Big Brother Season 8 launch night
by NATH VALVO
It’s baaaaaaaaack. Like a case of herpes, another season of Big Brother has popped up before our eyes!
Channel Nine’s revamp of the show is bigger, brighter and louder than ever (and that’s just Sonia Kruger’s pants). Big Brother fans like me are cracking brain boners over the return of the diary room, nomination nights, surprise evictions and watching someone wash dishes live on Up Late. DISH WASHING LIVE ON TELEVISION. HELLS TO THE YES.
I have watched all previous eight seasons of Big Brother, including the last season on Channel 10, which was hosted by Kyle and Jackie O and was well and truly awful. So awful in fact, that I don’t even think Kylie and Jackie O themselves watched it.
Hey look a blue car!!! Let’s move on. We’re living in the now. So let’s talk about last night.
Are you already in love or do you hate the new housemates?
There’s no need for names here, I’m sure I can sum them all up for you. We’ll have the bogan one, the flirty one, the hot one, the dumb one, the nice one, the smart one, the one who’ll end up on the cover of Zoo Weekly and the one you didn’t even know was in the house who will end up winning.
But as another season of Big Brother is upon us, we must also prepare for another outbreak of BBVD, more commonly known as Big Brother Viewer Denial.
BBVD affects tens of thousands of Australians and currently there is no known cure.
The usual symptoms of BBVD can be found in conversation with the sufferer. When asked if they watch Big Brother – the response is usually along the lines of:
“Why would I watch that crap?”
“No I do not, I have a life!”
“Is that hotdogs guy still on it?”
If you were to call every person you know (good luck getting connected if you’re with Vodafone) and ask them if they watch Big Brother, many of them will respond with something similar to the examples above.
But the fact is that people must be lying when they deny watching this show because according to OzTam ratings, around 1.6 million people tuned in to Monday night’s premier episode.
To put that in context: Tens new Everybody Dance Now debuted with 598,000. Poor Kelly Rowland, she spends her career standing next to Beyonce NOW THIS. Hey Kelly Rowland, if you’re reading this, my local Video Ezy is looking for casual staff right now and they’re a great bunch of people.
Where was I? OH right yes … Why are people embarrassed to admit they watch Big Brother? It’s entertainment at it’s best and the past seasons have given us endless laughs and unforgettable Hallmark moments.
Who could forget Sarah Maries infamous bum dance from season 1?
Jess and Marty fell in love in front of 35 camera’s and got married. (They are now divorced. oO well.)
Who could forget the time that annoying hippy Merlin taped over his mouth and held a sign saying “Free The Refugees”?
Still amazing to watch. WATCH:
Who could forget the turkey slap? The television incident that caused such a storm that Prime Minister John Howard asked Channel 10 to pull the show off air!
What about the time we all fell in love with Reggie – the fish and chip owner from Tassie who ended up taking out the major prize?
And what about the time Gretel Killeen fell arse over tit on live television walking through the big brother house?
Who could forget THIS fight?
How great was it when Bree was wrongly evicted out of the house and put back in (Bree finished as runner up of the season… she lost to… umm… what his name?)
How about the time that blonde guy washed his balls in the sink?
What about the time they kept swapping the identical twins in the house?
Do you remember how brilliantly Gretel Killeen handled the “live black out” ?
Like it or not, Big Brother has delivered some very memorable Australian TV moments.
I don’t know if this new season will deliver any but I’ll be watching just in case.
To you I say this: Get over your BBVD and bring it on.
Oh and one last thing … Need I remind you that we have Big Brother to thank for delivering us Chrissie Swan? Nuff said.
Rant over.
Nath Valvo is a comedian based in Melbourne. He can be heard on the Nova FM network and will one day host his own talk show. You can follow him on twitter here.
Are you watching Big Brother? What other television shows are you loving right now?
Comments
62 Comments so far
They said big brother was going to be different by using normal average people but it’s the same. They’re still young, still hooking up, still talk about crap. I assumed that when they said normal people it mean’t people of all ages and not just young singles with loud mouths. Big brother may have a new host but it’s the same crap just different day.
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Bring back Gretel!! Why did she leave anyway??
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In a nutshell… I’m enjoying Sonia Kruger’s hosting – she is being entertaining and lively, without trying too hard and being obnoxious.
I’m enjoying the personalities on the show – sure, they do fit a lot of those moulds that have been on the show previously (the pretty one, the quirky one, the quiet nerdy one etc) … but there isn’t a foul mouthed, horrible class clown in there to “stir things up”, and I love that.
AND although the show has not changed one bit from its previous incarnations, I am addicted and cannot wait to watch it each night. Only difference I can pick (apart from a mix up in the voting system) is that they’ve changed the way they edit the daily shows to give more of a snapshot of the entertaining stuff – which is what your want anyway.
Loved what you wrote, Nath. I openly and proudly admit to watching BB, and don’t care what others say. I know that I am just watching a bunch of regular people do regular things, but it appeals to my love of watching people interact, and I’ll continue to watch as long as it is on the air!
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Plenty of ratings? No one I know of watched it. What a waste of time. Just leave BB in the noughties and come up with original ideas for shows than re-hashing has been shows like this. Next please.
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I choose not to watch this unadulterated, pointless dung. Thank God for ‘Puberty Blues’. Now I have something to watch.
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Oh my… I never saw that argument (I was overseas and missed that season). That hurts to watch.
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Very well written. Like a walk down memory lane. And the funny thing is there are people who do know all this BB triva. I watched the 1st show years back and lost interest in sitting on the couch fretting over a bogan on the tv. But I would hear the hoo ha about the varies winners.. not my cup of tea really, it would be like being in an audition mode for how many weeks??????
The horror the horror……
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Big Brother has always been a “social experiment” and useful for kids who don’t get out much, who are shy, who don’t know how to talk to the opposite sex, who find social interaction a mystery, but is it a genuine reflection of our young society ?…..well, no.
There are too many representatives missing in this one…….
More than any of the others it also highlights the miserable level of general knowledge amongst the under 35′s…….that’s sad, and dangerous.
Because of this, they may make poor decisions regarding politics, and not have the skills to resist conmen,. Their appreciation of the arts, TV and film will be flawed and their enjoyment of travel and life in general will be dimmed……they deserve more.
Big Brother’s contestants are generally pleasant and “nice” and watching them is part of the usual consumption of celebrity – a bit like eating fast food.
There have been some terrific talents to emerge from Big Brother and it’s one of those shows that I don’t watch often, but I’m glad it’s there.
You DO know that the show’s producers kind of “orchestrate moments” to give a particularly useful and entertaining spin on contestant’s personalities and relationships don’t you ?…..Good, – then enjoy……lol.
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OMG What an awesome writer you are. HILARIOUS!
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Big Brother. Who caaares!
Never watched it and not going to start now.
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Could there be anything more boring to watch then wanna be’s stuck together in a house trying to out do each other. It makes me yawn just thinking about it. Hopefully it will get zapped like the previous one sooner than later..
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Yeah, a real Australian show. No wogs, Asians, Indians or Aboriginals… just like Home & Away, etc etc…
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for your information aboriginals are original autralians, not that i am aboriginal but still, your comment is dumb and stupid
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Ummm… yeah Shylla….. who is the ‘dumb & stupid’ person here? You obviously do not even understand my comment. Go read a book.
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I know you are just joking but I contracted HSV1 this year from my partner who never knew he had the cold sore virus because he had never had an outbreak. I went through such a bad time until an amazing nurse gave me this website that tells you the straight facts no drug company bias and no over dramatic crap http://www.herpes.org.nz. Did you know over 80% of the population have some form of herpes? That chicken pox is a kind of herpes? Sorry soapbox just cranky and emotional
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Hey, just letting you know I’m in a very similar situation to you (HSV1 from my boyfriend of 5 years, he’d never had an outbreak so it was very weird). It sucks hey, and it sucks even worse when ignorant people make jokes about it like it’s some disease only careless or dirty people who sleep around get. It’s not funny to us!! And you’re right, a lot more people have it than you would think. In fact, a lot of people have it and never even know because they don’t have an outbreak or the outbreaks are extremely minor.
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Oh come on! He wasn’t making fun of people with herpes, it was simply an analogy of something that keeps coming back time and time again which I’m sure you would agree, is exactly what a bad case of herpes does.
Very funny article Nath Valvo.
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BB and other reailty shows are a cheap way to make a TV show- no wonder the result is cheap rubbish. I wish that Nine and other networks would fund some good Australian drama. I agree with Mumabulous- what about some original offerings and please employ some of our great Aussie actors that struggle to find work in the Arts. And those unforgettable moments? No, they are simply things that happened upon an ocean of trite nothingness. If this reality rubbish continues to rate we can expect BB 9, 10, 11 and forever. What a bleak future for the Australian TV industry!
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Reality TV is like a plague. A plague of stupid.
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I used to like Sonia Krueger.
I thought she was classy, sassy, stylish – even with all that botox/surgery.
I guess I was wrong.
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I think her poor face really struggles when she smiles, kinda like its trapped. But i Do like her alot.She is sassy!
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We switched to Masterchef All Stars and that was a hell of a lot better as like the old Masterchef contestants better than the ones from this year. BB is just a load of rubbish – can’t believe it’s on again after all the controversy.
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I will turn the TV off and read a book rather than watch such a mindless show as BB.
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It’s good to see they are reflecting the Australian multicultural experience so well.
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Oh Dave, I think that is sarcasm…..I agree!!
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1.6 Million teens, young adults and people who wish they were watched BB on Monday. I am so sick of reality tv It’s brain numbing
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Hey y’all! Just wanted to let you know we’re having a few issues with our commenting system today. So if you’ve had any troubles today – comments not showing up etc – we’re very sorry, but we’re onto it!
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I’ll admit to watching it. Maybe it’s too early to decide whether it’s different or not, but the secrets thing? Lame. Most people now know who the multi-millionaire is!
I cringe whenever the girls start talking in a group – they’re all so loud and trying to speak over the top of each other. It’s hard to listen to. I’m also disappointed by the choice of housemates – surely from all the people who auditioned, they could’ve found a better mix??
My bet is that the controversial tweet of Ryan’s or the statement by Zoe may come back to the bite them early. It seems a lot of people were offended by both (and to be honest, why would you not deactivate or make your twitter private if you’re going to be away from it on national tv for up to 3 months??)
I’m giving Big Brother 2 weeks grace. If it doesn’t improve by the end of next week.. I will stop watching.
On another note, I’m loving Masterchef All Stars! I think it’s better than any of the previous series.
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Why were Ch. 9 banging on about how it would be ‘so different this time’?
Well I beg to differ:
- collection of loud-mouth 20-somethings – check
- one square peg – check
- communal beds – check
- communal shower – check
- arguments over who does chores – check
- ear piercing squeals from the girls – check
Please explain how it’s different or am I just missing something?
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Ha! Got it in one!
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I never watched BB (no, seriously, NEVER) mostly because when it came out I was younger and I wasn’t allowed to. Then I just never did.
BUT OH MY GOD!!! I just watched that ‘fight’ between Gretel Killeen and that Mike guy above….
She is a very bad public figure for such a show!!!!! She could have turned it around several times, but wow, she just couldn’t let him speak. He, on the other hand, handled it very well!!! In the end she just payed him out and made a mockery of him- something I think that made her look even more rude and silly!
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I only ever watched BB occasionally (usually while waiting for something else to come on), but I was “lucky” enough to catch this episode.
I remember all members of my share house (which kinda felt like BB sometimes) screaming at the TV as Gretel continuously cut Michael off.
Gretel’s snarky, often underhanded comments were a complete turn off for so many viewers. She tried too hard to be funny at the expense of the housemates that she just came across as bitter and nasty.
So glad that Channel 9 has picked someone with a friendlier on-air persona for this series, but I definitely won’t be watching it!
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Nath this is hilarious. I watched the first episode on Monday and I think I was one of the only people who admitted they actually enjoyed it.
I’m with you, bring it on.
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TV is really, really terrible right now isn’t it?
Fingers crossed Puberty Blues doesn’t disappoint tonight, can anyone recommend some other great dramas? All I’m watching lately is Gruen and docos.
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Why were Ch. 9 banging on about how it would be different? So far I see no difference at all – except the young man from Corakai. They’re all still young, white, middle-class, some very priviledged, tertiary educated. Snooze. And the bed-sharing and communal shower – so what – it’s been done before.
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Sick to death of herpes jokes being thrown around so flippantly. Ask your contributors to clean it up Mamamia.
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agreed.
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OMG! I can’t believe all the people below crying for the return of Gretel. I once loved (in a TV personalities you like kind of way) Gretel Killeen – that was until she started hosting BB. And as each season passed she got more and more grating. After 8 seasons of it, I grew to loath her voice, her mannerisms, her very presence and sincerely hope she never resurfaces on our TV screens again.
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I flicked over during the elocution segment of the show.
I’m not particularly enamoured with ‘Strayan TV at the moment.
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The ads were way better than the show. Julia Gillard doing that dance, hilarious!
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I can’t help but feel for the nerdy kid, he’s socially awkward and it’s a brave thing to do when you have a stutter/stammer.
Sonja Kruger is lovely and much better than Overlord Gretel.
I kinda enjoyed the artificially manufactured niceties. I have always been of the opinion that I’d rather experience fake kindness than genuine discontent.
Can’t see any matches in the house and I lurrve the retro kitchen. Peace.
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Yep, I flicked over to that Dance show on Monday night (during the BB ads) and Kelly Rowland was a huge reason for me to never watch that show again.
It was like The Voice (where in my opinion, the judges made it too much about themselves and each other, instead of the contestants) – but WORSE!
SHUT UP!!
Back to BB – Sonia is going well so far (she is annoying in DWTS, IMO), the housemates seem to be a good mix (looking forward to big anti “illegal” boat people Farmer Girl going up against human rights activist Skater Girl!), and hopefully Nine have studied why Ten sucked.
I hope they keep plying them with booze – and bring back Uncut!
I am a tragic for these trashy reality shows. In order of love; The Bachelorette, The Bachelor, The Bachelor Pad (haha- yes, in that order!), Beauty and the Geek, Geordie Shore, Jersey Shore, Big Brother, Farmer Wants a Wife… oh there must be more?!
The Shire is at the absolute bottom – but maybe because of their 2 drink limit – they will NEVER get trashed for my viewing pleasure!
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Do we really find herpes jokes entertaining?
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Yes, because glitter is the herpes of craft supplies.
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We didn’t a couple of weeks ago when it was used in an article title as an example for why being a single mum isn’t so bad (as herpes)… and it isn’t funny now, no.
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I’m still waiting for something to happen. They took too long to bring in all of the housemates and I’m already sick of the inane Tweets. They all say the same thing.
OMG ! I’m loving Fred Nerk already. Isn’t Fiona fantastic. When she sings she sounds like the girl who won The Voice !
I’ve seen grass grow quicker than this incarnation of BB moves. Something had better happen soon otherwise it will end up on GO! or GEM.
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I love Gretel, but she was very, very rude in that interview.
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How was she rude? She was sticking it to the dick head. He was the rude one who wasnt happy with his portrayl on the show and he tried to lie his way out of it and accuse them of editing the footage.
He needs to take responsibility for his own actions!
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Bring back Grets! Watching this makes me miss gretel…I don’t think Sonia will command the level of control that Gretel could! I’d love to see a true were are they now and see what they are all up to … Not just fits and Sara
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Sonya Kruger is not a patch on Gretel Killeen. Although the tin foil pants were entertaining, Sonya needs to stop dressing like a 22 year old heading out for a big night in the Cross. And I couldn’t even imagine her handling the blackout situation – Gretski was a true professional.
I watched most of the first night out of curiousity to see if they were doing anything different, and instead I saw stereotype after stereotype and a near identical house to before. Yawn.
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Gretel was amazing!
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*Yawn*. Next.
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Gretel was the best host. She had comedy, empathy and intelligence to keep the housemates in line. The show is so uninteresting now as all the housemates are there to get a career in showbiz. The first 4 seasons were about having fun, for most of the housemates!
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Ps loved grets hated micheal he was an ass!
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I watch it & it was promoted as being different this time, still waiting for that to happen. We have had the secret crap before, the housemates are all the same generic brand, it is already getting boring. I really was hoping for something different this time.
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The best thing about Big Brother is that it spawned the most hysterical parody of it, the book ‘Dead Famous’ by Ben Elton. Now THAT was entertaining. In my humble opinion, Big Brother is not.
Anyone at Mamamia, I will at any time, for free, edit any articles to make sure that the apostrophes are correctly placed. This article has got them all over the shop. Gotta say though, Nathan, when you wished good luck to the Vodafone subscribers trying to get connected, I thought to myself, ‘Too f*cking right,’ after having spent the weekend away with friends and the only one without coverage.
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Hello Zepgirl
I’m going to be very honest with you.
I skipped a lot of english classes in high school.
Oops.
N
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Hey Nath,
I’m honestly less concerned that you missed apostrophes (which heaps of people do) than the fact that your piece wasn’t edited by someone. Hence my offer!
And just quietly, what were you doing when you were suppsed to be in English…?!
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Im a fan and don’t bother to hide it I’m out and proud!
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Is it too much to ask for Australian TV to come up with an original idea every now and then? Its time Big Brother was put to bed and the light switched off.
Mumabulous@mum-abulous.com
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Having watched a fair amount of the first version of Big Brother, I’m turning into one of THOSE people… I’ve decided not to watch BB because there are way more mentally stimulating things I could be doing with my time. (She says having just watched an IQ’d ep of Giuliana and Bill.)
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Yep so, I’ve watched a few minutes of BB here and there and it seems as though they have gone for the ‘lovable bogan’ characters in the house this time.
Mostly, I miss Gretel. And although Sonia is really trying, she doesn’t seem to have that natural flow with her commentary.
The housemates don’t seem to be doing anything that interesting yet so the ‘pizza dough rising dance’ and other little things seem to be as interesting as it gets.
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