When deciding whether to end a relationship, some say you should listen to your heart. Others believe the answer lies in your head. But if you ask actress Olivia Wilde, the real oracle is located a bit further south… in your pants.
Ladies: when in doubt, consult your vagina.
“You may be able to convince your relatives at Christmas dinner that everything on the home-front is peachy, but you cannot lie to your vagina,” Olivia told the audience at These Girls, a monologue night hosted by Glamour magazine on Monday. She was referring to the end of her eight-year marriage to Italian prince Tao Ruspoli. The couple divorced last year.
“I felt like my vagina died. Turned off. Lights out … When I finally told her it was probably time to split, she looked up at me and said ‘Ya think?’”
Well, apparently we haven’t been giving our vaginas enough credit. Perhaps they could have a stern word to our hearts every now and then and remind them to stop pursuing wildly inappropriate men. That would be nice.
Speaking to Vulture after the event, she elaborated on her monologue:
“Sometimes your vagina dies,” she says. “Then you know it’s time to go. There’s no reason to sacrifice your womanhood and femininity for some sort of weird feeling of responsibility to something that may not be right. I feel like far too many women do that.” Also, “[Men] are not allowed to be the only ones thinking with their genitals. We think with our pussies.”
Interesting. And the frank confessions didn’t end there. Apparently Olivia and her current boyfriend, Saturday Night Live’s Jason Sudeikis, “have sex like Kenyan marathon runners”. Sounds exhausting, but we guess that means her vagina’s back in the game.
Oh, and did we mention Jason was in the audience too?
Olivia then went on to propose a solution to monogamy in the form of Olivia Land, her own relationship Utopia with some rather unique views on love and commitment. Like in Olivia Land, relationships only last for 7 years.
In Olivia Land, relationships can legally only last seven years, without an option to renew. That way it never goes stale. Can you imagine, if we only had seven years? We’d be so nice to each other, so kind, and appreciative and enthusiastic, like we were eating a really expensive bowl of pasta! And in Olivia Land people wouldn’t cheat nearly as much because there wouldn’t be the threat of spending forever with one bedfellow. It just wouldn’t be legal.
There’s the issue of kids. Okay, this is fun. In Olivia Land, all the kids go to boarding school at seven. It’s like in Harry Potter!
I would like to legalise prostitution. Hiring a sex worker in Olivia Land would be as easy, hygienic, and inexpensive as getting a pedicure. That way when away on business or just not in the mood, we could just hire a hooker for our loved one and keep them uninterested in cheating and keep them satisfied. These particular hookers would obviously have to be mute and possibly cross-eyed.
In Olivia Land, the streets are paved with dark chocolate, and all the people are free of body hair and menstrual cramps.”
Let’s just say, if Olivia decided to write a relationship advice book it would be worth reading.
What do you think – should we listen to our vaginas more often? Do you think 7-year relationships be the solution to all our problems?