Bec - Mamamia Wednesday 14 November 2012 8:00am

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Rebecca Sparrow

by REBECCA SPARROW

Bless you, Karl Stefanovic.  This week the Today Show host made me feel a little less like the Mayoress of Loser Town.

Karl and the divine Lisa Wilkinson were discussing one of my favourite topics: misheard song lyrics. And I’ve gotta say – the mistakes they mentioned in the segment were utterly horrendous (which made them brilliant) and left me feeling like I could join MENSA.

I mean, who knew that apparently millions of people think Pat Benatar is singing ‘hit me with your pet shark’ rather than ‘hit me with your best shot’?  WTF people? It doesn’t even make sense.   For starters, a pet shark?  You haven’t even thought that through.  And who gets ‘hit’ with a shark. Surely the word should be ‘slap’?

Next there was Nirvana’s Smells Like Teen Spirit.  Twenty-years on and uncool parents everywhere still think Kurt Cobain was singing about being in a container. (Think: Here we are now, entertain us rather than Here we are now, IN CONTAINERS.)

Really, that five minute Today Show segment, left me feeling slightly vindicated – or at least less alone – since about two years ago I got caught singing the wrong lyrics to a song.   I was trying to look cool at the gym while running on the treadmill. Trying to look hip in front of Jason my trainer who had the looks of The Commando and the personality of, well, The Commando.

And I found myself attempting to sing along to some cool-ass-gangster-rap-hip-hop-yo-yo-wassup-dawg song as I shuffled along on the treadmill like Cliff Young.   And somehow I ended up singing the words. “Like a cheese stick, like a cheese stick” to a song that apparently is not dairy-focused.  The song is called “Like a G6”. Allegedly.  I think that sounds ridiculous. I mean, what the hell is a G6? My trainer however thought this was HYSTERICAL.

Oh how we laughed at my mistake. Well, he laughed. I made a mental note to send him an email virus.

“Alex the Seal!”

But it got me thinking about misheard song lyrics.  A quick scan of my friends and it seems I’m not alone in screwing up words.  Here are just a few of their mistakes:

- Cheap Wine and A Three Day Roast   (Cheap Wine and A Three Day Growth by Cold Chisel)

- Save the Whales (Sail Away by Enya)

- Turn the Heater On  (Turn The Beat Around by Gloria Estefan)

- We’re Gonna Get Dressed For Safe Sex  (We’re Gonna Get Dressed For Success by Roxette)

- Alex The Seal  (Our Lips Are Sealed by The Go-Gos)

- Our Father And Mark and Kevin (Our Father Who Art in Heaven, The Lord’s Prayer)

- Take your pants off and make it happen (Take your passion and make it happen – Flashdance)

- And one friend’s five-year-old is convinced ABBA’s Dancing Queen is “Dancing Bean. Dancing Bean. Feel the touch of your tangerine.”

So now I don’t feel quite so stupid. Well, I still feel stupid but I’m in good company. And at least I know the words to Smells Like Teen Spirit. I think.

Have you misread song lyrics before?