Rebecca Sparrow
by REBECCA SPARROW
Bless you, Karl Stefanovic. This week the Today Show host made me feel a little less like the Mayoress of Loser Town.
Karl and the divine Lisa Wilkinson were discussing one of my favourite topics: misheard song lyrics. And I’ve gotta say – the mistakes they mentioned in the segment were utterly horrendous (which made them brilliant) and left me feeling like I could join MENSA.
I mean, who knew that apparently millions of people think Pat Benatar is singing ‘hit me with your pet shark’ rather than ‘hit me with your best shot’? WTF people? It doesn’t even make sense. For starters, a pet shark? You haven’t even thought that through. And who gets ‘hit’ with a shark. Surely the word should be ‘slap’?
Next there was Nirvana’s Smells Like Teen Spirit. Twenty-years on and uncool parents everywhere still think Kurt Cobain was singing about being in a container. (Think: Here we are now, entertain us rather than Here we are now, IN CONTAINERS.)
Really, that five minute Today Show segment, left me feeling slightly vindicated – or at least less alone – since about two years ago I got caught singing the wrong lyrics to a song. I was trying to look cool at the gym while running on the treadmill. Trying to look hip in front of Jason my trainer who had the looks of The Commando and the personality of, well, The Commando.
And I found myself attempting to sing along to some cool-ass-gangster-rap-hip-hop-yo-yo-wassup-dawg song as I shuffled along on the treadmill like Cliff Young. And somehow I ended up singing the words. “Like a cheese stick, like a cheese stick” to a song that apparently is not dairy-focused. The song is called “Like a G6”. Allegedly. I think that sounds ridiculous. I mean, what the hell is a G6? My trainer however thought this was HYSTERICAL.
Oh how we laughed at my mistake. Well, he laughed. I made a mental note to send him an email virus.
“Alex the Seal!”
But it got me thinking about misheard song lyrics. A quick scan of my friends and it seems I’m not alone in screwing up words. Here are just a few of their mistakes:
- Cheap Wine and A Three Day Roast (Cheap Wine and A Three Day Growth by Cold Chisel)
- Save the Whales (Sail Away by Enya)
- Turn the Heater On (Turn The Beat Around by Gloria Estefan)
- We’re Gonna Get Dressed For Safe Sex (We’re Gonna Get Dressed For Success by Roxette)
- Alex The Seal (Our Lips Are Sealed by The Go-Gos)
- Our Father And Mark and Kevin (Our Father Who Art in Heaven, The Lord’s Prayer)
- Take your pants off and make it happen (Take your passion and make it happen – Flashdance)
- And one friend’s five-year-old is convinced ABBA’s Dancing Queen is “Dancing Bean. Dancing Bean. Feel the touch of your tangerine.”
So now I don’t feel quite so stupid. Well, I still feel stupid but I’m in good company. And at least I know the words to Smells Like Teen Spirit. I think.
Have you misread song lyrics before?
Comments
268 Comments so far
PMSL!! I remember hearing that song you’re talking about and spending a good long time trying to figure out why she was singing about cheese sticks!!
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Not a song title or lyrics, but my 8yo son calls maple syrup – ‘nasal syrup’. Pass the nasal syrup for my pancakes please. Yummy!!
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I’ve heard a few before. One was for Grease – I’ve got shoes, they’re made of plywood instead of I’ve got chills they’re multiplying and also Blowin in the wind – the ants are my friends, they’re blowin in the wind instead of the answer my friends is blowin in the wind
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I read this during a quiet moment in class – and promptly cracked up as in doubled over, red face, hysterical laughter. One of the kids said ‘Miss you look like you’re gonna pee your pants!’
This is THE funniest lyric mistake of all time.
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I only just realised that that the Sesame Street theme starts with “Sunny day, sweepin’ the clouds away…” For 30 odd years I have sung “Sunny day, sweep the grass, clouds away…” I recently asked myself why they would sweep the grass, which led me to google. Doh!
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Cheap wine and a VIDEO!
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Cheap wine and VIDEO!! I got this one wrong too!
Jimmy needs to pronounce his words better!!
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“Cheap wine and a 3-legged goat…”
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I have a slightly more recent one, this modern love ” by bloc party where i like to sing “and you told me you wanted to eat all my sandwich”
(in reality it is “eat up my sadness”)
I like my version better hahahaha
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Yes! I thought I was the only one!
“And you told me you wanted to eat up my sandwich so jump right in Shorty and gorge away”. I just makes so much more sense.
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Remember that Eiffel 65 song Blue? My friends and I used to sing ‘I’m blue, I’m in need of a guy…’
When it came on the radio not long ago the words were out of my mouth before I realised. Husband thought it was hilarious (once he clarified I wasn’t serious!)
Old habits die hard!
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I know someone who would sing “I’m blue, I would beat off a guy, I would beat of a guy”.
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I used to sing “I’m blue, if I were green I would die” Haha, so many variations!
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Isn’t that the real version? “I’m blue, I believe I would die, if I were green, I would die”
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There was media attention in NZ that it was subliminally saying ‘I believe I will die’.
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Lol I used to think it was ‘Apples bleed, apple’s die, apple’s bleed, apple’s die.’ Idiot!
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I always thought it was “I love Cecile.” I often wondered what Cecile did to deserve Belinda’s love…
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I thought it was ‘honest Cecile!’ I thought she was have been a very honest person!
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I thought it was “honest Cecile” too :p
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Jimi Hendrix in ‘Purple Haze’.
It sounds suspiciously like he’s singing ”Scuse me, while I kiss this guy,’ when in actual fact the line is: ”Scuse me, while I kiss the sky.’
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“How can we be lovers if we can’t be catholic friends.” I just assumed Michael Bolton wanted friends of his religion.
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Same song
I heard ‘Baby, how can we make love if we can’t make the beds?‘
…instead of: Baby, how can we make love if we can’t make amends?
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OMG I had no idea… I thought it was a cute line about the beds! Oops.
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It has been a looong running joke in our family….My dad thought the line from Michael Jacksons “Billie Jean” where he sings “People always tell me be careful of what you do”…….was, ..”People always tell me Big Jaffa was a dude”………This came to light, when watching the video clip and he said “Don’t know why he hasn’t got Big Jaffa in the video clip!”……What the?!?!?!
We always sing dads lyric now……
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Love this post bec, makse me laugh. Mine was that song ‘call me al’ by Paul Simon. For a good 29 years of my life, I sang ‘if you be my buddy boy, I can be your long lost pal” but in fact, as my darling husband informed me, it was ‘if you be my bodyguard’. Sadly, I think that was only one of about five misheard lyrics in that song, which I still love.
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I love this. I am a total music lover but I was brought up mostly with classical music, (which my dad still listens to, gangsta style blaring out of the speakers, sun roof open. Embarrassing, but I digress). So I’m not great with learning lyrics. Lets see, I thought Macy Gray was singing “I wear goggles when you are not here”, instead f the much more sensible “my world crumbles when you are not here.” Kurt Cobain must have needed diction lessons, on top of other things, because I always thought it was “bloody nylons” instead of “a denial” he screamed at the end of Smells Like Teen Spirit. Which was fitting because I was at school at the time and hated wearing stockings with my winter uniform. As in aaaargh, my bloody nylons keep slipping down! Made total sense to me. Not sure why they frustrated Kurt so much though.
Also, my sister, when we said grace at family dinner used to say ‘For what we are about to receive may the Lord be truly thankful’. I’m sure he was.
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Believe it or not for years and years I thought michal Jackson was singing “free love, free love yeah” in Thriller.
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That. Is. Gold.
Bahahahahaha!
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“Summer boys” instead of “you’re the voice” by John Farnham.
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Flashdance. Always thought it was take your pants off and make it happen. It. Makes. Sense. Still sing it that way too.
And I always thought it was “we built this city on broken roads” not “we built this city on rock and roll”. Only found that out a year ago when doing Singstar. *facepalm*
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Hahaha omg Bec you have me in tears over here! I can’t stop laughing at all the misheard song lyrics especially your ‘like a cheese stick’ lyrics hahaha oh dear! I should send this post to my sister she is the Queen of misheard song lyrics… ever since we were kids up until now she gets lyrics messed up in her head but even funnier is the fact that she’s adamant that her version is right. When we were teens she’d sing songs out loud and the lyrics would be totally wrong but did she care… NO hahah!
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“Don’t Let your Son Go Down on Me”* by Elton John, 1974
Also covered by George Michael
*not my own misheard song lyrics, but the funniest one I’ve heard of.
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That is HILARIOUS. ‘Don’t let the sun…’ is one of my favourite EJ songs, I’ll never hear it the same way ever again now
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HAHAHAHHA this is great !
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Another version of Dressed for Sucess was We’re Gonna Get Dressed To Suck Cec (as in Cecil)!
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AC/DC “It’s a long way to the shop if you want a sausage roll”.
I heard someone sing this and now it’s stuck in my head. Grrrrr.
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My boyfriend and I sing that as joke lyrics, because that’s what it sounds like. Even though we know the correct lyrics.
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Oh Bec you always make my laugh! I love your writing!
Another misheard lyric from my friend
Cold Chisel – Cheap wine and a three legged goat!
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I thought it was “cheap wine and a 3 day grope” for years!
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Bon Jovi’s “living on a prayer”
I thought “Gina dreams of running away” was “Gina wants to die of old age”!
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I, too, would like to die of old age. It makes sense!
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Haha, yes I have done this. It wasn’t until I was watching the Glee concert DVD with subtitles as the Warbler’s performed Pink’s “Raise your glass” that I realised the lyrics are “all my underdogs” not “all night after dawn.”
Man did I feel dumb. But at the same time, it had never sounded right to me. I mean, “all night after dawn” makes no sense.
The funniest instance was a few weeks ago when I was talking to a friend who had just seen Legally Blonde the musical for the first time. She was saying how there are similarities to Legally Blonde and our favoruite musical, WICKED and one of the examples she mentioned was “they both have made up words.”
Racking my brain and trying to think of an instance of a made up word in LB, I asked her for an example. She replied with “proposalized”
Confused, I asked where in the show that was, and she said it was during the first song.
I had to laugh as I replied. “Hon, I think the lyrics are ‘proposal eyes’.”
We laugh about it now. I’ve seen Legally Blonde twice since then and EVERY time I hear the song I now think of it and giggle.
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Cheap wine and a three legged goat (cold chisel and this one is me). Thought it was all a bit sinister.
If I was green I would die (abudee abudie…the blue song, can’t remember the real name but they sing about living in blue house with a blue corvette and everything is blue…a friend of mine)
She ain’t no fun in jeans (she ain’t no ball and chain by Offspring…my sisters ex)
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My daughter thinks Beyonce sings “all the singlets, all the singlets”, so that song features heavily in our getting dressed morning routine.
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Ha! My daughter thought this too. Actually, she thought it was cigarettes and then corrected herself to singlets. We like singlets much better.
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I love this!
My Mum had some different lyrics for Cheap Wine…. She always thought they were singing “Cheap wine and a female goat” and could never understand what I found so appealing about this song! Or the band, for that matter!
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On another Nirvana song. The lyrics “I miss the comfort of being sad” I thought and sang at the top of my voice “I was a corporal in Vietnam” Face palm.
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