although in an ideal world I would prefer to be married first and better off financially, I think it is too easy to keep making excuses. If it happens soon, then at least you (and we) can relax and know we are fertile!

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      • Julia

        Definitely agree with excuses.

        At the moment I am restless and its not helping. I dont like my job, but its stable and easy – so part of me wants to go find something more interesting and another part thinks it would be a good job to take mat leave from.

        I’m also doing some postgrad uni studies which I’d like to complete but I could also take program leave.

        So many factors to consider.

        The simplicity of your approach is oddly appealing. =)

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        • Sam

          Haha, I know right! In an ideal world we would be married, have more of our individual mortgages paid off, have the new car, have been on a few overseas holidays etc. I think we both realised how much we both wanted kids when I was a few days late a couple of months ago, and we were both disappointed when I got my period.

          As with the commenter above though, not quite sure how to tell my mum when it actually happens!

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      • Mel

        Just do it, as long as you are ready for the first time lucky.
        I planned an o/s holiday for 6 months after I went off the pill (we won’t get pregnant straight away, no-one does!).
        Well we did, and had to change plans post-haste (went to NZ instead of Asia 4 month pregnant)….
        And just to throw a spanner in the good old plans (cause us modern women can plan everything to a tea ;-) we found out twins.
        What do they say…the best laid plans….lol
        Best of luck, but just relax and enjoy the whole experience – it is life changing in so many wonderful ways x

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    • Anna

      Now. Now now now. Don’t wait. There will never be a “perfect” time. If your relationship is good, you’re financially secure and you both want kids, do it now. At 27 I got pregnant immediately, at 32, it took 18 months (of course that’s just me but you get the point). And I’m finding that although the pregancies are so far identical, I’m struggling a lot more this time, and that’s not just because I have a 4yo, but because I’m 5 years older. I can feel it in my crackly old bones.

      Don’t forget that pregnancy is only the short and easy start – you’ve got to raise the little dears too. *** Generalisations ahead**** When you’re younger, you have more energy and you’re more flexible. Based on my own very extensive and thoroughly scientific research, the older you are, the harder it is.

      So, in summary, if there isn’t a single good reason not to, then get to it.

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    • Me

      I feel the same as you Julia. I’m 29 and my husband is 37. I am not wanting a child just yet however I am well aware of the statistics and the window of opportunity for fertility.

      I also have lost my cycle so this adds to the stress! Ideally I’d prefer to have a child when I am 35 but I know it is highly recommended I start earlier. Added to this is the fact I know I will have trouble conceiving. I am now working towards my cycle returning but I’ve been hoping for it to return for some time.

      I hope that all works out for you and your partner.

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    • Pip

      I got pregnant at 25 and my partner was 43. It took only 2 months. Now our child is nearly 2 and I want to try for the second…I am becoming paranoid reading articles like this! Fertility isn’t something I gave a lot of thought to the first time around, but I am much more concious of it now. As my husband is 45 now and according to this article his fertility has dropped drastically!

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    • Emma

      My father and my step mother had their first child together when dad was 46 and their second when he was 48. And she was 34 and 36 years when she conceived and they had no problems at all. Stop worrying about things that probably won’t happen!

      Good luck!

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  31. Lily

    I have PCOS so typically have two, maybe three periods a year. There’s no way to predict when my fertile period will be. My first daughter was conceived by IVF and we hope to go back next year to try for a second baby.

    PCOS is a pain in the arse (frequently in the ovaries, actually) with a nice array of side effects I can’t shake, like the big pot belly which I LOATHE.

    But at least I live in a time and place where I can still make a baby, even if I need a little help.

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    • Wendy

      Totally off topic but does pcos cause pot bellies? I was only diagnosed with pcos 2 weeks before falling pregnant with my first (after a year of trying). Prior to having kids I was always slim and could eat what I wanted without putting on weight but have always hated my pot belly. Interesting to think that’s why? If I ever lose baby weight I wonder if metformin would get rid of my pot belly. Not that I’d probably bother just never heard that before.

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      • Lily

        Sure does. It causes a heavier than usual weight distribution in the stomach area apparently. I’m pretty small but I’ve got a shocking ‘beer gut’ as my fertility doctor so delicately put it. Pretty common and hard to lose – I’m a size 8-10 in legs, shoulders and so on and about a 12 around my middle. I hate it.

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        • Lily

          Not that there’s anything wrong with being a size 12 (before anyone gets offended), it’s just impossible to find pants that fit and don’t give me severe muffin top!

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        • neola

          Aha! So THAT’S why! Here I was thinking I inherited my disproportionate gut from my beer-swilling dad. Damn ovaries, they sh*t me…

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      • stella

        it’s often a sign that you have PCOS and insulin resistance.
        Metformin can help control the insulin part.
        good luck!

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    • stella

      i have pcos too, have you considered metformin?
      also this book helped me-
      http://melbournenaturalfertility.com.au/fertilise-yourself/ especially the maca powder shake!

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      • Lily

        I actually was just reading about it then, I’d never heard about it before. My fertililty doctor put me straight through to Clomid which worked too well, so I asked to go to IVF to have greater control over the process (didn’t want to be the next Octomum).

        Would so love to have one naturally. I will look into both these, thanks.

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  32. stacey87

    I am 25 with one little girl, my boyfriend is 20, he isn’t ready for more kids for a while yet… Articles like this which I read make me panic into thinking I will never have more children…. I don’t have a house, or a career as yet and it feels like by the time we are both ready and stable, my biological clock will have set sail long ago… :( IN saying that, though, my little girl now has filled my heart with so much love that I can not complain, there are so many couples much worse off than me, and I am grateful for all I have.

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    • Louise Johnson, Fertility Coalition

      Hi Stacey
      We certainly don’t mean to panic anybody – and as women’s fertility doesn’t start to decline until the early 30s, you certainly don’t need to rush into having more children if the time is not right for you and your partner. We recognise that having children is dependent on individual circumstances. The Your Fertility campaign is about giving people accurate information so they can make the best choices to suit their own situation.

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  33. sarahinsydney

    Great article! As someone who doesn’t ovulate until approx day 19-20 and was having lots of trouble getting pregnant, it wasn’t until I read Toni Weschlers “Taking Charge of your Fertility” that I truly understand my cycles. I highly reccomend it for all women, you don’t need to be trying for a baby. In fact the book was originally written for women who wanted to know their cycles so as NOT to get pregnant. I wish I had first read it at eighteen rather than thirty!

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