Do You Like This Story?

summertech Technology ate my holiday

Technology ate my holiday. Let’s not even call it a holiday. Let’s just call it ‘moving my life to a different location’. Because that’s exactly what I did last week, moved my office and family up the coast.  We even took the dog. Now that my life has returned home, it’s business as usual – without any of the residual benefits of a holiday.

 

I am not refreshed or relaxed. I do not have a renewed perspective on life. I am not sun-kissed or sea-sprayed. No new freckles. Hell, I barely remember leaving my desk. This is because I took my desk with me. Virtually. Packed it in my suitcase along with my cossie, a ton of kiddie paraphernalia and a book that was never opened.

I know I’m not the first to notice how portable technology like laptops, mobiles and Blackberries have blurred the line between work and every other aspect of life. And at a time when many people are losing their jobs, it does feel churlish to whinge about blurry lines. It’s a privileged complaint.

But gosh balls, I’m finding it hard to control the work beast. The fact I enjoy what I do makes me lucky but it also blurs the line more. And working for myself means I’ve pretty much dispensed with the blur and deleted the line altogether. With a staff of roughly zero, there’s nobody to mind the office when I’m away so I’m forced to schlep it along with me. Buh-bye annual leave, I’ll send you a postcard from notaholiday.com.

Technology has totally consumed the idea of downtime, hasn’t it? It’s gobbled up any semblance of clocking off. During my not-holiday, I’d estimate I spent several hours working every day. These were not consecutive hours or even minutes. Just snatches of time. Three minutes here, ten minutes there. A phone call. Some social texts. A few emails. Some blogging. My laptop was constantly on and connected to my portable modem so I didn’t have to waste precious time waiting for it to boot up.

My phone was on silent but I checked it throughout the day and took it with me whenever I left the house, still somehow managing to miss a bunch of important work calls.  I limited my Twitter activity to bare minimum and I tried to replace web surfing with actual surfing. You know, in water. I failed.

There was nothing relaxing or holiday-ish about all this, not remotely. I consider myself an accomplished multi-tasker but trying to work and play simultaneously is a mental shift that’s often uncomfortably jarring for me and my loved ones, especially when we’re trying to have a holiday. You see, whenever I’m on my phone or laptop. I lose the ability to hear and all peripheral vision.

You can ask me a question repeatedly and I will not hear it or see you because I am in The Technology Tunnel. My eldest child (who experiences the same affliction while watching The Biggest Loser or Masterchef) has worked out how to use my distraction to his advantage. The younger ones just escalate their demands or naughty behaviour until someone loses the plot entirely, frequently me.

This is why I don’t have a Blackberry. During the five minutes I worked in television, I had one. It came as a loaner with the job. Before that, I’d always resisted them because of my propensity to become addicted to communication devices. “It frees you from your computer!” exhorted Blackberry devotees. “You can leave the office and go on appointments and travel without being chained to your desk!” they enthused. What they neglected to mention, however, was that a Blackberry chains your desk TO YOU.

Initially, I imposed strict rules governing the use of my Blackberry. The first was to keep it separate to my phone so I didn’t have to have it constantly switched on. The second rule was that I had to limit the number of times I checked it at home.

Like any addict, flimsy mental rules were not enough to keep me clean, I needed razor wire and an electrified fence. Since neither came with my Blackberry, it wasn’t long before I was checking my emails IN THE SHOWER.

And yes, this is possible if you hold your arms out far enough in front of your body. Needless to say, I was delighted to return my Blackberry when I left that job and I never replaced it. My laptop, however, is like a giant Life Handbag, overflowing with endless amounts of useful and useless stuff, always in need of a clean out and accompanying me everywhere.

Technology aside, my expectations for holidays are already very low due to the fact I’m a parent which means doing your relaxing in relay form. This is interspersed with terse exchanges about whose turn it is for a break. “What do you MEAN you’ve looked after the kids all afternoon? They’ve been ASLEEP FOR TWO HOURS SO THAT DOESN’T COUNT. Especially when I’ve been out buying groceries NOT EXACTLY READING MY BOOK ON THE BEACH WHILE SIPPING A COCKTAIL.”

And don’t even get me started on travel cots because my ears will start to bleed just thinking about how insufferably noisy all that nylon is. Are we having fun yet people? Who’s ready to go home?

Now I just need to find a holiday destination with no mobile reception or broadband.

How do you balance holidays and work and technology? Can you ever just switch off?

Comments

Comment Guidelines : Imagine this is a dinner party. Differences of opinion are welcome but keep it respectful or the host will show you the door. If you're rude or abusive, your comment will be deleted (so will comments responding to other rude comments because they won’t make sense - so save your breath). And if you’re offensive, you’ll be banned. Remember what Fonzie was like? Cool. That's how we're going to be - cool. Have fun and thanks for adding to the conversation...

Use your profile to comment:
Or, comment as a guest:
(Max file size is 150kb & jpeg's only - if you need help resizing go here »)

46 Comments so far

  1. GD Star Rating
    loading...
    Burvy

    Everything has an off button. Just turn it off.

  2. GD Star Rating
    loading...
    gh

    easy. go somewhere where there is no 3G, poor normal mobile coverage and no wifi.

    that’s my plan next week. the south coast of NSW is great for that, so is being with OPTUS.

  3. GD Star Rating
    loading...
    tigerhu

    Haha, it’s so true!

  4. GD Star Rating
    loading...
    tara

    FFS this post is over two years old! Why was it dredged up – just so some brave “anonymous” could spout abuse? *Everything* has changed over the last couple of years in terms of staffing and how mamamia is run, and there have doubtless been many other changes too.

    Why the intense vitriol at an outdated post which is no longer true?

  5. GD Star Rating
    loading...
    Anonymous

    yes, you can switch off. I think this is one of the saddest things I’ve read in a long, long time. Your poor darling children. They are people, do you remember that? Your children are people with needs, and they need you, their mother, and of course their father. Trouble is, you think you are indispensible, Mia. To your children you are, but to everyone else, there is someone waiting to knock you off your perch. Well, let em, go and give your kids a big hug. You are not that important. The world will carry on without you. I’m disgusted in your fucked up attitude.

    • GD Star Rating
      loading...
      oliveblanche

      Wow sounds like someones having a bit of a hissy fit….perhaps jealous of Mia’s success??? I’m disgusted by your attitude! It’s just nasty! Lots of people come to this site because it helps them in many different ways. Considering all the hours and hours of work that Mia and her staff have sacrafised to make a great community I would say she and they are pretty important to a lot of us. So if you could kindly go back where you came from and leave us in peace that would be great! Ta ta!!

      • GD Star Rating
        loading...
        Anonymous

        of course!! anyone remotely critical (though this one was OVER the top) MUST be jealous…………..

        • GD Star Rating
          loading...
          Jen

          I have to say, just reading over various posts on topics on this site the past couple of days, Mia has been taking quite a cyber bashing lately.

          Give her a break eh? :-)

        • GD Star Rating
          loading...
          oliveblanche

          Errm it was the way in which anonymous spoke that sounded to me like a classic case of the green eyed monster. Also the fact that they weren’t brave enough to put their name and used such personal attacks makes me think they know a lot about Mia and are deliberately trying to hurt her for the afore mentioned reason. I hope you guys take this down. It’s too nasty! There is crisistism and then there is bullying. And I don’t give a shit if Mia has money (none of my business) or is successful. It doesn’t not give people the RIGHT to personally attack her like that. It is bullying and I’m sick of it! As Jen said she has received quite a lot of cyber bashing lately. Not fair criticism or constructive criticism but down right cyber bashing because she has now got some what of a celebrity status people are playing the good old past time of tall poppy chopping! Never mind all the wonderful things the woman has done over (sorry it’s been so long I can’t say when I first noticed Mias work and became a fan). Never mind she has created a great community for people to come and express them selves. People who like me don’t comment on other web sites because there are so many nasty people hiding behind a screen. FFS if you don’t like Mia or her team or the Mamamia community for whatever reason bugger off. Your just depressing a hell of a lot of
          people! Mia is a PERSON with feelings and emotions! Who has done a lot of good! She deserves a thank you not to be slandered by people who are too lazy to learn anything about her and want to take their bad feelings out on someone else etc. Guh go by an actual punching bag people and quit bullying people around here!!!

          • GD Star Rating
            loading...
            rachael1260

            “oliveblanche” is hardly using your own name. I agree that the criticism was harsh but “Anonymous” makes a good point. Noone is indispensible and the world wasn’t going to stop if Mia took a real break.

            • GD Star Rating
              loading...
              oliveblanche

              And how do you do my name? And what does it even matter if it is my name or not? I’m not sitting here bullying people over the Internet instead of dealing with problems in my real life. “Noone is indispensable” therefore all people must be dispensable? And I wasn’t aware that anyone had said the world would stop if Mia took a break (btw I’m not going to talk about her anymore cos it’s rather rude). My overall point is that nastiness is not appreciated and serves no purpose other than to make someone (the person hiding behind a screen) feel good. Don’t you think we are all a bit too intelligent for trash talk and bitchiness of someone we don’t even know?! Perhaps this is personal for me because I had to cut off a “friend” who continually sent me nasty facebook msgs. I told her not to and to just talk to me face to face but nope. When she got in a mood someone had to be hurt. Which is why when I see comments particularly over famililar with the subject it shows me that the person commenting just wants to hurt someone else to get a rush of adrenaline to feel better about whatever their problem is. And while I’m sure that’s a great distraction and all it’s really rather pathetic. Well that’s just my humble opinion. And btw Oliveblanche is a real name so please don’t disrespect it.

            • GD Star Rating
              loading...
              rachael1260

              Hi oliveblanche. I have to reply to my own post because there’s no “reply” thingo under your last post. We must have exhausted the system!

              You are right about some of us using discussion walls as a way of venting pent up frustrations. But discussion walls are just that – for discussion of ideas and opinions. It’s a relatively new medium and to me the whole thing still seems rather impersonal.

              I know that you don’t want to discuss Mia anymore but I guess i figure that when people make a living from blogging, they expect to cop a variety of reactions to their writing and ideas.

              I’m sorry about your frustrating experience with your friend and of course ALL of us bring to these discussions our personal issues.

              I seriously didn’t mean any disrespect regarding your name. I mistakenly assumed it wasn’t your real name. Sorry.

              Rachael

  6. GD Star Rating
    loading...
    poppycheeks

    I work in the newspaper business and yes my blackberry is under my pillow. However my roommate (also in newspapers with a blackberry) and I went on a holiday for three weeks to thailand. Guess what we left at home? The phones.

    It was sad that we could hear other peoples going off and we would prick up but slowly we got used to it and loved it! I didn’t even turn it on for the 3 days when I got home before I went back to work, not even for personal stuff.

    I did get online while I was away to mainly email my boyfriend but never logged into my emails or anything. And you know what? Everyone survived and the paper got out everyday. Yes its different when the business is yours but it wont be if you burn out.

    What an more experienced media man once said to me was ‘if you die tomorrow, all of this will still happen’. And that’s what I have to remind myself. There are colleagues who are always un-contactable on holidays because they are smart enough to protect their time. And good on them. I’m determined to take a leaf out of that book and I hope Mia that you can too – its so liberating!

    Us control freaks just need to delegate and take our time because god knows we give enough of it to our working lives.

  7. GD Star Rating
    loading...
    Anonymous

    Mia you need a holiday – everyone does at some stage – and a break for technology.
    Is there any reason why you couldn’t have closed the office – like so many other businesses, large and small, corporate and family, did between christmas and new year – and even into the first few days of 2012 so you could have a break?
    Obviously there were lots of us around looking for posts to reply to – the AWW/DH explosion being but one example. But seriously – nobody benefited from your ‘holiday’, least of all you or your family and thats a bit sad. Maybe next year give some consideration to closing the site, if only for ‘maintenance’ over the christmas to new year week. You will feel better for it, I promise.

    • GD Star Rating
      loading...
      chickie

      Um, you do realize Mia posted this in the new year of 2010?

      • GD Star Rating
        loading...
        Anonymous

        No I didn’t realise this, I just saw the date on it yesterday which was yesterdays date and responded thinking it was posted yesterday – not two years ago yesterday.
        I still stand by everything else I said on my initial response though.

        • GD Star Rating
          loading...
          Anonymous

          ummmm now I am really confused. The blog post says Jan 2010 but all the previous comments to yesterday are from May 2009…..??

  8. GD Star Rating
    loading...
    Kateateight

    The biggest difficulty is when you work for yourself; it is impossible to have a proper holiday unless you a) shut down the business entirely or b)have staff you can fully rely on.

    When I was a salaried employee, I didn’t worry so much, and could easily take a technology free holiday if I chose.

    I have never done a) and I am slowly getting to b). I’m hoping to have a proper holiday in November this year, because I haven’t really had one since starting my business 4 years ago.

  9. GD Star Rating
    loading...
    Anonymous

    go on a cruise. pretty sure there isn’t wi-fi and telephone cables in the middle of the ocean…

  10. GD Star Rating
    loading...
    MissV

    First time i went to Bali i spent a total of one hour on the computer, didn’t even bother taking my phone because everyone who contacts me on a regular basis was with me. That was for 16 days.
    Second time, i took my laptop because my boyfriends parents wanted to stay in touch and neither of us were taking our phones. I barely used it and got annoyed that they skype’d us so often (they would call our hotel to tell us to get on skype urgh). A holiday is a holiday. If you choose to check technology then that’s fine but i hated having to use it to chat about everyday mundane things that really could have waited until i got home. I didn’t even speak to my parents whilst i was away.

    Anyway, i find i can switch off quite easily and i’m thankful for that but i think it’s due to the fact that i don’t use the internet to keep in touch with friends and my job doesn’t require me to work outside of office hours which is nice.

    xxxmissvxxx.wordpress.com

  11. GD Star Rating
    loading...
    Loz

    Mia, I hear that Lord Howe island is “off the grid” – maybe you should try it out for your next “holiday”. I have a colleague who just read this over my shoulder and said she was checking her work emails while on a holiday to Paris where she was getting MARRIED. Oh, and don’t even get me started on my own honeymoon when my husband (business owner) recieved a call from an employee begging him to cut the holiday short and come back to deal with an urgent issue. I can feel the steam building just thinking about it.. But somehow I think we’re at fault, not the technology. It takes a lot of self control to switch it off, keep it off, and recharge those important batteries.

  12. GD Star Rating
    loading...
    Haven Maven

    Bloke and I went glamping round the South Island of NZ in the middle of the year for a week. I deliberately didn’t get roaming on my phone because I’d been stung before by the outrageous charges.

    It was blissful.

  13. GD Star Rating
    loading...
    Steph

    Mia! I’m dying to know, where did you go? You said up the coast, how far up the coast, I live on the Central Coast, did you come here like to say Terrigal ir something or did you go much further up the coast??

  14. GD Star Rating
    loading...
    JLo

    You’re welcome Mia ;)
    Anytime.

  15. GD Star Rating
    loading...
    ACTinglikeamama

    Oh Mia – I can relate so well! I have never been a ‘phone’ person and my mobile hardly rings, I send a text or two a day but that is it thank goodness. I often forget the phone and leave it at home. But internet? There is no way I can do without that little precious!

    Since discovering your website, and meeting (online) fellow MM followers I can safely say that I have a Blog/Twitter/Facebook Addiction. It go to the point I was just constantly refreshing the screen to see the latest comment, tweet or message (or scrabble play!). Needless to say, I had a major wake up call and have definitly tried to take a backseat and only spend two hours a day on the computer. Two hours may seem like a lot but I am truely suffering withdrawal symptoms. I have had to prioritise what I read and do. It’s led to me being less active on the net as a whole, which really sucks, it means you sometimes miss out on the latest scoop (a la britney last week!) and my own blog has suffered. What hasn’t suffered is my family, and finally, I ma happy with this balance. Happy family, semi-happy internet usage. It really is all about priorities isn’t it??

  16. GD Star Rating
    loading...
    Pinny

    Also wanted to mention that there is an interesting article in today’s Age on this exact topic. You can probably find it online – I read mine over breakfast this morning.

  17. GD Star Rating
    loading...
    Pinny

    Technology shouldn’t be taken on holiday.
    Nobody is that important.
    A holiday should be just that.

  18. GD Star Rating
    loading...
    Lu

    Rowe can I give you my sister in laws phone number ? She recently cut back from working fulltime to 3 days so she could be a ‘hands on mum’. Her words. We went to Centennial Park together in the recent school holidays with our children, on one of her days off. Well I dont know who she’s kidding. She was on her Blackberry the whole time. She barely spoke to her kids.

  19. GD Star Rating
    loading...
    Rowe

    Starting yesterday, I have declared Sunday as an internet free day. I had a fab day and did not miss it at all. I don’t like being a slave to anything but freedom to have as much variety in my daily life as possible. I think it is a shame, probably more for your kids, Mia, or anyone else who cannot go on a family holiday and leave all aspects of work or homelife where it belongs – at home. Your kids will not be kids forever.

    • GD Star Rating
      loading...
      Mostly

      What a wonderful idea.

    • GD Star Rating
      loading...
      MissV

      It is nice!
      I rarely go on the internet on the weekends, except to transfer money or post a blog that i’ve already written, or buy a tatts ticket at the last minute :)

      It makes you realise that things can wait and the world won’t end if you aren’t accessible all day everyday!

  20. GD Star Rating
    loading...
    John

    Why would anyone want to waist their precious life on this earth on Twitter and why would anyone want to posses a Blackeberry is beyond me!
    I’m off to pick some Pawpaws for breakfast after I play with my dog on the beach….
    Expat living in Vanuatu.

  21. GD Star Rating
    loading...
    Candi

    I’ve just decided that I’m going to try and have a solid 1 hour detox from technology each day starting tomorrow. My mobile will be switched off. No computer. No television/dvd’s. Just me with a good book or magazine. I wonder how long it will last… Wish me luck!!!

  22. GD Star Rating
    loading...
    Lu

    Getting on the chairlift while on a family holiday in Thredbo last year with with my husband taking a business call was crossing the boundaries for me. So I hid his phone charger for the rest of the trip. No more phone calls from people who (a) see him more than his family do and (b) dont care that he is on holidays with his family. Work calls had to wait until his holidays were over, like they used to in the olden days….And then as we were leaving to go home the phone charger miraculously appeared from the bottom of a suitcase.

  23. GD Star Rating
    loading...
    Mia

    Bugmum – yes, was on holiday! Thanks to Redhossy and JLo for keeping an eye on comments for a week while I was trying not to log on…..

  24. GD Star Rating
    loading...
    Gab

    I just experienced the Technology Tunnel whilst reading this (cue unimpressed partner)!

  25. GD Star Rating
    loading...
    Amanda (bugmum)

    You went on holiday? From this end there was absolutely no difference in frequency of posting…good for us, probably not so good for you.

    Before I went on mat leave I was a crackberry …er…blackberry addict. I finally realised I had a problem when I was fielding emails and phonecalls at Mothers Group on my day off.

    For those of us who get off on work – I adore my job – it takes real discipline to leave work at work when temptation is just a teeny tiny keyboard away. Unfortunately, I don’t have any answers for breaking the addiction – my blackberry was forcibly removed from me when I had to go into hospital on bed rest at 25 weeks pregnant.

    Unfortunately, now I’m addicted to blogging, twitter and Mama Mia. It could be worse.

    p.s. Tuross Head also has crap mobile reception and is a wee bit closer than Vanuatu…though not as glam.

  26. GD Star Rating
    loading...
    Mick Prest

    Thanks for another great column/post. You have an uncanny ability to reflect on an issue with an insightful perspective and such self-deprecating humour – that’s why I love reading your stuff! I have sent the link to a number of my similarly addicted mates!! Of course, I am really strong!!!

  27. GD Star Rating
    loading...
    Lorna Lino

    It’s a difficult one, finding somewhere to holiday where you can truly get away. Maybe Mexico? Whilst you may not have gotten away from it all while you were there, you definately will be away from everyone when you back.

  28. GD Star Rating
    loading...
    Emma

    Is there gonna be a Logies Frockwatch special?!
    Hope so!

  29. GD Star Rating
    loading...
    kass

    When I go overseas I don’t take my mobile phone. I did it once and apart from the insane COST of being so accessible, I found I didn’t relax coz I kept checking it.

    Last year I left it at home (with a message to say I was away for 5 weeks and leaving my husbands mobile for emergencies….guess what, not a single emergency). It was brilliant. I just did as I pleased and a select few (husband and mother) had the number in Canada if they needed to reach me. Yes I could access the computer but I did this only twice a day. Which for me is miraculous!!

    I’m going to NYC and Canada for Christmas this year and I can’t wait ti leave my mobile at home and check my email once a day in an internet cafe.

    These days I would be happy to have a holiday on my couch if it meant killing off the phone and email :)

  30. GD Star Rating
    loading...
    fender4eva

    Ha Ha , Mia.I can so relate to the Technology Tunnel remark ! I dread power cuts. Can’t use the computer! If I’m out, I’m thinking , “how soon can I get back to Twitter”? My mobile is on, and I’m thinking “wonder if someone will ring me”? Is the world better for it? Not necessarily.Technology is a mixed blessing, for me,at least…..

  31. GD Star Rating
    loading...
    L

    Reading a book is so last century :)

    someone should invent an iphone app for tallying child minding hours. With number of children and hours awake being factors.

  32. GD Star Rating
    loading...
    Britts

    Vanuatu! Absolutely no reception or wireless access! And the internet cafes are so slow that your brain will explode – you’ll try it once and never bother attempting to use the net again.

    Before I went to Vanuatu last year, all my holidays and mini-breaks were exactly like you’ve described… I was on holiday, basically trying to make myself as “at-home” as possible with all of my technological crap I’d carted along with me.

    Vanuatu is the answer Mia!! :)

    Although, you run the risk of coming back super sick and scared you’ve caught some bug that is planning to kill you via a long and painful death… but hey, I still thought it was worth it :)

  33. GD Star Rating
    loading...
    JLo

    Hey Mia, it’s a shame you didn’t get much ‘downtime’ I find it is essential to have very strict boundaries for family holidays. It is about the only time I get all “old school” and put in lots of rules about not only technology but also TV and get everyone outside as much as possible.

    At the end of last year I gave Brett an ultimatium for our 4 day family get away at the sunshine coast he had to choose between his bike (he is a cycling freak who would ride for 8 hrs a day if i let him) OR his iphone (which is permanently attached to his ear 24/7 he even listens to downloads on his iphone to go to sleep every night)

    After many a tantrum and lots of thought, he brought the bike, my addiction would be under control as we weren’t bringing the laptop and the apartment did not have internet access (so not chance of being addicted to MM on hols) and Miss 4yrs was not allowed to bring any DVDs – only books and her bucket and spade.

    It was the best holiday ever, Brett rode every morning until 9.00 while i got up and took Miss 4 to the pool for an early morning swim. By the time he got back, he took her for a coffee while i read my book by the pool and then we all hung out together for lunch, beach in the arvo and lots of walks up and down the street checking out the shops and eating icecreams. It was only a few days but it was just what we needed.

    When we got home, I was totally refreshed and only spent a solid 24- 48hrs on return trying to catch up on everything I had missed on the internet!! ha ah

    Anyway, the point is – EVERY ONE needs to unplugged at some stage. You should give us all on MM notice, plan in advance and just post one thing a day before you go and go to the most remote place on earth where there is NO reception for mobiles or internet access and lots of ice cream – the kids would love it!

    • GD Star Rating
      loading...
      shannon fricke

      move to byron bay mia, there’s no mobile phone coverage even when you want it!