real life

Why women have more relationship regrets than men

They are something that 44 per cent of women have, but only 19 per cent of men admit to. I’m talking about regrets. Specifically, relationship regrets. Whether you let a good one get away, stayed in a bad one for too long or hurt someone you loved, a US study has revealed many of us are having trouble letting go when it comes to our love lives.

It’s probably no coincidence then that Adele’s “Someone Like You” has been on the top of the Australian charts for over 16 weeks. The soulful and melancholic lyrics refer to the artist revisiting an old love, only to find he’s moved on. One verse in particular sends shivers down my spine every single time I listen to it:

“Never mind, I’ll find someone like you. I wish nothing but the best for you too. Don’t forget me, I beg, I remember you said: ‘Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead.”

So, why do we dwell over our old relationships? One of the authors of the study, Neal Roese believes the reason it is because we take on more personal responsibility in them.

“It speaks to something psychologists have known for a long time. Women are typically charged with the role of maintaining and preserving relationships, so when things do go wrong, it’s very spontaneous for women to think, ‘I should have done it some other way,'” he said.

I really only have one relationship regret, I stayed in a two-year relationship, two years longer than I should have. It was a long time ago and looking back it taught me a lot, for one I probably wouldn’t have realised how great my now husband was. I think you have to go out with a few duds to know when a really good one comes along.

Roese says that regrets can be bittersweet and painful but it’s near impossible to live a life without any.

“Regret is an essential part of the human experience. You should listen to the lessons your regrets tell you, which is quite often how you could have done things differently or how you could change things,”

Do you still think about the one that got away? Or is there a relationship you wish you’d never had?