kids

This father of four girls is sharing his hilarious struggles on Instagram.

We’ve found it. The funny, down-to-earth parenting Instagram we all need in our lives.

Simon Hooper, aka father of daughters, is the father of four girls – two one-year-old twins, a six-year-old and a nine-year-old.

His funny, sometimes stressful, and always self-depreciating account, which sees him being outnumbered and juggling the demands of his four daughters, has gained Simon 500k plus followers online.

And his captions have won the hearts of Instragrammers everywhere.

Guy Sebastian on the guilt of switching off on I Don’t Know How She Does It. 

In a recent post, Simon wrote about the ‘aroma’ your house gets once you have children. You know the one.

“When you become parents, you don’t notice it, but your house gradually takes on a new aroma. it’s only when guests come round, their faces contort & they ask whether you’d had a fish curry with a side of old ham for dinner, washed down with milk 2 weeks past its use by date, do you realise that you now live with the scent of ‘odour de baby ass’ he wrote. 

when you become parents, you don’t notice it, but your house gradually takes on a new aroma. it’s only when guests come round, their faces contort & they ask whether you’d had a fish curry with a side of old ham for dinner, washed down with milk 2 weeks past its use by date, do you realise that you now live with the scent of ‘odour de baby ass’. That said, once and while you come across a natural disaster that makes your nose invert and die. I walked into the twins room today and found this offending article next to an open nappy bin. She smelt like a old pork chop found in a drain – upon removal, she seemed blissfully unaware that she was being lifted by her dungarees and carried on stripping the silcone off a bottle of old milk I’d not cleared up. #myhousesmellsofass #missionimpossibleimpression #porkchopinadrain #neverbedownwind #hazmatsuitrequired #FOD #fatherofdaughters #dadlife #instadad

A post shared by Simon, also known as FOD (@father_of_daughters) on

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“That said, once and while you come across a natural disaster that makes your nose invert and die. I walked into the twins room today and found this offending article next to an open nappy bin. She smelt like a old pork chop found in a drain – upon removal, she seemed blissfully unaware that she was being lifted by her dungarees and carried on stripping the silcone off a bottle of old milk I’d not cleared up.” 

And it seems the parents of Instagram agreed with him.

“Omg thanks for making my day, every time you post lol glad I’m not the only parent who feels exactly like you do in all your post !!! Parenthood at its finest,” wrote one person.

“Our car smelt like that – one of our little darlings spilt milk in the back and never said anything – it was summer and two days later when we went to use car again ….it made us heave!!!!!” added another.

Simon tackles all the big issues of parenting through his Instagram posts from sex education to, well, what to do when your one-year-old twins put everything they can find in the toilet.

This week my eldest has been doing sex education at school. Shes very mature about it & having a midwife as a mum, they know a lot more than your average kid, no ‘front bottoms’ or ‘nunnys’ in this house, it’s strictly a ‘vagina’ affair (which coincidently would be a great title for a drama series on TV) That said, she’s chosen tonight (when @mother_of_daughters is away) to ask questions about men which makes me feel like an embarrassed child, but i promised to tell her the truth. My personal favourites – “do you wear a condom daddy?” Me – “Yes”. Then why do you have so many children? Touchè. “Have you and mummy had sex more than 3 times?” I laughed proudly – “Way more……like at least 9 or 10 times” ( I didn’t want to come across as a sex crazied maniac). #sexeducation #shestheadultimthechild #sheknowsmorethanme #dontaskaboutmasturbationorilldie #ivedoneitloads #fatherofdaughters #instadad #dadlife #parenting

A post shared by Simon, also known as FOD (@father_of_daughters) on

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@mother_of_daughters is out this evening getting yet another ear piercing (if she gets any more, I’ll be able to see through her) so I’ve got all 4. Like any manager worth his pay grade, I delegated & I left Marnie in charge of the 2 delinquents while I made bottles. I returned to the twins drowning animals in the toilet & dispensing of, what transpired to be, the last toilet roll in the house. Unsurprizingly, like my pay check after 10 days, the 6 yr old had vanished without a trace. If you don’t hear from me tomorrow it’s because i died on a wet bathroom floor due to getting my arm stuck round the U bend while retrieving a plastic squeaky cow and my dignity. What a way to go. #atleasthedieddoingwhatheloved #toilettombola #baddelegation #myselfrespectisintheresomewheretoo #FOD #fatherofdaughters #dadlife #instadad

A post shared by Simon, also known as FOD (@father_of_daughters) on

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Listen to Guy Sebastian: I don’t know how HE does it.

Simon’s wife, Clemmie, also has an Instagram account called mother_of_daughters.

This family is just too damn cute!