Cancel your plans, Brisbane. No-one is going outside today.
Just in case you forgot Australia is a terrifying and inhospitable place to live, a giant kangaroo is currently terrorising residents of a leafy suburb in Brisbane.
Linda Hellyer, a North Lakes local, was out walking her dog when this f*cking monster jumped into her path.
“We turned the corner and old mate jumped out. He’s very big and I don’t want to take him on,” she told Seven News Brisbane.
“He’s got massive, massive muscles, big pecs and everything and he stood up because he was obviously a bit frightened of the dogs,” she said.
LINDA, IT’S A TRAP! RUN!!!
It’s not unusual for kangaroos to be seen around the suburb, but little ones. Cute ones. Not two-metre tall, 95kg dude-bros like this guy, who has a torn ear and likes to lurk around playgrounds, walking tracks and the local golf course.
“He’s very intimidating, he’s a big boy.”
That’s it. I’m moving. Thanks for nothing, Australia.
More of this country’s utter ridiculousness: