My husband and I have been together for 12 years, eight of them married, four of them teenaged.
That’s right; I met my husband when I was 16 years old, and halfway through college I married my high school sweetheart.
So far, I’ve been incredibly lucky. Though our relationship has had its ups and downs, stresses and joys, we’ve reached a point where it feels very solid. I think we are in it for the long haul. I think we always have been.
But did I really know that standing at the altar at 20 years old? Of course, I would have told you yes, but the answer is I didn’t. Marriage was too large a concept for me to grasp. Part of me knows it still is. I can’t pretend I know what lies ahead. I’m eight years in, and if this turns out how I’d like, we’ll have decades left to go.
It’s like thinking you’ll know what a movie is about in the first 15 minutes. I mean you might have a pretty good grasp, but you can never say for sure. Plot twists happen. I’m at least old enough to see that now.
But if our relationship remains good and strong, the kind of relationship I want to model for our children, I also want them to know that we are the exception, not the norm. I don’t want my kids to dive headfirst into teenage romance thinking they’ve found the one, even if it turned out well for me.
Because the thing is, it’s hard to have perspective on the intense feelings you have when you’re in your teens and early twenties. Everything feels so high stakes. Romance becomes so much larger than life. I fought tooth and nail with anyone who would dare act like I wasn’t ready to get married. I wouldn’t stop for a second to listen to anyone who gave advice I perceived as negative or doubtful of my maturity, even if it was spoken out of love.
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We've been married 36 years. I was 21, he was almost a year older and we hadn't even known each other for a whole year. He wasn't the best looking man I'd ever met, he didn't come from a great background and he owed more money than he'd saved, but he was honest, willing to listen, despite whether he agreed with me or not, and I him. We just clicked. We were a team from day 1. Our life hasn't been easy, we've had tragedy and hardship, as well as triumphs, but we've always come through it together. We still look forward to sharing what we did during the day, first thing we do when we get home. We like spending our time together, we enjoy each others company more than anybody elses. We're best friends. We don't always agree, and we certainly know each others flaws, but we've never turned away from each other, and we both admit when we've been wrong. We are each others support team. From the beginning, we both agreed that, no matter what, we would always have each others back, stand up for each other and look out for the other. So far, it's been wonderful. I hope we get another 36 years or more!
I love this. It's very true. My husband and I married 22 years ago, when I was 19 and I feel exactly the same. Sheer luck that we grew into the kind of people that the other could love, along with a whole lot of hard work and the utter stubbornness to not give up when things have been difficult. We have been very fortunate!