real life

There's a name for what you're feeling right now: 'family jet lag.'

The term ‘Christmas holidays’ is an oxymoron. A contradiction in terms, if you will.

A holiday is meant to be an “extended period of leisure and recreation”, and describes a “break” or a “rest.”

Christmas is, for adults at least, none of those things.

Apart from the unpaid labour of cooking/cleaning/washing/shopping/wrapping/organising that we invest over the festive season, there is an additional source of exhaustion that we seldom discuss.

Family jet lag.

We discuss why women really hate Christmas on Mamamia Out Loud. (Post continues after audio.)

Following Christmas, many people find themselves tired for a number of days. Some have difficultly concentrating, and report heightened levels of anxiety.

Just like traditional jet lag, clinical psychologist Dr. Adam Fried says family jet lag is the result of a disruption to your normal routine.

“Many times we may not even realise the level of our anxiety — or the resulting consequences, like extreme fatigue — until well after the event has passed,” he explains.

It’s important to note that feeling drained after spending time with your family doesn’t mean you love them any less. It’s just that you might only see them a handful of times throughout the year, and therefore the social interaction can be particularly intense.

Cyrus fam Christmas in full swing ????

A photo posted by Brandi Cyrus (@brandicyrus) on

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Elizabeth Yoko writes argues in The New York TimesChristmas might also give rise to “difficult issues best dealt with face-to-face” that we avoid throughout the year.

Events on or surrounding Christmas Day also come with a certain insistence to act festive. Similarly to New Years Eve, we can get caught up in what Dr Russ Harris has termed “the happiness trap”, meaning the pressure to feel ‘happy’ leads most of us to, ironically, feel miserable and anxious.

On top of the pressure to “HAVE FUN”, spending time with your extended family can be emotionally fraught. You might have to share close quarters with people you don’t know all that well. The thing about family, too, is that you don’t choose them.

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Therefore, there’s a sense of forced intimacy with people who may have differing political political beliefs or values.

Image via 20th Century Fox

As Cari Romm writes for Science of Usit's a "gentler version of the introvert hangover", which refers to social overstimulation that can bring upon physical symptoms. In such a case, all the individual wants is to be "home, alone, where it's quiet".

Family induced fatigue can also be the result of not prioritising sleep - whether it's having a late night catching up with family members, last-minute packing or being woken up early by excited children.

Dr. Fried said many clients describe their family jet lag as “an overwhelming, pit-of-their-stomach sense of dread and avoidance".

So, what can you do to combat it? (Post continues after gallery.)

Well - sleep is a good start.

But, for some, it might also be important to establish rules, such as subjects that are off-limits. They might include politics, your lack of husband, any discussion of weight, or how best to mash the (goddamn) potatoes.

Dr. Fried also suggests that if you are an introvert, or think family jet lag sounds familiar, then staying in the same house as family might not be the best idea. Book a hotel to ensure at least a little bit of distance.

Most importantly, know that how you're feeling right now is very normal.